July 13 2018

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Friday, July 13, 2018 – Edition: #6254

Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ It only took one day after the 12 Thai boys and their soccer coach were rescued from a flooded cave for it to be revealed that the miraculous incident will be made into an “inspirational” film. Michael Scott, the CEO and co-founder of Pure Flix, lives in Thailand and was at the scene for several days during the drama, all the while taking notes for the upcoming movie. He told a reporter that, “The bravery and heroism I’ve witnessed is incredibly inspiring, so, yes, this will be a movie for us.”
-Canoe
★ Sarah Palin says she was “duped.” The former Republican vice-presidential candidate says she fell victim to comedian Sacha Baron Cohen during an interview for his upcoming Showtime series, “Who Is America?” Palin wrote that she and a daughter traveled across the country for what she thought was a legitimate interview. But she says Baron Cohen had “heavily disguised himself” as a disabled U.S. veteran in a wheelchair. She is challenging Baron Cohen and Showtime to donate proceeds from the show to a veterans’ charity.
(“Is nice. No?”)
-Canoe
★ Demi Moore is the victim in a major credit card fraud case. A man named David Read reported Moore’s AmEx card lost or stolen in March, and when the new one was delivered through FedEx… he somehow managed to pick it up. From there, he reportedly went on a spending spree, hitting a handful of Nordstrom and Saks Fifth Avenue stores in the L.A. area. Not exactly low-profile, and neither was his final tab. He allegedly ran up $169 thousand in charges over several weeks.
-TMZ
★ Tori Spelling claims her son Beau Dean was “stabbed” by four nails at a Four Seasons Hotel. Spelling shared an Instagram Story about injuries her 15-month-old son sustained while her family was staying at the luxury hotel. She wrote in the caption: “in the kids arcade room my 15 month old got stabbed by 4 exposed nails that shouldn’t have been there and all that was done was “Is he ok?”” Then she asked if he needs a tetanus shot. A rep for the Four Seasons said, “The team was in touch with Ms. Spelling throughout her stay. Out of respect for the privacy of our guests we do not share information about our guests or their time with us.”
-MSN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jared Leto, Alessia Cara ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Carey Mulligan, Kate the Chemist
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Paul Rudd, Florence Welch, Florence & the Machine, Jennie Vee & Joe Russo ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Tracy Morgan, Ike Barinholtz, Weezer ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): John Quinones
• “The Talk” (CBS): Terry Crews, Karrueche Tran
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Liv Tyler, Bernadette Peters, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Dwayne Johnson, Logic ( R )
• “Whistleblower” (CBS): Cases involving pediatric dental chain Kool Smiles and pharmaceutical giant Bristol-Myers Squibb are featured in the premiere.

SATURDAY-
• “FIFA World Cup” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Third place playoff: Belgium vs. England

