Monday, July 28, 2014        Edition: #5271

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ It doesn’t even open in movie theaters until Friday and already we know that a sequel to “Guardians Of the Galaxy” is being planned, also to be directed and co-written by James Gunn. Nicole Perlman, Gunn’s co-writer on the first film, confirmed at San Diego Comic Con over the weekend that Gunn and Marvel have signed a contract for “Guardians 2”. Makes sense … “Guardians Of the Galaxy” is expected to make at least $60 million over its opening weekend.
★ Moviemaker Rob Reiner is in talks to turn his classic 1987 film “The Princess Bride” into a Broadway musical. Months after fans celebrated the 25th anniversary of the cult movie, director Reiner is considering revamping the project for the stage. Quote: “We’ve been talking about possibly doing a musical version. I think it would make a great musical. I think the songs ‘As You Wish’, ‘Inconceivable’, and ‘The Battle of Wits’ just jump out at you.”
★ A homeless man has been arrested for stalking Rihanna. The 53-year-old was taken into custody after leaving threatening notes at the superstar singer’s rented NYC home. The “New York Post” reports that he has been charged with stalking, menacing, and harassment and is being held without bail. This is nothing new to Rihanna. She put her sprawling California estate in Pacific Palisades on the market in May after owning it only a year because stalkers kept showing up unannounced.
– Bang Showbiz
★ And actress Tara Reid has reveled that co-star Ian Ziering perfomred all his own stunts for “Sharknado 2: The Second One”. That includes a scene atop NYC’s Empire State building in which Ziering drew his own blood when a stunt with a prop chainsaw went wrong. Reid says Ziering refused to break character and have the wound tended to, continuing to act through the end of the scene. Brushing off the incident, Ziering says, “It cut up my leg a little bit. But you know chicks dig scars!” The tongue-in-cheek film sequel premieres Wednesday on SyFy.

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – The Three Kings (“TGT”). Rerun.
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Beck (“Morning Phase”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Bastille (“All This Bad Blood”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Train (“Bulletproof Picasso”, coming September 16th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Kodaline (“In a Perfect World”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Christina Perri (“Head or Heart”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Conor Oberst (“Upside Down Mountain”).
• “Running Wild” (NBC) – Debut of a new reality show from British survivalist Bear Grylls that features celebrities (Ben Stiller, Channing Tatum, Deion Sanders, etc) being taken on death-defying adventures. Tonight actor Zac Efron guests.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Jenny Lewis (“Rabbit Fur Coat”).
• “Young Hollywood Awards” (CW) – Kelly Osbourne hosts a gala honoring young stars; performers include Trey Songz.

• Coldplay – Brit Jody Duff, who is battling motor neurone disease (aka ALS), has been raising money for a foundation to help others suffering from the condition and his efforts have just been boosted by a big donation from his favorite band … £10,000 ($17,000).
• Eric Clapton – He’s paying tribute to late guitarist-singer-songwriter JJ Cale with his new album “The Breeze”. Cale died last year at age 74. He wrote 2 of Clapton’s biggest hits: “After Midnight” and “Cocaine”. Clapton credits Cale with getting him through his ‘darkest days’.
• Florida Georgia Line – They remain at #1 on the ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart for this week with their latest hit “Dirt.”
• Garth Brooks – He’s set a personal record after the 1st tickets for his “Garth Brooks World Tour with Trisha Yearwood” went on sale Friday. One show for Chicago IL on September 4th had been advertised. By the end of the day, he’d sold a total of 180,000 tickets for 10 shows.
• Iggy Azalea – MTV has announced the return of its classic show “House of Style” with the Aussie rapper as the host. The debut episode airs August 4th. The original “House of Style” ran from 1989-2000, hosted by the likes of Cindy Crawford and Rebecca Romijn.
• Lil Wayne – He’s getting into the sports agency business, partnering with PolarisSports. His 1st client is international soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, who has confirmed the news via Twitter. (Would you want a guy who regularly gets wrecked on cough syrup as your agent?)
• Lionel Richie – He’s being honored at the upcoming “2014 Billboard Touring Awards” as a ‘Legend Of Live’, celebrating acts who have made significant and lasting contributions to live music and the touring industry. The event is set for November 20th in NYC.
• Metallica – Guitarist Kirk Hammett is keeping busy, working with his pre-Metallica band Exodus on their upcoming album, and expanding his line of Kirk Von Hammett Toys that feature classic monster movie icons.
• Sugarland – Kristian Bush’s 1st single as a solo artist, “Trailer Hitch”, comes after 2 years of songwriting during which he composed more than 300 songs. His Sugarland partner, Jennifer Nettles, released her 1st solo effort, “That Girl”, last year.

