Thursday, July 14, 2016 – Edition: #5774

Get a Load of This Sheet!

★ A new report claims 35-year-old actor Tom Hiddleston is planning to soon propose to 26-year-old singer Taylor Swift . Yes, that’s right … propose. A source, understood to be close to Swift, has apparently confirmed that and says that Taylor would definitely say yes. From the moment those first photographs of the pair kissing on the beach outside Swift’s Rhode Island mansion appeared, however, there have been doubts about the veracity of the relationship. It is therefore worth taking any rumor of pending marriage with a hefty pinch of salt.
– “Us Magazine”
★ Logo TV has just green-lit the first-ever reality dating TV show to feature a cast of all gay men. It’s called “Finding Prince Charming”, and Lance Bass will host. The premise of the show sounds similar to “The Bachelor”: 13 men live together in 1 house and compete to find love with an “eligible gay heartthrob”. One contestant will be eliminated each week. It’s a bit surprising that it took so long for a show like this to get made, especially given the current appetite for TV dating competitions. “Finding Prince Charming” is set to premiere this Fall.
★ WWE wrestler-turned-actor John Cena wants to co-host “Live With Kelly” (ABC). The 39-year-old has been a guest on Kelly Ripa’s morning talk show and believes he could be the right guy to fill Michael Strahan’s seat following the former NFL player’s decision to leave to join ABC’s “Good Morning America” full-time. Cena says he’d bring new energy to the show. Quote: “I would be the first guy to be able to host in the morning and go fight at night.” Last night he hosted the 2016 “ESPY Awards”, becoming the first wrestler to do so.
– Bang Showbiz
★ Nielsen Music has released its data for the first half of 2016, and unsurprisingly Drake, Adele and Rihanna are ahead of the pack. Looking at the numbers for January 1st through June 30th, Drake’s hit album “Views” earned 2.6 million equivalent album units. Adele’s “25” sold 1.4 million copies in the first 6 months this year, with 1.7 million overall units earned. “Views”, “25” and Beyoncé’s “Lemonade” are the only albums so far this year to sell over 1 million copies. Overall album sales are down 14% compared to the same period last year, however, on-demand streaming continues to grow. The most-streamed song in the first half of the year is “Work” by Rihanna.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Parker Millsap (“The Very Last Day”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Keith Urban (“Ripcord”). Rerun.
• “Greatest Hits” (ABC) – Performances include Bret Michaels, Kenny Loggins, Miguel, Wilson Phillips, and Grace Potter.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Flo Rida f/Jason Derulo (“My House”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Gateway Drugs (“Magick Spells”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Gwen Stefani (“This is What the Truth Feels Like”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Parquet Courts (“Human Performance”).
• Pemberton Music Festival (Pemberton BC) – The lineup for this annual 4-day event includes Billy Idol, Cold War Kids, Cypress Hill, Halsey, Ice Cube, J Cole, The Killers, Miguel, Pearl Jam, Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa and many more.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – LA Reid (“Sing to Me: My Story of Making Music, Finding Magic, and Searching for Who’s Next”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Margo Price (“Midwest Farmer’s Daughter”).

• Ed Sheeran – “Thinking Out Loud” tops a new Spotify poll of the best ‘first dance’ songs for weddings. Etta James’ “At Last” is #2, followed by Ray LaMontagne’s “You Are the Best Thing”.
• Florida Georgia Line – They’ll continue to lead the ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart with “HOLY”, while Blake Shelton will recapture top spot on the ‘Top Country Albums’ chart with “If I’m Honest” for the week ending July 23rd.
• Meghan Trainor – Tonight her “Untouchable Tour” kicks off in Vancouver BC with dates set up to September 24th in Boston MA. Hailee Steinfeld is opening all gigs, with Common Kings joining the tour for select shows as well.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Frontman Anthony Kiedis tells “Classic Rock” magazine that David Bowie was “a true gentleman”, despite twice rejecting their requests for a collaboration. Quote: “He wrote us extremely thoughtful, kind letters explaining why he couldn’t.”
• Selena Gomez – She’s overtaken Justin Bieber for the most ‘liked’ picture in Instagram’s (brief) history. The 23-year-old has a staggering 89.1 million followers on the social media site. A snap of her wearing a red top while staring sultrily at the camera has garnered 4 million ‘likes’, overtaking Justin’s throwback picture of him and Selena kissing.
• Taylor Swift – TMZ is reporting that it’s true she and her ex, Calvin Harris, wrote “This Is What You Came For” together before their break-up. The track became a smash hit for Harris and Rihanna. The (then) couple agreed to keep the collaboration on the QT as they thought it would overshadow the song. Swift kept the publishing rights using the pseudonym Nils Sjoberg. At least, that’s how the story goes.
• Tim McGraw – He tells “Southwest: The Magazine” about his first impression: “Growing up, I could sing every Elvis song. I’d wrap a scarf around my neck, put a big hibiscus flower in my shirt pocket, and perform ‘Live From Hawaii’.”

