WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Actor Christian Bale, who plays ‘Batman’ in “The Dark Knight Rises”, has expressed horror and grief for the victims of Friday’s shooting spree that left 12 dead in a Colorado movie theater at a midnight showing of his new film. “Words cannot express the horror that I feel”, he says in a statement released Saturday by his spokeswoman. (Will the tragedy hurt the film or just cause even more publicity?)
– Reuters.com
• There’s no arguing that the Summer of ‘12 is likely to go down in movie-going history as one of the most super on record … particularly where superheroes are concerned. Between them, “The Avengers”, “The Amazing Spider-Man” and new arrival “The Dark Knight Rises” are certain to rake in well over $1 billion between them in North America alone.
– QMI Agency
• Family & friends mourned the son of movie star Sylvester Stallone at a private funeral on Saturday. 36-year-old Sage Stallone was found dead in his Studio City, California apartment July 13th. The official cause of death is still undetermined pending toxicology results, which could take weeks. Sage was the younger of 2 sons Stallone had with his 1st wife, Sasha Czack; he fathered 3 other children with his 3rd wife, Jennifer Flavin.
– People.com
• Saturday a missing persons report was filed at the LA County Sheriff’s Office after members of the Jackson clan were unable to get in touch with family matriarch Katherine for a week. Michael Jackson’s teenage daughter Paris took to Twitter to ask followers to contact authorities with any sightings of her grandmother. But now Jermaine Jackson is saying there’s no problem, insisting the 82-year-old is ‘fine’ and ‘resting up’ in Arizona on the orders of a doctor. Katherine is believed to be in the middle of a dispute over the family’s financial affairs.
– WENN.com
• Sorta actress Lindsay Lohan says she wants to team up onscreen with “The Hunger Games” star Jennifer Lawrence for an ultra-violent version of “Thelma & Louise”. In a tweet post, Lohan writes, “Jennifer Lawrence in ‘The Hunger Games’ is genius. I want to do Thelma & Louise with her but à la ‘Natural Born Killers’. Thoughts?” (Well yes, actually …. naw.)
– “Jam! Showbiz”
• And 70-something actor-comedian Fred Willard has been offered the chance to avoid prosecution for suspicion of lewd conduct  if he enrols in a counseling course. Willard has maintained his innocence after being arrested for allegedly ‘over-enjoying’ an adult movie at Hollywood’s Tiki Theater. The incident has already cost Willard his latest gig as narrator on the PBS-TV reality show “Market Warriors”. (We always thought he was a bit of a jerk-off.)
– ContactMusic.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – The Head & The Heart (“The Head & The Heart”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – R Kelly (“Write Me Back”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Rufus Wainwright (“Out Of the Game”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Aretha Franklin (“A Woman Falling Out of Love”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bob Dylan – A New Jersey woman who’s discovered she might own the electric guitar Dylan plugged in and played at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival is considering selling the fabled instrument. Dylan’s aides insist Dawn Peterson’s find can’t be the one on which the folk-rock legend first ‘went electric’, because Dylan still owns the axe. But experts on TV show “History Detectives” beg to differ, suggesting the instrument could fetch more than $1 million at auction.
• Carrie Underwood – She’s going to be on Aerosmith’s new album “Music From Another Dimension”, due this November, in a yet-to-be-identified duet. They first sang together at the 2011 “ACM Awards”. They’ve also performed together on “CMT Crossroads”.
• Eli Young Band – They’ve taken over top spot on this week’s “Billboard” magazine ‘Country Songs’ chart with “Even If It Breaks Your Heart”.
• Michael Bublé – He and Mary J Blige have been signed up as advisors for the upcoming 3rd season of “The Voice” (NBC), debuting September 10th. Bublé will work with Blake Shelton’s team; Blige with Adam Levine’s.
• Usher – His stepson Kile Glover has died after his parents agreed to take the child off life support 21 days after he was declared brain dead following a jet-ski accident on Georgia’s Lake Lanier. The 11-year-old was the son of Usher’s ex-wife Tameka Foster.
• The Who – If you still have a ticket to their 1979 Providence, Rhode Island gig canceled due to safety concerns you’re in luck! Those tickets will be honored when the band returns to the city on February 26, 2013. Back in 1979, The Who’s most expensive concert ticket cost $14.

