July 17, 2015

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Friday, July 17, 2015        Edition: #5497

Can You Believe This Sheet?

★ 29-year-old Amber Heard has now been charged for smuggling her Yorkies into Australia. The actress, wife of Johnny Depp, is said to have illegally brought ‘Pistol’ and ‘Boo’ into Oz in May, after which the Agriculture Minister threatened to have them put down. Yesterday the Commonwealth Department of Public Prosecutions announced that Heard has been formally charged with 2 counts of illegally importing animals and 1 count of producing a false document. The importation charge alone carries a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison and a fine of $102,000. She’s been issued a summons to appear in court September 7th.
– ContactMusic.com
★ Amazon Studios has announced it’s acquired Spike Lee’s new film as its first ‘Amazon Original Movie’. The film, with the working title “Chi-Raq”, focuses on inner-city violence in Chicago IL. Filming on the production wrapped last week, with newcomer Teyonah Parris starring in the lead role. The supporting cast includes Angela Bassett, Jennifer Hudson, John Cusack, Nick Cannon, Samuel L Jackson, and Wesley Snipes. No release date has been confirmed. With its original movies, Amazon Studios’ plan is to release them theatrically first and then debut them on Amazon.com’s ‘Prime Instant Video’ 4-to-8 weeks later.
– FOX Business
★ Former “Glee” star Chris Colfer (‘Kurt Hummel’) has plenty to be gleeful about when it comes to his writing career. His “The Land of Stories: Beyond the Kingdoms” is a #10 best-seller, his highest debut so far. “Beyond the Kingdoms” is the 4th book in the series for young readers about twins who have magical encounters with the fairytale characters they’ve read about. 25-year-old Colfer is currently on a multi-city book tour that ends Saturday in Los Angeles. Quote: “I did nothing but watch TV and movies when I was a kid, and I think it’s really what made me a good storyteller.”
– USAToday.com
★ The John F Kennedy Center For the Performing Arts in Washington DC has announced that filmmaker George Lucas, country-rock band The Eagles, singer-songwriter Carole King, actress/singer Rita Moreno, conductor Seiji Ozawa, and actress Cicely Tyson are receiving this year’s ‘Kennedy Center Honors’. The awards recognize individuals whose impact and genius have left an indelible mark on culture. The 6 honorees will be fêted at a star-studded gala in December. A 2-hour recorded CBS-TV special of the event airs December 29th.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ And despite recently announcing their split after 10 years of marriage, 42-year-old Ben Affleck and 43-year-old Jennifer Garner are still occasionally wearing their wedding rings … for the sake of their children. They have 2 daughters, Violet (9) and Seraphina (6), and 3-year-old son Samuel. Garner is said to have pulled the plug on the marriage because she’s fed up with Affleck’s passion for gambling and – according to an insider – “didn’t want to spend another year of her life being miserable”. While the former couple are trying to remain cordial, they’re reportedly only communicating by text message.
– “Us Weekly”

• Forecastle Festival (Louisville KY) – The 3-day event is headlined by Modest Mouse, My Morning Jacket, Sam Smith, and Widespread Panic. Founded in 2002, the homegrown festival draws thousands to Louisville’s Waterfront Park.
NET: http://forecastlefest.com
• “Hell on Wheels” (AMC) – Saturday the Western drama gets ready to ride into the sunset with its 5th and final season debut.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Everclear (“Black Is the New Black”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Gap Dream (“Gap Dream”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Tonight Tamia (“Love Life”). Rerun.
• Latitude Festival (Suffolk UK) – The 10th annual 3-day event in Henham Park is headlined by Alt-J, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, and Portishead.
NET: http://www.latitudefestival.com
• Pitchfork Music Festival (Chicago IL) – The taste-making music publication offers up its 10th festival in Union Park, headlined by hometown heroes Wilco, plus Chance the Rapper, Chvrches, Future Islands, Sleater-Kinney and more.
NET: http://pitchforkmusicfestival.com
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Today Keyshia Cole (“Point of No Return”). Rerun.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight singer-songwriter JD Souther (“Tenderness”).
• “Today” (NBC) – This morning Alan Jackson (“Angels & Alcohol”, released today, the 15th studio album of his 25-year career).
• “Tut” (Spike) – Sunday Ben Kingsley & Avan Jogia star in this 3-night, 6-hour dramatization of the reign of legendary Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamun.
• “Welcome to Sweden” (NBC) – Sunday the 2nd season debut of the Amy Poehler-produced sitcom about a couple (Greg Poehler & Josephine Bornebusch) who’ve resettled in Sweden.
• “Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp” (Netflix) – Today the debut of an 8-episode, half-hour prequel series to the 2001 cult comedy film “Wet Hot American Summer”. Dozens of characters are played by an ensemble cast, many of them big names (Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, Chris Pine, Jon Hamm, Kristen Wiig, Paul Rudd, even Weird Al Yankovic).

