Monday, July 30, 2012        Edition: #4797

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

• The latest on the Jackson mess has 32-year-old TJ Jackson (Tito Jr) and 82-year-old family matriarch Katherine agreeing to joint-custody of Michael Jackson’s kids, Prince (15), Paris (14), and Blanket (10). Both parties are expected to go to court this week to make the agreement official. (Cynics are saying Katherine likes the deal because she can now pass the day-to-day child-raising duties on to TJ but still control the kids’ $70k weekly allowance.)
• An insider says actor Robert Pattinson was just ‘weeks away’ from proposing to Kristen Stewart before finding out she had an affair with her “Snow White & The Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders. Saturday morning a moving truck was spotted pulling out of the driveway of the $6-million LA mansion the “Twilight” stars called home. (Should he forgive her or forget her?)
– “Sunday Mirror”
• Actor Charlie Sheen is being joined by his dad Martin Sheen as a full-time cast member on “Anger Management” (FX). The elder Sheen will play ‘Martin Goodson’, father of Charlie Sheen’s character, ‘Charlie Goodson’. (So let’s see: Charlie plays a guy with anger issues and his father plays his father … wow, this is pretty inventive stuff!)
– QMI Agency
• The 6 adult stars of “Modern Family” (ABC) agreed to new contracts Friday, ending a dispute that erupted just as the show started work on its 4th season. The cast members’ lawsuit will be dropped as part of the agreement. Financial terms were not disclosed but it was announced that “Modern Family” will start its season on schedule September 26th. (It’s all about timing.)
• “American Horror Story” is adding more names to its ever-expanding Season 2 cast. Jenna Dewan Tatum, who recently celebrated her 3-year anniversary with “Magic Mike” star Channing Tatum, has been cast as Adam Levine’s love interest. Franka Potente (“Bourne” films) is also joining the cast. Show creator Ryan Murphy (“Glee”) says the 2nd season will be ‘fun, sexy and baroque.’ (Alrighty then.)
– E! Online
• And radio personality-turned-media mogul Ryan Seacrest is preparing to produce his first movie, a culinary-themed comedy called “Food Fight”. It’s thought the film will be loosely based on celebrity chef Jamie Oliver’s reality show “Food Revolution”, which Seacrest also exec produces. (We can only surmise his movie will match the standard of quality he brings to all his other cheesy projects.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”


• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Thenewno2 (“Thefearofmissingout”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Colbie Caillat (“All Of You”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Patti Smith (“Banga”). Rerun.


• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – They’ve announced a new Fall leg to their “2012 Wrecking Ball Tour”. 16 additional North American dates have been added, starting October 19th in Ottawa, Ontario and wrapping up in Glendale, Arizona December 6th.
• Carrie Underwood – Today the broadcast and online world premieres of her latest video, “Blown Away”, take place during a 24-hour exclusive window on “E! News” and E! Online.
• Dierks Bentley – He’s ascended to the top of this week’s “Billboard” magazine ‘Country Songs’ chart with his single “5-1-5-0”.
• Green Day – Billie Joe Armstrong will serve as a mentor for Christina Aguilera’s team on “The Voice” (NBC) next season. The 3rd season begins September 10th, just ahead of Green Day’s album release “¡Uno!” on September 25th.
• Justin Bieber – Acting couple Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard aren’t feeling ‘Bieber Fever’ since the teen pop star has become their new neighbor. Shepard says with the ‘music and the parties and the paparazzi … it’s like living in Lebanon’. (They have paparazzi in Lebanon?)
• Kanya West – He’s commissioned a jeweler to design a one-of-a-kind new ring using a ruby ring and earrings that belonged to his late mother Donda, who died in 2007. Tongues are wagging in Kanye’s camp that he’s going to use it to propose to girlfriend Kim Kardashian.
• Katy Perry – Word has it she wasn’t very welcoming to Lindsay Lohan when she tried to befriend her at a roller disco. Katy ordered pals to get rid of the actress at the party she threw for her stylist Johnny Wujek in California a couple of weeks back. Katy told her friends to keep Lohan away as she was ‘acting really weird’. (Makes a change from just acting badly.)
• Lady Gaga – She’ll make her acting debut playing a character named ‘La Chameleon’ in Robert Rodriguez’s “Machete Lives”, the sequel to his cult favorite “Machete”. The film’s supporting cast also includes Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Jessica Alba, Sofia Vergara, and Zoe Saldana. It is expected out next year.


