Wednesday, July 31, 2013        Edition: #5036

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

✶ The producer of the SyFy TV movie phenomenon “Sharknado” has dismissed reports suggesting 37-year-old actress Tara Reid will be axed from the sequel. David Latt says he’s hoping to bring back the entire cast from the original disaster spoof for the followup. Reid played leading man Ian Ziering’s estranged wife in the bizarre film about a violent storm that rains killer sharks onto LA. In response, Reid has tweeted: “There is no script for ‘Sharknado 2’. When I read it then I will make a decision.” (Right. Not like you’re busy doing anything else.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
✶ To honor their co-star Cory Monteith, who died of a drug & booze overdose earlier this month, “Glee” stars Jane Lynch (‘Sue’), Darren Criss (‘Blaine’), Jenna Ushkowitz (‘Tina’), and Harry Shum Jr (‘Mike’) have funded a scholarship in the name of the late actor. The arts scholarship will be awarded through the Dance Educators of America, a non-profit professional dance organization. (Classy.)
✶ 48-year-old one-time “LA Law” actor Blair Underwood is set to star in a remake of the vintage TV detective series “Ironside” (1967-75), which starred Raymond Burr. As in the original show, Underwood’s character, ‘Robert Ironside’, will use a wheelchair after being paralyzed from the waist down. He will also end each episode by drinking a glass of bourbon. NBC-TV has ordered up 13 episodes scheduled to begin October 2nd. (Is recycling shows a good idea?)
– BBC Entertainment News
✶ And former child star Mackenzie Rosman is set to shock fans by posing for men’s magazine “Maxim”. The 23-year-old actress, who played the youngest daughter of a religious family on the long-running TV series “7th Heaven” (1996-2007), admits her new underwear shots for the September issue are sure to stir up controversy. Quote: “People might be surprised but it’s who I am.” (BS translation: Haven’t had a sniff of employment since the series ended.)

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – 4 acts advance to the next round.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros (“Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Queens Of the Stone Age (… Like Clockwork”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) –  Hanni El Khatib (“Head In the Dirt”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Backstreet Boys (“In a World Like This”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Hanni El Khatib again.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Lionel Richie (“Tuskeegee”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Kopecky Family Band (“Kids Raising Kids”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Michael Franti (“All People”).

• Jack White – He’s donated $200,000 to help establish the National Recording Preservation Foundation (NRPF), which will support archives, libraries, cultural institutions and others committed to preserving radio, music, and recorded sound heritage.
• Justin Bieber – Canada’s Border Patrol has busted one of his tour buses after specialist dogs sniffed out marijuana during an inspection at the Ambassador Bridge on the Michigan-Ontario border. The driver was issued a citation and then released. Bieber was not aboard at the time.
• Katy Perry – She’s revealed that she did some backup vocals on the new Britney Spears song “Ooh La La!”, featured in “Smurfs 2”. It was written by frequent Perry collaborator Bonnie McKee.
• Lady Antebellum – They’ll kick off their “Take Me Downtown Tour 2013” on November 8th in Mississippi. Lady A had to curtail touring in June due to Hillary Scott’s pregnancy.
• Miley Cyrus – “We Can’t Stop” has become the fastest music video to be certified for 100 million views on VEVO, reaching that mark in just 37 days.
• The Wanted – They’re accused of throwing champagne from their 2nd-floor room onto a passerby during a wild party for Jay McGuiness’ birthday at the Marylebone Hotel in London.

“The Smurfs 2” ( 3-D PG Animated Fantasy ): The followup to the 2011 film is set in Paris, where the Smurfs team up with their human friends to rescue ‘Smurfette’, who has been kidnaped by ‘Gargamel’. Voice cast includes Hank Azaria, Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, Katy Perry. Soundtrack includes “Ooh La La” by Britney Spears, “High Life” by Nelly Furtado.

In a surprise to the auto industry, some pickup truck owners are trying to give their vehicles a tougher look by having the entire body sprayed with bedliner material. Spraying the cargo bed of pickups with a thick coat of protective plastic to prevent dings & scratches has long been an aftermarket option. But now it’s become a fad to create a more macho appearance by covering the entire truck nose-to-tailgate. The process doesn’t come cheap: $3,000-to-$5,000. (Nice thing is, when someone eggs your vehicle for its goofy appearance … eggs won’t stick.)
– “USA Today”

A new ranking based on total income over the past year …
5. Emma Stone … $16 million.
4. Jennifer Aniston … $20 million.
3. Kristen Stewart … $22 million.
2. Jennifer Lawrence … $26 million.
1. Angelina Jolie … $33 million.