• Arcade Fire – They’ve made a feature film entitled “The Reflektor Tapes”, described as a unique cinematic experience at the crossroads of documentary, music, art, and personal history. The movie will have a limited release in theaters worldwide on September 24th.
• Chris Brown – His former partner Nia Guzman is worried their baby daughter isn’t safe with him after his aunt was held by burglars at gunpoint in his LA home during the early hours of Wednesday. She says she doesn’t want 13-month-old daughter Royalty exposed to the ‘dangerous environment’. The robbery is still being investigated by LAPD.
• 5 Seconds Of Summer – Their “Rock Out With Your Socks Out” tour kicks off tonight in Las Vegas, with dates announced up to September 13th in West Palm Beach FL.
• Kanye West – Rapper Pitbull and Serena Ryder are joining him to perform at the closing ceremony of the Pan Am Games in Toronto ON July 26th. There have been complaints that a Canadian headliner should have been hired. (We’re guessing Drake is unavailable.)
• Lana Del Rey – The 30-year-old says her new album is inspired by jazz great Miles Davis, who died 24 years ago. Her eclectic 14-track “Honeymoon” is due for release in September.
• Milky Chance – The German duo have added a string of Summer tour dates to their schedule, beginning Saturday in Ottawa ON and continuing through August 11th in Portland OR.
• Miranda Lambert – After vocal cord issues forced her to postpone her Calgary Stampede appearance she’s back on the road touring, tonight in Minot ND.
• Neil Young – He’s announced he will no longer allow his music to be streamed, not because of any dispute over royalties but because of “the worst (sound) quality in the history of broadcasting or any other form of distribution”.
• Nicki Minaj – Her “Pinkprint” tour launches tonight in Dallas TX and lands in major markets across the US & Canada before finishing up August 19th in Edmonton AB. Support acts along the way include Meek Mill and Rae Sremmurd.
• Tame Impala – Today the Australian indie rockers release their new album “Currents”. A track titled “Eventually” has already debuted online.

• “Ant-Man” ( PG-13 Action Sci-Fi ) – Armed with a super-suit and the astonishing ability to shrink in scale but increase in strength, con-man ‘Scott Lang’ (Paul Rudd, in his first superhero role) must embrace his inner hero and help his mentor plan and pull off a heist that will save the world. Co-stars Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly.
NET: http://marvel.com/antman#/antview
• “Irrational Man” ( R-Rated Mystery Drama ): In Woody Allen’s latest, a tormented philosophy professor finds a will to live when he commits an existential act. Stars Joaquin Phoenix, Emma Stone (who also appeared in Allen’s “Magic In the Moonlight” last year), and Parker Posey. Shot in Rhode Island.
NET: http://sonyclassics.com/irrationalman
• “Trainwreck” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Comedian Amy Schumer’s semi-autobiographical movie centers around a commitment-phobic career woman who has to finally face her fears when she meets a good guy. Director Judd Apatow. Co-stars Bill Hader, Brie Larson, Colin Quinn. Cameos from Daniel Radcliffe, LeBron James, Marisa Tomei, Matthew Broderick, Method Man.
NET: http://www.trainwreckmovie.com
• Opening in limited release: ” The Look of Silence” (Documentary); “Mr Holmes” (Crime Mystery); and “The Stanford Prison Experiment” (Drama).

✗ “You’re having a baby!”
✗ “Wow! How did that happen?”
✗ “Was it planned?”
✗ “It’s about time.”
✗ “That’s going to hurt.”
✗ “You already look exhausted.”
✗ “Well, you’re definitely eating for two.”
✗ “How are you planning on losing all that weight after?”
✗ “Enjoy your last few weeks of freedom.”
✗ “Any news?”
– Adapted from “Metro”

Playing “Tetris” for 12 minutes the day after a traumatic event can reduce flashbacks.
– “Smithsonian Magazine”


1935 [80] Donald Sutherland, Saint John NB, still-working movie actor (“Hunger Games” movies)/TV actor (“Crossing Lines” since 2013)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2011)  COMING UP: “American Horror Story: Hotel”, premiering in October.

1947 [68] Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla Parker Bowles Windsor), Plumpton UK, Prince Charles’ longtime mistress whom he finally wed in 2005

1954 [61] Angela Merkel (Kasner), Hamburg, Germany, 8th German Chancellor since 2005/listed by some sources as ‘World’s Most Powerful Woman’

1960 [55] Mark Burnett, London UK, really rich TV producer (“Survivor”, “The Voice”)

1976 [39] Luke Bryan, Leesburg GA, country singer (“Kick the Dust Up”, “I See You”)

1979 [36] Mike Vogel, Abington PA, TV actor (‘Dale Barbara’ on “Under the Dome” since 2013)

1985 [30] Tom Cullen, Aberystwyth, Wales, TV actor (‘Lord Gillingham’ on “Downton Abbey” since 2013)

Brit billionaire Richard Branson (Virgin Group) is 65; Rock musician John Hermann (Widespread Panic) is 53; Movie actor Vin Diesel (“Fast & Furious”) is 48; Recording artist MIA (“Paper Planes”) is 40; Movie/TV actress Kristen Bell (“Frozen”) is 35; TV actor Michiel Huisman (“Game of Thrones) is 34.

