Wednesday, July 27, 2016 – Edition: #5783

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Alicia Silverstone has landed the lead role in a new sitcom inspired by Paris Hilton’s aunt Kyle Richards. The “Clueless” star has been cast as single mom ‘Bonnie Nolan’ in the pilot for “American Woman”, a 1970s-era comedy co-produced by former actress-turned-reality TV star Richards (“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”). If TV Land picks up the series, it will mark Silverstone’s first regular TV role since 2003′s “Miss Match”.
– ContactMusic.com
★ It’s now confirmed the upcoming 8th season of “The Vampire Diaries” (CW) is going to be its last. The small-screen adaptation of the book series written by LJ Smith centers on the spooky happenings in the fictional town of ‘Mystic Falls, Virginia’. It debuted in 2009 starring Nina Dobrev, Paul Wesley, and Ian Somerhalder. Dobrev has since left the series. The 8th and final season premieres October 21st.
–AP
★ And acclaimed graphic novelist and illustrator Mark Siegel has agreed to a new 3-book deal with Random House Books for Young Readers. The deal is for a new sci-fi-fantasy series to be titled “5 Worlds”. The first installment, “The Sand Warrior”, is scheduled for publication next May, with the others due in 2018 and 2019. Siegel is best known for the novel “Sailor Twain (or The Mermaid In the Hudson)”.
– Canoe.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Results of viewer voting reveal which acts are advancing to the semis.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Local Natives (“Sunlit Youth”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (“This Unruly Mess I’ve Made”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Go-Go’s (“Talk Show”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Gabe Dixon (“One Spark”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Bleached (“Welcome the Worms”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Joe Jonas (DNCE).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Carrie Underwood (“Storyteller”); Keith Urban (“Ripcord”); Meghan Trainor (“Thank You”).
• “Meredith Vieira” (syndicated) – Christina Milian (“4 U”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Sturgill Simpson (“A Sailor’s Guide to Earth”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – She’s added 2 shows to her “Live Tour” at LA’s Staples Center August 20th and August 21st. That brings the total number of dates on the massive schedule to 107.
• The Beatles – John Lennon’s classic 1956 Austin Princess is being auctioned by Sotheby’s in London on September 7th and is expected to fetch up to $350,000. He bought the vehicle in 1971 and used it in the film “Imagine”. Proceeds go to UNICEF and Make a Wish Foundation.
• Calvin Harris – The 32-year-old DJ is believed to have expressed interest in working with Jennifer Lopez at her 47th birthday party at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas over the weekend. No word yet if any studio collaboration will actually come together.
• Dierks Bentley – He’s announced he’s extending his “Somewhere On a Beach” tour beyond the 2 shows at Colorado’s Red Rocks Amphitheatre at the end of September. He is extending his tour through the Fall, beginning October 13th in Fort Wayne IN. The trek hits 8 other cities before wrapping up his year on the road.
• Fifth Harmony – Today (appropriately 7/27) they take off on their “7/27 Tour” in support of their latest album. The trek begins in Manchester NH and runs through September 17th in Las Vegas NV.
• Ozzy Osbourne – He’s confirmed his marriage to Sharon Osbourne is “back on track”. Sharon has also acknowledged they’re together again, though admits she’ll have trouble ever trusting him again. Ozzy & Sharon married in 1982. She booted him out for cheating in May.
• Rihanna – She’s headlining NYC’s 2016 Global Citizen Festival on September 24th, along with Kendrick Lamar, and Metallica. The 5th annual Central Park event is advocating for quality education for children around-the-world.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Nerve” ( PG-13 Mystery Thriller ): A high school senior finds herself immersed in an online game of Truth or Dare, where her every move starts to become manipulated by an anonymous community of ‘watchers’. Stars Emma Roberts, Dave Franco, Emily Meade, and Miles Heizer. Based on the Jeanne Ryan novel.
NET: http://www.playnerve.com

WHERE THE WORLD’S TALLEST PEOPLE LIVE:
According to a new study …
WOMEN:
1. Latvia (average height of 5-foot-7)
2. The Netherlands
3. Estonia
4. Czech Republic.
5. Serbia
MEN:
1. The Netherlands (average height of 6 feet)
2. Belgium
3. Estonia
4. Latvia
5. Denmark
– “eLife”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 96% of us can identify the sound of an ice cream truck within 2 seconds.
• 90% of men say they’ve never seen their father make the bed.
• 56% of homes still have an old-fashioned cordless phone.
• 46% of men launder their pillowcase every 2 months.
• 27% of men have embarrassed themselves at work by showing up with toilet paper on a shaving nick.
• 20% of us have missed work at least once due to … a stubbed toe.

BIZARRE FOOD COMBINATIONS THE WORLD DOESN’T NEED:
Someone made us try a ginger chocolate the other day (ick, not so good). Here are a few other real combos that are (or have been) on the market …
✗ Bacon Toothpaste
✗ Seafood Ice Cream
✗ Candy Corn Oreos
✗ Cheetos Macaron
✗ KFC Fried Chicken Nail Polish
✗ Slurpee Donut
✗ Pork Ramen Candy
✗ Chocolate-Covered Squid
✗ Bubble Gum-flavored String Cheese
✗ Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew
(Why combine 2 foods that are each pretty good on their own into a really gross fusion?)
– TopTenz.net

