Friday, July 3, 2015        Edition: #5487

Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

★ Less than 2 weeks after Sean Penn and Charlize Theron split, it appears he has a new woman in his life. His latest paramour is said to be actress Minka Kelly, of “Friday Night Lights” fame. Penn (54) took Kelly out to celebrate her 35th birthday along with some of her pals at renowned restaurant The French Laundry in Napa Valley, California for their first date. They apparently met at a benefit for his Haiti relief organization. 19-years-younger Kelly now joins Penn’s long list of leading ladies that has included Scarlett Johansson, Madonna, and, of course, former wife Robin Wright.
– “Us Weekly”
★ Rachel McAdams & fellow Canadian Taylor Kitsch are reportedly dating after meeting on the set of the TV drama “True Detective” (HBO). The co-stars have been spotted on a dinner date at West Hollywood’s Osteria Mozza and sources say they’re now the hot new show biz couple. According to one snitch: “It hasn’t been long, but it’s serious.” Kitsch recently ended his relationship with fitness instructor Jennifer Welch. McAdams has previously dated co-stars, including Ryan Gosling (“The Notebook”) and Michael Sheen (“Midnight in Paris”).
★ And here’s some odd fallout from the Confederate flag battle being waged in America. TV Land is pulling re-runs of the sitcom “Dukes of Hazzard” (1979-85), because the Civil War-era flag is famously featured on the roof of the show’s souped-up 1969 Dodge Charger, nicknamed ‘General Lee’. Viacom-owned TV Land has declined to comment on why it’s cancelled the show, but there’s been growing criticism of displays of the flag ever since the mass-shooting of African-American churchgoers in South Carolina last month.

• “Bruce Jenner – The Interview” (ABC) – Saturday a rerun of Diane Sawyer’s exclusive interview with Bruce-turned-Caitlyn Jenner.
• “A Capitol Fourth” (PBS) – Saturday Bradley Whitford leads the annual concert; performances by Alabama, Barry Manilow, and Hunter Hayes.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin); One Direction (“Four”). Rerun.
• “Fare Thee Well: Celebrating 50 Years of Grateful Dead” (Chicago IL) – Tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday the surviving members of the legendary jam band (Mickey Hart, Bill Kreutzmann, Phil Lesh, and Bob Weir) reunite for 3 shows at Soldier Field for what’s billed as their last-ever performance together. They’ll do 2 sets each night. Available on Pay-Per-View, YouTube webcast (for a fee), and also showing in select movie theaters.
• “4th of July Fireworks Spectacular” (NBC) – Saturday starbursts explode over NYC; Brad Paisley, Dierks Bentley, Ed Sheeran, Flo Rida, and Kelly Clarkson perform.
• “FIFA Women’s World Cup Final” (CTV/TSN/FOX) – Sunday at BC Place in Vancouver, Japan and the USA meet again in the final. The Americans are trying for a 3rd title.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Mika (“No Place in Heaven”) performs.
• “iHeartMedia Summer Pool Party” (CW) – Tonight a rerun of the May 29th bash at Caesars Palace, Las Vegas. Performances by Chris Brown, David Guetta, Echosmith, Kelly Clarkson, Nick Jonas, Nicki Minaj, and Shaggy.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Nate Ruess (“Grand Romantic”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight San Fermin (“Jackrabbit”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Chad Smith (Red Hot Chili Peppers). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Josh Groban (“Stages”).
• Made In America (Philadelphia PA) – Sunday-Monday the 2015 edition features Beyoncé, Death Cab For Cutie, J Cole, Meek Mill, Metric, Modest Mouse, The Weeknd and many others. Last year’s twin festival in Los Angeles is not being repeated.
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Jennifer Lopez (“AKA”). Rerun.
• Montreux Jazz Festival (Lake Geneva, Switzerland) – The 2015 lineup tonight through July 18th includes Alabama Shakes, Chemical Bros, John Legend, Lady Gaga w/Tony Bennett, Lenny Kravitz, Lionel Richie, Mary J Blige, and a recovered Sam Smith.
• “Today” (NBC) – Today Flo Rida (“My House”) performs.
• Wireless Festival (London UK) – The 10th annual 3-day urban music bash in Finsbury Park is headlined by Drake, Kendrick Lamar, and Nicki Minaj.

