Tuesday, July 29, 2014        Edition: #5272


Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Acting couple Ashton Kutcher & Mila Kunis are reportedly planning a wedding … and more babies. As the former “That ’70s Show” co-stars get ready to welcome a baby daughter into the world, they’re also planning their nuptials for next July, according to an inside source. Because they’re extremely private and tend to stay away from the Hollywood scene, it’s thought the wedding will be an intimate affair with only close friends and family. The snitch also says they both want a large family and intend to start on their next kid shortly after they tie the knot.
– RadarOnline.com
★ When Madonna decided to name her fitness chain, apparel, and DVD line ‘Hard Candy’, it’s unlikely she realized how much trouble the name would cause her. Beauty company Hard Candy is now suing her and her business partner for copyright infringement, claiming they stole the name. In court documents filed earlier this month, the company claimed the singer refused to sit for a deposition unless a judge ordered her to do so. Well now that has happened, meaning the case won’t be tossed out of court as Madonna was hoping.
– Plexidigest.com
★ Jay Z & Beyoncé famously ditched Kanye West & Kim Kardashian’s over-the-top Italian nuptials in May and now a juicy report is offering an explanation why. An insider says Beyoncé dreaded the thought of attending the lavish, made-for-reality TV wedding of her husband’s best friend and wasn’t going to allow a Kardashian to ‘socially climb her’. And Jay Z apparently didn’t want Kanye to wed Kim, as he thinks it’s bad for business. The frequent music collaborators toured the world together in 2011 but now it’s said that Jay has lost respect for Kanye.
– “New York Post”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – 12 of the top 48 acts perform in hope of earning votes from viewers.
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Jon Batiste & Stay Human (“Social Music”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Kiesza (“Hideaway”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Franz Ferdinand (“Live 2014″). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Rodrigo y Gabriela (“9 Dead Alive”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Oldies singer Bill Medley (Righteous Bros).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Jennifer Hudson (“I Remember Me”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – will.i.am (“#willpower”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Master P (“Boss Of All Bosses”). Rerun.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beck – In 2012 he released his “Song Reader” project, a collection of new songs available only as a book of sheet music. Today it’s being released as an album, with tracks recorded by an eclectic variety of musicians, including fun., Norah Jones, Jack White, and Jack Black.
• Jenny Lewis – She’s out with her new solo album “The Voyager” today. She says the project got her through one of the most difficult periods of her life, after her band Rilo Kiley broke up and she went through a personal meltdown.
• Jessie J – Today she releases “Bang Bang”, the 1st single from her forthcoming album due out this Fall. The track features guest vocals by Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj. It will also be included on the deluxe edition of Grande’s new album, My “Everything”, coming August 25th.
• Keith Urban – His weekend “Raise ‘Em Up Tour” concert in Mansfield, Massachusetts resulted in mayhem: 50 fans arrested for unspecified reasons; 46 treated for alcohol-related illnesses; 22 sent to hospital.
• Lady Gaga – Avant-garde director Robert Wilson has sold off his “23 Video Portraits of Lady Gaga” at his annual Watermill Center gala in the Hamptons NY. The controversial images include Gaga posing as a beheaded John the Baptist, and hanging tied-up and naked upside-down.
• Shakira – The 37-year-old singer and her soccer player-partner Gerard Piqué are reportedly expecting their 2nd child later this year. They already have 19-month-old son Milan together. A close friend says they are overjoyed about the prospect of becoming parents again.
• Theory Of a Deadman – Their new album “Savages” is out today. They’ll tour in support this Fall alongside Fozzy, fronted by wrestler/singer Chris Jericho.
• Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers – Today they release their first new studio album in 4 years, “Hypnotic Eye”. It’s available in CD, digital, high-resolution Blu-ray audio, and vinyl formats. They kick off a 30-date North American tour in support on August 3rd in San Diego CA.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Noah” ( PG-13 Biblical Drama ): Russell Crowe portrays the title character, the man chosen by God to undertake a momentous mission of rescue before an apocalyptic flood destroys the world. Co-stars Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Watson. Directed by Darren Aronofsky (“Black Swan”).
• “The Other Woman” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, and model-turned-actress Kate Upton star in this comedy about a woman who, after discovering her boyfriend is married, befriends his wife. Then another mistress comes forward, and together they all plot revenge. Sort of “The First Wives Club” (1996) reworked for present-day.
• Also released today: “Adventure Time: Princess Day” (Animation); “Frontline: The United States of Secrets” (Documentary); “The Grace Kelly Collection” (Compilation); “Herzog: The Collection” (Compilation); and “Mystery Science Theater 3000: XXX” (TV).