SUNDAY-
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ashley Darby, D.L. Hughley
• “FIFA World Cup” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Final: France vs. Croatia
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Sherri Shepherd and family vs. Ian Ziering and family; and Tommy Chong and family vs. Derek Fisher, Gloria Govan and Govan’s family.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Cardi B – She and Offset are officially parents. They welcomed their daughter, Kulture Kiari Cephus, on Monday. Kiari is Offset’s real name, so looks like the baby was named after her daddy.
• Taylor Swift – A year after he was found guilty of groping her, radio host David Mueller says that she has “ruined” his life. Swift accused Mueller of touching her inappropriately at a concert in 2013, and now Mueller says he is “afraid to even talk to women”.
• Childish Gambino – Not only did he release two new songs on Wednesday, he has also been added to the lineup of the 2018 iHeartRadio Music Festival. That takes place on September 21 and 22 at T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas.
• Bruno Mars – was four songs into his set at Glasgow Green, Scotland, on Tuesday when an on-stage pyrotechnic malfunctioned and caused the lighting rig to be set ablaze. Eyewitnesses said that Mars stopped in the middle of his performance, quickly apologized to fans and hurried off stage, leaving fire crews to extinguish the fire.
• Kelly Clarkson – Can officially add ‘voice actress’ to her already lengthy resume. She is set to lead the voice cast for the upcoming animated “UglyDolls” movie. She’ll star as ‘Moxy’ in the film, set for a May, 2019 release.
• Queen – Late singer Freddie Mercury’s voice will appear in the upcoming Queen biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Producer Graham King has revealed that although Rami Malek plays the singer, he couldn’t replicate Mercury’s singing voice. The solution was to take recordings from Queen master tapes, with additional vocals recorded by Canadian singer Marc Martel.
• John Lennon – The U.S. Postal Service will release a new forever stamp bearing his likeness on Sept. 7. Designed to look like a 45 record sleeve, it will feature a 1974 photo that was shot for Lennon’s solo album, “Walls and Bridges”, on the roof of Lennon’s apartment building.
• Ozzy Osbourne – His wife Sharon is working on a movie about her early years with Ozzy, along with a book about “infidelity and what it does to people.” She says the movie is “definitely going to be a tearjerker. It’s not going to be a sex-and-drugs movie at all. Ozzy is so much more than that. I would hate to be a cliche.”
• Keith Urban – As a token of gratitude for her work with him on several songs on his “Graffiti U” album, he gifted Julia Michaels with a ‘grand’ housewarming gift: an upright piano.
• Luke Bryan – will soon have his own six-story restaurant, bar and entertainment venue in downtown Nashville. He has officially announced the soon-to-be-opened ‘Luke’s 32 Bridge Food + Drink’. It will feature 30,000 square feet of entertainment space, including eight bars, a multi-level rooftop bar, four stages and two restaurants: a rooftop sushi bar, and an eatery.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Skyscraper” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): While on assignment in China, a former FBI Hostage Rescue Team leader and U.S. war veteran finds the tallest, safest building in the world suddenly ablaze, and he’s been framed for it. Now he must find those responsible, clear his name and rescue his family, who are trapped inside. (Dwayne Johnson, Neve Campbell)
• “Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation” (PG, Animation/Comedy): While on a vacation with his family, Count Dracula makes a romantic connection. (Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg)
• “Eighth Grade” (R-Rated, Comedy): A teenager tries to survive the last week of her disastrous eighth-grade year before leaving to start high school. (Josh Hamilton, Daniel Zolghadri)
• “Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot” (R-Rated, Drama): On the rocky path to sobriety after a life-changing accident, a man discovers the healing power of art, willing his injured hands into drawing hilarious, often controversial cartoons. (Joaquin Phoenix, Jonah Hill)
• “Shock and Awe” (R-Rated, Drama): A group of journalists covering George Bush’s planned invasion of Iraq in 2003 are skeptical of the president’s claim that Saddam Hussein has “weapons of mass destruction.” (James Marsden, Jessica Biel)

FOOTBALL FOLLIES:
A goal in a soccer game can be a rare thing, which explains the over-the-top celebrations of the players, and the jubilant shouting of the word “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!” by the announcer. But did you ever notice the reaction of the player who has a chance to score, and he doesn’t? When this happens, they all do the same thing: raise their hands and place them on their heads. Apparently that’s the universal gesture meaning: “How the heck did I not score there?” Why do they do that? It has nothing to do with soccer and everything to do with the human psyche, according to people who study these things. Jessica Tracy, a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia, says that the gesture is a way of telling others that you are aware that you messed up, and that you’re sorry. It has also been pointed out that the gesture may be a function of self-comfort, as in “I need a hug and no one is close enough to give me one.” The same gesture is also commonly used by humans as a reaction to shock or to shame, both of which could be at play here as well. So the “hands-to-the-head while gazing skyward” gesture is really a way of communicating many different things at the same time. And if you don’t think it’s universal, consider this: If you’re cheering for his team, you probably did the exact same thing!
(And just like the player, I’ll probably need a couple stiff drinks after the game…)
(But did he have to do it when it was nil-nil? Did you see what I did there? A soccer term!)
(Now answer the REAL question: Why do they writhe on the ground like they’ve been shot when they’ve barely been touched?)
-NYTimes

