Thursday, July 21, 2011     Edition: #4554

Sheeters Always Prosper!

38-year-old “Grey’s Anatomy” star Eric Dane (‘McSteamy’) has voluntarily checked into The Hills rehab center in LA as a ‘preventative measure’ (word has it he had trouble getting off pain medication prescribed for a sports injury) . . . So-called ‘insiders’ claim the Jennifer Lopez-Marc Anthony marriage crashed because he was a ‘controlling husband’ who hated her ‘sex symbol’ status and wanted her to dress in a demure, ‘wife style’ (a macho, domineering Latino male – how odd!) . . . Archie Comics’ first openly gay character has proven so popular, ‘Kevin Keller’ is getting his own spin-off series which will deal with his life at ‘Riverdale High’ (he’s the only character not trying to bang ‘Veronica’) . . . Actress Kate Winslet has signed on as the new face of knitwear label St John for its 2011 autumn ad campaign even though she herself admits she’s ‘obviously not a model’ (BS translation: She eats more than once a month) . . . Speaking of eating, actress Angelina Jolie reveals that 2 of her sons, Maddox (9) and Pax (7), eat crickets ‘like they were Doritos’ (“Brad, can you go to the store? We’re out of cricket dip again!”) . . . “Two-and-a-Half Men” co-stars Ashton Kutcher & Jon Cryer have posed for a new teaser poster for the upcoming 9th season in which they appear nude, discreetly holding a sign that reads: ‘All Will Be Revealed 09.19.11’ . . . 37-year-old Jenna Fischer, who plays ‘Pam’ on “The Office” (NBC), has revealed she’s pregnant with a baby boy via husband Lee Kirk (about a year-and-a-half too late for the storyline!) . . . Actress Denise Richards has praised her ex, Charlie Sheen, for supporting her during the 2-year process of adopting a new baby girl she’s called ‘Eloise’ (she apparently sold the pics & story to “Us Weekly”) . . . 43-year-old sorta actress Pamela Anderson has teamed with lingerie manufacturer Secrets in Lace to create a new hosiery collection called the ‘Pamela Couture Collection’ (just what you need on a hot summer day) . . . And actress Gwyneth Paltrow is blabbing silly again, this time announcing she plans to raise her children as Jewish despite ‘not believing’ in religion (well, her son’s name is ‘Moses’).

• Comic-Con International (San Diego CA) – Day 1 of the 4-day convention of comics enthusiasts is highlighted by a screening of new scenes from the movie “Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1” and an appearance by the cast.
• Country Jam USA (Eau Claire WI) – Headliners for this 3-day annual music bash are Blake Shelton tonight, Martina McBride tomorrow, and Zac Brown Band on Saturday.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Lady Gaga (“Born This Way”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Gavin Rossdale’s reunited rock band Bush (“The Sea of Memories”, coming September 13th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Freddie Gibbs (“Baby-Faced Killa”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Amos Lee (“Mission Bell”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Ziggy Marley (“Wild & Free”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Porcelain Black (“Porcelain Black”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Legendary ‘Queen of Soul’ Aretha Franklin.
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – 3 Doors Down (“Time Of My Life”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – Blush performs w/Snoop Dogg; 2 contestants are sent home.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Nikki Jean (“Pennies In a Jar”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (“I Learned the Hard Way”).

• Cheap Trick – While the classic rockers are happy to be alive after a freak windstorm trashed the stage at the Ottawa Bluesfest last weekend, they’re forced to deal with another result … all their equipment has been crushed or water-damaged, including a one-of-a-kind 5-neck guitar.
• Chris Brown – He’s embroiled in a dispute with his neighbors in an LA condo building, who allege he’s a nuisance, parking his cars in disabled spaces, playing loud music, partying, and … racing dogs up and down the hallways. (Gee, he always seemed like such a nice guy.)
• Luke Bryan – The “Country Girl (Shake It for Me)” singer tells “CMT Offstage” his favorite food is Tim Hortons donuts, but he laments that it’s a Canadian company so you can’t get them in Nashville.
• Pink – While taking time out from her music career to care for her 8-week-old daughter, Willow Sage, the 31-year-old says she’s recently taken up … knitting. (Now there’s an odd mental picture!)
• Queen – This week Roger Taylor has re-released “Dear Mr Murdoch” on iTunes, a 1994 protest song he wrote about News Corp media tycoon Rupert Murdoch, just as the 80-year-old mogul fights to save his embattled empire’s reputation amid the ongoing phone-hacking scandal. (It’s all about timing.)
• Sean Kingston – The 21-year-old has met with investigators to talk over the details of his recent jet ski crash in Miami, Florida, which led to him spending nearly a month in hospital recovering from injuries. (How do you make ‘showing off for a girl’ sound like a credible excuse?)