SKITTER RIDDER:
Want to repel mosquitoes? Several new phone apps emit ultrasonic frequencies designed to mimic the sound of predators, such as dragonflies, to frighten biting females. The software can also produce the sound made by the wings of male mosquitoes, which females are thought to avoid once they’ve mated. The official name for such apps is electronic mosquito repellents, or EMRs. The most popular is the ‘Anti Mosquito Sonic Repeller’. Its developers claim that the pitch of the sound it produces is so high, most humans don’t notice it. Experts have concerns about using EMRs as a standalone repellent, however, as none of them are 100% effective. (Check out this article from our archive about a ‘Radio Repellant’ … http://tinyurl.com/pdsyod2)
– CBS News

DELUXE DECK CHAIR:
The world’s first ‘driveable deck chair’ has been unveiled on the beach in Brighton, England. ‘The Ultimate Deck Chair’ was designed by artist Solomon Rogers to provide sun-seekers with an unrivaled beach-based experience. It’s equipped with a refrigerated slushy machine, built-in boom-box, even a GPS umbrella … that moves with the sun. The open-top, 4-wheeled vehicle also has a sandbox up front, so you can make castles while en route to your next destination. Wanna buy one? No such luck … this motor-powered deck chair was commissioned as a one-off promotion by car rental website Holiday Autos. (Darn it.)
– “Travelmail”

GREEN DOGS:
They are the most loyal of pets, so it’s perhaps no surprise that dogs become jealous when we don’t show them the same level of devotion. A new University of California study has found that dogs, like people, can experience envy. In experiments owners purposely ignored their pet in favor of a stuffed dog and other objects. The dogs exhibited jealous behavior such as snapping, pawing, jumping, and pushing whenever their owners displayed affection for the stuffed dog. While dog owners may not find the result very surprising, many scientists have long argued that the complexity of thought behind jealousy makes it a uniquely human emotion. This study seems to refute that idea. (The complexity of ‘bite your ass’ is exhibited whenever you block your pooch’s food bowl.)
– CNN.com

WOW, YOU’RE 92% CRAP:
Only 8.2% of human DNA does something important and the rest is just ‘junk’, according to new research. Scientists at Oxford University in the UK have found that genes make up just over 1% of our useful genetic material. The remaining 7% of important material is littered with switches that control these genes. The rest is junk DNA – an evolutionary hangover that, much like the appendix, doesn’t do any good but also doesn’t do any harm. Much of it is doing nothing at all, according to the landmark study. This is a major overhaul to thinking on the subject. It was previously estimated that 80% of our DNA was ‘functional’. (Now, about your brain …)
– “PLOS Genetic”

THUMBS UP FOR THIS ‘BOT:
There’s a robot making a trip across Canada by … hitchhiking. The ‘HitchBot’ project is part of a McMaster University research project investigating interaction between people and technology. The little traveler, about the size of a 6-year-old child, is entirely dependent on human beings for its survival. It’s powered with solar panels covering the beer cooler bucket that makes up its torso, and can also be recharged from car cigarette lighters or a regular outlet. The ‘bot set off on Sunday just outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia and was quickly picked up by a couple heading to New Brunswick. The researchers hope it charms its way into enough rides to make it to Victoria, British Columbia. Along the more than 6,000-km journey HitchBot is sharing its adventures via social media. (You likely wouldn’t stop for a human; would you stop for a ‘bot?)
NET: http://www.hitchbot.me
– CBC.ca

HOTEL WIFI TEST:
Worried about poor Internet connections while on vacation? There’s a new website that ranks hotels by the speed of their wi-fi. ‘Hotel WiFi Test’ is mandated to rank Internet connections in hotels around-the-world not only by speed but also by service charges if any. Travelers can also use an onsite search bar to find hotels in a specific area with fast wi-fi. So far the site, which uses data from users, is offering info about hotels in Amsterdam, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Las Vegas, London, NYC, San Francisco, and Singapore. According to users, the top major hotel chains for fast and reliable Internet include Crowne Plaza, Hyatt, Marriott, and Sheraton.
NET: https://www.hotelwifitest.com
– DailyMail.co.uk

DID YOU KNOW?
It’s possible to charge a smartphone using 800 apples and potatoes connected with copper wire and nails. (Not very portable, however.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