HOW TO REHEAT PIZZA THE RIGHT WAY:
Most of us are well acquainted with the ritual of slamming the last slice of last night’s pepperoni in the microwave for an easy breakfast. But it looks like we’ve been doing it all wrong; it turns out all we need is a frying pan. Roberta’s Pizza in Brooklyn NY knows a thing or two about cooking Italian. So they’ve given customers a handy guide to breathe new life into a cold, hardened pie. The key is to grab a frying pan and stick your slice in on a medium-low heat. Cook 2 minutes or until the bottom is crispy. Add a few drops of water, cover the pan a couple more minutes and – presto! – reheated to perfection: crispy bottom, moist crust, melty cheese. (BS testing reveals it can actually taste better than the original!)
– Sourced from “Metro”

BS BUZZWORDS:
Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Blue Belt’ – Environmentally-protected coastline and/or marine areas. The watery equivalent of a ‘green belt’.
• ‘Human Cloud’ – Independent workers that a company, using online sites or apps, can hire temporarily to perform tasks as needed.
• ‘Unschooling’ – An educational method that involves children directing their own learning by following their individual own interests rather than a structured curriculum.

WORLD’S BEST ISLANDS 2016:
A new ranking by travel enthusiasts, based on sights, activities, natural attractions, beaches, food, friendliness, and overall value …
10. Bali, Indonesia
9. Kauai, Hawaii
8. Hilton Head, South Carolina
7. Maui, Hawaii
6. Cebu, The Philippines
5. Santorini, Greece
4. Waiheke Island, New Zealand
3. Ischia, Italy
2. Boracay, The Philippines
1. Palawan, The Philippines
(Seriously? None in the Caribbean?)
– “Travel + Leisure”

FOR THE RECORD:
The world’s first around-the-world flight to be powered solely by the Sun’s energy made history Tuesday as it landed in Abu Dhabi, where it first took off on an epic 25,000-mile journey that began over a year ago. Since its March 2015 takeoff, the Swiss-engineered ‘Solar Impulse 2′ has made 16 stops worldwide without using a drop of fuel to demonstrate that using the plane’s clean technologies can halve the world’s energy consumption, save natural resources, and improve the quality of life. (The bad news is … checked baggage is $700 extra.)
– Newser.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
Getting a Silver medal in the Olympics will make you feel worse than getting a Bronze … because you just missed getting the Gold. (Like you were thisclose.)
– “Mental Floss”

BS CHRONOMETER 07.27.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1972 [44] Maya Rudolph, Gainesville FL, TV comic (“Maya & Marty” 2016, “Saturday Night Live” 2000-07, 2012, 2015) movie actress (“The Angry Birds Movie”, “Bridesmaids”)

1973 [43] Abe Cunningham, Long Beach CA, alt-rock drummer (Deftones-”Tempest”, “Change”)

1975 [41] Alex Rodriguez (‘A-Rod’), NYC, MLB baseball player (NY Yankees)/14-time All-Star/3-time AL MVP/2014 season suspension for doping

1977 [39] Jonathan Rhys Meyers (O’Keeffe), Dublin, Ireland, TV actor (“Dracula” 2013-14, “The Tudors” 2007-10)/movie actor (“Mission: Impossible III”, “Bend It Like Beckham”)

1984 [32] Taylor Schilling, Boston MA, TV actress (‘Piper Chapman’ on “Orange Is the New Black” since 2013)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bagpipe Appreciation Day”, celebrating the ancient musical instrument that’s viewed by some as an obnoxious, migraine-inducing tool of cacophonic destruction. (Good for funerals though.)

• “Korean War Veterans Armistice Day”, commemorating the 1953 negotiated cease-fire that ended the war on the Korean peninsula. During the 3 years of fierce struggle, over 600,000 Allied lives were lost.

• “Scotch Day”, celebrating the malt (or grain) whisky that was originally exclusive to Scotland. All Scotch must be aged in oak barrels for at least 3 years. The first written mention of Scotch whisky is in the Exchequer Rolls of Scotland from 1495.

• “Take Your Houseplants For a Walk Day”, to help them get to know their real environment.

• “Walk on Stilts Day”, celebrating the feat most often seen in parades and at the circus. Stilt-walking is an ancient art that only requires a pair of stout sticks and lots of practice. (And maybe some extra butt padding.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [13] Legendary comedian, movie actor, and TV host Bob Hope dies at age 100 at his home in Toluca Lake, California

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [10] The company behind online file-sharing service Kazaa agrees to pay record labels over $115 million in damages for music piracy

2012 [04] The Beatles return to the “Billboard” album chart with the compilation “Tomorrow Never Knows”, their first album exclusive to iTunes that had never been previously released

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2012 [04] Opening ceremony of the 2012 Summer Olympics at Olympic Stadium in London UK

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] 25th Lollapalooza Festival begins (Chicago IL)
[Fri] “Bad Moms”; “Jason Bourne” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Talk In an Elevator Day
[Sat] Father-In-Law Day
[Sat] Cheesecake Day
[Sun] “Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens” airs (Syfy)
[Sun] Broadway revival of “Cats” opens (NYC)
This Week Is … Body Piercing Week
This Month Is … Child-Centered Divorce Month

BULL’S BITS

BEST OUT-OF-OFFICE AUTOMATIC EMAIL REPLIES:
• “I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.”
• “You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.”
• “Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.”
• “I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.”
• “Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.”
• “Thank-you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently #352 and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.”
• “I’ve run away to join a different circus.”
– Adapted from Jokes2Go.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ ‘Jason Bourne’ vs ‘James Bond’. Who wins?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
When I die, I’m going to leave my body to science fiction.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 4-out-of-5 people polled believe THIS profession is the most honest.
Answer: Nope, not politics. Nursing.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Rarely does a woman make a fool out of a man without a lot of cooperation.


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