A BOSS TO LOVE:
CEOs earning millions in bonuses is not unusual, but what the CEO of China-based technology company Lenovo did with his certainly is. Yang Yuanqing distributed $3 million from his bonus among 10,000 junior-level employees, including receptionists, production-line workers, and assistants. Each received an average bonus of 2,000 yuan ($314) in the name of the boss.  Yang received the $3-million boost in bonus after the company had its best-ever fiscal year. The $30-billion company experienced a 73% bump in net profit from the previous year. Yang’s total earnings, including salary, incentives and other benefits, amounted to $14 million. (If more CEOs gave 20% to employees, they wouldn’t be considered such money-grubbing jerks.)
– CNN.com

TRACKING THE TEAM:
Major League Soccer (MLS) is set to become the world’s most hi-tech sports league by installing sensors in players’ uniforms to track their movements and their health. The system, called ‘miCoach’, uses a data cell that slides into a uniform pocket between the shoulder blades and sensors built into the uniform’s fabric to sense heart rate and other vital signs. The gizmo will allow iPad-equipped coaches a new way to monitor where players are on the field and how well they’re covering the ground, as well as giving them real-time health updates. The first demo of the tech is planned for this Wednesday’s MLS game in Philadelphia, with an expected rollout to all players for the 2013 season. (“Donatelli, the printout says you’re only giving 109% …”)
– PopSci.com

VIBRATING GLOVE:
The ‘Mobile Music Touch’ system developed at Georgia Institute of Technology will teach you how to play the piano. It uses a glove with a small box on the back that vibrates the user’s fingers to indicate which piano keys to play. The MMT system connects to a computer, MP3 player, or smartphone. After a song is programmed in, the device is wirelessly linked to the glove. As the musical notes are illuminated on a special piano keyboard, the gadget sends simultaneous vibrations to ‘tap’ the corresponding fingers. Researchers hope the system can also be used to help people with spinal injuries recover sensation. (Do drummers get a pair?)
– GaTech.edu

REALLY STRANGE SPORTS NO LONGER IN THE OLYMPICS:
✗ Croquet – The popular lawn pastime was the 1st Olympic event in which women participated, but the game’s tenure was limited to a one-time-only appearance in Paris in 1900.
✗ Distance Plunging –  An event only in 1904, competitors dove into the pool and coasted underwater without moving limbs. After 60 seconds (or when they floated to the surface), the distance they’d drifted was measured.
✗ Dueling Pistols – During the unofficial 1906 Intercalated Games held in Athens, contestants shot at plaster dummies dressed in frock coats from a distance of 20 or 30 meters.
✗ Horse Long Jump – Horses were given the chance to show off how far they could leap in the 1900 Paris games. Surprisingly, not as far as a human … likely why the event quickly died.
✗ Live Pigeon Shooting – Live birds were held and released as athletes took aim at the moving targets. Reportedly more than 300 birds were killed in the event during the 1900 Paris games.
✗ Rope Climb – While competitors were originally judged on both speed and style, 20th century participants merely had to race to the top. An event from 1896-1932.
✗ Solo Synchronized Swimming – How can one person be synchronized? Supporters claim that the synchronization was with the music. The event debuted in 1984 and lasted until 1992.
✗ Tug-of-War – An event from 1900-20, official rules stipulated that an 8-man team had to pull their opponents 6 feet to win. If neither side did, the team that made the most progress won.
– TIME.com

WATCH YOUR ASP:
The Australian Sex Party is an Australian political party founded in 2009 in response to concerns over the influence of religion in politics. The party was born out of the adult-industry lobby group, Eros Association. Party leader Fiona Patten describes the party as a ‘civil libertarian alternative’. Patten is a veteran campaigner on issues such as censorship, equality, and discrimination. Patten contested the 2012 Melbourne state by-election on Saturday and seems to have come 3rd out of 16 candidates, receiving 6.6% of the vote. (94% of people didn’t vote for Sex?)
– TheAge.com.au

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Mexicans drink more bottled water per capita than any other country. (Seems they don’t drink the local water either.)
– “New York Times”
• Seabirds can identify their relatives by sniffing them. (We can smell grandma from across the room too.)
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 07.23.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1961 [51] Woody Harrelson, Midland TX, movie actor (“No Country For Old Men”, “White Men Can’t Jump”)/former TV actor (1989 Emmy Award-“Cheers”)  COMING UP: “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” (2013)

