Tuesday, July 18, 2017 – Edition: #6015

Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The next person to assume the mantle of ‘Doctor Who’ will be a woman. According to the BBC, the 13th version of Doctor Who will be played by Jodie Whittaker. Known for her roles on ‘Broadchurch’ and ‘Attack The Block’, Whittaker said she’s “beyond excited to begin this epic journey” as the next Doctor.
-Jam.Canoe
★ Newly engaged Patton Oswalt and Meredith Salenger have had their first public ‘fight’…on Twitter. It all started when stand-up comic Max Silvestri posted on Friday about Twitter’s funniest joke writers being the most ‘repulsive in person.’ Counting himself in that category, Patton replied with some scatological humor of a lurid sexual nature that pushed things just a little too far. And his Harvard-educated fiancée did not approve. ‘Delete your account,’ Meredith shot back after seeing Patton’s lewd comment. ‘And disappoint my trolls?!? Never,’ Patton quickly replied.
-DailyMail
★ (Spoiler alert!) Fans tune into “Game of Thrones” expecting to see beheadings, dragons and White Walkers. On Sunday, however, they got Ed Sheeran. Sheeran made a cameo on the Season 7 premiere, playing one of the singing soldiers who Arya came across in the woods after offing the entire Frey family.  After hearing him sing, she told him, “That’s a pretty song” and she joins them for some food and drink. Sheeran’s appearance started trending on Twitter shortly after it aired.
-TooFab
★ When people called George A. Romero the father of the zombie movie, they weren’t kidding.  Romero, who passed away on Sunday, is not only credited with popularizing the zombie flick as a genre, but he also set the zombie ‘rules’ that almost all other zombie filmmakers followed:  Zombies must move slowly, lust for human flesh and can only be killed by being shot in the head.  If a zombie bites a human, the person dies and returns as a zombie.  Romero’s zombie movies, which at first glance may have seemed to be a simple gore-fest, served as commentary on serious subjects such as racism, consumerism, militarism and abuse of government power.  Steven King, whose ‘The Dark Half’ was adapted by Romero, called him his favorite collaborator.  George Romero was 77.
-AP, ContactMusic
★ Paris Hilton wants to get back into singing. The 36-year-old socialite managed to climb into number 18 on the Billboard 100 with her debut single ‘Stars Are Blind’ in 2006 – the track that launched her DJ career – and now she’s hoping to give it a modern twist and re-release it as a remix. (Is that getting back into singing…or getting back into re-hashing?
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jada Pinkett Smith, Dane DeHaan, Rita Ora, Dave Davies
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Keegan-Michael Key, Cillian Murphy, Matteo Lane
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Patrick Stewart, Alison Brie, New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, Matt Johnson
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Harry Styles, Aaron Taylor-Johnson ( R )
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Lamorne Morris, Jeff Rosenstock, Split Single, Jane Marie ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy): Kristin Chenoweth, Jim Norton, James Davis
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Dana Carvey, Claudia O’Doherty, Brad Wenzel ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Issa Rae, T.J. Miller
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kyra Sedgwick, Allison Williams
• “The Talk” (CBS): Cameron Mathison
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Keegan-Michael Key, James Wolk
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Eric Stonestreet, Khalid ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Cardi B, Mario Cantone
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Gary Owen ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Anika Noni Rose ( R )
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Judge Cuts 1” The contestants have one last chance to impress the judges; guest judge Chris Hardwick.
• “World of Dance” (NBC): “The Cut 1” The judges score each act’s performance; guest judge Misty Copeland.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aaron Carter – was arrested on DUI and drug charges in Georgia. 29-year-old Carter is accused of drunken driving and possession of less than 1 ounce of marijuana and paraphernalia. Carter is the younger brother of Nick Carter of Backstreet Boys.
• Pink Floyd – helped Naomi Watts’ mother out financially when her husband Peter Watts – who was a sound engineer for the band – died of a heroin overdose.  Naomi was just seven years old when her father died and she admits she owes a lot to the group because they helped her mother get back on her feet financially.
• Justin Bieber – has reportedly been fined for using his phone while driving. Reports say that Bieber was spotted with his phone in his hand while driving his Mercedes G Wagon in Beverly Hills.
• Kid Rock – has unveiled two new videos in ‘support’ of his Senate bid.  He had promised new material as a supplement to his political ambitions, cross-pollinating his message with lyrics and music video visuals. The videos are for the songs ‘Po-Dunk’ and ‘Greatest Show on Earth.’
• Spice Girls – Former Spice Girl Melanie Brown has been ordered to pay her estranged husband US$40,000 a month in emergency spousal support. The singer’s soon-to-be ex Stephen Belafonte was granted his cash request by a judge, after convincing the lawmaker he needs the money to survive.
• Eagles – took the stage on the weekend at the Classic West festival for their first full-length concert since Glenn Frey’s 2016 death. Frey’s son Deacon and country star Vince Gill joined the group as Don Henley, Timothy B. Schmit and Joe Walsh offered a hits-filled evening at Dodger Stadium. Bob Seger also appeared, handling the Frey part for ‘Heartache Tonight’.
• Ozzy Osbourne – played his first solo show since Black Sabbath’s March farewell.  Joining him for his mini-tour of 8 shows is guitarist Zack Wylde for the first time since 2006.
• Rascal Flatts – bassist Jay DeMarcus will assist in producing an upcoming adventure movie, ‘All Shook Up’. The movie will follow two young boys as they seek out a bomb buried in the marsh off the coast of Georgia, based on real-life events that took place in 1958.
• Willie Nelson – the 84 year-old is not thinking about retiring from music –probably ever. When asked, Willie said: “What do you want me to quit? I just play music and a little golf and I don’t wanna give up either one of those!” (Or pot, probably…)