• Breaking Benjamin – They’ve earned the first #1 album of their career with “Dark Before Dawn”, which tops the new ‘Billboard 200’ all-genre chart. It’s their 1st new album in 6 years. Frontman Ben Burnley is the only original member currently in the band.
• Foo Fighters – Saturday they celebrate their 20th anniversary with a massive all day extravaganza at RFK Stadium in Washington DC. The “20th Anniversary Blowout” includes many artists who contributed to the “Sonic Highways” album/TV project.
• Kacey Musgraves – Her latest release, “Pageant Material”, has debuted at #1 on the new ‘Billboard Country Albums’ listing.
• Lil Wayne – His long-awaited “Free Weezy” is scheduled to drop tomorrow. The actual album, “Tha Carter V”, has been shelved for months by his label, so in all likelihood he’ll frame “Free Weezy” as a mix-tape or an EP to avoid legal disputes.
• Meghan Trainor – Her new Summer-long “M-Train Tour” kicks off tonight in Atlantic City NJ and hits some 30 markets before wrapping up September 6th in Allentown, PA. Charlie Puth and Life of Dillon are the opening acts.
• Prince – As of yesterday he’s withdrawn all his music from most online streaming services, including industry leader Spotify. The sole service still carrying Prince’s music is Jay Z’s Tidal.
• Rihanna – The RIAA has just confirmed she’s #1 on the list of artists with the most Digital Single Awards (downloads & on-demand streams). She’s also the first and only artist to surpass the 100 million cumulative singles threshold.
• Trisha Yearwood – She’s in the Country Music Hall of Fame … or at least her memorabilia is. The new exhibition “Trisha Yearwood: The Song Remembers When” opens today and runs through December.
• Willie Nelson – Tomorrow the 42nd edition of his “4th of July Picnic” takes place at the Circuit Of the Americas’ Austin360 Amphitheater. There are performances from more than 20 artists on 2 stages. Among them: Eric Church, Kacey Musgraves, and Merle Haggard.
• Van Halen – A new Summer tour with David Lee Roth fronting the seminal rock band gets underway Saturday in Seattle WA. It runs through October 2nd in Los Angeles CA.

• “Amy” ( Limited Release R-Rated Music Documentary ): Director Asif Kapadia tells the story of late Brit singer Amy Winehouse in her own words, using previously unseen archival footage and unheard tracks. The film strives to get beyond the drink-and-drug-addled public persona that eventually claimed her life. Appearances by Mark Ronson, Russell Brand, Tony Bennett.
• Also opening in limited release: “Cartel Land” (Documentary); “Jackie & Ryan” (Drama); and “Jimmy’s Hall” (Drama).

It’s easy enough to tote around your own water bottle and fill it from the tap, right? So it would seem like removing single-use water bottles from vending machines would be a good step to cut down on waste while still allowing people to gulp a healthy amount of agua. Not so much, according to a new University of Vermont study. The move away from plastic bottles is actually having the opposite effect. After a plastic water bottle ban, people consume 25% more sugary drinks than when water bottles were available. That means they take in significantly more sugar, caffeine, and empty calories. Bottom line: It seems we don’t go looking for a water fountain when bottles aren’t for sale, we just pick another drink to buy. (How lazy are we?)
– Condensed from “Glamour”

Based on total income over the past 12 months …
1. Garth Brooks ($90 million)
2. Toby Keith ($53 million)
3. Jason Aldean ($43.5 million)
4. Luke Bryan ($42.5 million)
5. Kenny Chesney ($42 million)
6. Tim McGraw ($38 million)
7. Florida Georgia Line ($36.5 million)
8. Zac Brown Band ($32 million)
9. (tie) Blake Shelton/Miranda Lambert ($28.5 million each)

A new roller-skating limbo record has been set. Huh? Yes, that’s right … a young boy in Dharmapuri, India nicknamed Little Rithika has set the record for ‘Longest Distance Traveled While Limbo Dancing On Roller Skates’. Lil Rithika slid under 15-cm-high (6-inch) bars one after another for a total of 60 meters (197 ft). (But can he do it while playing a ukelele and whistling?)

The most shoplifted food item in North America is candy. In Europe, it’s cheese. In Latin America, it’s meat.


1962 [53] Tom Cruise (Thomas Mapother IV), Syracuse NY, movie star (“Edge of Tomorrow”, “Mission Impossible” films)  UP NEXT: “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation” July 31st.

1962 [53] Thomas Gibson, Charleston SC, TV actor (‘Aaron Hotchner’ on “Criminal Minds” since 2005)

1964 [51] Yeardley Smith, Paris, France, TV voice actress (‘Lisa Simpson’ on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1971 [44] Julian Assange, Townsville, Australia, journalist/publisher/activist/founder of WikiLeaks  BS FACTOID: Since June 19th, 2012 he’s been living at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, where he’s been granted political asylum.

1980 [34] Olivia Munn, Oklahoma City OK, movie actress (“Magic Mike”, “Iron Man 2”)/TV actress (“The Newsroom” 2012-14, “The Daily Show” 2010-11)  COMING UP: “X-Men: Apocalypse” 2016.

TV actor-comedian Al Madrigal (”The Daily Show”) is 44; R&B singer Melanie Fiona (“Monday Morning”) is 32; US presidential daughter Malia Obama is 17.

TV actress Edie Falco (“Nurse Jackie”) is 52; Rock singer-guitarist Jason Wade (Lifehouse) is 35; Country musician Dave Haywood (Lady Antebellum) is 33; Rock bassist Nick O’Malley (Arctic Monkeys) is 30; Pop-electronica musician Adam Young (Owl City) is 29.