1965 [47] Slash (Saul Hudson), Shiplake Bottom UK, rock guitarist (“Slash”, ex-Velvet Revolver-“Slither”, ex-Guns N’ Roses-“Sweet Child O’ Mine”)

1967 [45] Philip Seymour Hoffman, Fairport NY, movie actor (“Moneyball”, 2006 Academy Award-“Capote”)

1971 [41] Alison Krauss, Decatur IL, country/bluegrass musician-singer-songwriter-producer (“Paper Airplane”, w/Robert Plant-“Raising Sand”)/27 Grammy Awards, more than any other female artist

1976 [36] Jonathan Gallant, Mississauga ON, rock bassist (Billy Talent-“Rusted From the Rain”, “Surrender”)

1981 [31] Steve Jocz, Ajax ON, rock drummer-guitarist-vocalist (Sum 41-“Screaming Bloody Murder”, “Still Waiting”)

1982 [30] Paul Wesley (Wasilewski), New Brunswick NJ, TV actor (‘Stefan Salvatore’ on “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009)

1989 [23] Daniel Radcliffe, London UK, movie actor (‘Harry’ in the “Harry Potter” films)/Broadway actor (“How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”, “Equus”)

1990 [22] Neil Perry, Ridgeland MS, country music drummer (The Band Perry -“All Your Life”, “If I Die Young”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Gorgeous Grandma Day”, honoring every kid’s favorite spoiler. (Kind of a creepy name when you think about it.)

• “Hot Dog Day”, celebrating one of the most favorite Summer sandwiches. It is only fitting that this dog gets its day.  (Otherwise what would they do with all the animal lips and eyelids?)

• “Hot Enough For Ya? Day”, when it should be legal to assault anyone who asks you that overused, plain-as-the-end-of-your-sweat-dripping-nose question.

• “Vanilla Ice Cream Day”, celebrating the favorite flavor of the masses … by far.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007 [05] Comedian Drew Carey is signed to replace retiring game show legend Bob Barker on CBS-TV’s “The Price is Right”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1988 [24] Guns N’ Roses rock anthem “Sweet Child O’ Mine” hits #1 (since voted onto all-time greatest lists by “Rolling Stone”, “Blender”, the RIAA, and the BBC)

2011 [01] British singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse dies of alcohol poisoning (her album “Back to Black” subsequently becomes the UK’s best-selling album of the 21st century)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1982 [30] Introduction of ‘Diet Coke’ (the sensible accompaniment to your whopper & fries)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [12] Tiger Woods wins the “British Open” to become the youngest golfer (24) to win a career ‘Grand Slam’ of golf (The Masters, PGA Championship, US Open, and British Open)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Cousins Day
[Tues] Drive-Thru Day
[Tues] Tequila Day
[Tues] Tell an Old Joke Day
[Wed] Be Adamant About Something Day
[Wed] Carousel Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Animal Agriculture Week / Restless Leg Syndrome Education & Awareness Week / Ventriloquism Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS PLAYS SHAKESPEARE CHOSE NOT TO PUBLISH:
✗ “Stratford-upon-Avon 90210”
✗ “Hamlet II – Where the Hell Is Everybody?”
✗ “King Gump”
✗ “Fast Times at Verona High”
✗ “Henry VIII, I Am, I Am …”
✗ “Six Degrees of Francis Bacon”
✗ “Romeo & Steve”
✗ “Booty Calleth”
– First published in “BS” 1997.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
It’s always good to explore all of your options before making the wrong decision.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
It’s height can vary by as much as 6 inches, depending on the temperature. Which is it?
a. The Eiffel Tower [CORRECT]
b. The Empire State Building.
c. LeBron James.
– Yahoo! Trivia

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What music act did you follow passionately as a teen that you’re now embarrassed about?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Over a quarter of telecommuters admit they’ve done THIS while working from home.
Answer: Taken a nap.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Compassion is the basis of all morality.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Jack Diamond @ MIX 107.3 [WRQX] Washington DC; Ray Zinck @ The Wave [CJLS] Yarmouth, Nova Scotia; Brian Shayne @ The Port [CFNI] Port Hardy, British Columbia; Doug Dodds @ Sonoma County’s Country [KTRY] Santa Rosa, California; Jim Berry @ Easy 101.3 [KFEZ] Colorado Springs, Colorado; and Andrew Price @ More FM, Otago, New Zealand.