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Coming out wherever you get your movies…
• “Kong: Skull Island” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): A team of scientists explore an uncharted island in the Pacific, venturing into the domain of the mighty Kong, and must fight to escape a primal Eden. (Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson)
• “Free Fire” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): Set in Boston in 1978, a meeting in a deserted warehouse between two gangs turns into a shootout and a game of survival. (Sharlto Copley, Brie Larson, Armie Hammer)
• “The Promise” (PG-13, Drama/Romance): Set during the last days of the Ottoman Empire, The Promise follows a love triangle between Michael, a brilliant medical student, the beautiful and sophisticated Ana, and Chris – a renowned American journalist based in Paris. (Oscar Isaac, Charlotte Le Bon, Christian Bale)
• “Tommy’s Honour” (PG, Drama): In every generation, a torch passes from father to son. And that timeless dynamic is the beating heart of Tommy’s Honour – an intimate, powerfully moving tale of the real-life founders of the modern game of golf. (Ophelia Lovibond, Sam Neill, Jack Lowden)
• “Buster’s Mal Heart” (Not Rated, Drama/Mystery): A family man’s chance encounter with a conspiracy-obsessed drifter leaves him on the run from the police and an impending event known as The Inversion. (Rami Malek, DJ Qualls, Kate Lyn Sheil)

