Wednesday, July 16, 2014        Edition: #5263

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★ ‘Batman’ will have a sidekick again by December, whether it’s his resurrected son or someone else by his side. Today’s DC Comics issue, “Robin Rises: Omega No. 1”, begins an emotional, planet-hopping, action-packed journey for the ‘Dark Knight’ that evolves into the return of a ‘Robin’ to the DC Universe. It just might be ‘Damian Wayne’, the previous ‘Robin’ – and ‘Batman’s kid – who was killed earlier in the series; or it could be someone completely new. December’s “Robin Rises: Alpha issue”, will act as a conclusion of the storyline. (Somewhere a screenwriter is already working this up for a future feature film.)
★ “The Originals” are heading from TV to book form. Publisher Harlequin has signed a deal to publish 3 books based on the CW TV show that follows a vampire family over hundreds of years. The books will be released in February, April, and June of 2015, and will consist of entirely new stories about the vampire characters. “The Originals”, a spin-off of the popular show “The Vampire Diaries”, centers around a vampire family that returns to settle in the city it helped build, New Orleans. The program’s 2nd season premieres October 6th. (Are we not tiring of vampire stories? We say they totally bite.)
★ A parody website’s claim that Netflix had canceled its hit show “Orange Is the New Black” has led to a massive Twitter storm of shock and outrage. Many of those reacting clearly did so solely based on the article’s headline on Empire News, a humor site like The Onion that creates fake news. The item claimed Netflix had axed the show because its creator refused to put in more male leads (in a women’s prison!?!?). Netflix has jumped in to reassure fans, encouraging them to follow production of the upcoming Season 3 via Instagram. (An elaborate promotion?)
★ And a rep has confirmed that MTV reality star Jenni Farley has given birth to her 1st child. The former “Jersey Shore” star (aka JWoww) and her fiancé Roger Mathews have welcomed a baby daughter (aka ‘guidette’) named Meilani Alexandra Mathews. Farley, who first announced her pregnancy last December, is the 3rd member of the “Jersey Shore” cast to become a parent, after Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi and (a surprised) DJ Pauly D who fathered a daughter after a fling with a Las Vegas waitress. (‘Woww’ upside down is ‘Mmom’.)

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Hopefuls audition in NYC and Los Angeles.
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – TI (“Paperwork”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Fergie (Black Eyed Peas). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Spoon (“They Want My Soul”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC)– Tinariwen (“Emmaar”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Kristeen Young w/Dave Grohl & Pat Smear (“The Knife Shift”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Broods (“Evergreen”, out August 22nd).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – American Authors (“Oh What a Life”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV2) – The dancers perform and face elimination; guest judge Misty Copeland; A Great Big World performs.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Puss N Boots (“No Fools, No Fun”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – LeAnn Rimes (“Spitfire”).

• Ariana Grande – Despite being a ratings hit her Nickelodeon TV show “Sam & Cat” has been canceled after just 1 season amid rumors of a rift with co-star Jennette McCurdy. Ariana also now has a blossoming music career to keep her busy. The final new episode airs Thursday.
• Garth Brooks – Negotiations have failed and he’s announced that all shows slated for Dublin, Ireland at the end of July are off. Dublin city council refused to grant permits for 5 concerts on consecutive nights at Croke Park. Ticketmaster will issue refunds starting on Thursday.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s going back to the ’60s for the cover of his forthcoming album “The Big Revival”. A multi-colored school bus from his “American Kids” video dominates the cover with an upright bass lying on its side nearby. The new album drops September 23rd.
• KISS – The veteran rockers will play a 9-date Las Vegas residency this Fall. The show, “Kiss Rocks Vegas”, will play The Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino beginning November 5th. Makes sense … those who followed the band as youngsters are now pushing 50.
• Norah Jones – For her new side-project as part of the country-roots trio Puss N Boots (“No Fools, No Fun”), she wants fans to experience her music in an entirely differently way. Quote: “I think people should only listen to this album while masturbating.”
• Radiohead – Guitarist Jonny Greenwood tells BBC 6 Music that they’ll begin rehearsing and recording their 9th album in September. In related news, Radiohead drummer Phil Selway plans to release his 2nd solo album in October.
• Tori Amos – Tonight the singer-songwriter launches the North American leg of her “Unrepentant Geraldines” tour in Vancouver BC. It wraps up in Miami FL on August 24th.

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Budtenders’ – Experts working now-legal marijuana retail outlets in Colorado and Washington state. Their job is to be knowledgeable about pot varieties and strengths, and to offer suggestions for newbie marijuana buyers. (“Should I smoke this or vaporize?”)
• ‘Fauxsumerism’ – A mysterious trend seen among today’s Millennials (people under 30). The phenomenon refers to browsing for things you won’t necessarily buy. It’s a form of transaction-free online window-shopping that’s considered an endless source of fun.
• ‘Precrastinator’ – A person who performs tasks sooner than they need to be done, particularly as a way of delaying a bigger or more stressful task. (“He precrastinated by filling all the salt and pepper shakers instead of fixing dinner.”)