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Chickenhare” – The graphic novel series that revolves around a half-chicken, half-rabbit who goes on adventures facing monstrous creatures alongside his turtle-shelled sidekick ‘Abe’, is being made into an animated feature film.It’s unknown when the pic will actually screen as the studio has yet to hire a writer or director to tackle the project.
• “Monkeys of Mumbai” – Kevin Lima, who directed Disney’s animated “Tarzan” before moving on to the live-action hits “102 Dalmatians” and “Enchanted”, is returning to his roots by signing on for Disney’s first Bollywood-style animated musical adventure. It’s based on an Indian epic called “The Ramayana”, about a man whose wife is kidnapped by a demon king.
• “One Shot” – Tom Cruise has confirmed he will star in director Christopher McQuarrie’s upcoming crime drama, adapted from the 2005 Lee Child novel of the same name. Cruise will play ‘Jack Reacher’, a homicide investigator who digs deeper into a case involving a trained military sniper who shoots 5 random victims. The film is scheduled to screen in 2013.
• “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” – Ben Stiller will direct & star in a remake of the 1947 Danny Kaye movie based on a 1939 James Thurber short story. It revolves around a spineless magazine proof-reader who creates a fantasy world in which he confidently takes on tough tasks such as becoming a fearless pilot and a brilliant doctor. Shooting begins in January.
• Untitled Phil Spector Biopic – Oscar-winner Helen Mirren is replacing Bette Midler in a new biopic about incarcerated music producer Phil Spector’s 2003 trial for the shooting of actress Lana Clarkson. Midler was forced to pull out of the role of Spector’s attorney, Linda Kenny Braden, due to back problems. The HBO film starring Al Pacino is due in 2012.

A new National Institute on Aging study derived from an examination of over 50 years of data shows that impulsiveness may be the strongest predictor of who will be overweight. People who score in the top 10% for that personality trait weigh an average of 22 lbs more than those in the bottom 10%. Researchers suggest that impulsive people tend to give in to temptation and lack the discipline to stay on track with healthy eating habits. (Ah! Fat people eat more? Thanks for that stunning insight.)

The world’s cheapest car (the $2,500 Nano) is manufactured by the Tata Group. So is the cheapest water filter. Now the Indian company is setting its sights on the housing market with a flatpack home that can be constructed in a week … for $720. The basic 215-sq-ft model consists of coconut fiber or jute walls and interiors. It has a life expectancy of about 20 years. Tata plans to offer a prefab kit that also contains roof, doors, and windows. A larger version with rooftop solar panels and a veranda will also be available. (Sounds like [crap suburb].)

The Museum of Non-Visible Art is an organization that hosts and sells art that exists only in the imagination of the artist. Or, as the people behind the museum prefer to call it, ‘non-visible’. The groups claims that though the artworks themselves are not visible, the descriptions ‘open our eyes to a parallel world built of images and words’. This world is not visible but it is real, they claim, perhaps more real than the world of matter. One piece recently sold for $10,000. (Who started this … PT Barnum?)

A new Columbia University study has shown that our mental abilities may be deteriorating thanks to the easy access we have to online search engines. Bits of knowledge that we intuitively know will be available via Google or Wikipedia don’t get remembered, and instead essentially get replaced with mental links to those resources. (This apparently leaves extra room for the part of our brains that enjoys applying captions to pictures of cats.)
– Cracked .com

The German ad agency Kolle Rebbe has designed ‘Kase Stifte’, chunks of Parmesan cheese shaped like … oversized pencils. The ‘leads’ contain 3 different flavors: Truffles, Pesto, and Chilli. Flakes are shaved off with a manual pencil sharpener which is included. It’s a unique way to measure out the required amount of cheese to be sprinkled on a dish. (Up next: A chunk of asiago that you write with.)

