Monday, July 24, 2017        Edition: #6019

Never Accept a Substitute – Ask For Pure “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ John Heard, the dad in ‘Home Alone’ and other classic ’80s and ’90s movies, died Friday in Palo Alto, California.  He was 72. With a career spanning four decades, Heard enjoyed roles in films like Beaches, Gladiator, The Pelican Brief, and Big.  He was best known for playing Peter McCallister, on-screen dad to Macaulay Culkin‘s ‘Kevin’ in 1990’s Home Alone. Heard returned to the role for the sequel, 1992’s Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.  The cause of death is unknown. Heard had recently undergone back surgery.
-EW
★ Contrary to recent fanboy-panicking reports, Ben Affleck will still be Batman.  At least, according to Ben Affleck.  At Warner Bros.’ Comic-Con panel Saturday, the “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” star addressed the elephant in the room.  After earlier reports that Warner Bros. is pushing Affleck out of his Batman role, Affleck emphasized that he is the “luckiest guy in world” to play Batman and raved  about director Matt Reeves, who replaced him at the helm of the highly anticipated standalone film “The Batman.”  Affleck’s comments were a response to recent reports that he had lost enthusiasm for the role after being replaced as director.
-LA Times
★ Kaley Cuoco once discovered that ‘The Big Bang Theory’ can be a contact sport.  At Comic-Con, she said that she once ended up requiring stitches to her head after a prank on the set went awry. According to Cuoco, the cast thought it would be pretty funny for the gag reel to take a dinner fight scene really far.  The stunt ended up taking her to the hospital after a fall off her chair and a knock to her head.
(‘Big Bang’…not just a theory anymore!)
-Jam.Canoe
★ Hugh Jackman carries out ”random” checks on his children’s phones. Jackman and his wife take precautions to ensure that Oscar, 17, and Ava, 12, are careful about who they interact with on social media and they set out strict rules regarding the use of sites like Instagram. According to him, he tells his kids that he is going to look at their phones randomly.  He says that he doesn’t want them to make any mistakes that they are going to have to “live with for years.”
-ContactMusic
★ Penelope Cruz cuts her family and friends’ hair. The Oscar-winning actress enjoys pampering women so much, she says she could make it a second career.  One of the biggest tests of her grooming skills came when she had to get her best friend Salma Hayek ready for a red carpet event when the power was out and Hayek’s regular stylist was unable to be there.  Cruz says she can cut anyone’s hair no problem, do a blow-dry, put in rollers, and can wax legs.  Cruz learned a lot about both beauty and acting by hanging out in the salon her mother ran when she was growing up.
(How much do you need to tip your stylist…when she is also a movie star?)
-ContactMusic
★ Channing Tatum’s wife says her first meeting with her now-husband was ”awkward” because she couldn’t stop thinking about how hot she thought he was.  Jenna Dewan Tatum says that they met at a screen-test for the 2006 movie ‘Step Up’.  Both eventually won the roles they were auditioning for, which to her, indicates that it was “meant to be”.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Peyton Manning, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Perfume Genius ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Rob Lowe, Chrissy Metz, Fifth Harmony featuring Gucci Mane
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Paul Bettany, Laura Benanti, Tyler the Creator
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Charlize Theron, Jane Lynch, Amine, Brad Wilk
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Anna Faris, Mark Hamill, Jenny Slate, Foster the People
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Werner Herzog, Veronica Ferres, Potty Mouth ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): French Montana
• “@Midnight with Chris Hardwick” (Comedy): Justin McElroy, Travis McElroy, Griffin McElroy
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Kurt Russell, Ron Funches, Chicano Batman ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kelly Dodd, Isaac Mizrahi
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kate Upton, Amy Silverstein, guest co-host Brandy
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Matt Bomer, Paul Bettany, AJR, guest co-host Anderson Cooper
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kris Jenner, Migos ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Wanda Durant ( R )
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Kirstie Alley, Nia Long ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Vanessa Simmons ( R )
• “The Bachelorette” (ABC): The remaining bachelors travel to Dallas to meet Rachel’s family; overnight dates in Rioja, Spain.
• “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC): “Los Angeles City Finals” The top 30 competitors from the Los Angeles qualifier tackle obstacles, including the Salmon Ladder.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Streetheart – singer Kenny Shields died early Friday morning in a Winnipeg hospital where he had undergone cardiac surgery.  Streetheart had planned Canadian tour this summer to celebrate the band’s the 40th anniversary.
• Chester Bennington – Linkin Park have shared details of suicide helplines in a bid to help others who may be suffering following their singer’s death.  Bennington was found dead on Thursday morning.  His band have now set up a tribute page on their official website showing a photo of Chester performing to adoring crowds.
• Chester Bennington – word has surfaced that he wrote a heart-breaking letter to Chris Cornell shortly after his death in which he said he ”couldn’t imagine” living in a world without the singer.
• Blink 182 – have cancelled their upcoming gigs in the wake of  “friend and amazing musician” Chester Bennington’s suicide.  The bands have called off their scheduled mini-tour ‘Blinkin Park’.
• Chris Brown – claims he was the victim of a shakedown attempt in the Philippines.  In a court case, Brown says that he suffered ‘extreme’ emotional distress after he was not initially permitted to leave the country in July of 2015 following a concert in Manila.
• Chance the Rapper –  More than 90 fans at a Hartford, Conn. concert were hospitalized on Friday.  Many of those hospitalizations were reportedly for “excessive drinking” and “severe intoxication.”
• Louis Tomlinson – he thinks Harry Styles has ”so much potential” and has a ”very high level of respect” for his One Direction bandmate. Tomlinson says he doesn’t know when the group might reunite, especially because of Styles’ possibilities as a solo star.
• Rolling Stones – Keith Richards says they are about to head back into the studio to start recording a new album. In the meantime, the group is set to release a new book and companion DVD in September that collects radio and TV performances from the ’60s.
• Shania Twain – when she shared the track listing for her new album ‘Now’, it was accompanied by a melodic snippet of guitar that sounded remarkably similar to the Chainsmokers’ smash “Don’t Let Me Down.” The guitar is actually part of the downcast new song “Poor Me”. ‘Now’ comes out September 29.
• Thomas Rhett – he and his wife Lauren recently adopted their daughter Willa, and Lauren is now pregnant with their second child, who is due later this summer.  Rhett’s wife shared a photo online of the couple and jokingly captioned it “best baby daddy a girl could ever dream of.”

