Thursday, July 21, 2016 – Edition: #5779

Sheeters Always Prosper!

★ Stephenie Meyer, author of the best-selling “Twilight Saga” novels, will publish her first thriller on November 15th. “The Chemist” introduces a former secret agent forced to go on the run, hiding from members of the government who fear she knows too much. It will be Meyer’s 2nd adult novel. In 2008, she published “The Host”, an alien-invasion story that debuted atop bestseller lists and was adapted for a 2013 film.
★ Netflix is banking on another season of its hit crime documentary “Making a Murderer”. The new installments will take fans of the acclaimed series back inside the story of convicted murderer Steven Avery and his co-defendant, Brendan Dassey, as their respective investigative and legal teams challenge their convictions. This next chapter will provide an in-depth look at the high-stakes post-conviction process. A premiere date for Season 2 is yet to be announced.
★ Paris Hilton is getting ready to launch a new line of luxury hotels, following in the footsteps of her great-grandfather, Conrad Hilton, who launched the Hilton hotel chain and its subsidiaries. The 35-year-old is planning to start her own hospitality brand and has already chosen 3 cities to start her venture. A report says she’s picked Dubai UAE, NYC, and Las Vegas NV, 3 of her favorite places to visit. A launch date is yet to be revealed.
– “Forbes”
★ And Pokémon Go – the game that’s sent Nintendo’s value soaring past Sony – finally launched in Japan yesterday … with a new twist. The Japanese version includes sponsored locations, starting with McDonald’s. McDonald’s fast-food outlets are either in-game gyms, where players can battle for control of that particular spot on the map, or Pokéstops. For McDonald’s, which has about 3,000 locations in Japan, the move could be a lucrative one as the game has already demonstrated a serious ability to drive people to given locations.

• “Ancient Aliens” (Viceland) – Rapper Action Bronson (“All I Think About”) fronts the new season of the show that seeks evidence of other life forms. The 10-episode series includes guest appearances by Melissa Etheridge, ScHoolboy Q, and Tyler The Creator.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Weird Al Yankovic (“Mandatory Fun”).
• Country Jam USA (Eau Claire WI) – This 27th annual 3-day country music event includes The Band Perry, Cole Swindell, Eli Young Band, Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean, Jake Owen, Thomas Rhett, A Thousand Horses and others.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Elton John (“Wonderful Crazy Night”). Rerun.
• “Greatest Hits” (ABC) – Appearances by Andra Day, Alessia Cara, Bonnie Raitt, Boyz II Men, En Vogue, Little Big Town, Montell Jordan, and Seal.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Colin Hay (ex-Men at Work).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Garfunkel & Oates (“All Over Your Face”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Against Me! drummer Atom Willard.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Avant-rock icon Neko Case, Canadian musical nomad kd lang, and indie folk star Laura Veirs (“case/lang/veirs”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Céline Dion (“Encore un soir”, out August 26th).

• Carrie Underwood – “Church Bells” has moved up to #1 on the ‘Billboard Country Airplay’ chart after a 16-week ascent. It is her 16th chart-topping single.
• Kesha – She’s announced she’s returning to the road this Summer. Billed as Kesha & The Creepies, 7 shows in August have been announced thus far.
• Kid Rock – Tonight he performs at “Cleveland Rocks 2016” in conjunction with the Republican National Convention, with proceeds going to the Green Beret Foundation, the Folded Flag Foundation, the Guardians of Heroes Foundation, and Ohio Fallen Heroes.
• Lady Gaga – She’s confirmed she & actor-fiancé Taylor Kinney are “taking a break” (BS translation: Their 5 year relationship is kaput). Gaga was seen without her engagement ring last week in Malibu CA, the same day Taylor celebrated his 35th birthday. No word on who’s getting custody of their 2 French bulldogs.
• Muse – They’ve cancelled their planned concert in Turkey next week following the attempted military coup over the weekend.
• Sum 41 – Deryck Whibley says his reunion with guitarist Dave Baksh felt right from the very start. The reunited band is currently working on a 6th studio album, “13 Voices”, which is due this October.

