Friday, July 24, 2015        Edition: #5502

Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

★ Kanye West has a wider vocabulary than Bob Dylan. In fact, the songwriting vocabularies of The Beatles, Michael Jackson, and Taylor Swift are all dwarfed by hip-hop stars according to research by searchable lyrics catalogue service Musixmatch. It’s compiled the 100 most linguistically dense songs of the top all-time recording artists, then compared the word count, unique word use, and how often new words are used to find the artists with the widest vocabularies. And the winner is … Eminem. Mariah Carey and The Who, on the other hand, are among the artists with the lowest musical vocabulary. More artists listed here …
– “The Telegraph”
★ Well, it had to happen didn’t it? A 4th (fourth!?!) “Sharknado” movie is already in the pipeline according to the Syfy network, but there will be a twist to the next one. Just as “Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!” finished airing this week, the network tweeted that not only would there be another installment to the so-bad-it’s-good schlockfest franchise, but that viewers get to decide if Tara Reid’s character ‘April Wexler’ lives or dies from the large piece of Space Shuttle debris hurtling toward her at the very end of Episode 3. Fans can vote using the hashtags #AprilLives or #AprilDies on Twitter, or at the official “Sharknado” website …
★ The Roots’ Ahmir ‘Questlove’ Thompson and Tariq ‘Black Thought’ Trotter have signed on as executive producers of the soundtrack album for the Broadway show “Hamilton”. The hip-hop musical, which focuses on the life of US founding father Alexander Hamilton, is currently in previews in NYC, and Questlove says, “Ten minutes into ‘Hamilton’ … I was just so stunned. It was such a sucker punch.” The stage production officially opens August 6th and “Hamilton (Original Broadway Cast Recording)” arrives the following day.
• And tonight Jennifer Lawrence is set to take on Julianne Moore’s role as ‘Maude Lebowski’ in a live reading of the 1998 cult classic movie “The Big Lebowski” at the “Just For Laughs” comedy festival in Montréal QC. Filmmaker Jason Reitman (“Juno”), who frequently directs live reads of hit movies, was able to land the Oscar-winning actress as she’s already in town shooting “X-Men: Apocalypse”. He’d already recruited Michael Fassbender to take on the iconic lead role of ‘The Dude’, originally played by Jeff Bridges. Then Fassbender convinced “X-Men” co-star Olivia Munn to join the live read as ‘Bunny Lebowski’, originally played by Tara Reid.
– “Entertainment Weekly”

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Tonight Heidi Klum invites guest judge Michael Bublé to the panel to help narrow down the field. Rerun.
• Fuji Rock Festival (Yuzawa) – The 3-day 19th edition at Naeba Ski Resort has Foo Fighters, Muse, Motorhead, Of Monsters & Men, and Ryan Adams among over 200 acts scheduled.
• “Good Morning America”(ABC) – This morning Nicki Minaj (“The Pinkprint”) performs.
• “I Am Cait” (E!) – Sunday the new reality TV series following the transformation of the former Bruce Jenner debuts. The 8-episode docu-series shows Caitlyn Jenner living her life as a transgender woman. In order to make it a little less of a circus, none of her children from 3 marriages will be taking part. In fact, word has it this is a very serious series.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Tori Kelly (“Unbreakable Smile”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Above & Beyond (“We Are All We Need”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Nate Ruess (“Grand Romantic”).
• Newport Folk Festival (Newport RI) – The famed fest, which has hosted icons like Billie Holiday, Duke Ellington, and Miles Davis, celebrated its 60th anniversary last year. This year’s lineup includes Brandi Carlile, The Decemberists, Iron & Wine, Roger Waters, and Sufjan Stevens. A special “’65 Revisited” celebration closes the 3-day event, marking the 50th anniversary of Bob Dylan ‘going electric’ at the 1965 festival. The Fender Stratocaster guitar Dylan used that day went up for auction in 2013 … and sold for $965,000.
• Pan Am Games (Toronto ON) – Sunday Kanye West headlines the Pan American Games closing ceremony at Rogers Centre. Also performing: Pitbull and Toronto native Serena Ryder.
• “Today” (NBC) – This morning Andy Grammer (“Magazines or Novels”) performs.
• Wayhome Music & Arts Festival (Barrie ON) – The inaugural 3-day festival at Burl’s Creek Event Grounds is headlined by Neil Young & Promise of the Real, Sam Smith, Kendrick Lamar, Alt-J, Modest Mouse, and Hozier. Also in the lineup: The Decemberists, Passion Pit, St Vincent, The Sheepdogs, Walk the Moon, and Vance Joy among the 70+ acts on 4 stages.

