Wednesday, July 20, 2011     Edition: #4553

Why Not Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning?

Boy-band singer-turned-reality TV star Nick Lachey married TV personality Vanessa Minnillo over the weekend in a private ceremony with just 35 friends & family in attendance (the ‘secret’ nuptials will be televised on a TLC special July 30th) . . . Over 30 music artists are involved in the launching of the ‘Fans First Coalition’, a not-for-profit organization dedicated to protecting concert-goers from fraudulent ticket practices, including scalping and unscrupulous ticket resale websites (NET: . . . 51-year-old music mogul Simon Cowell is said to be ‘obsessed’ with an anti-aging smoothie drink that’s made from lingonberry, chokeberry, aronia juice, and acerola berry (co-workers refer to it as his ‘green swamp-juice’) . . . Longtime show biz couple Kurt Russell & Goldie Hawn have put their 20-plus-year home overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Malibu, California on the market for $14.7 million (but you can rent it until it’s sold for only $80,000-a-month) . . . Director Woody Allen’s latest film, “Midnight in Paris”, has now become his all-time most successful at the box office, surpassing “Hannah & Her Sisters” (1986) with a worldwide ticket total of $73.9 million . . . On the other end of the scale: Stephen K Bannon’s just-opened new Sarah Palin documentary, “The Undefeated”, has not received a single positive review from any major newspaper, magazine, or trade critic . . . A 61-year-old Vancouver pedestrian has been accidentally knocked down and killed by the vehicle used on the TV game show “Cash Cab” (Discovery Channel) as a crew member was driving the mock-taxi back to a storage facility (we’re guessing this cab’s soon going to have a lot less cash) . . . And it seems Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony’s split-up will NOT affect the launch of their clothing lines for Kohl’s department stores, a rep confirming their planned his-and-hers collections will go ahead as planned (but in separate departments).

• “Gayle King” (OWN) – John Legend (“Wake Up!”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Owl City (“All Things Bright & Beautiful”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Janelle Monáe (“The ArchAndroid”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Joseph Arthur (“Graduation Ceremony”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Cee-Lo Green (“The Lady Killer”).
• “MTV Unplugged” (MTV/ – Thirty Seconds to Mars perform 5 songs, including a cover of U2’s “Where The Streets Have No Name”.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The top 10 dancers perform for the judges, including guest judge Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mother”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Gavin DeGraw (“Sweeter”).

• Adele – The 23-year-old tells Britain’s “OK!” magazine she’s so terrified of performing live that she worries she won’t make it to old age due to stage-fright stress. In order to chill out, she’s moved back in with her mother after a failed attempt at living alone.
• Ja Rule – Already serving a 2-year prison sentence for attempted gun possession, the rapper has now been sentenced to a further 28 months for failing to pay $1.1 million in taxes on money earned from 2004 to 2006.
• Loretta Lynn – The 76-year-old country legend is back home near Nashville TN after being hospitalized for heat exhaustion and dehydration, causing her to cancel 2 weekend shows. She plans to resume touring August 1st.
• Metallica – Frontman James Hetfield has resolved a long-running dispute over his decision to block a hiking trail which cut through his property in Marin County, California. He’s agreed to pay for road improvements and allow construction workers access so a new hiking trail can be built around his land. He bought the site back in 1999 but is yet to build on it.
• Rob Zombie / Slayer – Tonight they’re hitting the road together for the first time since “Ozzfest 1999”. The 12-city co-headlining tour gets underway in Reading PA.
• Tim McGraw – He says he honestly doesn’t know how he broke his foot, saying it could have happened while running or during the part of his show where he jumps off speakers. However it happened, he has to wear a corrective boot for 4 more weeks.

