Tuesday, July 26, 2011     Edition: #4557

More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Foul-mouthed cartoon duo “Beavis & Butt-Head” (1993-97) are heading back to MTV this October, 14 years after the cult comedy show was axed (what can we say but ‘heh, heh, heh’) . . . 36-year-old “Mad Men” actress Christina Hendricks is set to  create her own swimwear line because she’s tired of trying to find bathing suits to suit her unusually curvy figure (size 10, 154 lbs, 39D-30-39) . . . A former rehab worker at the Betty Ford Clinic who is suing Lindsay Lohan for $1 million is undergoing surgery this Thursday to repair an injury she alleges was sustained in an altercation with the actress last year (mostly to add credence to the suit) . . . A “Glee” producer has assured fans that Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, and Cory Monteith will still pop up in future episodes after they officially leave the show at the end of the 3rd season (if there still IS a show) . . . Meantime, “Glee” actor  Darren Criss (‘Blaine Anderson’) is in talks to succeed Daniel Radcliffe (“Harry Potter”) as the lead in the Broadway musical revival “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”, meaning he’d miss shooting an episode-and-a-half of the new “Glee” season . . . And ex-reality TV star Kristin Cavallari (“The Hills”) is said to be stunned after her NFL QB- fiancé Jay Cutler has called off their planned wedding (hmm, seems he runs hot and cold OFF the field as well).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – The Features (“The Beginning”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Sarah Lee Guthrie & Johnny Irion (“Bright Examples”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Matt & Kim (“Sidewalks”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Eels (“Tomorrow Morning”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Ray Davies (“See My Friends”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Shaggy (“Shaggy & Friends”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Train (“Save Me, San Francisco”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Tim Robbins & The Rogues Gallery Band (“Tim Robbins & The Rogues Gallery Band”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – Her death is still described as ‘unexplained’ by police, but a post-mortem scheduled for yesterday is expected to soon provide an announcement of the exact cause. More than her brief career, she may be remembered for opening up the retro soul sound in the UK that paved the way for Duffy, Estelle, Florence & The Machine, and Lily Allen. There’s speculation that new Amy Winehouse tracks could be released posthumously.
• Eric Church – Today he releases his 3rd studio album, “Chief”, featuring his current country single “Homeboy”. He took a month off performing and holed up in a secluded North Carolina cabin where he wrote the entire album.
• Flo Rida – He’s involved in a paternity case for which he claims he’s already provided a DNA sample to prove he’s not the biological father. But because the test was taken under a pseudonym, the mother is claiming it’s unreliable. No-name DNA doesn’t usually cut it.
• Justin Bieber – He’s reportedly working on a new album for which he and Chris Brown have recorded some material at the Record Plant studios in Hollywood, California.
• Joss Stone – Today she releases her new album “LP1” on her recently-established own label, Stone’d Records. She co-wrote and co-produced the album in only 6 days in Nashville, with the help of Eurythmics founder Dave Stewart.
• Ke$ha – Tonight she kicks off the 30-date 2nd leg of her “Get $leazy Tour” in Harrington, Delaware. LMFAO and rapper Spank Rock will join her on most dates.
• Lady Gaga – The 25-year-old, who’s experiencing hair-loss due to years of dying her tresses, has reportedly started using Rogaine in an attempt to reverse the damage.
• Terri Clark – Today is the digital release of the country veteran’s “Roots & Wings”, a 10-song collection she self-produced. The physical release follows on September 13th.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Dylan Dog: Dead of Night” ( PG-13 Horror Comedy ): Brandon Routh stars as ‘Dylan Dog’, world famous private investigator specializing in affairs of the ‘undead’. His PI business card reads ‘No Pulse? No Problem’. Based on the popular comics of the same name (60 million copies worldwide).
• “Source Code” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Jake Gyllenhaal plays a soldier who’s sent back in time in an experimental government program. He wakes up in the body of a commuter who witnesses a train bombing and has just 8 minutes to figure out who is responsible. Co-stars Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga, comedian Russell Peters.
• “Trust” ( R-Rated Drama ): Former “Friends” star David Schwimmer directs this story about a 14-year-old (Liana Liberato) who meets her first boyfriend online. After months of communicating via online chat and phone, she discovers her friend is not who he originally claimed to be. Co-stars Clive Owen, Catherine Keener.
• Also released today: “A Big Box of Wood” (Ed Wood Jr Compilation); “Alice: Season 1” (Vintage TV); “American Grindhouse” (Documentary); “Dennis the Menace: Season 2” (Vintage TV); and “Jersey Shore: Season 3” (Reality TV).

