July 18 2018

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Wednesday, July 18, 2018 – Edition: #6257

Sheet Happens!

★ Kylie Jenner fans are throwing their support behind a GoFundMe page to help her become the world’s youngest billionaire. 21 year-old Jenner has made Forbes’ 2018 list of 60 Richest Self-Made Women thanks to her $900 million Kylie Cosmetics empire – but she is $100 million short of being a billionaire. In a bid to speed up the process, one ‘heartbroken’ fan set up a GoFundMe page. Fans jokingly threw in their support, with one tweeting: “Skipping my child support payments to help this fierce female become an iconic billionaire!” Another wrote: “Just took out a second mortgage to support.” A third joked: “My kid doesn’t need to eat this month..I’m in.”
★ Meghan Markle’s father says the new duchess of Sussex is “terrified” of her new life as a royal. Thomas Markle hasn’t spoken to his daughter since the day after she married Prince Harry two months ago, but in an interview, he said: “My thing about my daughter right now is that I think she is terrified. I see it in her eyes, I see it in her face, and I see it in her smile. This one isn’t even a stage smile—this is a pained smile.” The Duchess’ father also said that she might be “under too much pressure” as she adapts to her new life, adding: “There’s a high price to pay to be married to that family.
★ Jessica Biel closed the doors on her child-friendly restaurant ‘Au Fudge’ on Sunday after just two years in business. Biel made an official announcement via the venue’s Instagram page. While the restaurant and full service bar, which was billed as ‘fun for kids and kids at heart’, is now closed, the company will do private events. In January, 2017, Biel said that getting into the restaurant business was more challenging than she had expected.
(And yet, I’m always hearing parents mention that place by name!)
★ A university professor got the surprise of a lifetime when he discovered a discarded screenplay written by none other than Stanley Kubrick. He had been researching the director’s last project when he made the discovery at Kubrick’s London archives. Entitled ‘Burning Secret’, the 60 year-old script was uncovered by film professor Nathan Abrams of Bangor University. He’d been shown the script by a relative of one of the filmmaker’s would-be partners. ‘Burning Secret’ was thought to be too controversial for its time.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Magic Johnson, Lakeith Stanfield, Lil Baby
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Amanda Seyfried, Daveed Diggs, Wiz Khalifa featuring Swae Lee
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, Dominic Cooper, Beck
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Christine Baranski, Niecy Nash, Miranda Lambert, Emmanuelle Caplette
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Steven Tyler, Morena Baccarin, Kacey Musgraves ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul, Anna Gunn, Dean Norris, Betsy Brandt, R.J. Mitte, Giancarlo Esposito, Bob Odenkirk, Vince Gilligan
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Luann De Lesseps, Kristin Chenoweth
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Joel McHale, Daveed Diggs
• “The Talk” (CBS): Mena Suvari, Ellen K, Dr. Habib Sadeghi, guest co-host Cheryl Ladd
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kristin Chenoweth, Josh Beckerman
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kristen Bell, DNCE ( R )
• “The 2018 ESPYS” (ABC): Danica Patrick hosts the 26th annual event in Los Angeles, honoring top sports athletes, teams and performances. Plus, the Arthur Ashe Award.
• “Suits” (USA): Season 8 premiere

• Azealia Banks – targeted “Wild ‘n Out” host Nick Cannon for allegedly making an offensive joke while they filmed a segment of his show Saturday. The episode has not yet aired. Banks said she was canceling her album because of the apparent bad blood she had with Cannon, even though he seemingly wasn’t involved with her new music. For an encore, Banks wrote on Monday that she’d love to see Wendy Williams “die on air”.
• Cardi B – She and “The Carters” — a.k.a. Beyonce and Jay-Z — lead the nominees for the 2018 MTV Video Music Awards. Cardi received 10 nominations — which are gender-neutral — including video, song and artist of the year. The Carters have 8 nominations.
• Mandy Moore – It’s been nearly 10 years since her last album. But on the weekend, she Instagrammed that she is “Getting back to it. It’s time. I miss it.”
• Guns N’ Roses – Their 1991 video for ‘November Rain’ has passed one billion views on YouTube. That makes it the first music video from the 1990s to reach the billion-view milestone, and the first one created before the YouTube era to do so.
• David Bowie – A BBC documentary movie, set to be released next year, will explore his early career. “The First Five Years” is a companion film to 2013’s “Five Years” and 2017’s “David Bowie: The Last Five Years”.
• Blur – Bassist Alex James slammed Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones, accusing them of pretending to be teenagers. He said that “There are rumors of Led Zeppelin getting back together, and nobody really wants to hear their…new record, do they? They want to listen to ‘Stairway to Heaven.’ How old were they when they did ‘Stairway to Heaven’? Like 20 or something? And how old are they now,? They are…70.” As for the Stones: “You can’t be Jumping Jack (Flash) when you are seventy…eight.”
• Kenny Chesney – has set a record with his new #1 single ‘Get Along’. It’s his 30th chart-topper, making him the country artist with the most No. 1 singles in the history of the chart.
• Blake Shelton – wants video of his drunken hijinks. After taking a spill on stage during his show at the Pendleton Whisky Music Fest in Oregon over the weekend, he tweeted: “OK Pendleton, I know somebody is bound to have video of me falling on stage last night!! Please!! I have to see it!!…And yes, I had been drinking. A lot..”