How would the natural world compare if it could compete against human athletes?
• Faster – If Usain Bolt were trounced by a Cheetah, the world’s fastest land animal, it likely wouldn’t surprise you. But did you know a Brown Hare can run 100 m in just 5 seconds; and our closer relative the Patas Monkey could knock 3 seconds off Bolt’s record 9.58 seconds?
• Higher – Olympic athletes can clear over 2.5 m in the high jump and lengths of 9 m in the long jump. But Bush Babies can jump 2.25 m high, which would be the equivalent of Andrey Silnov clearing 2 stacked double-decker buses. And for distance fleas deserve the gold, catapulting themselves up to 33 cm … over 200 times their body length.
• Stronger – The natural world’s favorite for gold in any throwing event is the Hat Thrower Fungus. At barely 5 cm in height it can propel a spore capsule a mighty 2 m away in an effort to clear the zone of repugnance.
– Condensed from “BBC Nature”


Take note Jacksons! An innovative psychological therapy has been designed to encourage families to air out disagreements. One member gets into a coffin and pretends to be dead as the rest gather around and say things they’d likely never say if the person was alive. (“He’s a cheap bastard, but he looks so natural.”)
– PA News


A recent study in the “Academy of Management Journal” finds that the Major League Baseball teams that perennially rank worst in the standings are those with the largest pay gap between their top stars and the rest of the team. (Houston’s Francisco Cordero … $4.5 million. Rest of the team … a dollar-ninety-eight.)


A recent survey finds that the average woman is now spending 15 minutes less in the bathroom each week, while the average man is spending 10 minutes more. (The trend is NOT attributed to any change in who does the cleaning.)


The first marathon of the London Olympics took place not on the track, but in the recording studio. Producer Jake Jackson supervised composer/arranger Philip Shepherd and the London Philharmonic in recording all 201 national anthems of the countries participating in the 2012 Games. It took 51 hours of recording over a period of 6 days, with a total of 974 takes in Abbey Road Studio 2. Factoring in breaks, that’s about 12 minutes to crank out each anthem, each about a minute long.


✓ Kim Kardashian’s first boyfriend was TJ Jackson (Tito Jr), the new guardian of Michael Jackson’s kids.
✓ The 750,000 feral camels that roam the Australian outback are now the world’s largest wild herd.
– “Magazine Monitor”
✓ Men’s brains are designed to shut down after sex.
– “Sunday Times”


1947 [65] Arnold Schwarzenegger, Thal, Austria, 38th California governor 2003-11/movie actor (“The Expendables” films, “Terminator” movies)/5-time ‘Mr Universe’/married to Maria Shriver (1986-2011)

1961 [51] Laurence Fishburne, Augusta GA, movie actor (“21”, “Matrix” trilogy)/TV actor (“CSI” 2008-11)  COMING UP: Plays ‘Perry White’ in “Man of Steel” (2013).

1963 [49] Lisa Kudrow, Encino CA, TV actress (“Web Therapy” since 2011, “Friends” 1994-2004)/TV producer (“Who Do You Think You Are?”)/movie actress (“Hotel For Dogs”, “PS I Love You”)

1970 [42] Christopher Nolan, London UK, movie director/producer/screenwriter (“The Dark Knight Rises”, “The Dark Knight”, “Batman Begins”)  COMING UP: Co-producer/co-writer of “Man of Steel”, opening June 14, 2013.

