Thursday, July 2, 2015        Edition: #5486

Get a Load Of This Sheet!

★ 32-year-old model Miranda Kerr is apparently dating 25-year-old Snapchat billionaire Evan Spiegel. The twosome have been spotted together at a restaurant in Venice CA, and a snitch says the body language definitely suggests they’re a couple. The entrepreneur has just been named the world’s youngest billionaire by “Forbes”, thanks to the success of his mobile app that allows users to send messages and videos that are instantly deleted after viewing. (Let’s see, Orlando Bloom, Justin Bieber, James Packer … the girl sure likes to hang around money!)
– “Us Weekly”
★ Divorcing show biz couple 42-year-old actor-director Ben Affleck & 43-year-old actress Jennifer Garner reportedly don’t have a pre-nuptial agreement but it’s thought Garner isn’t seeking spousal support anyway as she has a sizable fortune of her own from syndicated TV show “Alias” as well as a string of movies. This week the couple made their intent to divorce after 10 years of marriage official. The division of their property is said to be going smoothly, and they’ve stated they’re committed to co-parenting their children. (Rumors of separation began when tabloids spotted moving vans near their home last month.)
★ And “Miss Universe” as been dealt another blow in the wake of the Donald Trump controversy. Cheryl Burke has pulled out as co-host of the July 12th “Miss USA” qualifying pageant. Burke cites NBC-TV’s decision to pull the event due to its connection with the real estate mogul-turned-presidential candidate who’s currently battling negative reaction to his recent comments about Mexican immigration. Univision, the Spanish-language network set to simulcast the gala, pulled out last week. (Wow, something even more detrimental to his campaign than his – air-quotes – ‘hair’!)

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Mariah Carey (“#1 to Infinity”). Rerun.
• Essence Festival (New Orleans LA) – The annual 4-day celebration of African-American talent and culture features a diverse group of artists and speakers. This year’s headliners: Common, Kendrick Lamar, Mary J Blige, Missy Elliott, Trey Songz, and Usher.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Butch Walker (“Afraid of Ghosts”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Faith No More (“Sol Invictus”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – One Direction (“Four”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Chad Smith (Red Hot Chili Peppers); Jamie xx (“In Colour”). Rerun.
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Joey McIntyre (New Kids On the Block). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – John Legend (“Love In the Future”), Meghan Trainor (“Title”).

• Amy Winehouse – Previously unheard music has been discovered by the makers of the new documentary film “Amy”. The moviemakers are campaigning for the “Rehab” singer’s label, Universal, to release an album featuring the tracks they weren’t able to squeeze into the bio-pic (opening tomorrow in North America and the UK).
• Avril Lavigne – The “Complicated” singer was first diagnosed with Lyme disease back in December 2012, and has struggled to get back to health ever since. In a new interview this week, she tells “Good Morning America” she’s still only about halfway through treatment.
• Brantley Gilbert – He’s married Amber Cochran, the school teacher he first met in church a decade ago. His rep confirms the ceremony took place Sunday at Gilbert’s home in Georgia. Gilbert’s next gig is Kenny Chesney’s “Big Revival” tour stop in Philadelphia PA on July 11th.
• Kings Of Leon – They’re set to work on their next album in a 174-year-old house in Nashville TN across the street from their studio. It was built in 1841 and used to belong to Dolly Parton’s engineer. Frontman Caleb Followill says the new album should be written by the end of the year, but there’s no release date as yet.
• Miley Cyrus – She’s apparently ‘switching up’ her vocal style. The 22-year-old is currently working on her 5th studio album and producer Mike Will says fans can expect a different sound on it. In a word, he describes her new music as ‘crazy’.
• Journey – Drummer Deen Castronovo has been dropped from the band’s ongoing tour since his arrest in Salem, Oregon for assault, coercion, and menacing. And the DA has now added charges of rape, sexual abuse, and unlawful use of a weapon. He’s being held without bail.
• One Direction – 22-year-old ex-member Zayn Malik is working on his debut solo album, which producer Naughty Boy describes as ‘very soulful’. It was recently reported that Malik is banned from releasing solo music for 2 years following his departure from 1D.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Downton Abbey” – Creator Julian Fellowes has confirmed the upcoming 6th season of the TV period drama will be its last, but he already has a movie version in mind. Quote: “I think I know what the spine of a story for a film would be. I think it would be fun … because we’d be making it on a film budget. Ballrooms would be full, you could have crowds, you could have riots.”
• “478” – 67-year-old “Terminator Genisys” star Arnold Schwarzenegger has been cast in this upcoming film by Spanish writer Javier Gullon. The story centers on a man who seeks vengeance for a tragic mistake made by an air traffic controller that results in his wife and child dying in a plane crash. Shooting is expected to begin this Autumn. No release date as yet.
• “Mother’s Day” – Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, and Kate Hudson are all said to be in talks to appear in director Garry Marshall’s latest holiday-themed movie. As with his previous films “New Year’s Eve” and “Valentine’s Day”, the movie tells a series of intertwining stories, this time about the lives of several moms.
• “Punk’d” – Jason Goldberg, co-creator of the hit MTV program (2003-07) that starred Ashton Kutcher, has signed a deal to create a series of films featuring celebrities falling victim to practical jokes. Each movie will have a budget of $5 million and they’ll be targeted for release around April Fools’ Day next year. This sounds like material for an online streaming service.
• “Swiss Army Man” – 25-year-old former “Harry Potter” actor Daniel Radcliffe stars alongside Paul Dano and Mary Elizabeth Winstead in this surreal dramedy that follows what happens when a hopeless man in the wilderness befriends an unlikely counterpart … a dead body. Together, the pair undertakes a weird journey to get home. There’s no release date as yet.