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
A government worker in Madrid, Spain has been showing up faithfully for work for the last 10 years….but that’s about ALL he’s been doing. Carles Recio, an archives director in Valencia’s provincial government, has been banned from public posts for nine years after it was revealed that he had been absent from his $75,000-a-year job for more than a decade. Each morning, he would show up at his office, clock in, then head out again, before coming back at 4 p.m. to clock out. It was a routine he maintained for 10 years until last summer, when, after colleagues became suspicious, he was fired. Recio repeatedly claimed that he did most of his work “out of the office,” but investigations failed to turn up any record of work he claimed to have done over the decade.
(Great work if you can get it!)
(Yes, he is a slacker, but what about his co-workers? It took them 10 YEARS to start asking questions?)
(Or maybe too SMART for us to make up!)
-TheTelegraph

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 75% of dog owners say they won’t buy a new car unless it’s a good fit for their pooch.
• 50% of us say our partner’s snoring is the number one reason we don’t get a good night’s sleep.
• 57% of us have bunked out on the couch to get some peace and quiet.
• 15% of men and 28% of women say they have “a lot of style.”
• 23% of adults say they have “no style at all”.
• 6% of adults object to the concept of casual Friday.

BS CHRONOMETER 07.13.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [78] Patrick Stewart, Mirfield, England, TV actor (‘Jean Luc Picard’ in “Star Trek” 1987-1994)/movie actor (‘Professor Xavier’ in X-Men” movies) COMING UP…“The Kid Who Would Be King”, 2019

1942 [76] Harrison Ford, Chicago, IL, movie actor (“Star Wars” films, “Indiana Jones” movies) COMING UP…The Secret Life of Pets”, 2019

1946 [72] Cheech Marin, Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“Up in Smoke”, “Born in East L.A.”)

1957 [61] Cameron Crowe, Palm Springs CA, movie director-screenwriter (“Almost Famous”, “Jerry Maguire”)/musical documentary maker (“Pearl Jam Twenty”, “The Union”)

1962 [56] Tom Kenny, Syracuse NY, voice actor (“Spongebob Squarepants”, ‘Rabbit’ in “Winnie the Pooh”)

1969 [49] Ken Jeong, Detroit, MI, movie actor (‘Leslie Chow’ in “Hangover” movies), TV actor (“Ben Chang” in “Community” 2009-2015)

1988 [30] Steven R McQueen, LA CA, TV actor (‘Jimmy Borrelli’ on “Chicago Fire” since 2015, “Vampire Diaries” 2009-15)/grandson of legendary late actor Steve McQueen

1988 [30] Colton Haynes, Wichita KS, TV actor (“Arrow” since 2013, “Teen Wolf” 2011-17) COMING UP…”Bigger” 2018

SATURDAY-
Actress Jane Lynch (“Glee”) is 58; TV actor Matthew Fox (“Lost”) is 52; Country singer Jamey Johnson (“Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”) is 43; Musician Taboo (Black Eyed Peas-‘I Gotta Feeling’) is 43; Singer Dan Reynolds (Imagine Dragons- ‘Radioactive’) is 31; MMA Fighter Conor McGregor is 30

SUNDAY-
Actor Forest Whitaker (”The Last King of Scotland”) is 57; Actor Scott Foley (“Scandal”) is 56; Actor Brian Austin Green (“Beverly Hills 90210”) is 45; Actor Taylor Kinney (“Chicago Fire”) is 37

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Friday the 13th”, a bad day for those who suffer ‘triskaidekaphobia’ (fear of number 13) or ‘paraskevidekatriaphobia’ (fear of Friday the 13th). Every year has at least 1, but never more than 3. While the superstitious may avoid venturing outdoors, some sky-watchers may witness an event not seen on a Friday the 13th since 1974: A partial solar eclipse will be visible from the southeastern coast of Australia, Tasmania, and New Zealand’s Stewart Island.

• “Beans ‘n Franks Day”. (Tomorrow is ‘Evacuate the Studio Day’)

• “Embrace Your Geekness Day”, a great day to be a Geek … or to know a Geek. Some people view the term with a negative connotation. Are they jealous of your knowledge and skills? Of your pocket protector? Of your taped glasses? (And if you’re not one, embrace one!)

• “French Fries Day”. The ‘french’ in french fries has nothing to do with France, but the method of preparation. Food that’s chipped into pieces is said to be ‘frenched’. It’s thought that french fries most likely originated in Belgium.

• “Gruntled Workers Day”. We always hear about ‘disgruntled’ workers, but what about people who are happy with their jobs and can’t wait to go to work each day? Gruntled workers, this is your day … ya eager-beaver keeners.