1971 [41] Brad Hargreaves, Marin County CA, alt-rock drummer/vocalist (Third Eye Blind-“Never Let You Go”, “Jumper”)

1974 [38] Hilary Swank, Lincoln NE, movie actress (Oscars-“Million Dollar Baby”, “Boys Don’t Cry”)

1977 [35] Jaime Pressly, Kinston NC, TV actress (“I Hate My Teenage Daughter 2011-12, “My Name Is Earl” 2005-09)/movie actress (“I Love You, Man”, “Not Another Teen Movie”)

1980 [32] Seth Avett, Corncord NC, indie folk-rock singer/guitarist (Avett Bros-“I and Love and You”)


• “Cheesecake Day”, a day to indulge yourself in one of the most decadent of all desserts.

• “Father-In-Law Day”, honoring the spousal parent that’s never been all that impressed with you … so why bother with a card?

• “Kiss Your Car Day”, a day to show how much you really, really love her. But don’t forget this month’s payment or you can kiss your car … goodbye.

• “Paperback Book Day”,  marking the start of the paperback book revolution with publication of Penguin #1, “Ariel, The Life of Shelley” by Andre Maurois in London this date in 1935. Books had been published with soft covers in Leipzig, Germany as early as 1841 but never really caught on. (If nothing else, paperbacks have made reading less dangerous … when you nod off and the book falls on your face.)


2002 [10] “Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire” (book 4 in the series) is published


2003 [09] ‘SARStock Concert’ in Toronto draws 400,000-plus to see the Rolling Stones, AC/DC, Rush, and many others in a bid to prove the city’s safety after an outbreak of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome


1962 [50] ‘Trans-Canada Highway’ opens, longest in North America at 7,307 km (4,384 mi)


1988 [24] Ronald Dossenbach begins record ‘Bike Ride Across Canada’ (Vancouver to Halifax in 13 days)


[Tues] Mutts Day
[Tues] Make Homemade Ice Cream Day
[Tues] Invite the Neighbors Over Day
[Wed] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon
[Wed] Girlfriends Day
[Wed] Spider-Man Day
[Wed] World Wide Web Day
This Week Is … Single Working Women’s Week
This Month Is … Bereaved Parents Awareness Month


A highlight bit culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Blindfold Fencing
• Charades in Pajamas
• Endurance Squatting
• Steroid-Enhanced Armpit Shaving
• Equestrian Synchronized Swimming
• Drunken Yachting
• Apartment Hunting
• Javelin Tag
• Speed-Walking with a Bad Rash
– First published in “BS” 2000.


“Are you a Pole Vaulter?” “No, I’m German … and how do you know my name?”


• According to research in both California and England, which pet is most likely to anticipate in advance when its owner will arrive home?
a. Dog [CORRECT]
b. Cat
c. Gerbil

• To the dismay of bunny-lovers, the last one closed down 24 years ago today (1988). What was it?
a. Lucky rabbit’s foot factory.
b. ‘Bugs Bunny’ animation studio.
c. Playboy Club. [CORRECT. It was in Lansing, Michigan.]


Facebook-inspired eyeshadow? Yep, it’s from ‘Social-Ite’.


☎ Was the Olympics opening ceremony the best ever? We say yes … with the exception of the TV commentators. Trying to make it all about themselves and incessantly telling us what we’re already looking at … nothing short of annoying!


Question: As recently as 1990, kids spent an hour more per day doing THIS than they do today.
Answer: Sleeping.


In the race for quality, there is no finish line.


Tom Finn @ KM FM, Kent UK; Amber @, Fullerton, California; Gillian MacLeod @ Q99 [CIKT] Grande Prairie, Alberta; Georgina Harrison @ Chorley FM, Chorley UK; and Gagan @ 94.3 My FM, Chandigarh, India. Welcome all!

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s “BS” Issue!

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