Should you marry? Take the test …
✓ They’ve seen you at your worst … and they still think you’re the best
✓ They put up with your insufferable mood swings.
✓ They’re nice to your family … even the weird members.
✓ They like you even when YOU don’t like you.
✓ They happily listen to your work dramas and pretend to care.
✓ They want to do spontaneous things with you.
✓ Your worst body parts are their favorite body parts.
✓ They put up with your tacky taste in films.
✓ You get excited about buying them things.
✓ Being drunk together is actually fun.
– Adapted from “Metro”

Female celebrities are increasingly stepping out in see-through ensembles that give an eyeful of their un-sexiest undergarments. These transparent train-wrecks show no signs of stopping as a slew of famous femmes are showing up on red carpets in revealing mesh outfits … with waist-high underwear on full display underneath. Some of the undergear is being touted as ‘full-bottom shapewear’. Italian designer Scognamiglio is a proponent of the look, saying he strives to make transparencies ‘work in a chic and sexy way, but never vulgar’. So that’s where flaunting the granny panties comes in … the dowdy drawers are said to supposedly balance out the otherwise naked look. (We see London, we see France … we see granny underpants!)
– Condensed from “New York Daily News”

A new ranking of the most-shocking celebrity breakup announcements of the last 15 years …
5. Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise
4. Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony
3. Heidi Klum & Seal
2. Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt
1. Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin
(How do you think the breakup of ‘Bennifer’ ranks?)

Finnish engineer Matti Makkonen, who helped launch the worldwide sensation of texting, has died at age 63 after an illness. Makkonen became known as the ‘Father of SMS’ after developing the idea of sending messages via mobile networks. Despite the nickname, he was often quick to point out that he didn’t invent the technology single-handedly. Speaking on the 20th anniversary of the first phone-to-phone text message (1994), he modestly called the development of SMS a joint effort, and credited Finnish phone-maker Nokia with helping to popularize it. Makkonen has never taken any credit (or perhaps blame?) for creating ‘txt spk’, the short-form text language that’s become commonplace. (CUL8R, Matti.)
– BBC Technology

The once-in-a-lifetime moment sparks genius among some, and disaster among others who get far too creative. Among the worst methods actually used to propose …
✗ Written in graffiti … on the side of a house.
✗ Written in graffiti … on the side of a cow.
✗ Going down on one knee … in a McDonald’s.
✗ Popping the question … in a public washroom.
✗ Presenting an engagement ring … attached to a ‘Blooming Onion’.
✗ Changing the name of a home wi-fi network to … ‘Wifi(ey)’.
✗ Having the proposal inked across the shoulders … as a permanent tattoo.
✗ Turning down the radio to ask … while speeding down the middle lane of an expressway.
(And your best horror story is …?)
– Sourced from