Co-working giant WeWork Cos. has taken meat off the menu at all company functions, including lunchtime. The workspace provider has told its 6,000 staff that they will no longer be able to expense meals that provide meat, and that the company won’t pay for any red meat, poultry or pork at WeWork events. That’s in addition to the fact that the company’s lunchrooms will only provide vegetarian options in the future. An email to staff from co-founder Miguel McKelvey said that avoiding meat is one of the biggest things someone can do to reduce their personal environmental impact…even more than switching to a hybrid car.
(Why do I get the feeling this also has to do with cutting costs?)
(I wonder if there will be a bunch of staff huddled around the front door in the middle of winter, shivering and scarfing down a turkey sandwich?)
(Well, what’s the point in even HAVING lunch then?)

When it’s nice out, you can hear any parent tell their kids to “play outside”. It turns out that is good advice for all of us. For years, researchers have been telling us that people who are exposed to nature enjoy better health. Now, some health professionals are prescribing walking barefoot on grass in addition to general outdoor activity as a means of improving physical and mental health. Walking barefoot is referred to as ‘grounding’ and apparently can help with stress, sleep problems, chronic pain and some diseases. How? You might not believe it, but we’re designed to touch the earth. Earth’s surface has a negative charge and constantly generates electrons that may neutralize free radicals, acting as antioxidants. These could provide many of the health benefits that a diet rich in fruits and vegetables does. Research also suggests physical contact with the Earth’s surface could regulate our circadian rhythms, which regulate body temperature, blood pressure and other essential functions.
(It might be good for me, but my walking around with bare feet CAN’T be good for anyone else!)
(When I was a kid, ‘grounding’ didn’t have much to do with being outside at all!)
(When I tell MY kids to play outside, it’s not because it’s good for them!)

✗ Not writing a thank you note: For some things, saying ‘thank you’ just isn’t enough.
✗ Failing to introduce people: It’s both an etiquette faux pas and an awkward moment for all of you. (But it’s still better than getting someone’s name wrong!)
✗ Sparring online: The anonymity—or perceived anonymity—of online conversations can embolden even people who consider themselves pretty polite in person, and thanks to the nature of the internet, your regrettable comments might follow you around for some time. Let it slide!
✗ Bringing your dog: Yes, you love your dog. But bringing him with you to every event is a major etiquette blunder. At least check ahead to see if he is welcome.
✗ Talking on your phone in a restaurant: If you HAVE to take the call, at least leave the dining area. (And for God’s sake, don’t MAKE a call from the table!)
✗ Avoiding eye contact: Making eye contact when you’re having a conversation with another person shows respect and shows that you have confidence. (It also shows that you are capable of going more than 30 seconds without looking at your phone!)
✗ Ghosting: It’s always unkind to do so, and may cost you dates in the future if you get a reputation for being a frequent ghoster. Contact your date within 24 hours of your getting together…good or bad.
✗ Not tipping: Virtually every restaurant assumes their employees will be tipped. There’s no excuse not to. (Except maybe poor service?)
✗ Showing up empty-handed: If you’ve been invited to an event, bring something to show your gratitude, whether that’s a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, or just a fun little gift for the host. (I showed up empty-handed once. Funny, I haven’t seen the Johnson’s since….)
(And #10? Pointing out the social etiquette mistakes of others!)


1950 [68] (Sir) Richard Branson, London UK, business entrepreneur (founder of Virgin Group which includes Virgin Atlantic Airways, Virgin Galactic, Virgin Mobile, Virgin Megastores, etc/estimated net worth $5.1 billion

1961 [57] Elizabeth McGovern, Evanston IL, TV actress (‘Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham’ on “Downton Abbey” 2010-16)

1964 [54] Wendy Williams, Ocean Township NJ, TV personality (“The Wendy Williams Show” since 2008)/former radio ‘shock jockette’

1967 [51] Vin Diesel (Mark Vincent), NYC, movie actor (“Fast & Furious” films, “The Chronicles of Riddick” films)

1975 [43] MIA (Mathangi Arulpragasam), London UK, rapper/record producer (‘Paper Planes’)/visual artist/activist/photographer/fashion designer/model

1980 [38] Kristen Bell, Huntington Woods MI, movie actress (“Zootopia”, “Frozen”)/TV actress (“House of Lies” 2012-16, “Veronica Mars” 2004-07) COMING UP…”Ralph Breaks the Internet” 2018

1981 [37] Michiel Huisman, Amstelveen, Netherlands, TV actor (‘Daario Naharis’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2014, “Orphan Black” 2014-15)

1982 [36] Priyanka Chopra, Jamshedpur, India, TV actress (‘Alex Parrish’ on “Quantico” since 2015) movie actress (“Baywatch”) COMING UP…”Isn’t It Romantic” 2019

• “Caviar Day”, saluting the mega-expensive roe (eggs) of the sturgeon fish, proving that we’ll eat just about anything if it is given an attractive name and costs a lot of money.