There’s a growing trend in Germany to re-establish the former tradition of midday napping. A confederation of trade unions has been arguing that a short, lunchtime power nap makes sense for health and performance reasons, and the idea has caught on. Big corporations such as BASF, Opel, and Lufthansa now provide special rooms for napping. Employers say they benefit from the increased productivity of well-rested employees. (Would you rather have an allotted nap time or a shorter workday?)
– “The Guardian”

A giant 26-ft (7.9-m) statue of Marilyn Monroe’s famous leg-flashing moment from “The Seven Year Itch” – in which her flowing dress is blown up as she stands over a subway grate – is causing controversy in Chicago, Illinois where it was unveiled earlier this month. It’s not that the sculpture is shocking or sexist or obscene, it’s that it’s making people who view it act juvenile. It seems locals and tourists alike are flocking to gawk up her skirt and take lewd photos of her giant underwear. If that’s not bad enough, men (and women) have been spotted … licking Marilyn’s leg. The Seward Johnson sculpture is scheduled to remain in Chicago till next spring.
– “Chicago Sun-Times”

One of the nice features of the new social network Google+ (Google-Plus) is that you can sort relationships into different categories (called ‘circles’) which you can name anything you want. A few suggestions on how to categorize your contacts …
• ‘People I faked my own death to avoid on Facebook’
• ‘Complete Strangers I’d Sleep With’
• ‘People Who Won’t Stop Posting Pictures of Their Babies’
• ‘People Who Don’t Post Enough Pictures of Their Kittens’
• ‘People Probably Drunk Right Now’
• ‘Dead to Me’

Schools in Australia are considering a plan to teach students how to properly use social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. If approved, the classes will focus on ‘Digital Reputation Management’ (because a mistake you make at 15 might be retrievable by a potential employer down the road) and also the consequences of abusing others through ‘Cyberbullying’. The hope is that students will learn to recognize that the actions they take online can inflict real harm on themselves and others. (We need this here!)

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Gourmand Syndrome’ – An obsession with food and ‘fine eating’ that can be brought on by damage to a certain section of the brain’s right hemisphere from an accident or stroke. (Is that what happened to Emeril?)
• ‘Elderburbia’ – Suburbs that have a predominantly senior population. (For more information, google Scottsdale AZ, Clearwater FL, Victoria BC.)
• ‘Singlism’ – Workplace discrimination against employees who are single; also the negative stereotyping of single people. (“All employees and their spouses are invited to the company picnic this Saturday. Single employees can bring their mommies or daddies.”)

A recent poll on the single lifestyle finds that 50% of women & 45% of men aged 18+ are now unmarried. The majority of singles in the 21-to-34 and 55-to-64 age groups identify themselves as ‘very happy’ or ‘somewhat happy’. It’s the singles in the middle (35-to-54) who report significantly lower levels of happiness. The biggest gap is between people looking for a reproductive partner and people who are not looking for a reproductive partner. (Should that be topic #1 on a first date?)
– “Chicago Tribune”

What’s the secret to a more satisfying marriage? Thinner wives. That’s the conclusion of a newly-released 4-year University of Tennessee study: Marriages are more satisfying for both partners when wives have a lower Body Mass Index than their husbands. Husbands are more satisfied initially, and wives over time. But that doesn’t mean wives need to be tiny to be happy. It’s relative weight that matters, not absolute weight. The study suggests that women of any size can be happy in their relationships with the right partner. (The perfect excuse for husbands to chubbify themselves!)
– ABC News

British researchers have discovered that cats foul neighboring gardens intentionally to mark the edge of what they consider to be their territory. These feline behavioral traits were revealed when GPS trackers and tiny cameras – nicknamed ‘cat navs’ – were fitted to pets over a period of 8 days. The findings were drawn from 150 hours of camera footage, over 750 hours of GPS tracking, and a survey of 3,000 cat owners. The study, called “The Secret Lives of Cats”, found that 90% of monitored cats never crossed busy roads and the average moggy spends 12 hours-a-day snoozing. (We swear our neighbor’s cat fouls our gardens under direct orders.)
– “Daily Mail”


1947 [64] Carlos Santana, Autlan de Navarro, Mexico, guitarist/pop-rock musician (“Game of Love”, “Smooth”)/tied Michael Jackson’s record for most “Grammy Awards” in a single year by winning 8 in 2000

1964 [47] Chris Cornell, Seattle WA, rock singer (Soundgarden-“Black Hole Sun”, ex-Audioslave-“Be Yourself”)

1966 [45] Stone Gossard, Seattle WA, rock guitarist (Pearl Jam-“The Fixer”, “World Wide Suicide”)