• Ashley Monroe – Today the 28-year-old singer-songwriter releases her 2nd album, “The Blade”. It’s produced by Justin Niebank and her close friend & mentor Vince Gill, the same team that helmed her 2013 debut “Like a Rose”.
• Faith No More – They return to North America for a midsummer tour starting Sunday in Austin TX. The string of dates in support of their latest album “Sol Invictus” runs through August 7th in Toronto ON.
• Jill Scott – Today she releases her 5th album, “Woman”, her first since 2011. She’s touring extensively this Summer in support of the project (ie: Cincinnati Music Festival on Saturday), and has 3 tour dates in Australia coming up in October.
• Kanye West – Saturday he debuts a long-form music video that was shot by “12 Years a Slave” director Steve McQueen. The extended music video debuts at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art where it screens for 4 days. The video features 2 songs from his upcoming album: “All Day”, and the previously unheard track “I Feel Like That”.
• Keith Urban – His actress-wife Nicole Kidman is on the cover of the August issue of “Vogue”. Inside she reveals that her favorite Keith song is “Raise ‘Em Up”; that she wishes she could sing opera; and that she thinks the best way to decompress is making love.
• Madonna – She tells AP she thinks artists deep into their careers should stop if they don’t have anything left to say. But at 56, she wants to keep going and says she feels like Pablo Picasso, who painted until the day he died.
• Miguel – Tonight in Austin TX he embarks on a Summer tour of North America in support of his latest album “Wildheart”. Dates are slotted through September 27th in Washington DC.
• “Southpaw” – Both the soundtrack and film debut today. The soundtrack includes Eminem’s “Phenomenal” and “Kings Never Die” by Eminem f/Gwen Stefani, along with tracks from Notorious BIG, The Weeknd and more.

• “Paper Towns” ( PG-13 Mystery Drama ): A young man and a group of his friends embark upon the road trip of their lives in order to find the missing girl that lives next door. Stars Austin Abrams, model-turned-actress Cara Delevingne, Justice Smith, and Nat Wolff. Based on the Young Adult book of the same name by author John Green (“The Fault in Our Stars”).
• “Pixels” ( PG-13 Action Comedy ): When aliens misinterpret video feeds of classic arcade games (ie: “Pac-Man”) as a declaration of war, they attack Earth in the form of videogame characters. The live-action cast includes Adam Sandler, Josh Gad, Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan, Peter Dinklage. Cameos by Hall & Oates, Martha Stewart, Serena Williams.
• “Southpaw” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Jake Gyllenhaal plays troubled boxer ‘Billy Hope’, who turns to trainer ‘Tick Willis’ (Forest Whitaker) to help him get his life back on track after losing his wife (Rachel McAdams ) in a tragic accident and his daughter (12-year-old Tony-winning actress Oona Laurence) to child protection services.
• Opening in limited release: “Big Significant Things” (Dramedy); “Phoenix” (Historical Drama); “Samba” (Dramedy); “Unexpected” (Dramedy); and “The Vatican Tapes” (Horror Thriller).

There’s a new cocktail bar in Britain that lets you inhale booze instead of drinking it. London’s latest pop-up, a walk-in cloud bar called ‘Alcoholic Architecture’, is the brainchild of culinary experiential firm Bompas & Parr. It promises a ‘fully immersive alcohol environment’. Spirits and mixers are turned into a fine cocktail cloud with the help of powerful humidifiers that super-saturate the air. And with humidity set at around 140%, patrons easily absorb the booze fog through mucus membranes, primarily in the lungs and eyeballs. Bypassing the liver means guests get drunk more quickly, so they’re limited to a 1-hour visit. The bar launches in London’s Borough Market July 31st and will be open for 6 months. It costs £10 (about $15) per session. (You can honestly tell the cop who pulls you over, “I haven’t had a single sip, occifer.”)

There may be no sound in space, but it does have a distinct smell … a bouquet of diesel fumes, gunpowder, and barbecue. The aroma is mostly produced by dying stars.


1968 [47] Kristin Chenoweth, Broken Arrow OK, 4′-11″ TV actress (“The Good Wife” 2012, “Glee” 2009-11)/movie actress (“The Boy Next Door”)/Broadway actress (“Wicked”)

1969 [46] Jennifer Lopez, Bronx NY, pop singer (“On the Floor”)/TV personality (“American Idol” 2011-12, 2014-15)/movie actress (“The Boy Next Door”)

1975 [40] Eric Szmanda, Milwaukee WI, TV actor (‘Greg Sanders’ on “CSI” 2000-15)

1982 [33] Elisabeth Moss, LA CA, TV actress (‘Peggy Olson’ on “Mad Men” 2007-15, “The West Wing” 1999-2006)

1982 [33] Anna Paquin, Winnipeg MB [raised Wellington NZ], TV actress (“True Blood” 2008-14)/movie actress (“X-Men” films, 1994 Oscar-“The Piano”)

1990 [25] Jay McGuiness, Newark UK, boy-band pop singer (The Wanted-“Chasing the Sun”, “Glad You Came”)

TV/movie actor Matt LeBlanc (“Friends”) is 48; TV actor Jay R Ferguson (“Mad Men”) is 41; Fashion model Heather Marks (Victoria’s Secret) is 27.