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Expendabelles” – That’s the for-real title (so far) of Sylvester Stallone’s planned all-female version of his “Expendables” movies. The 70-year-old actor-screenwriter has been planning the action flick spinoff for 2 years. It will apparently shoot before the 4th film in the “Expendables” franchise. What aging action actresses should star in this?
• “Frankenstein” – Javier Bardem is in talks to play the iconic creature for Universal Pictures’ new film franchise, which is rebooting classic monster movies. The series includes a remake of “The Mummy” with Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe, which is slated for release next year. It is not clear as yet if ‘Frankenstein’ will also make an appearance in that film.
• “The Greatest Showman on Earth” – Hugh Jackman, Michelle Williams, Zac Efron, and Zendaya are starring in this movie musical which tells the true-life story of celebrated circus impresario PT Barnum. Jackman is portraying Barnum, who created the 3-ring Barnum & Bailey circus, while Efron is playing his right-hand man. The now-shooting film is due in July 2017.
• “Life Of the Party” – Melissa McCarthy’s next comedy is being directed by her husband Ben Falcone. Although the storyline is under wraps, it’s thought the film has a similar plot to the 1987 Rodney Dangerfield movie “Back to School”, in which a businessman enrols in college to help his son graduate. The film is due to start filming in Atlanta GA this August.
• “Lone Wolf & Cub” – “Fast & Furious” director Justin Lin has revealed he is ready to return to this adaptation as soon as his film “Star Trek Beyond” is released July 22nd. The 44-year-old director will then be giving his full attention to the bigscreen adaptation of the Manga comic book story. The comic was first published in 1970 and is widely regarded as a Manga classic.

Flying east is a pain for your brain, says a new University of Maryland study. Thus a flight from Europe to North America is easier than one from North America to Europe. The research suggests jet lag is not only based on distance traveled, but also the direction of travel. Thanks to our biological clock or circadian rhythm the brain responds better to a longer day achieved by flying west across time zones, than a shorter one achieved by flying east. For instance: a person flying west across 9 time zones can recover in less than 8 days, while a person flying east would need a little more than 12 days. The more time zones involved, the more evident the difference becomes. But overall, the study suggests the commonly held rule of expecting 1 day of recovery for each time zone crossed is bogus. (Can we get a doctor’s note for this?)

It’s an epic journey that is scheduled to end with the world’s largest Viking ship making a tour of the Great Lakes. Now the ship might have to make a U-turn. The ‘Draken Harald Harfagre’ – which has made stops in the Shetland Islands, Faroe Islands, Iceland, Greenland, and Newfoundland while repeating explorer Leif Eriksson’s 1,000-year-old crossing of the Atlantic from Norway – was set to appear at ports across the Great Lakes beginning today. But upon entering the St Lawrence Seaway, the crew has been informed it needs a $400-per-hour pilot for a total fee of at least $400,000, which it simply can’t afford. The crew says it believed the ship would be exempt from such a fee (it was to be given free passage through Canada) but the US Coast Guard requires ships carry a pilot. A petition calling for the fee to be waived has reached 8,000 signatures. (These are Vikings for Thor’s sake … invade!)
– “Minneapolis Star Tribune”

What roar? Dinosaurs may have been much more like modern birds than we knew … and not just because some had feathers. A new University of Texas study suggests that mighty dinosaurs of yore didn’t roar, contrary to every dinosaur movie you’ve ever seen. Instead, they made a decidedly less scary sound called a ‘closed-mouth vocalization’. Think of a dove cooing or perhaps an ostrich doing its grunting thing. Fossil records can’t prove it, though previous research meshes with the idea, including the belief that dinosaurs had air sacs instead of vocal chords. So it’s beginning to seem that not only were dinosaurs feathered, they may have had bulging necks and made booming, closed-mouth sounds. (If this leads to dinosaur chicken wings, we’re interested!)
– “UT News”

McDonald’s once created bubble-gum-flavored broccoli.
– “1,234 Quite Interesting Facts to Leave You Speechless”


1960 [56] Jane Lynch, Dolton IL, TV host (“Hollywood Game Night” since 2013)/TV actress (“Glee” 2009-15)

1975 [41] Jamey Johnson, Enterprise AL, country singer (“In Color”, “The Dollar”)/country songwriter (“Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”, “Give It Away”)

1975 [41] Taboo (Jaime Gomez), LA CA, hip-hop musician/MC/dancer (Black Eyed Peas-“I Gotta Feeling”, “Where Is the Love?”)