Classic rock guitarist Brian May (Queen) is 68; Indie-rock drummer Jason McGerr (Death Cab for Cutie) is 41; Movie/TV actor Benedict Cumberbatch (“The Imitation Game”) is 39; TV actress Erin Cummings (“Astronaut Wives Club”) is 38; TV actor Jared Padalecki (“Supernatural”) is 33.

• “Eid-Al-Fitr” (‘eed-ul-FIT-tur’), the 3-day Islamic feast that celebrates the end of the month-long “Ramadan” fast. Scanning the sky for the crescent of the new moon to usher in “Eid” is an Islamic ritual that’s over 1,400-years-old.
• “Mosquito Festival” in Berezniki, Russia. The 3rd annual 3-day bash in the Ural mountains includes music, dancing, and a man dressed as a giant mosquito. In the ‘Most Delicious Girl’ competition, women compete to see how many mosquito bites they can attract in 20 minutes.
• “National Baby Food Festival”, the 22nd annual through Saturday in Fremont MI, home of Gerber Products. Events include a ‘Baby Food Cook-Off’ and ‘Adult Baby-Food-Eating Contest’.
• “Wear Crazy Socks to Work Day”, another excuse to goof off on-the-job, this time while laughing and pointing at one another’s feet. Multicolored toe socks, anyone?

• “Caviar Day”, saluting the mega-expensive roe (eggs) of the sturgeon fish, proving that we’ll eat just about anything if it is given an attractive name and costs a lot of money.
• “Hot Dog Day”, celebrating the tube sandwich that no cookout or baseball game would be complete without. (Watch how wieners are made and you’ll never eat one again.)
• “Nelson Mandela International Day”, the 5th annual initiated by the UN in honor of the late civil rights leader (1918-2013) and former South African president. Celebrated on his birth date.
• “Woodie Wagon Day”, an annual salute on the 3rd Saturday of July to the vintage car body style (especially a station wagon) where the rear bodywork is constructed of wood framework with in-fill panels of wood or woodgrain-painted metal.
• “World Listening Day”, to celebrate the practice of listening as it relates to the world around us, environmental awareness, and acoustic ecology.
NET: http://www.worldlisteningproject.org
• “World Snail Racing Championships” in Congham, England. The racetrack has 2 concentric circles. Snails race from the inner to the outer circle, a whopping distance of 13 inches (33 cm).
NET: http://www.snailracing.net

• “Ice Cream Sunday”, celebrated annually on the 3rd Sunday of July, “Ice Cream Month”.
• “Lake Superior Day”, started in the early 1990s to honor the largest of the Great Lakes of North America and highlight its importance to the environment and the economy. It’s the world’s 3rd-largest freshwater lake by volume.

2012 [02] Top executive Marissa Mayer leaves Google to become the new CEO of Yahoo!

1955 [60] ‘Disneyland’ officially opens in Anaheim CA, less than a year after construction began (now hosts over 14 million visitors a year, who spend close to $3 billion)

2013 [02] In an effort to curb obesity rates, United Arab Emirates offers citizens 1 gram of gold for every kilogram of weight they lose

1982 [33] 52-year-old Don Bennett of Seattle becomes 1st ‘One-Legged Mountain Climber’ to hop to the top of Washington’s 14,408-ft Mount Rainier

[Mon] Global Hug Your Kid Day
[Mon] Lollipop Day
[Mon] World Jump Day
[Mon] International Cake Day
[Tues] “Knock Knock Live” premieres (FOX)
[Tues] No Pet Store Puppies Day
This Week Is … Sports Cliché Week
This Month Is … Women’s Motorcycle Month


The infamous ‘Dad bod’ has been getting a lot of discussion lately, but let’s talk about some …
✓ ‘Netflix Autoplay Bod’
✓ ‘Corpse Pose is Still a Yoga Pose Bod’
✓ ‘Too Cheap to Join a Gym Bod’
✓ ‘Sauntering Counts as Exercise Bod’
✓ ‘Too Cold Outside Bod’
✓ ‘Too Hot Outside Bod’
✓ ‘Ben & Jerry’s Was 2-for-1 Bod’
✓ ‘Positive Thinking Counts as Exercise Bod’
✓ ‘Not Sure Why There’s a Dairy Queen Where the Gym Should Be Bod’
✓ ‘Dairy Queen Bod’
– Thanks to Sara Boboltz

☎ Is yawning in public rude? How should it be done?

I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, it was new to me …

Question: 12% of people who are unhappy with their homes say it’s because of THIS.
Answers: Neighbors.

There’s no future in time travel.

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