Classic rocker Mick Jagger (Rolling Stones) is 72; Movie actress Helen Mirren (“The Queen”) is 70; Classic rock drummer Roger Taylor (Queen) is 66; TV/movie actor Kevin Spacey (“House of Cards”) is 56; Movie star Sandra Bullock (“Gravity”) is 51; Movie/TV actor Jeremy Piven (“Entourage”) is 50; Movie actress Kate Beckinsale (“Total Recall”) is 42; Indie rock drummer Dan Konopka (OK Go) is 41.

• “Cousins Day”, to honor all cousins who are living and pay homage to those who aren’t.
• “Drive-Thru Day”, honoring all businesses that allow you to shop without leaving your vehicle. There are drive-thru banks, coffee shops, fast-food restaurants, florists, ice cream bars, liquor stores, marriage chapels (Las Vegas), and pharmacies. What’s the weirdest you’ve seen?
• “Gilroy Garlic Festival”, the 37th annual salute to the ‘stink rose’ through Sunday in Gilroy CA. Events include ‘The Great Garlic Cook-Off’ and the ‘Miss Gilroy Garlic Pageant’.
• “Tell an Old Joke Day”, a good excuse to dust off your best chicken-crossing-the-road zinger and then ask listeners to tell their best jokes … but only if they’re under 5-years-old.
• “Tequila Day”, celebrating Mexico’s national booze that’s becoming increasingly popular in other drinks beside margaritas. But we still like it the old fashioned way – a little salt, a slice of lime and … hay carumba!
• “Virtual Love Day”, a day for those who have experienced the ‘excitement, joy, and sorrow’ of an online relationship and especially for those who’ve found true love through the Internet.

• “Dance Day”, the 6th annual on the last Saturday of July to encourage both young and old to move. Created by Nigel Lythgoe, executive producer and judge on TV competition “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX).
• “Day Of the Cowboy”, the 11th annual initiative to preserve pioneer and Western heritage.
• “Merry-Go-Round Day” (or “Carousel Day”), the anniversary of the mechanical carousel’s first patent 144 years ago (1871) by William Schneider of Davenport, Iowa. He did not invent it, however, as carousel rides may go back as far as 500 AD.

• “All or Nothing Day”. This is it, folks – balls to the wall, give ‘er all you’ve got, the time has arrived, take no prisoners, it’s now or never, bring your ‘A’ game and give 110% … and any other hackneyed self-help cliché you can think of.
• “Baseball Hall of Fame Induction” in Cooperstown NY. 2015 inductees are pitchers John Smoltz, Pedro Martinez, and Randy Johnson; and 2nd baseman Craig Biggio.
• “Parents Day”, observed on the 4th Sunday in July, likely at the behest of some long-suffering mom or dad somewhere. So here are a few …
– “Can you turn up that music? It really calms my nerves.”
– “You can’t finish your peas? Go ahead and throw ’em away.”
– “Waiter! More ice cream for the little one!”
– “Go ahead, take the car … and here’s 50 bucks for gas.”
– “As a matter of fact, let’s BOTH go get nose rings!”

2013 [02] American psychologist & sexologist Virginia Johnson dies at age 88 in St Louis MO (co-inspiration for current Showtime TV series “Masters of Sex”)

1995 [20] 1st woman to announce a network baseball game (Suzyn Waldman on “ABC     Monday Night Baseball”)

2001 [14] 1st monarch in history to regain political power through election to a different office as Simeon Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, last Tsar of Bulgaria when he was a child, is sworn in as Bulgarian Prime Minister

2005 [10] US cyclist Lance Armstrong wins a record 7th consecutive Tour de France (all 7 titles later stripped due to doping)

[Mon] Take Your Houseplant For a Walk Day
[Mon] Walk on Stilts Day
[Tues] Milk Chocolate Day
[Tues] World Hepatitis Day
[Wed] Microsoft ‘Windows 10’ release
This Week Is … Make Someone Smile Week
This Month Is … Horseradish Month


✓ You don’t have to take a hot dog for a walk twice a day.
✓ Or pick up its poop.
✓ Hot dogs don’t freak if you smother them with ketchup.
✓ A hot dog will never eat your favorite shoes.
✓ A hot dog never swallows something suspect in the park that requires a costly trip to the vet.
✓ A hot dog won’t come in from the rain and jump straight onto your bed.
✓ A dog dog may fill the love void in your life but it won’t fill your 3 am rumbly-tummy.
✓ You never have to get your childhood hot dog ‘put down’ and be traumatized for life.
– Adapted from

☎ What’s the best prank you have ever pulled?

There are 3 kinds of people … those who can count and those who can’t.

Question: A quarter of all parents never make their kids do THIS.
Answer: Wear sunscreen.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

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