• “Go West Day”, today is all about going west…at least until your GPS says, “Recalculating!”

SATURDAY-
• “Grand Marnier Day”, celebrating the cognac concoction that’s used in mixed drinks (ie: Cosmopolitan) and in desserts (ie: Crêpe Suzette). It was an 1880s French invention by one Alexandre Marnier-Lapostolle.

• “Shark Awareness Day”, to create awareness that these magnificent creatures are more threatened by people than people are by sharks. Worldwide demand for shark-fin soup and shark-tooth medallions combine to make sharks endangered, with millions killed each year.

• “Tape Measure Day”, The first recorded use of the tape measure goes back to the Romans, utilizing marked strips of leather. These days you can find some smaller than the palm of your hand or in lengths of 300+ feet.

SUNDAY-
• “Be a Dork Day”, an annual excuse to wear goofy clothing, not brush your teeth, eat yucky food, and trip over your own feet. (In other words, act normal)

• “Gummi Worm Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey candies first created by German company Trolli in 1981. ‘Gummi’ means ‘rubber’ in German.

• “Tapioca Day”, honoring that stuff you put in pudding that looks like fish eyes.

THIS DAY IN SHOWBIZ . . .
1923 [95) The ‘Hollywood’ Sign is officially dedicated in the hills above Hollywood, Los Angeles. It originally reads “Hollywoodland”, but the four last letters are dropped after renovation in 1949.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1985 [33] The “Live Aid” concerts take place in Philadelphia and London, raising over $70 million for African famine relief. Performers included: a reunited Led Zeppelin, a reunited The Who, plus Queen, U2, Paul McCartney, Tina Turner, Elton John, Mick Jagger, David Bowie, Eric Clapton, Bryan Adams, Madonna, and Phil Collins (Collins played in both locations, thanks to a Concord), and many more

2015 [03] 50 Cent files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection (coincidentally, the move comes just days after a jury rules he must pay $5 million to a woman suing over a sex-tape case) His current net worth? $20 million

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2016 [02] Theresa May is sworn in as British prime minister (she is the 2nd woman to become PM, following Margaret Thatcher)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1976 [42] ‘Longest Bagpipe Concert’, featuring 4 student pipers, ends after 100 (ungodly) hours (Salisbury, Rhodesia)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Yawning cools your brain.
✓ The color orange was named after the fruit, not the other way around.
✓ Many turkeys will sing (gobble) along to music if it’s played for them.
✓ The Vatican’s ATMs are in Latin.
✓ Ketchup used to be considered a medicine.
✓ From the time of their invention until about the 1600s, high heels were exclusively worn by men.
-BestLifeOnline

BS PUT A SONG THROUGH PUBERTY:
• Pimply The Best
• Awk-word Up
• Hormoney for Nothing
• Wet Dreams are Made of These
• Voice Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes.
• Let’s Not Talk About Sex
• Zit Me With Your Best Shot.
• The First Time Ever I Saw Your Facial Hair
• Smells Like Teen Armpit
• I’ve Got Hairs in Low Places
• Already did, it’s called Justin Bieber
-Twitter

Best of BS:
BS WAYS TO STRETCH YOUR FAMILY’S VACATION BUDGET THIS SUMMER:
• Start referring to your tool shed as the quote-unquote ‘summer house’.
• Take the kids to a car wash and tell them it’s Disney’s latest attraction, “The Land of Really Shiny Minivans”.
• When taking a car trip, keep freezer bags in the glove compartment in case you hit a deer.
• Take the kids to your new backyard attraction, “The Garden Slug Petting Zoo”.
• Save money at Hertz. With the right tools, ANY rental car can be a convertible.
• Go for a really long drive and wait for the kids to fall asleep. After they wake up, tell them they slept right through the Grand Canyon.
-First published in BS in 2016

BS PHONE STARTER:
What strange compliment have you received?

BS WEB GOODIE:
Dig anywhere in the world and find out where you’ll land!
https://www.antipodesmap.com/

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Imagine trying to learn English and finding out that ‘butt-dialing’ and a ‘booty-call’ are two different things.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Experts say when it’s sunny, we’re 50% more likely to do this in the car. What?
Answer: Sing

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

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