Watching TV after work makes you feel like a loser. While previous research has shown that taking in a bit of tube after a stressful work shift might offer a ‘recovery experience’, a new German-Dutch study seems to indicate the opposite. It warns work-weary folks who flick on the TV or play videogames after a stressful workday they may experience guilt and feel like a failure. Why? They might view it as procrastination from more important tasks, leading them to fault themselves for a lack of self-control. Researchers say this further proves that today’s ubiquitous availability of content and entertainment often seems to be a burden and a stressor rather than a recovery resource. (Right. So clean out the garage after work. You’ll feel fulfilled.)

Ever wonder what guys really want in a girlfriend? A top 10 list of the traits of the perfect female mate …
10. She’s independent.
9. She’s intelligent.
8. She’s sexual.
7. She’s attractive to you.
6. She respects you.
5. She lets you be a man.
4. She doesn’t nag without a good reason.
3. She gets along with your friends and family.
2. She loves you.
1. She makes you want to be a better man.
– Condensed from

A struggling Korean baseball team has come up with a novel way to improve the atmosphere at home games … a crowd of robot fans. The Hanwha Eagles have adopted ‘bots that cheer, chant, and even perform ‘the wave’. The creators hope the robots can also spur enthusiasm from real fans. The robots have remote applications as well: Supporters not able to get to the stadium can control one online. Users can even upload their own face to the robot so it can be seen at the stadium. It’s thought the ‘bots might also be useful to more successful teams that are perpetually sold out. They could charge disappointed fans unable to land tickets a small fee to participate via robot. (“Pride, passion, proxies!”)
– BBC News Technology

Are you a ‘supertaster’? According to a Yale University study, about 25% of us have acute sense of taste due to a high number of taste buds. Supersensitive taste influences what people eat. Researchers have found that supertasters tend to avoid strong-flavored foods and also tend to be slimmer because they don’t crave fats or sugars. The downside – supertasters may not eat enough bitter vegetables, believed to protect against cancer. (You can bet you’ll never find one in a spicy Thai restaurant.)
– “Smithsonian Magazine”

(Number of Kids … Celebrity Parents)
• 6 … Actors Robert De Niro, Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt / reality TV mom Kris Jenner / hip hop entrepreneur Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs.
• 7 … Rocker Mick Jagger / actors Clint Eastwood and Kevin Costner / rapper Flavor Flav.
• 8 … Actors Mel Gibson, Eddie Murphy / singers Rod Stewart, Marie Osmond, Ginuwine.
• 11-to-14 (exact total unsure) … Reggae legend Bob Marley.
• 15 … Actress and adoptive mom Mia Farrow.
– Adapted from

Scientists at San Francisco State University have found that women who wear perfume with synthesized female pheromone in it are more attractive to male partners. Pheromones are the natural chemical substances we secrete to elicit a specific behavior or response from others. In test studies, women who had pheromone added to their perfume reported a more than 50% increase in attention from men. They were involved in more kissing, heavy petting, affection, and, not surprisingly, sex. (Soon all marriages will be saved by … perfume?)
– “Physiology & Behavior”.

• Moose spit has anti-fungal properties.
• Friends, on average, are as genetically similar to us as 4th cousins.
• People 65 or older feel better about their physical appearance than younger people, even much younger people.