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 95% of frequent flyer miles collectors have never used any of them.
• 80% of people struck by lightening are men.
• 75% of women have jump-started a car.
• 64% of parents admit they escape to a bathroom for ‘me time’.
• 56% of web surfers skip all online video ads.
• 10% of married guys have tried on their wife’s bra … and never told anyone.

Will Samsung’s next phone, the Galaxy Note 4, have an iris scanner? The company is hinting that the technology could be used to unlock devices and make payments. A teaser campaign on Twitter shows a phone with an eye scanner showing on the display as well as a list of payments for grocery, utility, and phone bills. Samsung is expected to unveil the Note 4 in September during Berlin’s IFA tech show. Meantime, a company called EyeLock has created a dongle to connect to any computer that’s fitted with an iris scanner. The  $250 ‘Myris’ device can register up to 5 different users. Each begins by scanning their eyes to take an image of their respective irises. These unique images are then translated into an encrypted code so that users can simply scan their eyes for immediate and secure access in future. (Passwords are about to become passé.)

The ‘Yo’ mobile app is used to alert Israelis about rocket attacks. (“Yo, incoming!!!!”)
– “Independent”


1943 [71] Jimmy Johnson, Port Arthur TX, sports analyst (“Fox NFL Sunday”)/former NFL coach (Miami Dolphins, 2 Super Bowls-Dallas Cowboys)

1952 [62] Stewart Copeland, Alexandria, Egypt, classic rock drummer (Police-“Every Breath You Take”, “King of Pain”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1967 [47] Will Ferrell, Irvine CA, movie actor (“Anchorman” movies, “Old School”)/TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 1995-2002)  COMING UP: “Welcome to Me” later this year; “Get Hard” in 2015.

1979 [35] Jayma Mays, Bristol TN, TV actress (‘Debbie’ on “The Millers” since 2013, “Glee” since 2009)/movie actress (“Paul Blart: Mall Cop”, “The Smurfs” movies)  UP NEXT: “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” (2015).

1990 [24] James Maslow, La Jolla CA, TV actor (“Big Time Rush” 2009-13)/TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” 2014)boy-band pop singer (BTR-“Windows Down”, “Boyfriend”)

• “Closet Space Appreciation Day”, a day of awareness of that giant double-door or walk-in closet that allows you to store so much (useless) stuff.

• “Fresh Spinach Day”, an occasion to make use of some healthful leafy greens in your favorite recipes. Spinach & sharp cheese omelette, anyone?

1994 [20] Doomed 26-year-old model/actress Anna Nicole Smith marries 89-year-old multi-millionaire J Howard Marshall II (when he croaks later on, lawsuits ensue)

1999 [15] Magazine publisher John F Kennedy Jr (“George”), his wife Carolyn, and sister-in-law Lauren are killed when the plane he’s piloting crashes off the coast of Martha’s Vineyard MA

1994 [20] The Three Tenors (Luciano Pavarotti, Plácido Domingo, José Carreras) perform for 56,000 in LA’s Dodger Stadium and an estimated TV audience of 1.3 billion worldwide

2005 [09] The Vocal Group Hall of Fame in Wildwood NJ inducts The Angels, Brooklyn Bridge, Chiffons, Chi-Lites, Del-Vikings, Fleetwood Mac, Hilltoppers, Mel-Tones, Neville Bros, Pointer Sisters, Rascals, Righteous Bros, Sons Of the Pioneers, Tymes (who knew this existed?)

1981 [33] Shukuni Sasaki spins a record 72 plates on poles simultaneously (only he can understand what it’s like trying to hold this show together!)

[Thurs] Air Conditioning Day
[Fri] “Planes: Fire & Rescue”; “The Purge: Anarchy”; “Sex Tape” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Caviar Day
[Fri] Nelson Mandela International Day
[Sat] Television Critics Association Awards (LA CA)
This Week Is … Avoid Boredom Week
This Month Is … Herbal Prescription Awareness Month


For those times when parental energy is at its lowest, these games to keep kids busy require virtually no effort. When done correctly, they can even allow you to catch a quick nap …
✓ Put all the sunglasses and hats on Mommy.
✓ Take off Daddy’s socks.
✓ Put Mommy’s socks on Daddy.
✓ Try to lift Daddy.
✓ Put the cats on Mommy.
✓ Human Body Tower (aka The Sandwich).
✓ Pull Daddy around on a sleeping bag.
✓ Breath-holding competition.
✓ Mommy’s a giant conga drum (think of it as acupressure therapy).
✓ The Wind Monster (just blow on them; if you really commit, you might pass out and that’s the same as sleeping).

☎ What do you do during the 1st hour of your day that helps make you successful?

Which area of your body has the most bacteria?
a. Your tongue.
b. The spaces between your toes. [CORRECT]
c. Your underarms.
– “Men’s Health”

I once won an argument with a woman … in this dream I had.

Question: You’ll probably lose 2 of THESE over your lifetime.
Answer: Inches of height.

Everybody is ignorant, just on different subjects.

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