A MILLION YEARS WITHOUT SEX:
Timema Stick Insects, which live in shrub-land around the US West Coast, have lived for about 1 million years without sex, according to genetic research at British Columbia’s Simon Fraser University. They reproduce asexually, with females producing their young in ‘virgin births’ without the need for egg fertilization by males. In effect, it seems they’re producing genetic clones of themselves. It’s hoped the discovery could help researchers understand how life without sex is possible. (We already know that … what we really want to know is what to do about it!)
– “Nature”

TINY ADVANTAGE:
Being tall has been linked to a greater risk of 10 common cancers by University of Oxford researchers in Britain. The study of more than a million women shows that, for every 4 inches (10 cm) above 5 feet a person is, there’s a 16% increase in cancer risk. Researchers think that may be because chemicals that control growth might also affect tumors. Although this particular study only involves women, the scientists say the height link has also been shown in men. But they say tall people ‘should not be alarmed’ by the findings. (Easy for you to say, short-stuff!)
– BBC News

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Seoul, South Korea – Officials say a vigorous gym exercise session caused a 39-story high-rise to shake for 10 minutes earlier this month, prompting hundreds to flee it in panic. In order to prove that theory, the scenario was re-created with a group of 17 middle-aged people performing a Tae Bo workout to the pop song “The Power” by German group Snap. Same result. (Whoa, how much do these porkers weigh?)
– AFP
•  Oberhallau, Switzerland – A private pilot has killed himself by crashing his aircraft into the home of his estranged mother, whom he blamed for his parents’ breakup. Seems he called his 68-year-old mom from the cockpit to say: “Are you home? I am just going to drop by”, then dove the plane into the building at top speed. What he didn’t know was his mother was in the basement at the time and survived the crash uninjured. (She was, however treated for shock.)
– “Times of London”

THE PROBLEM WITH ORGANICS:
A recent Thomson Reuters poll has found that 58% of us prefer organic to conventional foods if given the choice. The numbers are highest in the young and educated segments of the population. But does this mean that we’re buying more organic than conventional? Not really. 54% of consumers are hesitant to buy organic because it’s too expensive. The 2nd-most common reason people end up buying non-organics is that they’re more readily available, a sentiment expressed by 21% of respondents. (Why’s the good-for-ya stuff always cost more?)
– HuffingtonPost.com

THE ECONOMY OF APPLIANCES:
Eventually owning a washer and dryer will save you money, but how long does it take before that purchase pays off? A new cost analysis comparing owning your own appliances vs using a laundromat has come to the conclusion that it takes around 600 loads of laundry before one breaks even on buying an average new washer & dryer. If you plan to stick around long enough to do more than 600 loads (nearly 2 years if you average 1 load per day), then buying your own washer and dryer makes sense. (Except for the 24-month warranty.)
– TheSimpleDollar.com

TEXT MESSES:
The website ‘Damn You, Auto Correct’ collects text exchanges gone wrong thanks to the auto-correct feature common to most smartphones. Since launching in October, the site has attracted some 300 million page views. A sample exchange …
– “Be warned: I’m dumping you when I get home tonight.”
– “Fine with me. I was just thinking we could use some time apart.”
– “Jenna??? I got auto-corrected. I meant to write ‘jumping’ you not ‘dumping’ you. And now you’re telling me you want to break up?”
– “Well this is awkward.”
NET: http://damnyouautocorrect.com
– “Los Angeles Times”

SUCKERS!
Tired of trying to deal with out-of-control and inebriated late-night downtown crowds, the city of Victoria, British Columbia has developed a new tactic to deter drinkers from causing trouble … handing out lollipops. After drunken patrons pop them in their mouths, cops say they notice an immediate decrease in rowdy activity, and an increase in calming energy. One city councilor believes it works because altercations typically happen after verbal exchanges, but with a sucker in the mouth, there’s a lot less talk. (Well, legible talk anyway. “Yo, bashto, I gunn ki yo aff!”)
– CBC.ca

HOW HOT IS IT?
In Amarillo, Texas temperatures have soared to over 100 F … and about 200 F in a closed-up car. That’s so hot that reporter Brittany Nunn of the “Amarillo Globe-News” has actually managed to bake chocolate chip cookies on the dashboard of her vehicle. They took quite a while but eventually cooked right through, the same as in an oven. (And you can bet her car smelled fantastic afterward!)
– Amarillo.com