Though Prince George Alexander Louis has a while to go before he can take his first legal sip, the newborn 3rd in line to the British throne already has a beer in his name. McMullens Brewery, a Brit brewer based in Hertford, has released a special ale dubbed ‘Heir Raiser’ to celebrate the royal birth. The light brew is just 3.8% alcohol by volume. The label pictures a stork flying in the royal child. It’s currently being sold at the Duchess of Cambridge Pub opposite Windsor Castle. (At 3.8%, it’s almost suitable for a baby!)

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Bokwa’ – A new form of group exercise based on a South African dance. Akin to ‘Zumba’.
• ‘Cronut’ – A croissant-doughnut hybrid developed at NYC’s Dominique Ansel Bakery that has quickly gained widespread popularity. It is made by frying a type of laminated dough.
• ‘Nano Coating’ – A coating applied to an electronic device such as a cellphone to make it waterproof.

Looks like a little morning coffee could do a latte for your health! A 16-year Harvard study of more than 200,000 subjects reveals that coffee may lower risk of suicide by as much as 50%. It seems 2-to-3 cups of caffeinated coffee per day helps to do so by relieving depression. But the results also suggest there is little further benefit by consuming more than 3 cups or 400 mg of caffeine per day. (Keep calm and get your caffeine on!)

We use smartphones for so many things – talking, texting, tweeting, gaming – and so frequently that it is wreaking havoc on our thumbs. Highlights of a new UK survey …
• More than 50% of respondents say they have experienced ‘thumb fatigue’.
• More than 40% say they have had to take ‘thumb breaks’.
• 66% say they wish their thumbs were faster.
A hand therapist confirms that thumb injuries are on the increase due to demands put on them during smartphone use. (Wait a sec … a hand therapist?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

Older dads are more likely to have daughters.
– “New Scientist”


1962 [51] Wesley Snipes, Orlando FL, once incarcerated tax evader/movie actor (“Blade” films, “US Marshals”)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1998)  COMING UP: “The Expendables 3” (2014).

1965 [48] JK (Joanne) Rowling, Yate UK, mega-selling author (“The Cuckoo’s Calling”, “Harry Potter” books)

1978 [35] Zac Brown, Cumming GA, country singer (Zac Brown Band-“Knee Deep”, “Chicken Fried”)

1978 [35] Will Champion, Southampton UK, rock drummer (Coldplay-“Paradise”, “Viva La Vida”)

1979 [34] BJ Novak, Newton MA, TV actor (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actor (“Inglourious Basterds”)

1998 [15] Rico Rodriguez, College Station TX, TV actor (‘Manny Delgado’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

• “Invite the Neighbors Over Day”, an initiative to encourage us to get to know those who live nearby. (And ask them to bring along their frickin’ dog that never quits yap-yap-yapping and that sputtering lawnmower they insist on using at 6 am on a Saturday and …)

• “Make Homemade Ice Cream Day”, because you’re looking way too skinny of late. As well as a good recipe, you’ll need some ice, some salt to melt the ice, and whole lot of elbow grease (or an electric ice cream maker).

• “Mutts Day”, honoring all dogs of mixed breeds. Purebred owners often view them as lesser in many ways but mutt owners know better!

• “Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day”, an annual celebration of strange musical instruments such as the bubble organ, laser harp, clackamore, fluba, dulcimer, or double violin. Check these out …
And how about the ever-tasteful Viennese Vegetable Orchestra …

1995 [18] Walt Disney Co acquires ABC-TV in a $19-billion deal

2012 [01] Gore Vidal, novelist (“Myra Breckinridge”, “Lincoln”) and screenwriter (“Ben-Hur”), dies of pneumonia at age 86 in Hollywood Hills, California

2006 [07] Cuban president Fidel Castro hands over power to his younger brother Raúl Castro

2012 [01] US swimmer Michael Phelps breaks the record for ‘Greatest Number of Medals Won at the Olympics’ by increasing his total to 22