I’M SO UNTALENTED I EVEN SLEEP WRONG:
The average person loses an astounding 15 days’ worth of sleep every year due to poor sleeping habits.  Here are the mistakes you may be making:
❑ Believing a good night’s sleep equals sleeping right through: Don’t stress about waking in the middle of the night.  Even if you think you slept through, chances are you woke up close to 10 times without realizing it.  This sleep-wake cycle evolved for our survival and safety; we come into a semi-conscious state to check that all is well and then slide back into sleep. Waking is normal.  Don’t fixate on it.  (Is it also normal to wake and order a pizza?)
❑ Checking the time: We’ve all been there! Can’t sleep, so you check your clock to see how late it is, then you can’t sleep because you’re worrying about how late it is. This is the single biggest disruptor of sleep.  Don’t look at the clock.  (You know the routine: You look at the clock and calculate how many hours of sleep you would get if you fell asleep RIGHT THIS MINUTE….)
❑ Believing only eight hours will do:  While it’s important to get enough sleep, there is far too much significance placed on the holy grail of eight hours.  Everyone’s sleep requirements are different.  The key is that if you wake up feeling refreshed after five hours, you’re probably getting enough sleep for you.  (I can just grab another 3 hours at work anyway…)
❑ Thinking you can ‘catch up’ on sleep:  this belief could be seriously damaging your sleep pattern. While you can catch up to some extent, you can’t fully recover.  Instead, get into a good, regular routine if you want to really reap the healing benefits of sleep.  (My entire belief system has just shattered…)
❑ Believing that sleep only happens when your eyes are shut: Have you ever sat in a meeting with your eyes open, but glazed over, and been completely oblivious to what’s being said? This is a vital relaxation state that allows you to consolidate information, learn, and refresh your memory, enabling you to stay sharp and focused, but slipping into this trance-like state during the day, you could affect your ability to fall asleep at night.  (Have I?  I call those trance-like states ‘Monday’!)
❑ Believing your insomnia is inherited: No such insomnia gene exists. The first step to sorting of your sleep problems is to stop thinking they are unsolvable.  (Although I did get my insomnia from my parents.  They kept me up all night yelling!)
-YahooStyle

BANANA STRINGS: NOT JUST THERE TO GROSS YOU OUT:
Let’s talk about bananas.  Not only have they been found to increase a woman’s chances of conceiving a boy, but they also pack a nutritional wallop.  But to take full advantage of the banana’s cancer, asthma, high blood pressure-fighting properties, you should be careful to eat those string-like little….well….strings that run up and down the length of the banana.  Now, banana strings do have a name.  Phloem bundles.  And they also serve a purpose.  They transport food and water inside a plant.  That means they feed the banana the food, nutrients, minerals and water that it needs to grow.  That means banana strings are loaded with good stuff that you should be eating, not peeling off and throwing out.  Or gagging on and pulling out of your mouth and THEN throwing out.
(So next time that 4-hour window comes when your bananas are ripe enough but not TOO ripe,  eat ‘em up!)
(What I hate is when I find them in my banana muffin!)
-PureWow

BILLBOARD BIG BUCK MAKERS:
Beyoncé was the highest-earning music artist of 2016, according to Billboard’s annual “Money Makers” list. Billboard’s ranking combines artists’ US sales, streaming, publishing, and touring revenues.  Here are the top 10 for 2016 (all figures in U.S. dollars):

1. Beyoncé ($62.1 mil)
2. Guns N’ Roses ($42.3 mil)
3. Bruce Springsteen ($42.2 mil)
4. Drake ($37.3 mil)
5. Adele ($37 mil)
6. Coldplay ($32.3 mil)
7. Justin Bieber ($30.5 mil)
8. Luke Bryan ($27.3 mil)
9. Kanye West ($26.1 mil)
10. Kenny Chesney ($25.4 mil)
(And keep in mind that this is how much money these artists made just in the U.S…..)
(I swear Guns N’ Roses made that on t-shirt sales alone!)
-Billboard

BS CHRONOMETER 07.18.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [67] (Sir) Richard Branson, London UK, business entrepreneur (CEO of Virgin Group since 1966)/founder of Virgin Atlantic Airways, Virgin Galactic, Virgin Mobile, Virgin Records, etc/estimated net worth $5.1 billion

1961 [56] Elizabeth McGovern, Evanston IL, TV actress (‘Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham’ on “Downton Abbey” 2010-16)

1964 [53] Wendy Williams, Ocean Township NJ, TV personality (“The Wendy Williams Show” since 2008)/former radio ‘shock jockette’

1967 [50] Vin Diesel (Mark Vincent), NYC, movie actor (“Fast & Furious” films, “The Chronicles of Riddick” films)

1975 [42] MIA (Mathangi Arulpragasam), London UK, rapper/record producer (“Paper Planes”)/visual artist/activist/photographer/fashion designer/model

1980 [37] Kristen Bell, Huntington Woods MI, movie actress (“Zootopia”, “Frozen”)/TV actress (“House of Lies” 2012-16, “Veronica Mars” 2004-07) UP NEXT: “Frozen 2?.