A BS selection movies in the making …
• “Emoji Movie: Express Yourself” – 35-year-old actor-comedian TJ Miller (“Silicon Valley”) is set to star, providing the voice for lead character ‘Gene’, who was supposed to be a ‘meh’ emoji like his parents. However, the optimistic emoji has a problem that causes him to have multiple expressions outside of his control. No other casting for the 2017 film has been announced yet.
• “Cooley High” – Common (“Suicide Squad”) has signed on to produce and star in this remake of a 1975 coming-of-age drama set in Chicago IL. The story focuses on the antics of a pair of high school seniors who are best friends during the final weeks of the school year. Common is a native of Chicago who broke into entertainment as a rapper and hip hop artist.
• “Rise Of the Tomb Raider” – 27-year-old actress Alicia Vikander plays ‘Lara Croft’ in this upcoming reboot. She’ll star as the adventurous archaeologist in the action film, which tells the origin story of the famous videogame character. Angelina Jolie played the role in the original 2001 movie adaptation as well as 2003’s “Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life”.
• “Star Trek 4” – Paramount Pictures has already announced another installment of the rebooted franchise. The next chapter focuses on Chris Pine’s ‘Captain Kirk’ crossing paths with the father he never met (Chris Hemsworth as ‘George Kirk’). Producer JJ Abrams says the late Anton Yelchin’s role in the sci-fi franchise will not be re-cast. No release date is announced.
• Unnamed Gianni Versace Movie – 55-year-old actor Antonio Banderas is set to play the late Italian fashion designer and founder of the House of Versace in a bio-film helmed by Danish director Bille August. A rep for the Versace brand says it has not authorized the film and does not have any involvement in the production. The project begins shooting in December.

No A/C? No problem!
✓ Freeze Your Sheets – Place them in a plastic bag and pop them in the freezer for about 10 minutes before you’re ready to go to bed.
✓ Ice Yourself – Rubbing ice cubes on areas where you are thin-skinned will cool you down quickly. Think wrists, eyelids, neck, temples.
✓ Cold Water Bottle – Fill your hot water bottle with cold water and ice cubes and you’ll have a ready-made cooling aid to keep your temperature down.
✓ Wet the Bed – Um, not that way. Lightly dampen your sheets with a sprayer. It’s best to lay a towel or two underneath the damp sheet.
✓ Take a Cold Shower – You don’t even need to dry yourself off much. It will feel fabulous when air from the fan hits you.
✓ Get Grounded – The higher up you are, the hotter you will feel. If there is a way to sleep low to the ground, embrace it! Even if it means laying a duvet on the floor.
✓ Kick Him Out – You might want to consider sleeping apart on hot nights. Save the Summer lovin’ for warm afternoons when you are happy to get sweaty and sticky. (And your tip is?)
– Adapted from

In 2009, Manhattan’s ‘The High Line’ opened, a green space transformed from an unused section of elevated railroad track. And now ‘The Lowline’ may become a thing. The idea for an underground park has just gotten the go-ahead from the NYC Economic Development Corporation. Remote skylight solar tech could allow enough natural sunlight for photosynthesis, meaning plants could prosper. Channeling sunlight the way ancient Egyptian did in tombs, the project could be sited in a disused portion of the subway system on Manhattan’s Lower East Side that was closed to the public in 1948 and never used again. The park’s opening date is projected to be in 2021. (Not a place you wanna be stuck after dark.)

Fed by the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, vast and remote wetlands in southern Iraq along the border with Iran that are considered to be the biblical “Garden of Eden” have just been named a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The locations is among 12 new sites added to the list this year. Others include the Pampulha Modern Ensemble urban project in Brazil, the Antigua Naval Dockyard and related archaeological sites in Antigua and Barbuda, and the Khangchendzonga National Park in India. The UN’s prestigious ecological preservation list now consists of 1,052 sites notable for their ‘outstanding universal value’. UNESCO has been adding to the listing since 1978. (We’d like protected status for that fishing hole over on RR#3 Concession 12.)

Back in 2009, a science professor and his students at Oregon State University were mixing chemicals and heating them to temperatures above 2,000 degrees when they accidentally created … a new color. The happy accident occurred during an attempt to find new materials for use in electronics when a grad student extracted a mix from the furnace and saw a brilliant blue. It turns out it’s the first new shade of blue to be discovered in 2 centuries. The team named the blue ‘YInMn’ for the elements it comprises – yttrium, indium, and manganese – and it has just become commercially available as paint via Ohio-based Shepherd Color Co. (No offence, but you need a catchier name, guys … maybe ‘Cookie Monster Blue’?.)
– “Quartz”

Australia has a town called Humpty Doo. (People who live there are called …?)


