Friday, July 31, 2015        Edition: #5507

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

There will be no “BS” edition for Monday as we’re celebrating the local holiday. Next edition is for Tuesday, August 4th. All accounts will be credited for the missed service day.

★ Ben Affleck’s lawyers are threatening legal action over an “Us Weekly” magazine report suggesting the 42-year-old has struck up a romance with his children’s nanny following the breakdown of his marriage to Jennifer Garner. The story alleges that Affleck has started dating 28-year-old Christine Ouzounian, who was briefly hired to help care for the estranged couple’s 3 children during a trial separation. A statement issued by Affleck’s rep reads: “The story is complete garbage and full of lies … we are considering legal options.”
– “NY Daily News”
★ Radiohead has overtaken Ellie Goulding as the most likely act to have recorded the new ‘James Bond’ theme for the upcoming movie “Spectre” (October 26th). That’s because some punter tried to lay a £15,000-bet on the band at 10:1 odds, leading bookmaking firm William Hill to suspend all betting on the topic. A William Hill spokesperson says, ”There seem to be all kinds of rumors and the plot has had more twists and turns than a classic ‘Bond’ tale, but surely nobody risks £15,000 on a hunch.” Brits will seemingly bet on just about anything.
– Bang Showbiz
★ Actor David Faustino is developing a “Married… With Children” spin-off featuring fellow original cast-members Christina Applegate, Ed O’Neill, and Katey Sagal. The 1987-97 FOX-TV sitcom featured O’Neill as the patriarch of a dysfunctional family in a fictional Chicago suburb. Sagal played his wife ‘Peggy’; Applegate and Faustino starred as their kids ‘Kelly’ and ‘Bud’. The revival is a pilot for a spin-off series, with the original cast appearing in some capacity, perhaps only cameos. More details are coming once legal hurdles are cleared.
– E! Online

• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC) – Sunday the 2-hour spinoff series season premiere, with contestants who are disappointed hopefuls from previous “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” cycles.
• “Cold Justice: Sex Crimes” (TNT) – Tonight the debut of an unscripted spinoff of the real-life crime series “Cold Justice”. Former Texas prosecutors Alicia O’Neill & Casey Garrett help local law enforcement bring justice to victims of sexual assault. “Cold Justice” also returns tonight.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Madonna (“Rebel Heart”).
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Today Hozier (“Hozier”) performs live.
• Hard Summer Festival (Pomona CA) – Saturday-Sunday this relocated event features Chemical Bros, Chromeo, Diplo, Schoolboy Q, Skrillex, The Weekend and many others.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Joss Stone (“Water for Your Soul”, out today).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Gorgon City (“Sirens”); Jonny Two Bags (“Hope Dies Hard”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Anderson East (“Deliliah”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Elle King (“Love Stuff”).
• Lollapalooza (Chicago IL) – The massive 3-day line-up for the 10th edition in Grant Park includes Paul McCartney, The Weeknd, and Alabama Shakes tonight; Metallica, along with Sam Smith, Tame Impala, and Walk the Moon on Saturday; and Florence + The Machine, Of Monsters & Men, and A$AP Rocky on Sunday. This year’s festival sold out in just 45 minutes.
• Osheaga Music Festival (Montréal QC) – The 3-day event at Parc Jean-Drapeau features Alt-J, Avett Bros, Black Keys, Florence + The Machine, Kendrick Lamar, St Vincent, Weezer and lots more. This year, fans and artists are banned from wearing faux First Nations headdresses as ‘fashion accessories’.
• OVO Fest (Toronto ON) – Drake’s 6th annual hometown fest runs Saturday-through-Monday. Day 1: Comedian Kevin Hart at Air Canada Centre; Day 2: J Cole, Big Sean, Jeremih, and others at Molson Canadian Amphitheater; Day 3: Drake himself at the amphithteater, with special mystery guests.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Josh Groban (“Stages”). Rerun.
• Telluride Jazz Festival (Telluride CO) – The annual 3-day celebration has welcomed jazz, soul, and brass bands for nearly 40 years. 2015 headliners: Ernie Watts, The M&Ms, Maceo Parker, Bill Frisell Trio, Joey DeFrancesco.
• “Today” (NBC): This morning Jason Aldean (“Old Boots, New Dirt”) performs.
• “Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp” (Netflix) – David Wain’s 2001 cult comedy film gets a series spin in 8 half-hour episodes released today. Returning stars from the original schlock comedy include Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, David Hyde Pierce, and Paul Rudd.