[Aug 1] “2 Guns” opens in movie theaters / 2013 Honda Civic Tour begins (St Louis) / Girlfriends Day / Respect for Parents Day / Rounds Resounding Day / Spider-Man Day / World Wide Web Day
[Aug 2] “Sharknado” opens in select movie theaters / International Beer Day / Lollapalooza begins (Chicago) / Watershed Music Festival begins (Gorge WA)
[Aug 3] “Hell on Wheels” debuts (AMC) / International Tree Climbing Days / Mustard Day / Watermelon Day
[Aug 4] OVO Fest (Toronto) / “The Bachelorette” finalé (ABC) / Chocolate Chip Day / Friendship Day / Doll Day / Sisters Day
[Aug 5] Civic Holiday (Canada) / Assistance Dog Day / Oyster Day / Underwear Day
[Aug 6] Fresh Breath Day / Root Beer Float Day / National Night Out
[Aug 7] “Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters”; “We’re the Millers” open in movie theaters / Lighthouse Day / Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day / Professional Speakers Day
[Aug 8] Eid-Al Fitr (Muslim) / Date to Create / Happiness Happens Day / Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night
[Aug 9] “Disney’s Planes”; “Elysium”; “Through The Never” open in movie theaters / Outside Lands Festival begins (San Francisco) / Kool-Aid Day / International Day Of the World’s Indigenous People / Worldwide Art Day
[Aug 10] Garage Sale Day / Skyscraper Appreciation Day / Smithsonian Day / S’mores Day
[Aug 11] “2013 Teen Choice Awards” (FOX) / “Breaking Bad” final season begins (AMC) / “Low Winter Sun” debuts (AMC)
[Aug 12] “CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night to Rock” (ABC) / International Youth Day / Vinyl Record Day
[Aug 13] “Eric Clapton’s Crossroads Guitar Festival 2013” plays in movie theaters / International Lefthanders Day
[Aug 15] SuperEX beings (Ottawa) / “The Pitch” debuts (AMC) / “Owner’s Manual” debuts (AMC) / Best Friends Day / Relaxation Day
[Aug 16] “JOBS”; “Kick-Ass 2”; “Lee Daniels’ The Butler”; “Paranoia” open in movie theaters / CNE begins (Toronto) / Hug Your Boss Day / Men’s Grooming Day
[Aug 17] V Festival begins (Chelmsford UK) / International Geocaching Day / International Homeless Animals Day / Thrift Shop Day
[Aug 18] Bad Poetry Day / Serendipity Day / World Daffodil Day
[Aug 19] Aviation Day / World Humanitarian Day / Cupcake Day
[Aug 20] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon / World Mosquito Day
[Aug 21] “The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones” opens in movie theaters / Medical Dosimetrist Day / Poets Day / Senior Citizens Day
[Aug 22] Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day / Be an Angel Day
[Aug 23] “The World’s End”; “You’re Next” open in movie theaters / Reading & Leeds Festivals begin (UK) / Day For The Remembrance of The Slave Trade & Its Abolition
[Aug 24] Waffle Day / International Bat Night
[Aug 25] “2013 MTV Video Music Awards” (Brooklyn NY) / Go Topless Day / Kiss & Make Up Day / Secondhand Wardrobe Day
[Aug 26] Dog Day / Women’s Equality Day
[Aug 27] Slow Art Day
[Aug 28] “Closed Circuit” opens in movie theaters / Venice Film Festival begins (Italy) / Radio Commercials Day / Crackers Over the Keyboard Day
[Aug 29] According to Hoyle Day / Individual Rights Day / International Day Against Nuclear Tests / More Herbs, Less Salt Day / Whiskey Sour Day
[Aug 30] “Getaway”; “One Direction: This Is Us” open in movie theaters / Deauville Film Festival begins (France) / Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Aug 31] Bumbershoot Festival begins (Seattle) / Made In America Festival begins (Philadelphia) / Franchise Appreciation Day / Love Litigating Lawyers Day


• Your laundry is a landmine of loose glitter, melted Chapsticks, and crushed seashells.
• You know every word to every Taylor Swift song ever written.
• You know all of the names, storylines, and princes for every one of the Disney princesses.
• You’ve witnessed an epic meltdown unfold over … hair.
• You’ve watched your child bat her eyelashes to get what she wants … from her dad.
• You’ve scraped stickers off of every conceivable surface.
• You could go pro with your ‘Miss Mary Mack’ moves.
• You’ve bribed your child to wear something impossibly cute.
• You fantasize about your daughter kicking ass at something decidedly un-girly … playing pool, fixing cars, surfing, playing drums.
• You’ve been the Bad Witch, the Prince, the Baby, a fellow Princess/Mermaid, and, yes, the dog more times than you can count.
• You’ve searched online for ‘Creative Stuffed-Animal Storage’ more than once.
– Adapted from

☎ Should you even take a camera on vacation? Often the quest to photograph has become a substitute for the experience itself. And besides, nobody wants to look at 800 pics of your trip.

Do I mind if you smoke? I don’t care if you burst into flames and die!

During a jungle adventure, you fall into the Amazon where you are immediately surrounded by some 500 piranhas. About how long will it take them to devour you?
a. 5 seconds.
b. 5 minutes. [CORRECT, that is if they bother. Instances of piranhas biting humans are extremely rare. In general, if you leave them alone, they’ll do the same for you.]
c. 5 days.
– “Popular Science”

Question: Doing THIS increases your anxiety.
Answer: Constantly checking your smartphone and immediately responding to messages.

Say nothing and they think you are stupid. Talk and they know for sure.

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