1957 [59] Jon Lovitz, Tarzana CA, movie actor (“Hotel Transylvania 2”, “Grown Ups 2”)/former TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 1985-90)

1970 [46] Alysia Reiner, Gainsville FL, TV actress (‘Natalie Figueroa’ on “Orange Is the New Black” since 2013)

1970 [46] Michael Fitzpatrick, Montluçon, France, neo-soul/indie pop singer (Fitz & The Tantrums-“The Walker”, “Out of My League”)

1972 [44] Paul Brandt (Belobersycky), Calgary AB, country singer (“Get a Bed”, “I Do”)

1978 [38] Josh Hartnett, San Francisco CA, TV actor (“Penny Dreadful” 2014-16)/movie actor (“Hollywood Homicide”, “Black Hawk Down”)

1978 [38] Brad Mates, Grande Prairie AB country singer (Emerson Drive-“Who We Are”, “Moments”)

• “Crème Brûlée Day”, saluting the yummy French dessert consisting of a rich custard base topped with a contrasting layer of hard caramel. It’s normally served at room temperature.

• “Hemingway Days”, the 36th annual festival saluting the noted author in Key West FL through Sunday. A highlight is the ‘Hemingway Look-Alike Contest’ which draws greybeards from all over. (Today is the 117th anniversary of Hemingway’s 1899 birth date.)

• “Junk Food Day”. If your health wasn’t a factor, which junk food would you chow down on every chance you got: Burgers, Pizza, Hot Dogs, Tacos, Fries, Chocolate?

• “No Pet Store Puppies Day”, the 6th annual initiated by the SPCA to educate the public about the connection between pet stores and ‘puppy mills’, commercial dog breeding facilities where the emphasis in on profit, not animal welfare.

2007 [09] Sharon Osbourne’s music mogul father Don Arden dies in an LA nursing home at age 81 (the ‘Al Capone of Pop’ steered Small Faces, Black Sabbath, and ELO to stardom)

2013 [03] Kenyan-born Brit cyclist Chris Froome wins the title in his 1st time competing in the Tour de France (also wins in 2015 and is the current 2016 leader)

2011 [05] NASA’s Space Shuttle program ends with the landing of the shuttle ‘Atlantis’ after mission STS-135

2012 [04] After 5 years, Turkish adventurer Erden Eruç completes the only solo human-powered circumnavigation of the world (hiking, using rowboats, kayaks, bicycles, etc)

[Fri] “Ice Age: Collision Course”; “Star Trek Beyond” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Way Home Music & Arts Fest begins (Barrie ON)
[Sat] Hot Enough For Ya Day
[Sun] Tequila Day
This Week Is … Everybody Deserves a Massage Week
This Month Is … Vacation Rental Month


Use ’em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – You will put your best foot forward this morning, though you’ll still have to drag the other frightening mass of flesh and bone behind it.
• Taurus – After years of hesitation, you’ll finally come out of your shell this week, falling prey almost immediately to a swooping falcon attack.
• Gemini – You shall drink from the fountain of wisdom this week, repeatedly missing your big dumb mouth, and completely soaking your ridiculous shirt.
• Cancer – You may think your peers have lost all respect for you, but fear not … it’s impossible to lose something that never really existed.
• Leo – You will scream the name of a loved one from the rooftops this week. Unfortunately for you, she’ll still refuse to let you back into the apartment.
• Virgo – Try not to worry about things over which you have no control. For an ineffectual slob such as yourself, this means just about everything.
• Libra – You’ll fail to pull yourself up by your bootstraps this week when your boots become tangled in the traffic helicopter’s landing skids.
• Scorpio – You’ve always been a lightning rod for controversy, but it gets worse this weekend at the golf course when you become an actual lightning rod.
• Sagittarius – The whole world will hold its breath this weekend while you engage in a life-and-death struggle with heartburn.
• Capricorn – Pretty soon you’re going to have to sit down and ask yourself some very important questions. In particular … “Why?”
• Aquarius – You will achieve a certain kind of fame when you discover several more steps to add to your 12-Step Program.
• Pisces – Smile! Somebody out there loves you. On second thought, don’t smile.
– Adapted from

His idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name.

4% of drivers admit they have done which of the following during their morning commute?
a. Plucked their eyebrows.
b. Gotten out of their car to confront someone. [CORRECT]
c. Religiously followed the speed limit.

☎ Describe your perfect day … in 3 words.

Question: There are 177,147 ways to do THIS.
Answer: Tie a tie.

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

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