• Finger Eleven – Today they release their 1st album in 5 years, entitled “Five Crooked Lines”. For the new material, the band says it’s returned to an aggressive ‘punch in the face’ sound.
• Garth Brooks – He’s this year’s  biggest country draw, according to “Forbes”. He’s pulled in $90 million on his world tour, which started last September.
• Led Zeppelin – Today their re-issue campaign comes to a close with the re-release of 1976’s “Presence”, 1979’s “In Through the Out Door”, and 1982’s “Coda”. As with the previous reissues, Jimmy Page personally remastered each record, as well as the companion material.
• Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – They’re about ¾ finished the followup album to 2013’s “The Heist”. Macklemore tells “Complex” magazine that he relapsed into drug use following the massive success of that album as he struggled with fame and an overwhelming schedule.
• Meghan Trainor – She’s recorded a new tune for the upcoming “Peanuts” film entitled “Better When I’m Dancin'”.  She tells “People” the song is about having fun and forgetting about everything else. “The Peanuts Movie” is out November 6th.
• Neil Young – As he previously announced, he’s now removed nearly all of his music from major streaming music services due to what he terms ‘bad sound quality’. “Rolling Stone” reports that only 7 of his albums are still streaming, most of them from the 1980s.

• “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): ‘Ethan’ and team take on their most impossible mission yet, eradicating the ‘Syndicate’, an international rogue organization committed to destroying the ‘IMF’. Stars Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg. Cruise has already confirmed there will be a “Mission Impossible 6”.
• Opening in limited release: “Best of Enemies” (Documentary); “The End Of the Tour” (Drama); “A LEGO Brickumentary” (Documentary); and “That Sugar Film” (Documentary).

Not everyone’s munching on popcorn and Glosettes while watching movies. Witness …
✓ Dried Sardines – Theater patrons in Japan crunch on small fish, baked in soy sauce & sugar.
✓ Roasted Ants – Eaten like peanuts in Colombia, this snack is considered an aphrodisiac.
✓ Dried Reindeer Meat – A fitting snack at a drive-in theater for snowmobiles in Norway.
✓ Souvlaki – Traditional lamb or beef souvlaki is popular at some of Greece’s outdoor cinemas.
✓ Dried Cuttlefish – This meaty, savory fish stands in for popcorn at Korean concessions.
✓ Salty Licorice – A popular confection at cinemas across The Netherlands.
✓ Dried Salted Plums – In China, these are served dehydrated and heavily pickled.
✓ Bajan Fish Cakes – A common street food in Barbados also found at open-air theaters.
– Condensed from “Mental Floss”

The London Olympics tower is being turned into the ‘World’s Tallest Slide’. The metal structure, designed by Turner-prize winning artist Anish Kapoor, now known as the ArcelorMittal Orbit Tower, sits in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. At 114 meters (374 ft) it’s the UK’s tallest sculpture. The slide will start at the 80-m (263-ft) point and spiral around the tower 5 times before a final 50-m (164-ft) drop to the ground. The descent will take about 40 seconds, during which sliders will be traveling at 6 meters-a-second. The attraction opens next Spring. Oh, and there’ll be transparent sections on the slide, so you can marvel at the view. (Gulp.)
– “Metro”

90% of all volcanoes on Earth are underwater.


1962 [53] Wesley Snipes, Orlando FL, once incarcerated tax evader/movie actor (“The Expendables 3”, “Blade” films)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1998)

1965 [50] JK (Joanne) Rowling, Yate UK, mega-selling author (“Cormoran Strike” novels, “Harry Potter” books)

1978 [37] Zac Brown, Cumming GA, country singer (Zac Brown Band-“Knee Deep”, “Chicken Fried”)

1978 [37] Will Champion, Southampton UK, rock drummer (Coldplay-“Paradise”, “Viva La Vida”)

1979 [36] BJ (Benjamin Joseph) Novak, Newton MA, TV actor (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actor (“Inglourious Basterds”)/author (“One More Thing: Stories & Other Stories”)

1998 [17] Rico Rodriguez, College Station TX, TV actor (‘Manny Delgado’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

Alt-rock singer-songwriter Adam Duritz (Counting Crows) is 51; Filmmaker Sam Mendes (“Skyfall”) is 50.

