Monday, July 15, 2013        Edition: #5024


You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ 31-year-old Canadian actor Cory Monteith, who starred as ‘Finn Hudson’ on FOX-TV’s “Glee”, was found dead in his Pacific Rim Hotel room in Vancouver on Saturday. Police and paramedics found no signs of foul play and the cause of death was not immediately apparent according to the coroner. Monteith had talked recently about past problems with substance abuse after being treated at a rehab facility earlier this year. Authorities are so far refusing to reveal what was found in the room. An autopsy is planned for today.
– Reuters.com
✳  46-year-old pregnant actress Halle Berry and her boyfriend Olivier Martinez (47) have wed in an intimate ceremony in his native France. They exchanged vows on Saturday at the Chateau des Conde in the town of Vallery before just 60 guests. The outdoor wedding reception was highlighted by fireworks. The twosome met in 2010 on the set of the film flop “Dark Tide”. Berry previously had a relationship with French Canadian model Gabriel Aubry; Martinez with Australian pop star Kylie Minogue.
– WENN.com
✳ “Harry Potter” author JK Rowling has secretly posed as a retired military policeman to write a crime novel that’s been hailed as one of the best debut detective novels in years. She wrote “The Cuckoo’s Calling” under the name Robert Galbraith. Her cover was only blown when the “The Times of London” newspaper became suspicious that such an assured piece of writing could be the work of a first-time novelist. The 47-year-old says she’d hoped to keep the secret because becoming Robert Galbraith was a ‘liberating experience’. A 2nd novel in the series is due to be published next year.
– “Sunday Times”
✳ Michael Jackson’s troubled daughter Paris has finally left hospital more than a month after her apparent suicide attempt. The 15-year-old was hospitalized June 5th and spent several weeks under the care of doctors at the UCLA Medical Center. While it’s confirmed she’s left the hospital, reports suggest she hasn’t returned home but instead been transfered to a residential treatment center. A source in the know says she will continue to receive help to resolve issues.
– People.com
And British actor Idris Elba (“Luther”, Season 3 debut Thursday; “The Wire” 2002-08) has spoken out to dismiss growing speculation he’ll replace Daniel Craig as the next ‘James Bond’ when Craig’s 5-picture deal expires. “Skyfall” actress Naomie Harris is one who fueled the speculation, claiming Elba had met with producer Barbara Broccoli. However, Elba is adamant stories about secret meetings and contracts is just gossip. Quote: “It’s just a rumor … but what a compliment! I’m flattered by the notion of it. I’m also encouraged that audiences are being more color-blind these days.”
– “Daily Mirror”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Amazing Race Canada” (CTV) – Debut of an all-Canuck version of the competition show that’s run 22 seasons in the US and has been the top-rated reality show in Canada. Olympic gold-medalist Jon Montgomery hosts this 12th international version of the format.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Jake Owen (“Barefoot Blue Jean Night”).
• “The iHeartRadio Ultimate Pool Party” (CW) – Highlights of a 2-day music event at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach hotel. Performers include: Afrojack, Ke$ha, Icona Pop, Pitbull.
NET: http://poolparty.iheart.com/go/iheartradio-pool-party/
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ciara (“Ciara”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Kitten (“Cut It Out”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Adam Ant (“Adam Ant Is the BlueBlack Hussar Marrying the Gunner’s Daughter”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Valerie Simpson (“Dinosaurs Are Coming”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – LeAnn Rimes (“Spitfire”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Johnnyswim (“Heart Beats”).
• “2013 Home Run Derby” (ESPN) – Pitbull does a special on-field performance prior to the annual slugfest, part of “MLB All-Star Week” at Citi Field in Queens NY.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Travis Tritt (“The Calm After …”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arcade Fire – October 29th is the official release date for the follow-up to their Grammy-winning album “The Suburbs”. Still no title revealed.
• Daft Punk – They’ve signed to endorse their own brand of … condoms. Likely a good idea if they intend to “Get Lucky”.
• Jay-Z – Last week he performed “Picasso Baby” off his new album “Magna Carta Holy Grail” at NYC’s Pace Gallery over and over again … for 6 hours. The stunt was a salute to performance artist Marina Abramovic, who flitted around him during the feat.
• Lady Gaga – She’s announced on her Facebook page that her highly anticipated new album “ARTPOP” will be released on November 11th.
• Melissa Etheridge – Her former partner, Tammy Lynn Michaels, is fighting to stop the singer/songwriter from taking their 6-year-old twins on tour with her. A court date has been scheduled for next month to review the case.
• Nirvana – A re-release of their final album “In Utero” is on the way in September though no official details have yet been released.
• Tony Braxton – She and Babyface will re-team up for an album of duets this Fall, according to “Billboard”. They most notably collaborated on Braxton’s 1996 album “Secrets”.