1981 [36] Michiel Huisman, Amstelveen, Netherlands, TV actor (‘Daario Naharis’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2014, “Orphan Black” 2014-15)

1982 [35] Priyanka Chopra, Jamshedpur, India, TV actress (‘Alex Parrish’ on “Quantico” since 2015) movie actress (“Baywatch”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Caviar Day”, saluting the mega-expensive roe (eggs) of the sturgeon fish, proving that we’ll eat just about anything if it is given an attractive name and costs a lot of money.

• “Nelson Mandela International Day”, the 9th annual as initiated by the UN in honor of the late civil rights leader and former South African president. Celebrated on his birth date (1918-2013).

• “World Listening Day”, to celebrate the practice of listening as it relates to the world around us, environmental awareness, and acoustic ecology. A joint effort of the World Soundscape Project, World Listening Project, and World Forum for Acoustic Ecology.  (I AM listening…for a chance to get a word in edgewise!)

• “Perfect Family Day”, Does anyone have a perfect family? Maybe most of us can only claim to put the ‘fun’ in ‘dysfunction.’

AND REMEMBER…
[Wed] Daiquiri Day
[Wed] New Friends Day
[Wed] Take Your Poet To Work Day
[Thurs] Get To Know Your Customer Day
[Thurs] Chess Day
[Thurs] Nap Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [09] ‘Batman’ sequel “The Dark Knight” opens in movie theaters, setting a record of $158 million with its opening weekend domestic box office (eventually wins Heath Ledger a posthumous Oscar for his portrayal of ‘The Joker’)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2008 [09] Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood enters rehab to battle alcohol abuse (the move follows tabloid speculation about the state of his 23-year marriage to former model Jo Wood)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2012 [05] King Jong-un, son of King Jong-il, is announced as official ‘Supreme Leader of North Korea’ and also now holds the rank of ‘Marshal in the Korean People’s Army’ (as well as ‘Grand Poobah’) (BS Wack fact: According to King Jong-il’s official biography, the leader never used a toilet — he apparently didn’t need to urinate or defecate.)

2014 [03] Amazon.com announces its new ‘Kindle Unlimited’ program, a subscription service providing borrowing rights to a large selection of books for a monthly fee (like the Public Library … only not free)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2013 [04] The government of Detroit MI, $20 billion in debt, files for the largest municipal bankruptcy in USA history

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
• Everyone has a unique tongue print, just like fingerprints.
• There are more trees on Earth than there are stars in the Milky Way Galaxy (3 trillion vs. 100-400 billion).
• Amazon ships bubble wrap in bubble wrap.
• 75% of cars that Rolls Royce has ever produced are still on the road today.
• The average weekly coffee bill for 18-34 year-olds is $24.74.
• Drug lord, Pablo Escobar spent as much as $2,500 every month on rubber bands to “hold the money together.”
-Buzzfeed, WhattheFFacts

MORE BS AWKWARD OPENING LINES:
• I see by your beer that you like beer.
• I dress up as Santa Claus at malls.  No, it’s not a job.  I just like to do it.
• Boy, do you suck at staring contests.  I’ve been having them with you all night, and you’ve lost like 12 times in a row!
• Whoa!  Is that a mole?
• Pick a card, any card.  Hey relax!  OK, OK…I’ll wait until you are done in the restroom.
• Check out my wallet.  That’s real velcro.
• I’ll tell you what.  Let’s get out of here and go to this place I know.  We’ll need to pick up a mattress on the way.
-Stuff

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
You’ve just encountered an ‘umbilicus’. What is it?
a. the arms of a jellyfish
b. a swear word in a local dialect.
c. A belly button. [CORRECT]

Cork is harvested from bark of what kind of tree?
a. Oak [CORRECT]
b. Sumac
c. Black Cherry

BS RANDOM JOKE:
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What is the one thing that you eat every day?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 30% of hiring managers think THIS is a big red flag when interviewing someone. Answer: Bad Breath

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Be yourself…everyone else is taken.


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