Movie/TV actress Mary-Louise Parker (“Weeds”) is 51; Filmmaker Kevin Smith (“Clerks”) is 45; Movie actor Sam Worthington (“Avatar”) is 39; Pop singer Charli XCX (“Boom Clap”) is 23.

• “Blue Moon”, the origin of the saying ‘once in a blue moon’, meaning not very often. It refers to a 2nd Full Moon within a single month, which occurs only once in 2.4 years on average.
• “Canada’s National Ukrainian Festival”, the 50th annual in Dauphin, Manitoba through Sunday, as thousands gather for traditional singing, dancing, egg-decorating, and perogies.
• “Maine Lobster Festival”, the 67th annual through Sunday in Rockland, Maine. (BYOB: Bring Your Own Butter)
• “Mutts Day”, honoring all dogs of mixed breeds. Purebred owners often view them as lesser in many ways but mutt owners know better!
• “System Administrator Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the last Friday of July to  show appreciation for that special person in the office who maintains the computer network.
• “Talk In an Elevator Day”, an annual observance on the last Friday of July. After all, why is it we normally don’t speak? This is a day to try it out and see what happens.
• “Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day”, an annual celebration of strange musical instruments such as the bubble organ, fluba, and dulcimer. Check other oddities here …
• “World Championship Bunnock Tournament” in Macklin, Saskatchewan throughout the weekend. The game involves throwing horse ankle bones at a target, similar to horseshoes.

• “Chocolate Fest”, the 28th annual in the resort town of St Stephen, New Brunswick through August 8th. St Stephen is allegedly where the ‘chocolate bar’ was invented.
• “Mustard Day”, the 25th annual honoring the ‘condiment of kings’. It’s sponsored by Middleton, Wisconsin’s Mustard Museum, home of the world’s largest collection of mustard memorabilia.
• “Spider-Man Day”, celebrating the superhero’s first appearance in the comic book “Amazing Fantasy #15” in 1962. He got his own comic book series in 1963.
• “World Lung Cancer Day”, the 4th annual to celebrate, commemorate & support those who’ve been affected by lung cancer.

• “Ice Cream Sandwich Day”, celebrating the chilly goodness of stuffing ice cream between a couple of wafers. Stone cold brilliant!
• “Sisters Day”, observed annually on the 1st Sunday in August to celebrate being or having a sister.

1995 [20] Walt Disney Co acquires ABC-TV in a $19-billion deal

2014 [01] US president Barack Obama authorizes 1st air strikes against Islamic State

2012 [03] US swimmer Michael Phelps breaks the record for ‘Greatest Number of Medals Won at the Olympics’ by increasing his total to 22