1986 [30] Dan Smith, London UK, alt-rock singer (Bastille-“Pompeii”, “Of the Night”) BS FACTOID: The band’s name derives from Smith’s birthday coinciding with Bastille Day.

1987 [29] Dan Reynolds, Las Vegas NV, indie rock singer (Imagine Dragons-“Demons”, “Radioactive”)

• “Bastille Day”, the national holiday of France that commemorates the beginning of the French Revolution in 1789, when patriots stormed the Bastille prison. Off with their heads!

• “Grand Marnier Day”, celebrating the cognac concoction that’s used in mixed drinks (ie: Cosmopolitan) and in desserts (ie: Crêpe Suzette). It was an 1880s French invention by one Alexandre Marnier-Lapostolle.

• “International Nude Day”, a serious celebration of the ‘naturist’ lifestyle.

• “Mac & Cheese Day”, an annual salute to the cheap food that sustains most people under 25.

• “Pick Blueberries Day”, or if you’re as lazy as we are, pick blueberries off the shelf at you local supermarket day. Either way, they’re good for you – high fiber, no fat, loaded with antioxidants.

• “Shark Awareness Day”, to create awareness that these magnificent creatures are more threatened by people than people are by sharks. Worldwide demand for shark-fin soup and shark-tooth medallions combine to make sharks endangered, with millions killed each year.

2012 [04] London’s West End closes it’s all-time longest-running musical, “Chicago”, after 15 years

2009 [07] Fans of the late Michael Jackson from all over the world congregate at London’s O2 arena, where he had been due to begin his run of 50 concerts

2015 [01] Las Vegas Coroner’s Office confirms that blues legend BB King has died of natural causes stemming from Alzheimer’s disease, not murder (2 of his daughters had alleged he was poisoned by long-time associates)

2011 [05] Neptune completes its 1st orbit of the Sun since the planet was discovered in 1846

2015 [01] NASA’s ‘New Horizons’ probe performs the 1st flyby of Pluto (launched in 2006 and travelling over 3 billion miles, it will continue transmitting data for the next 16 months)

[Fri] “Ghostbusters”; “The Infiltrator” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Be a Dork Day
[Fri] Give Something Away Day
[Sat Celebration Of the Horse Day
[Sat World Snake Day
[Sun] Ice Cream Day
[Sun] Lake Superior Day
This Week Is … Ventriloquism Week
This Month Is … Child-Centered Divorce Month


Here are a few of the worst regularly uttered by athletes and/or sportscasters …
✗ “We’re just taking it one game at a time.” (Oh, please! Why not one play or one second at a time?)
✗ “I care about winning the championship, not individual records.” (Until it’s renegotiation time.)
✗ “We just need to go out there and execute better.” (Is that a nose on the end of your face?)
✗ “She’s got great work ethic.” (Like anyone else playing at this level.)
✗ “This is what he brings to the table.” (BS translation: These are his skills.)
✗ “He gave 110 percent.” (If he can actually do that, then that’s 100% of what he can do.)
✗ “She came to play.” (That’s good because we came to watch.)
✗ “They’re playing within themselves.” (Is this even possible?)
✗ “They’re going to have to step it up to take it to the next level.” (Like anyone else.)
✗ “World champions.” (Don’t US-based leagues realize that they do not play teams worldwide?)
(And what trite statements drive you up the wall?)
– Adapted from

• Show Off … A child who is more talented than yours.
• Independent … How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
• Nymphomania … A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.
• Keychain … A device that permits us to lose several keys at one time.
• Enema … A goose with a gush.
• Immigration … The sincerest form of flattery.
• Amnesia … A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
• Recipe – Step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, with utensils you don’t own, to make a dish the dog won’t eat the rest of.
• Bargain … Something you cannot use, at a price you cannot resist.

☎ What word do people always mispronounce to your utter disdain? ‘Harass’ maybe?

If you’ve enjoyed this half as much as I have, then I’ve enjoyed this twice as much as you.

Question: More than half of adults say THIS is not appropriate to do until after a 3rd date.
Answer: Talk about politics.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

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