FOR THE RECORD:
“Antiques Roadshow” has sent a Tulsa, Oklahoma man home as a record-breaker and new retiree. Though his identity is being withheld, it’s been revealed his set of 5 Chinese cups carved from rhinoceros horn is the most expensive item ever appraised in the PBS-TV show’s 16-year history. The man has owned the set since the 1970s, and it seems they’re now worth $1 million-to-$1.5 million. The record-breaking show will air on PBS some time early next year.
– KTUL.com

DID YOU KNOW?
The ideal slice of toast should be cooked for exactly 216 seconds.
– “Daily Mail”

BS CHRONOMETER 07.26.11


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [68] (Sir) Mick Jagger, Dartford UK, wrinkle rocker (Rolling Stones-“Honky Tonk Women”, “Satisfaction”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1945 [66] Helen Mirren (Ilyena Lydia Mironoff), London UK, movie actress (“Arthur”, Oscar-“The Queen”)/TV actress (Emmy-“Elizabeth I”, “Prime Suspect”)

1959 [52] Kevin Spacey (Fowler), South Orange NJ, movie actor (Oscars-“American Beauty”, “The Usual Suspects”)/Artistic Director of London’s Old Vic Theatre since 2003

1964 [47] Sandra Bullock, Arlington VA, movie actress (2010 Oscar-“The Blind Side”, 2010 Razzie-“All About Steve”)/formerly wed to “Monster Garage” host Jesse James (2005-10)

1965 [46] Jeremy Piven, NYC, TV actor (‘Ari Gold’ on “Entourage” since 2004)/movie actor (“RocknRolla”, “Smokin’ Aces”)

1973 [38] Kate Beckinsale, London UK, movie actress (“Click”, “The Aviator”)  COMING UP: “Total Recall” (2012).

1974 [37] Dan Konopka, Chicago IL, rock drummer (OK Go-“Here It Goes Again”, “Get Over It”)

1993 [18] Taylor Momsen, St Louis MO, TV actress (‘Jenny Humphrey’ on “Gossip Girl” since 2007)/sometime rock singer (The Pretty Reckless)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “All or Nothing Day”. This is it, folks – balls to the wall, give ‘er all you’ve got, the time has arrived, take no prisoners, it’s now or never, bring your ‘A’ game, give 110% … and any other hackneyed self-help cliché you can think of.

• “Aunt & Uncle Day”, honoring the special contributions they make to our lives (or maybe Hallmark has just run out of ideas?).

• “Coffee Milkshake Day”, celebrating the summer cooler that’s also a pick-me-up.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1991 [20] Paul Reubens, aka ‘Pee Wee Herman’, is arrested for exposing himself twice while watching an adult movie at a theater in Florida (CBS-TV immediately yanks his “Pee Wee’s Playhouse” TV show off the air)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2000 [11] A court orders the largest Internet file-sharing service, Napster, to stop allowing millions of users to swap copyrighted music (the long-term effect … nada)

2006 [05] Paul McCartney’s first guitar is sold at an Abbey Road Studios auction for £330,000 (about a half-million dollars)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1979 [32] A team of 9 men sets a world record in Edinburgh, Scotland by pushing a hospital bed 3,233 miles (5,203 km) in 36 days

2005 [06] Mumbai, India receives 99.5 cm of rain (39.17 inches) within 24 hours, bringing the city to a halt for over 2 days

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Korean War Veterans Armistice Day
[Wed] Take Your Houseplant For a Walk Day
[Wed] Walk on Stilts Day
[Thurs] Milk Chocolate Day
[Thurs] Chili Dog Day
[Fri] Talk In an Elevator Day
[Fri] System Administrator Appreciation Day
This Week Is … Animal Agriculture Week
This Month Is … Family Golf Month

BULL’S BITS


THE BAR WORKOUT:
Exercises that can be done while you’re patronizing your favorite watering hole …
• ‘Urinal Mint Discus’
• ‘Jumping-Jack Daniels’
• ‘Truth-Stretching’
• ‘Cherry-Stem Tongue Aerobics’
• ‘Porcelain Bus Driver Chin-Ups’
• ‘Male Ego Flatteners’
• ‘5-hour Sedentary Ass Press & Swivel Massage’
• ‘The 40-Yard Nachos-with-Jalapenos Restroom Dash’
• ‘12-Step Aerobics’
– Adapted from TopFive.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
What historical smell would you like to experience? (Researchers are attempting to archive specific aromas, such as the odor of an old fur coat or a well-worn paperback. Some are attempting to recreate scents from the past, from a cologne used by Napoleon Bonaparte to a Viking-era latrine.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average husband does THIS 4 times a year for his wife.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Watches a movie she’s chosen that he doesn’t want to see.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Have no fear of perfection … you’ll never reach it.


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