Tuesday, July 28, 2015        Edition: #5504

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ 22-year-old Bobbi Kristina Brown will have a funeral service this week in Atlanta GA before her body is interred in New Jersey next to her mother Whitney Houston. Whitney, who died in 2012 from an eerily similar cause, is buried next to her father, John Russell Houston, at Fairview Cemetery in Westfield NJ. A family member says Bobbi Kristina’s father, Bobby Brown, is taking comfort in knowing that his daughter is now at peace. Bobbi Kristina died at Peachtree Christian Hospice near Atlanta on Sunday, 5-and-a-half months after being found unconscious in a bathtub at her home in Roswell GA.
– People.com
★ “Pixels” is continuing actor-producer Adam Sandler’s losing streak at the box office. For years, he was one of Hollywood’s most reliable stars, his films earning north of $4 billion in worldwide box office. But his ability to lure moviegoers seems damaged after a string of recent disappointments, including “That’s My Boy”, “Just Go With It”, and last Summer’s “Blended”. According to insiders, Sandler is now entirely focused on a series of 4 new movies for Netflix. His only upcoming bigscreen pic is “Transylvania 2”, opening September 25th. One analyst suggests Sandler would benefit from going back to basics and giving audiences what made them love him in the first place.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★The “Jurassic World” sequel will take the action outside of theme parks. Director Colin Treverrow has announced the release date for the sequel will be June 2018 and teased that it will include more hybrid dinosaurs like the current film’s ‘Indominus Rex’. The movie has become one of Universal’s biggest-grossing of all-time and Treverrow has hinted he wants to explore military possibilities in upcoming sequels, whereby the dinosaurs are weaponized for combat. Chris Pratt is already confirmed to be returning to star in “Jurassic World 2”.
– Wired.com
★ Show biz patriarch Joe Jackson has been taken to hospital after suffering a stroke on his 87th birthday. The famed father, whose children include Janet Jackson and the late Michael Jackson, has been admitted to Albert Einstein Hospital in Sao Paulo, Brazil after feeling dizzy and at least temporarily losing his vision. He’s believed to be undergoing tests as his family tries to decide whether to have him flown back to the US for further treatment.
– TMZ.com
★ And the 35 women who have accused embattled 78-year-old comedian Bill Cosby of sexual assault are featured on the cover of the new issue of “New York” magazine, including models Janice Dickinson and Beverly Johnson. The women who’ve gone public with decades-old allegations of sexual misconduct and rape have posed for a powerful photoshoot and essay series titled “Cosby: The Women, An Unwelcome Sisterhood”. On the black-and-white cover, each woman sits in a chair, staring straight at the camera. Each reported victim also has an additional portrait and accompanying article detailing the impact Cosby had on her life.
– WENN.com

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Guest judge Marlon Wayans helps narrow down the field of contestants.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Mac DeMarco (“Salad Days”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Fifth Harmony (“Reflection”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – James Williamson (“The Re-Licked Project”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Vintage Trouble (“The Bomb Shelter Sessions”).
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – 1980s pop singer Debbie Gibson (“Foolish Heart”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Christina Milian (“Rebel”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – George Ezra (“Wanted on Voyage”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Prince Royce (“Double Vision”).

• The Flaming Lips – “Do You Realize?” was the ‘official rock song’ of the state of Oklahoma from 2009-13.
• Maroon 5 – Their 2002 hit “Harder to Breathe” is about record label demands.
• Michael Bublé – After Adele and Take That, the 3rd-best-selling album in UK this decade is Bublé’s “Christmas”.
• Nicki Minaj – She’s launching her 7th fragrance, ‘The PinkPrint’, named for her 3rd studio album. In making the announcement via Instagram, she claims this one is by far her best.
• Rihanna – Hitmakers The-Dream & Tricky Stewart originally wrote 2007’s “Umbrella” for Britney Spears, then offered the track to Mary J Blige before ultimately giving it to RiRi.
• Taylor Swift – She & boyfriend Calvin Harris are planning a collaboration and have been working with Detail, the producer behind the Jay Z & Beyoncé track “Drunk in Love”. It’s thought one of the tracks may be premiered at the American Music Awards later this year.

Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Water Diviner” ( R-Rated Drama ): Russell Crowe stars as an Australian farmer, who, in 1919, goes in search of his 3 missing sons, last known to have fought against the Turks in the bloody Battle of Gallipoli. Crowe’s directorial debut co-stars Olga Kurylenko, Yilmaz Erdogan, Jai Courtney, James Fraser.
• Also released today: “Four Blood Moons” (Docu-drama); “Helix: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “Mama’s Family: Mama’s Favorites – Season 6” (Vintage TV); and “Our Daily Poison” (Documentary).

✓ Beets – Avoid those with surface nicks or bruises and go for firm beets that are heavy for their size. If you’re a stickler for freshness seek out beets with the greens still attached, as the leaves show age more quickly than the bulbous roots.
✓ Bell Peppers – Look for vibrant color. And no matter which color, look for firm, shiny, unblemished peppers with wrinkle-free skin.
✓ Corn – The husk should be vibrant green and wrapped tightly around the cob. Check closely for tiny brown worm holes near the top of the husk. Beware of tassels that have turned black or gone from slightly sticky to all dried out.
✓ Cucumbers – Nix anything with obvious blemishes or spongy spots. Cucumbers should be firm and dark green. Anything too big will be full of large, tough seeds.
✓ Eggplant – The best should feel heavy for their size, but not weigh over 1-and-a-half lbs. The bigger it is, the more likely it is to taste bitter. Ripe eggplants are firm, with shiny and taut skin.
✓ Zucchini – The larger ones will taste watery and flavorless, so don’t go for anything bigger than an average flashlight. The more stem that’s left attached, the longer it will keep.
– Condensed from MentalFloss.com

From “Beam me up, Scotty” to “If you build it, they will come” we love to use quotations. Except we use them all wrong, it turns out. ‘Captain Kirk’ never once said that oft-quoted line in “Star Trek”. And in “Field of Dreams” Kevin Costner’s character is only assured that “he” will come (‘Shoeless Joe’) not “they” once the baseball field is built. So we’re bad at quotes. And not just the wording; sometimes we go and attribute quotes to people who definitely did not utter them (or anything close). Great quotations seem to find their way to famous names, observers say, as we want them to come from celebrities, not someone we never heard of. Trying to quote others accurately can be difficult, leading to errors. But these misquotes often improve on real quotes, and make them easier to remember. (For instance: “A bird in hand … is an awful mess.”)
– Macleans.ca

✗ “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” This quotation attributed to Mahatma Gandhi is actually a later invention by an unknown person.
✗ “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Attributed to French philosopher Voltaire, it’s in reality from an early-20th-century biography about him.
✗ “Money is the root of all evil.” The biblical verse more precisely reads, “For the love of money is the root of all evil.”
✗ “Nice guys finish last.” Legendary baseball manager Leo Durocher wasn’t making a blanket statement but referring to one specific team’s flagging prospects. He said: “All nice guys. They’ll finish last.”
– Thanks to Mark Nichol

Very few claims made by cosmetics companies are true, according to a combined Valdosta State University-University of Nebraska research team. For their study glossy beauty ads in 7 different women’s magazines such as “Vogue” and “Elle” were analyzed and their claims categorized as ‘outright lie’, ‘omission’, ‘vague’, or ‘acceptable’. Just 18% of the claims in 289 full-page makeup, skincare, fragrance, hair, and nail ads have been deemed ‘acceptable’. And only 14% of the ‘scientific’ claims can be verified. The rest are a bit dubious. Almost a quarter of claims made in anti-wrinkle ads, for example, have been dubbed ‘outright lies’. The bottom line: More cosmetics claims are deceptive than verifiable. (Some of them are simply indecipherable. What the heck is ‘regenerist luminous facial oil’?)
– @MailOnline

Every year Butte, Montana holds its “Evel Knievel Days” festival, a 3-day celebration of extreme sports. At this year’s event, ‘Nitro Circus’ driver Gregg Godfrey decided to set a new world record in ‘Semi Truck Jumping’ and did so in quite a fashion. The old record was a measly 62 feet; Goddfrey and his Knievel-themed truck managed to soar 166 terrifying feet through the Butte sky.
– Digg.com