BS CHRONOMETER 07.29.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1914 [100] ‘Professor’ Irwin Corey, Brooklyn NY, comedian (“The World’s Foremost Authority”)/movie actor (“The Curse Of the Jade Scorpion”, “Car Wash”)

1953 [61] Ken Burns, NYC, Emmy Award-winning writer, producer, documentary-maker (“The Dust Bowl”, “The Civil War”)

1953 [61] Tim Gunn, Washington DC, fashion consultant/TV personality (“Project Runway”, “Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style”)/author (“A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style”)

1953 [61] Geddy Lee, Toronto ON, classic rock singer-bassist (Rush-”Far Cry”, “Test for Echo”)

1953 [61] Patti Scialfa, Deal NJ, classic rock singer (E Street Band-”Born In the USA”, “Glory Days”)/Mrs Bruce Springsteen since 1991

1966 [48] Martina McBride (Schiff), Medicine Lodge KS, country singer (“A Broken Wing”, “This One’s For the Girls”)

1973 [41] Wanyá Morris, Philadelphia PA, pop-R&B singer (Boyz II Men-”I’ll Make Love to You”, “End Of the Road”)

1974 [40] Josh Radnor, Bexley OH, TV actor (“How I Met Your Mother” 2005-14)

1977 [37] Danger Mouse (Brian Burton), White Plains NY, pop recording artist (Gnarls Barkley-”Crazy”, Broken Bells-”The High Road”)/record producer (Gorillaz, The Black Keys)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Lasagna Day” celebrating the famous Italian dish that’s become a worldwide favorite. Almost all recipes for the ‘perfect lasagna’ feature ricotta as the cheese of choice. However, everybody seems to have their own secret ingredient. What’s yours?

• “International Tiger Day”, set aside to promote a global system for protecting the natural habitats of tigers and to raise public awareness and support for tiger conservation issues.

• “Lipstick Day”, celebrating the cosmetic that has allowed women to quit biting their lips to make them appear pinker.

• “Rain Day” in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, an annual event that started when a local farmer noticed it always seems to rain on July 29th. They now claim it’s rained on this date in 113 of the 140 years since. Today’s forecast: 30% probability of precipitation only. Oops!
NET: http://www.raindayfestival.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [14] High-profile acting couple Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston wed in Malibu, California (they separate after 4-and-a-half years, thanks to that hussy Angelina)

2006 [08] Actor Mel Gibson issues a lengthy statement apologizing for his drunk driving arrest the day before and for ‘despicable statements’ made toward the deputies who arrested him in Malibu, California (the entire incident is a career killer). Here’s the infamous mugshot …
NET: http://www.truelifecrimes.com/mel_gibson_mugshot.jpg

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2005 [09] An anonymous bidder plays $1 million at auction for the original handwritten lyrics to The Beatles’ “All You Need Is Love”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1967 [47] The Doors score their first #1 hit with “Light My Fire”

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1988 [26] Reg Morris of Walsall UK sets world record for ‘Crawling on Hands & Knees’ at 28.5
miles or 45.9 km (his wife still refuses to take him back)

2003 [11] Boston’s Bill Mueller becomes the 1st player in Major League Baseball history to hit grand slam home runs from both sides of the plate in a single game, leading the Red Sox to a 14-7 win over the Rangers in Texas)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] “Sharknado 2: The Second One” premieres (SyFy)
[Wed] Cheesecake Day
[Wed] Father-In-Law Day
[Thurs] Bratwurst Day
[Fri] Lollapalooza begins (Chicago IL)
This Week Is … Fancy Rat & Mouse Week
This Month Is … Recreation & Parks Month

BULL’S BITS


OTHER BS USES FOR BABY WIPES:
✓ Degreasing your phone.
✓ Crushing bugs.
✓ Moistening a temporary tattoo.
✓ Wiping-down the refrigerator handles.
✓ Cleaning mulch off a hot dog.
✓ Wiping snot off the window.
✓ Wiping snot off the iPad.
✓ Spot-cleaning your jeans.
✓ Prying a raisin off the bottom of a shoe.
✓ Cleaning a shoe print off of someone’s face.
– Adapted from JasonGood.net

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Whose posters did you have on your wall when you were growing up?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I know I’m getting old … last year my insurance company sent me half a calendar.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average woman takes nearly a week to make THIS decision.
Answer: Whether or not to break up with a guy.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A pessimist is someone who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.


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