MAN (AND WOMAN)’S BEST FRIEND:
Grab your phone.  Have a look at your camera roll.  Which do you have more pictures of…your partner…or your dog?  A survey by Rover.com shows that 65% of dog owners admit to taking more pictures of their dog than their significant other.  And that’s not all.  The study also revealed that nearly half of people polled say they find it harder to leave their dog for a week than their human counterpart.  Oh, and 56 percent greet their dog when they walk in the door—before saying hello to the rest of their family. Ouch.  But on the other hand, we all know that you can never have too many pictures of our pets.  And to be fair, we seldom have a chance to snap a photo of our partner minutes after they have emptied the trashcan and scattered garbage all over the kitchen!
(Yes, I greet the dog first when I get home.  But remember who it is that comes running to the door wagging their tail!)
(I love you, baby, but the dog looks cuter when she is asleep!)
(Ummm, that’s because I take cute pics of the dog to send to my wife.  Can’t do it the other way around!)
-WomansDay

BS HORRIBLESCOPES:
Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Leo – You’ll suddenly be torn away from your friends and cast out of the only home you’ve ever known by the authorities, who insist your sentence is over and you’re free to go.
• Virgo – This week will be a time of magical romance and unending joy for you, thanks to your boundless talent for self-delusion.
• Libra – You’re going to need a lot of epsom salts and lip balm this week. No, honestly, you can trust us. This isn’t like the time with the horse laxatives.
• Scorpio – Don’t waste time developing a healthy body image, as your body will look a heck of a lot different starting Thursday.
• Sagittarius – An attempt at composing the perfect love sonnet will fail time and again this week when you fall for a girl named ‘Orange’.
• Capricorn – In a wacky horoscopic mixup, you’ll encounter a mysterious stranger who takes you on a journey over water just as you’re trying to start new projects at work.
• Aquarius – Keep extra apples and bandages around the house this week, as your lover seems to be going through a William Tell phase.
• Pisces – There will be nothing you can do to avert disaster this week, although there will be plenty that a reasonably bright and competent person could do.
• Cancer – Your life is about to get a whole lot easier. Unfortunately, the same thing can’t be said for your live-in nurse.
• Aries – You have failed in your life’s goal, but don’t feel too bad: Of all the people who dream of working at a fast food restaurant, only 98% actually make it.
• Taurus – This week’s revelations will be especially mortifying for you, seeing as you’ve been insisting for years that life is not some sort of big pie-eating contest.
• Gemini – It’s not easy being a woman these days, what with you calling them up all the time and repeatedly begging for a second chance.
– Adapted from TheOnion.com