• “Nelson Mandela International Day”, as initiated by the UN in honor of the late civil rights leader and former South African president. Celebrated on his birth date (1918-2013).

• “World Listening Day”, to celebrate the practice of listening as it relates to the world around us, environmental awareness, and acoustic ecology. A joint effort of the World Soundscape Project, World Listening Project, and World Forum for Acoustic Ecology. (I AM listening…for a chance to get a word in edgewise!)

• “Perfect Family Day”, Does anyone have a perfect family? Maybe most of us can only claim to put the ‘fun’ in ‘dysfunction.’

• “Hot Dog Day”, Hot Dog Days are informal events that are celebrated in communities throughout the hotdog-eating world, including the United States, Canada, Great Britain and Australia. The festivals revolve around eating hot dogs, but usually there are other activities such as wiener dog races, root beer chugging contests, and face painting. (I have a feeling that this is a day that Joey Chestnut doesn’t celebrate!)

[Thurs] Daiquiri Day
[Thurs] Get to Know Your Customers Day
[Fri] International Chess Day
[Fri] Nap Day

2008 [10] ‘Batman’ sequel “The Dark Knight” opens in movie theaters, setting a record of $158 million with its opening weekend domestic box office (eventually wins Heath Ledger a posthumous Oscar for his portrayal of ‘The Joker’)

1991 [27] The very first Lollapalooza music festival is held in Tempe, AZ. Artists include Jane’s Addiction, Nine Inch Nails, Living Colour, Ice-T, Violent Femmes and more.

2008 [10] Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood enters rehab to battle alcohol abuse (the move follows tabloid speculation about the state of his 23-year marriage to former model Jo Wood)

2012 [06] Kim Jong-un, son of Kim Jong-il, is announced as official ‘Supreme Leader of North Korea’ and also now holds the rank of ‘Marshal in the Korean People’s Army’ (as well as ‘Grand Poobah’) (BS Wack fact: According to King Jong-il’s official biography, the leader never used a toilet — he apparently didn’t need to urinate or defecate.)

2014 [04] Amazon.com announces its new ‘Kindle Unlimited’ program, a subscription service providing borrowing rights to a large selection of books for a monthly fee (like the Public Library … only not free)

2013 [05] The government of Detroit MI, $20 billion in debt, files for the largest municipal bankruptcy in USA history


✓ In 2015, a man sued Red Bull stating that after 10 years of consuming the product, he received no wings, nor enhanced physical or intellectual performance.
✓ The can opener was not invented until 50 years after the invention of canned food.
✓ Flamingos can only eat with their heads upside down.
✓ Penguins have an organ above their eyes that converts seawater to fresh water.
✓ More than 10% of the nation of Tuvalu’s GDP comes from registration of .tv domain names.
✓ If you could produce a sound louder than 1,100 dB, you would create a black hole and destroy the galaxy.
-FactSlides, WhattheFFacts

• To another year of not finding anyone better.
• You’re 40! (months behind in your child support payments)
• You’re the best starter husband a girl could wish for!
• Happy “Got Drunk in Vegas and Did Something Stupid Day.”
• I really thought you’d be dead by now.
• I love you… by the way, that dress DOES make you look fat.
• We’re such a great match. I like to travel, and you like to get around.
• When I said “For better or worse”, that was actually rhetorical.
• We need to talk.

Best of BS:
• I see by your beer that you like beer.
• I dress up as Santa Claus at malls. No, it’s not a job. I just like to do it.
• Boy, do you suck at staring contests. I’ve been having them with you all night, and you’ve lost like 12 times in a row!
• Whoa! Is that a mole?
• Pick a card, any card. Hey relax! OK, OK…I’ll wait until you’re done in the restroom.
• Check out my wallet. That’s real velcro.
• I’ll tell you what. Let’s get out of here and go to this place I know. We’ll need to pick up a mattress on the way.
-First published in BS in 2017

1. The word “stalemate” to designate a no-win situation has its origins in what game?
a. Tic-Tac-Toe
b. Chess [CORRECT]
c. Parcheesi
d. Any Cleveland Browns game

2. Which of the following is NOT traditionally considered to be a green vegetable?
a. Cauliflower [CORRECT]
b. Broccoli
c. Snow peas
d. Bok Choy

I just made up a new word: plagiarism.

Finally! They meet: https://tinyurl.com/ybcjh5sn

What would you say is the world’s most dangerous sport? Skydiving? Boxing? Rodeo? Soccer referee?

Question: 50% of kids from big cities have never done THIS. What?
Answer: Roast marshmallows

If you can’t do great things, do small things in a great way.

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