• In Japan, letting a sumo wrestler make your baby cry is considered good luck.
• In Iceland, it’s hard to come up with a creative name for a newborn. A government committee prevents parents from giving babies names it deems too weird.
• Homosexuality was still classified an illness in Sweden in 1979. Swedes protested by calling in sick to work, claiming they felt gay.
– “Mental Floss Magazine”


1947 [68] Larry David, Brooklyn NY, TV producer-director-writer-actor  (“Curb Your Enthusiasm” 2000-11, “Seinfeld” 1989-96)

1949 [66] Roy ‘The Professor’ Bittan, Queens NY, rock keyboardist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band)

1983 [32] Michelle Branch, Flagstaff AZ, pop/country singer (w/Santana-“The Game of Love”, The Wreckers-“Leave the Pieces”)

1986 [29] Lindsay Lohan, NYC, movie actress (“Mean Girls”)/stage actress (“Speed-the-Plow”)/multi-visit rehab veteran

• “Be Nice to People You Don’t Like Day”. Just for one day … then tomorrow you can go back to being the grouchy old bear you usually are.

• “Freedom From Fear of Public Speaking Day”. There are a lot of self-help books, how-to classes, and support groups but – truth be told – some of us will never be comfortable with it.

• “I Forgot Day”, set aside to make up for all the birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions that you forgot to acknowledge over the past year. (What’s the lamest excuse you’ve heard?)

• “World UFO Day”, a day in which individuals and groups are encouraged to gather together to watch the skies for Unidentified Flying Objects.

2014 [01] American distance runner and WW2 hero Louis Zamperini, subject of the book & movie “Unbroken” (2014), dies in Los Angeles at age 97

2001 [14] UK’s Liverpool Airport is renamed ‘John Lennon Airport’

2005 [10] “Live 8” concerts are staged simultaneously worldwide to benefit impoverished African nations, featuring performances by Elton John, Neil Young, Paul McCartney, Pink Floyd, Stevie Wonder, and The Who among dozens of others

2002 [13] Adventurer Steve Fossett becomes 1st to fly solo around-the-world nonstop in a hot air balloon (later disappears during a 2007 flight and is declared legally dead in 2008)

2003 [12] Vancouver BC is awarded the 2010 Winter Olympics

1996 [19] “Independence Day”, starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, and Jeff Goldblum, opens in movie theaters and grosses $100 million in 7 days … a new record

2006 [09] ‘Tata’, believed to be ‘World’s Oldest Crow’, dies in Bearsville NY at age 59 (blown out of its nest as a fledgling in 1947, it is never able to fly but is kept as a pet)

[Fri] Compliment Your Mirror Day
[Fri] International Plastic Bag-Free Day
[Fri] Stay Out Of the Sun Day
[Sat] Made In America festival (Philadelphia PA)
[Sun] Bikini Day
This Week Is … International Chicken Wing Week
This Month Is … Family Reunion Month


✓ How much he wants you around.
✓ How she always skips the number 4 when counting to 10.
✓ How he takes his shirt off by sticking his arms through the neck-hole.
✓ That she doesn’t know when to end a hug.
✓ That he can’t say the alphabet without singing it.
✓ Her inability to lie. And the look on her face when she tries to.
✓ How small he looks on the sofa.
✓ That she eats a hot dog like corn-on-the-cob.
✓ That he hides his shoes inside of yours.
✓ When he makes up new words … “Whobody can race to the kitchen first?!?”
– Jason Good in “Parents Magazine”

You know, 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Which is the national animal of Scotland?
a. Sheep
b. Buckhorn Deer
c. Lion
d. Unicorn [CORRECT. Two were depicted in Scotland’s original coat of arms.]

☎ If you could eliminate one habit your mate has, what would you have them stop doing?

Question: We all did THIS as kids, but 1-in-5 of us has also done it as an adult.
Answer: Climbed a tree.

If you love life, it will love you back.

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