NEVER ADMIT YOU’RE A SLACKER:
It turns out that calling yourself a slacker can be hazardous to your health.  It’s the placebo effect, and according to a new study, if you don’t consider yourself active, chances are you won’t live as long as someone who does.  61-thousand people were studied and researchers found that those who perceived themselves as being less active than their peers were up to 71 per cent more likely to die than those who perceived themselves as more active.  That’s right, even if you believe yourself to be active, but you actually AREN’T, chances are you will live longer.  Researchers say the study shows how perceptions about health behaviors can play an important role in shaping health outcomes.
(So I’m good as long as I THINK about going to the gym?)
(Well, I AM pretty active….for me!)
(Does it stand to reason then that I can also overestimate how often I eat my veggies and still get the health benefits?)
-ABC

BS CHRONOMETER 07.24.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [66] Lynda Carter, Phoenix, AZ, TV actress (“Wonder Woman” 1975-1979)

1968 [49] Kristin Chenoweth, Broken Arrow OK, TV actress (“The Good Wife” 2012, “Glee” 2009-11)/movie actress (“The Boy Next Door”)/Broadway actress (“Wicked”)

1969 [48] Jennifer Lopez, Bronx NY, pop singer (“On the Floor”)/TV personality (“American Idol” 2011-12, 2014-15)/movie actress (“The Boy Next Door”)

1975 [42] Eric Szmanda, Milwaukee WI, TV actor (‘Greg Sanders’ on “CSI” 2000-15)

1982 [35] Elisabeth Moss, LA CA, TV actress (‘Peggy Olson’ on “Mad Men” 2007-15, “The West Wing” 1999-2006)

1982 [35] Anna Paquin, Winnipeg MB [raised Wellington NZ], TV actress (“True Blood” 2008-14)/movie actress (“X-Men” films, 1994 Oscar-”The Piano”)

1998 [19] Bindi Irwin, Buderim, Australia, TV show host (“Jungle Girl” 2007-2008, “Bindi’s Bootcamp” 2015, “Dancing With the Stars” season 21 winner)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Cousins Day”, to honor all cousins who are living and pay homage to those who aren’t.

• “Drive-Thru Day”, honoring the businesses that allow you to shop without leaving your vehicle. There are drive-thru banks, coffee shops, fast-food restaurants, florists, ice cream bars, liquor stores, marriage chapels (Las Vegas), and pharmacies. What’s the weirdest you’ve seen?  Ours is a funeral home.

• “Tell an Old Joke Day”, a good excuse to dust off your best chicken-crossing-the-road zinger and then ask listeners to tell their best jokes … but only if they’re under 5-years-old. (Why did the Cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.)

• “Tequila Day”, celebrating Mexico’s national booze that’s becoming increasingly popular in other drinks beside margaritas. But we still like it the old fashioned way – a little salt, a slice of lime and … ay caramba!

• “Amelia Earhart Day”, honors the famous aviation pioneer.  During an attempt to make a circumnavigational flight of the globe in 1937, Earhart disappeared over the central Pacific Ocean. To this day, theories and speculation still exist about the cause of her disappearance. Some theories involve conspiracies, and even alien abductions.

AND REMEMBER…
[Tues] Red Shoe Day
[Tues] Hot Fudge Sundae Day
[Wed] Aunt and Uncles Day
[Wed] All Or Nothing Day
This Week Is…National Moth Week
This Month Is…Parks and Recreation Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1987 [30] The movie biography of Richie Valens, “La Bamba” opened. The soundtrack included a hit version of the title song by Los Lobos.

2013 [04] American psychologist & sexologist Virginia Johnson dies at age 88 in St Louis MO (co-inspiration for the now-cancelled Showtime TV series “Masters of Sex”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1534 [483] Jacques Cartier lands in Canada, claiming it for France

1995 [22] 1st woman to announce a network baseball game (Suzyn Waldman on “ABC     Monday Night Baseball”)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2005 [12] US cyclist Lance Armstrong wins a record 7th consecutive Tour de France (all 7 titles later stripped due to doping)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS (weird sports rules):
• All wrestlers must have a handkerchief handy. (This applies to ‘competitive’ rather than ‘spectacle’ wrestling…)
• Golfers must sign their scorecards, or they are disqualified.
• If you remove your shirt during a footrace, you’re disqualified.
• In baseball, if a player attempts to catch a ball with their hat, the batter is awarded third base.  This is called a ground-rule triple.
• If you remove your shoe and kick the ball in soccer, it is considered a handball.
• You can be ruled to lose a chess match if you show too much cleavage.

-The Fact Site

BS NOT-SO-GREAT COMPANY NAMES:
• Bedbugs, Bath, and Beyond
• Traitor Joe’s
• Old Gravy
• Sucks Fifth Avenue
• Victoria’s Secretion
• Dr. McJittery’s Precision Plastic Surgery
• Pizza Butt
• Trump

-Twitter

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the best prank you have ever pulled?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 43% of people admit they have worn this on the head at one point in their life.  Answer: Mickey Mouse ears

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The Road to success is always under construction.


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