• “Calgary Stampede”, the 103rd annual world famous rodeo & festival through July 12th in Calgary, Alberta. This year’s entertainment includes Blake Shelton, Jason Aldean, Kiesza, Magic!, Miranda Lambert, OK Go, and Stevie Wonder.
• “Compliment Your Mirror Day”. Participation consists of complimenting your mirror on having such a wonderful owner and keeping track of whether other mirrors you meet during the day smile at you. (This is much more fun if you have a prescription for medical marijuana.)
• “Dog Days of Summer” begin, according to “The Old Farmer’s Almanac”. Traditionally the hottest 40 days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, the name comes from the ancients who would sacrifice a brown dog at this time to appease Sirius, the Dog Star. “Air Conditioning Appreciation Days” run simultaneously, and today is also “Stay Out Of the Sun Day”.
• “International Plastic Bag-Free Day”, a day to pick paper over plastic or, even better, a bag that’s reusable. ‘Disposable’ plastic bags are one of the world’s worst environmental problems.
• “World Wife Carrying Championships”, the 23rd annual in Sonkajarvi, Finland in which men from around-the-world tote their wives (or a female friend) around an 830-ft (250-m) obstacle course in hope of winning her weight in beer. The current record is 55.5 seconds.

• “Barbecue Day”, celebrating the time-honored tradition of roasting flesh over an open flame.
• “Country Music Day”, celebrating the roots music movement that began in America over 80 years ago with the Carter Family and Jimmie Rodgers. Country is actually a mishmash of several other styles, including folk, Celtic, blues, gospel, hokum, and old-time music.
• “International Cherry Pit Spitting Contest”, the 42nd annual expectorates in Eau Claire, Michigan. Entrants eat a cherry and then spit the pit as far as possible.
• “Running Of the Nudes” in Pamplona, Spain, the 11th annual protest of bullfighting organized by PETA just ahead of the town’s annual “Running Of the Bulls”.
• “US Independence Day”, celebrating the country’s declaration of nationhood in 1776. Among the more unusual 4th of July festivals: “Sidewalk Egg-Frying Challenge” in Oatman AZ; “World’s Greatest Lizard Race” in Lovington NM; and the vegan-inspired “Independence from Meat Day”.

• “Bikini Day”, celebrating the 1946 unveiling of the landmark swimsuit by designer Louis Reard at a Paris press conference, which he described as ‘4 triangles of nothing’. The bikini is named after a tiny Pacific atoll where early atomic bomb tests were performed.
• “Graham Cracker Day”, saluting the wafer developed in 1829 by Presbyterian minister Sylvester Graham who believed consumption of graham flour suppressed ‘carnal urges’.
• “Tour de France”, the 102nd edition of the world’s premiere cycle race gets underway with the Grand Départ of 22 teams in Utrecht, The Netherlands. The race runs through July 26th in 21 stages, covering a total distance of 3,360 km (2,088 miles) before finishing on the famous Champs-Élysées in Paris. (Does the winner have to do a victory lap?)
• “Workaholics Day”, a day to remove your nose from the grindstone … just once.

1985 [30] “Back To the Future” opens in movie theaters, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, and a customized 1981 DeLorean DMC-12 sports car (the first film of a triology)

2007 [08] Action-adventure “Transformers” opens in movie theaters, starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, and Josh Duhamel (spawns 3 sequels)

2012 [03] “The Amazing Spider-Man”, starring Andrew Garfield & Emma Stone, opens in movie theaters (goes on to gross over $750 million worldwide)

2002 [13] Elton John becomes the first-ever performer to be granted an honorary doctorate from England’s Royal Academy of Music

2004 [11] Maria Sharapova wins her 1st Grand Slam tennis title by beating Serena Williams 6-1, 6-4 at Wimbledon

2014 [01] Dow Jones Industrial Average closes above 17,000 for the 1st time ever

1988 [27] Rocky Kenover sets a world record by skydiving 403 times within 24 hours, averaging  1 jump every 3 minutes using 7 planes, 10 pilots, and 50 parachute packers

[Mon] World Kiss Day
[Mon] Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day
[Tues] Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day
[Tues] Global Forgiveness Day
[Tues] Tell The Truth Day
This Week Is … Canned Luncheon Meat Week
This Month Is … Tahiti Awareness Month


• If you jogged backwards, would you gain weight?
• If evolution is fact, why do mothers still only have 2 hands?
• If you walk through the screen door, will you strain yourself?
• Is it true that cannibals won’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
• Is a sweater a garment worn by a child whenever his mother feels chilly?

I have a screwdriver in my hand. This is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill.

☎ Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? What is it? How long has this been going on?

Question: Over 90% of homes have one of THESE.
Answer: A junk drawer.

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

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