1945 [69] Jim Davis, Marian IN, really rich cartoonist (“Garfield”)

1957 [57] Scott Pelley, San Antonio TX, TV news anchor (“CBS Evening News” since 2011)/TV news correspondent (“60 Minutes” since 1999)

1976 [38] Jacoby Shaddix, Mariposa CA, alt-rock singer (Papa Roach-“Lifeline”, “Last Resort”)

1990 [24] Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em (DeAndre Way), Chicago IL, rapper (“Kiss Me Thru the Phone”, “Crank That [Soulja Boy]”)

1993 [21] Cher Lloyd, Malvern UK, pop singer-songwriter (f/Mike Posner-“With Ur Love”, “Swagger Jagger”)

• “Beatrix Potter Day”, honoring the English author who created the “Peter Rabbit” children’s books on the anniversary of her 1866 birth.

• “Eid al-Fitr” (pronounced Eed-ul-FIT-tur) begins, the major Islamic holiday at the end of the Ramadan month of fasting. The exact start of the 3-day feast cannot be predicted in advance. Scanning the sky for the crescent of the new Moon to usher in ‘Eid’ is an Islamic ritual that’s over 1,400-years-old.

• “Milk Chocolate Day”, an excuse for chocoholics everywhere to cow down!

• “World Hepatitis Day”, to create awareness that 1-in-12 people worldwide is living with either chronic hepatitis B or C, far higher than the prevalence of HIV or any type of cancer.

2006 [08] Actor-director Mel Gibson vents an ill-advised anti-Semitic tirade as he’s arrested for DUI in Malibu CA (the ensuing police mug shot is pretty much a career killer)

1996 [18] Dr Jochen Heuer of Luebeck, Germany performs a successful kidney transplant operation … using his own kidney

1944 [70] It’s so hot in Washington DC that newspapers carry pictures of an egg being fried on the steps of the US Capitol

1979 [35] A cushioned egg dropped from the top of the 1815-ft (553-m) CN Tower in Toronto, Ontario lands unbroken

[Tues] Lasagna Day
[Wed] Cheesecake Day
[Wed] Father-In-Law Day
[Wed] International Day of Friendship
[Wed] Support Public Education Day
[Wed] Paperback Book Day
This Week Is … Fancy Rat & Mouse Week
This Month Is … Grilling Month


Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• “This car brakes for red lights … like it’s supposed to, jerk!”
• “If you’re close enough to read this I hope you’ve got functioning air bags and really good insurance.”
• “If I’m not flipping you the bird, it’s because I think you’re such an idiot that you wouldn’t understand!”
• “Honk if you want me to come back there with my Uzi.”
• “My other car has a left turn signal on all the time too … because I’m a total ditz.”
– First published in “BS” 1997.

• “Is that a mirror in your anodized titanium exterior plating? Because I can see myself in your service port.”
• “If I said you had a bootable body would you bolt it against me?”
• “Do you have Intel inside? No? Would you like to?”
• “Should I send you an encrypted wireless transmission for breakfast or manually initiate your boot-up sequence?”
• “… then I guess a lube job is out of the question?”
• “And here’s the little-known 4th law of robotics: It’s my duty to please that booty!”
• “You are built like a defecating facility made from stone-like red polygons.”
– First published in “BS” 2011.

So an Ancient Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”

1-in-5 men claim they did which before getting married?
a. Proposed on one knee. [CORRECT]
b. Played the field.
c. Got really, really drunk.

☎ Soon you will be able to preorder your Starbucks coffee via an app. Good idea or just plain dumb? Is this a real time-saver? Aren’t some apps just replacing face-time with staring at a handheld device?

Question: According to a recent study, doctors get THIS wrong over 90% of the time.
Answer: The expected due date of a baby.

No one ever says, “It’s only a game”, when their team is winning.

Gary Hackemack @ Shine 99.9 [KSHN] Liberty TX; Timothy Nickerson @ 102.5 KDON Monterey CA; Nonjabulo Zwane @ Gagasi FM Durban, South Africa; and  Justine Olfert @ Mix 104.9 FM [CKVX] Kindersley SK.

Monthly Planning Calendar in this Thursday’s “BS”!

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