[Aug 3] Civic Holiday (Canada) / “Significant Mother” premieres (CW) / Assistance Dog Day / Psychic Day / Watermelon Day
[Aug 4] Chocolate Chip Day / Single Working Women’s Day / National Night Out
[Aug 5] “A Wicked Offer” debut (CW) / “Mr Robinson” premiere (NBC) / Underwear Day
[Aug 6] “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” series finalé / Fresh Breath Day / Root Beer Float Day
[Aug 7] “The Fantastic Four”; “Masterminds” open in movie theaters / Squamish Valley Music Festival begins (Squamish BC) / Outside Lands Festival opens (San Francisco CA) / Homemade Pie Day / International Beer Day / Kool-Aid Day / Lighthouse Day / Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day / Professional Speakers Day
[Aug 8] Pro Football Hall of Fame Indiction (Canton OH) / International Hangover Day / International Cat Day / Date to Create / Happiness Happens Day / Middle Child Day / Bowling Day / Garage Sale Day / Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night
[Aug 9] International Day of Indigenous People
[Aug 10] Skyscraper Appreciation Day / Smithsonian Day / S’mores Day
[Aug 11] Play In the Sand Day
[Aug 12] IBM PC Day / International Youth Day / Vinyl Record Day / World Elephant Day
[Aug 13] International Lefthanders Day
[Aug 14] “The Man From UNCLE”; “Straight Outta Compton” open in movie theaters / Shop Online For Groceries Day / Worldwide Art Day
[Aug 15] Best Friends Day / International Geocaching Day / International Homeless Animals Day / Relaxation Day / World Honey Bee Day
[Aug 16] “2015 Teen Choice Awards” (FOX) / “Ed Sheeran – Live at Wembley Stadium” (NBC) / “Show Me a Hero” debuts (HBO) / Roller Coaster Day
[Aug 17] “Public Morals” debuts (TNT) / Black Cat Appreciation Day / Thrift Shop Day
[Aug 18] Bad Poetry Day / Birth Control Pills Day / Serendipity Day
[Aug 19] Aviation Day / World Humanitarian Day
[Aug 20] Ecological Debt Day / Radio Day
[Aug 21] “American Ultra”; “Hitman: Agent 47”; “She’s Funny That Way” open in movie theaters / Canadian National Exhibition begins (Toronto ON) / Texas Thunder opens (Gardendale TX) / Musicfest NW begins (Portland OR) / Men’s Grooming Day / Spumoni Day / Poets Day / Senior Citizens Day / Hug Your Boss Day
[Aug 22] V Festival opens (Chelmsford UK) / Billboard Hot 100 Music Festival opens (Jones Beach NY) / Be an Angel Day / International Tongue Twister Day / Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day / Take Your Cat To the Vet Day
[Aug 23] Day For the Remembrance Of the Slave Trade & Its Abolition / Go Topless Day
[Aug 24] Knife Day / Pluto Demoted Day / Waffle Iron Day
[Aug 25] Kiss & Make Up Day / Secondhand Wardrobe Day / Whiskey Sour Day
[Aug 26] Women’s Equality Day / Dog Day / Toilet Paper Day / Tug-of-War Day
[Aug 27] Banana Lovers Day / Global Forgiveness Day / Motorists Consideration Day
[Aug 28] “Regression”; “War Room”; “We Are Your Friends” open in movie theaters / BMI R&B-Hip Hop Awards (Los Angeles CA) / Riot Fest opens (Denver CO) / Reading & Leeds Festivals open (UK) / Radio Commercials Day / Crackers Over the Keyboard Day
[Aug 29] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon / According to Hoyle Day / Franchise Appreciation Day / Individual Rights Day / International Bat Night / More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Aug 30] “MTV Video Music Awards 2015” (MTV) / International Whale Shark Day / Grief Awareness Day / Holistic Pet Day / Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Aug 31] International Overdose Awareness Day / Love Litigating Lawyers Day


Do you ever feel like a small fish in an old pond? Well, my friend, take solace in the fact that you are not alone. Here are the very real struggles of being the youngest person in the office …
✓ You get waaaay too excited about payday. (“Give me my money so I can buy wine!”)
✓ You instantly become the go-to ‘tech lord’ no matter how technologically inept you are.
✓ You communicate with people face-to-face as opposed to emailing the person sitting next to you.
✓ You don’t know what to say when people complain about being up all night with their kids. (Sucks to be you?)
✓ No one can tell if you’re joking or not because your cultural references aren’t from back in the day.
✓ You get old fogy ‘slang’ thrown at you from every direction. (“Yeah, that is ‘really rad’ … I guess.”)
✓ Similarly, it’s difficult to join in with their conversations … unless you want to chat about work.
✓ You get judged on your lunch choices. (“Yes, I brought in a half-eaten bag of peanuts, a croissant, and some chewing gum for lunch. Why?”)
✓ Until some fresh-faced intern shows up, whenever it’s time to go get coffee …you’re it.
✓ Retirement plan? LOL.
– Thanks to Lizzi Hart

☎ Bringing your kids to work during school holidays … good idea or bad?

Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.

Google has unveiled an incredible Translate app that allows you to hold your smartphone over a portion of text in any of 27 languages and it will immediately be translated onscreen. The best thing is it is completely free at the Google Play Store.

Question: THIS lasts 3 hours and 49 minutes for the average family.
Answer: Road trip.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

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