TODAY IS T-DAY:
Hostess, which went bankrupt last year but is back up and running under new owners, relaunches its famous Twinkies and other snack cakes on store shelves today. The company says the cakes will taste the same but that the boxes will now bare the tag line ‘The Sweetest Comeback In the History of Ever’. A coinciding social media campaign encourages people to share their love of Twinkies and other snack cakes such as CupCakes, Donettes, and Ding Dongs. (“How do I love thee, Ding Dong? Let me count the calories …”)
– “USA Today”

MISHEARD LYRICS:
A new listing of popular songs with so-called ‘mondegreens’, misheard or misinterpreted lyrics, compiled in a new survey by Spotify UK …
✗ Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams” (“Sweet dreams are made of cheese/Who am I to disagree?”)
✗ Rihanna’s “We Found Love” (“We found Dove in a soapless place …”).
✗ kd lang’s “Constant Craving” (“Can’t … stand … gravy …”).
✗ Aerosmith’s “Dude Looks Like a Lady” (“Do it like a lady …”).
✗ Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On a Prayer” (“It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not …”).
There’s an entire website full of these here …
NET: http://www.kissthisguy.com
– BBC.co.uk

SHOPPING IT:
A new website is offering an ambient coffee-shop soundtrack in a bid to boost your workday creativity. Why? Research shows it’s difficult to be creative in a quiet space but the mix of calm and commotion in an environment like a coffee house is proven to help get creative juices flowing. The free soundtrack features whirring espresso machines, clanking plates & cutlery, flapping newspapers, and the dialogue of café patrons. (Try setting up the [Your Show] Fantasy Café.)
NET: http://coffitivity.com
– TheGlobeandMail.com

ROYAL ODDS:
It’s mayhem outside St Mary’s Hospital in London this week as the media awaits Kate, Duchess of Cambridge to give birth to the new 3rd-in-line to the British throne any day now. Latest odds from UK bookmaker Paddy Power on what will be the choice of name …
• Boy: George (9/1); James (10/1); Charles/Francis/Louis (40/1); Hashtag (500/1).
• Girl: Alexandra (5/4); Charlotte (6/1); Elizabeth/Victoria (7/1); Diana (10/1); Pocahontas (500/1).
– NationalPost.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
Ampersand (&), now commonly used as a plus sign, was once an actual letter which followed the letter ‘Z’ in the Latin alphabet.
– “Times of London”

BS CHRONOMETER 07.15.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1961 [52] Forest Whitaker, Longview TX, movie actor (2007 Oscar-“The Last King of Scotland”, “Panic Room”)/movie director (“First Daughter”, “Hope Floats”)

1971 [42] Jim Rash, Charlotte NC, TV actor (‘Dean Pelton’ on “Community” since 2009)/movie actor (“The Way, Way Back”)

1972 [41] Scott Foley, Kansas City KS, TV actor (‘Henry Goodwin’ on “The Goodwin Games” 2013, “Grey’s Anatomy” 2010-11)/ex-Mr Jennifer Garner (2000-04)

1973 [40] John Dolmayan, Beirut, Lebanon, rock drummer (System Of a Down-“Spiders”, “Innervision”)

1973 [40] Brian Austin Green, Van Nuys CA, TV actor (“Anger Management” since 2012, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” 2008-09)/wed to actress Megan Fox since 2010

1977 [36] Ray Toro, Jersey City NJ, rock guitarist (My Chemical Romance [2001-13]-“Welcome To the Black Parade”, “Famous Last Words”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Be a Dork Day”, an annual excuse to wear goofy clothing, don’t brush your teeth, eat yucky food, and trip over your own feet. (In other words, act normal.)