“ABC Evening News” anchor Diane Sawyer got her start on TV delivering weather forecasts in Louisville, Kentucky. She was called the ‘weather bunny’.
– “New York Times”


1926 [85] Norman Jewison, Toronto ON, filmmaker (“The Hurricane”, “Moonstruck”)/Irving G Thalberg Memorial Academy Award (1999)/Companion Of the Order of Canada (1992)/established Canadian Centre for Advanced Film Studies in Toronto (1986)

1948 [63] Garry (Garretson Beakman) Trudeau, NYC, political cartoonist (“Doonesbury”)/Mr Jane Pauley since 1980

1951 [60] Robin Williams, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Night At the Museum” films, Academy Award-“Good Will Hunting”)/standup comedian (Grammy Award-“Robin Williams: Live 2002”)

1957 [54] Jon Lovitz, Tarzana CA, movie actor (“The Producers”, “The Stepford Wives”)/former TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 1985-90)

1972 [39] Paul Brandt (Belobersycky), Calgary AB, country singer (“What I Want to Be Remembered For”, “I Do”)/CMA Global Artist Of the Year (2005)

1978 [33] Josh Hartnett, San Francisco CA, movie actor (“Sin City”. “Hollywood Homicide”)

1984 [27] Johan Carlsson, Gothenburg, Sweden, rock keyboardist (Carolina Liar-“Show Me What I’m Looking For”, “I’m Not Over”)

• Final Space Shuttle return. After NASA’s 13-day final mission in the program, ‘Atlantis’ is scheduled to land at 5:56 am EDT this morning at the Kennedy Space Center’s Shuttle Landing Facility in Florida.

• “Hemingway Days”, the 31st annual festival saluting the noted author in Key West, Florida through July 28th. One highlight is the ‘Hemingway Look-Alike Contest’ which draws greybeards from all over.

• “Junk Food Day”. If your health wasn’t a factor, which junk food would you chow down on every chance you got: Burgers, Pizza, Hot Dogs, Tacos, Fries, Chocolate?

2007 [04] JK Rowling’s “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows” is published, the 7th and final book in the record-selling 10-year series

1971 [40] Carole King is awarded a gold album for “Tapestry” (which remains on the album chart for 292 weeks … over 5-and-a-half years!)

1991 [20] Former Chicago Cubs pitcher Ferguson Jenkins (Chatham ON) becomes 1st Canadian inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown NY

1996 [15] Record for ‘Group Spaghetti-Eating’ is set as 3,000 residents of Alkbissola Marina, Italy consume 300 kg (662 lbs) of pasta, cooked in a single pot and topped with 200 kg (440 lbs) of tomato sauce

[Fri] Hammock Day
[Fri] “Captain America: The First Avenger”; “Friends With Benefits” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Capital Ex begins (Edmonton)
[Sun] Honda Indy Edmonton
[Sun] Cousins Day
[Sun] Day Of the Cowboy
[Sun] Drive-Thru Day
[Sun] Tell an Old Joke Day
This Week Is … Restless Leg Syndrome Education & Awareness Week
This Month Is … Horseradish Month


You run down the list while a listener/studio guest rates each as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’ …
• Aging rockers who won’t retire.
• Google-Plus, yet another social network.
• Room fresheners that you plug into an electrical outlet.
• Toasted marshmallows.
• GPS systems in cars.
• Practical jokes in the workplace.
• Ride ‘em lawnmowers.
• Movie remakes.
• Naming children after celebrities.
• Guys with shaved heads.

‘Strength’ is the ability to break a chocolate bar into 4 pieces with your bare hands … and then eat just one.

Which relation are Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II & her husband Prince Philip?
a. 1st Cousins.
b. 2nd Cousins. [CORRECT. Also 3rd, 4th, and 5th cousins.]
c. 6th Cousins.

It’s scientifically possible. Should we be able to choose the gender of our babies?

Today’s Question: 30% of women in a recent poll say they inherited THIS trait from their father.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their temper.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word-for-word what you shouldn’t have said.

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