1971 [40] Sandra Oh, Nepean ON, TV actress (‘Dr Cristina Yang’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)/movie actress (“Under the Tuscan Sun”, “Sideways”)

1973 [38] Omar Epps, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (‘Dr Eric Foreman’ on “House MD” since 2004)

1980 [31] Gisele Bundchen, Horizontina, Brazil, highest-paid model in the world since 2004/wed to NFL quarterback Tom Brady (New England Patriots) since 2009

1980 [31] Mike Kennerty, Stillwater OK, rock guitarist (All-American Rejects-“Gives You Hell”, “Dirty Little Secret”)

1988 [23] Julianne Hough, Sandy UT, country singer (“That Song in My Head”)/dancer (2-time “Dancing With the Stars” winner)/Ryan Seacrest’s supposed girlfriend  COMING UP: The movie remake “Footloose” (October 14th); the bigscreen version of the musical “Rock of Ages” (2012).

• “International Chess Day”, an annual observation since 1966 honoring the game that generates challenge, intellectual stimulation, and enjoyment for people of all ages.

• “Fortune Cookie Day” in San Francisco CA, birthplace of the fortune cookie. (All-time worst fortune: “A wise customer tips 20% to avoid severe tire damage.”)

• “Lollipop Day”, celebrating the 1908 invention of the famous candy on a stick. Pieces of hard candy were put on the ends of pencils for kids to nibble much earlier than that, but the treat had no name. So here’s to lollipops! When it comes to yum, you can’t lick ‘em … ‘er actually you can.

• “Moon Day”, the anniversary of the first lunar landing in 1969. Apollo 11 astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first to walk on the Moon as nearly 700 million TV viewers tuned in. Edwin ‘Buzz’ Aldrin joined him later, while Michael Collinsremained orbiting above. A few things you likely didn’t know about the lunar landing …

• “National Baby Food Festival”, the 18th annual through Saturday in Fremont, Michigan, home of Gerber Products. Events include the ‘Baby Food Cook-Off’, the ‘Famous Baby Crawl’, and the ‘Adult Baby Food Eating Contest’.
PHONER: 231.924.2270

• “Special Olympics Day”, a day of awareness of disabled athletes and disability games celebrated on the anniversary of the first ‘Special Olympics’, held in Chicago in 1968.

• “Ugly Truck Day”. Sure a brand new, shiny truck with all the gadgets working is a great thing, but an old ugly truck is something to cherish with pride! Or maybe that’s just a guy thing?

2007 [04] Bigscreen version of the hit Broadway musical “Hairspray” opens in movie theaters

1996 [15] “Blue”, the first major-label album by 13-year-old LeAnn Rimes, debuts at #1 on “Billboard” magazine’s ‘Country Music’ chart & #4 on ‘Pop Album’ chart

2005 [06] Canada becomes the 4th country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage (after the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain)

1919 [92] Hottest day ever recorded in Ontario at 42.2 C or 108 F (tomorrow could be close!)

[Thurs] Junk Food Day
[Fri] Hammock Day
[Fri] “Captain America: The First Avenger”; “Friends With Benefits” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Capital Ex begins (Edmonton)
[Sun] Honda Indy Edmonton
This Week Is … Lumberjack Week
This Month Is … Family Reunion Month


Just before the first moon walk 42 years ago today, Neil Armstrong proclaimed: “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” Thanks goodness he didn’t say …
• “I sure hope Michael Jackson is watching this.”
• “Crap! It’s not made of cheese. I owe Aldrin 10 bucks.”
• “Whoa, are those missiles I see flying out of Russia? Psyche!”
• “Giant steps are what you take, walking on the Moon. I hope my legs don’t break, walking on the Moon.”
• “Cut! I messed that take up.”
• “FIRST! Neaner, neaner, neaner!”

I’m out of my mind … back in 5 minutes.

What are the stinkiest places to live near? (According to a poll in “Almanac Of the Gross”, the top 5 stinkers are: Asphalt-Processing Plant, Waste Incinerator, Wastewater Treatment Plant, Pig Farm, and Paint & Varnish Plant.)

Today’s Question: 3-out-of-4 users believe this electronic device has improved romance at home.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The DVR.

Happy people don’t need to ‘have fun’.

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