• “Get Out Of the Doghouse Day”. In trouble with someone you know and care about? This is the day when anyone can get forgiveness … sorta like a ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card. Observed annually on the 3rd Monday in July.

• “Global Hug Your Kids Day”, as if you need an excuse. Also observed annually on the 3rd Monday in July.
NET: http://www.hugyourkidstoday.com

• “Gummi Worm Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey candies that are always good for grossing out girls. They were first created by the German company Trolli in 1981.
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/gummi-worm-day

• “Respect Canada Day” as declared by the US-based ‘Wellness Permission League’, a day to ‘show we know it’s not some strange northern province of America’. (In Canada, this is known as ‘Up Yours Day’.)

• “St Swithun’s Day”, celebrated worldwide in honor of the 7th-century Bishop of Winchester. According to legend, if it rains on St Swithun’s Day it will rain for the next 40 days. If it is clear, no rain will fall for 40 days. (Sort of a saintly Groundhog Day.)

• “Tapioca Day”, honoring that stuff you put in pudding that looks like fish eyes.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [04] “Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince” opens in movie theaters at 12:01 am ($934 million in worldwide box office)

2011 [02] “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2” (last in the series) opens in movie theaters ($1.34 billion in worldwide box office)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1999 [14] The Rolling Stones report income of $337 million over the past 2 years, a result of 147 concerts in front of close to 6 million fans

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2003 [10] Mozilla Foundation is established, a nonprofit organization devoted to keeping the Internet ‘open source’ (developer of the ‘Firefox’ web browser, ‘Thunderbird’ email software)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2007 [06] 125-year-old Philadelphia Phillies become first Major League Baseball team to lose 10,000 games as St Louis Cardinals beat them 10-2 (Phillies established in 1883 as ‘Philadelphia Quakers’, later called the ‘Philadelphia Blue Jays’ in the mid-1940s)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] MLB Baseball All-Star Game (NYC)
[Tues] “Whose Line is it Anyway?” debuts (CW)
[Tues] “Perfect Score” debuts (CW)
[Tues] Fresh Spinach Day
[Wed] “Turbo” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] “Legends Of the Summer” stadium tour begins (Toronto)
[Thurs] “Country Thunder” begins (Twin Lakes WI)
[Thurs] International Mandela Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Baby Food Week / Everybody Deserves a Massage Week / Rabbit Week / Restless Leg Syndrome Education & Awareness Week / Sports Cliché Week / Ventriloquism Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS PHRASES YOU WOULDN’T WANT USED AT YOUR FUNERAL:
• ‘found by cadaver dogs’
• ‘hopped up on goofballs’
• ‘minutes from rescue’
• ‘prehensile tail’
• ‘autoerotic asphyxiation’
– First published in “BS” 2009.

BS SIGNS YOU’RE VISITING A REALLY BAD NATIONAL PARK:
✗ Bears not only take your picnic basket at gunpoint, but also make off with your Ford F-150.
✗ Your view of breath-taking scenery is blocked by reactor units #2 and #3.
✗ Malnourished bears hold up placards reading, “Will caper amusingly for food.”
✗ Waterfalls seem to lose some of their majestic power whenever someone flushes a toilet.
✗ Park store offers “Solitudes” tapes featuring the sound of mosquitoes in the wild.
✗ Forest Ranger tower dwarfed by surrounding tents.
– First published in “BS” 1997.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which vegetable has the fewest calories?
a. Celery.
b. Cucumber.
c. Radish. [CORRECT. 5 medium-sized radishes contain a total of just 4 calories.]
d. Beef.
– FitSugar.com

BS WEB GOODIE:
Come on Sydney, you can do better than this! A masked superhero whose aim is … better street lighting?
NET: http://bit.ly/130Rej4

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ A less-and-less used government-run postal service … a waste of money in the digital age?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
An ‘unusual child’ is one who asks questions that parents can answer.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average woman begins to regret THIS after 1 hour and 10 minutes.
Answer: Wearing high-heels.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The squeaky wheel also gets replaced.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Jason Gunn @ Classic Hits, Christchurch New Zealand; Brandon Brewer @ Country 102.9 [KHUT] Wichita KS; Reid Boyden @ More FM, Kapiti, New Zealand.


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