97% of the water on Earth is saltwater.
95% of the world’s oceanic territory has still not been explored.
90% of garbage in the ocean is plastic.
– List25.com


1945 [70] Jim Davis, Marian IN, really rich comic strip cartoonist (“Garfield”)

1957 [58] Scott Pelley, San Antonio TX, TV news anchor (“CBS Evening News” since 2011)/TV news correspondent (“60 Minutes” since 1999)

1976 [39] Jacoby Shaddix, Mariposa CA, alt-rock singer (Papa Roach-“Lifeline”, “Last Resort”)

1990 [25] Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em (DeAndre Way), Chicago IL, rapper (“Kiss Me Thru the Phone”, “Crank That [Soulja Boy]”)

1993 [22] Cher Lloyd, Malvern UK, pop singer-songwriter (f/Mike Posner-“With Ur Love”, “Swagger Jagger”)

• “Beatrix Potter Day”, honoring the English author who created the “Peter Rabbit” children’s books, on the anniversary of her 1866 birth.

• “Milk Chocolate Day”, an excuse for chocoholics everywhere to cow down!

• “World Hepatitis Day”, to create awareness that 1-in-12 people worldwide is living with either chronic hepatitis B or C, far higher than the prevalence of HIV or any type of cancer.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/n7x59x4

2006 [09] Actor-director Mel Gibson vents an ill-advised anti-Semitic tirade as he’s arrested for DUI in Malibu CA (the ensuing police mug-shot is pretty much a career-killer)

2005 [10] IRA issues a statement ordering the end to its armed campaign against the British

2011 [04] American swimmer Ryan Lochte sets a new world record for the 200-meter individual medley, winning gold at the 2011 World Aquatics Championships in Shanghai, China

2012 [03] A new Olympic record in the men’s 100-meter breaststroke is set at the 2012 Summer Olympics by Cameron van der Burgh of South Africa

[Wed] Microsoft Windows 10 release
[Wed] Chicken Wing Day
[Thurs] Father-In-Law Day
[Fri] Full ‘Blue’ Moon
[Fri] Lollapalooza opens (Chicago IL)
[Fri] Osheaga Music Festival opens (Montréal QC)
[Sat] OVO Fest opens (Toronto ON)
This Week Is … Fancy Rat & Mouse Week
This Month Is … Grilling Month


✗ The guy who always sits in the outside seat when there’s an empty window seat available, then huffs about having to get up and let someone squeeze past him.
✗ The loud girl who thinks all her phone calls are more important than a bit of peace and quiet in the morning.
✗ The man who smells like White Lightening, sweat, and disappointment at 6:45 in the morning.
✗ The woman whose designer handbag is apparently more worthy of a seat than you are.
✗ The guy with the red, bulbous nose who makes no effort at all to contain his gargantuan sneezes and instead showers everyone with his nasal germs.
✗ The kid who thinks it’s OK to blast his music from his phone and put his skanky trainers up on the seat.
✗ The guy who is far too big and important to learn how to keep his elbows in when reading a newspaper.
✗ The woman who just can’t save her lunch until lunchtime so ends up eating her stinky salmon & onion sandwich right next to you.
✗ The man who, frankly, should know about personal hygiene at his age.
✗ Manspreaders.
– Adapted from “Metro”

I’m hoping to find a cure for my hiccups, but I’m not holding my breath.

• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
• Why is it that almost anything is easier to get into than to get out of?
• Do deaf ventriloquists move their fingers when the dummy talks?
• Why is it that ‘fat chance’ and ‘slim chance’ mean the same thing?
• Laughing stock … cattle with a sense of humor?

New website Fitbay asks you to enter details about your body type, ie: height, weight, body shape, length of arms and torso. It then tells you which celebrity your proportions best match.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/nkv6wsl

A quarter of surveyed men pick which of the following as the only thing scarier than swimming with sharks?
a. Proposing marriage. [CORRECT]
b. Asking for a raise.
c. Forgetting wife’s birthday.

☎ What really strange thing do you collect?

Question: Female drivers are about 80% more likely to do THIS than male drivers.
Answer: Lose their keys.

Every food has its flavor.

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