Thursday, July 5, 2012        Edition: #4780

Another Sheetload of Bull!

The CEO of Netflix reports that monthly viewing of movies & TV shows on the site reached a record 1 billion-plus hours in June (and you wonder why your high-speed Internet is slowing down?) . . . “Jersey Shore” star Deena Cortese won’t face criminal charges after her disorderly conduct arrest for dancing like a fool in the streets of Seaside Heights NJ last month, but she has been slapped with a $139-fine for ‘failing to use the sidewalk’ (actually she did later – with her face) . . . A bunch of scenes were cut from “The Amazing Spider-Man”, including some of the first promo clips that were released (meaning the sequel’s already half in the can) . . . Actress Mila Kunis tells UK “Elle” magazine she is NOT dating Ashton Kutcher despite rampant rumors, saying: “We’ve known each other for 15 years. We have mutual friends. We’re comfortable with one another. That’s it! There’s no crazy love story, nothing more” (BS translation: They’re boinking) . . . We’re (sorta) sure it wasn’t just a cheap publicity ploy, but reality TV star Kim Kardashian & her rapper-boyfriend Kanye West have made a (well-photographed) visit to Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles (geez, haven’t sick kids been through enough?) . . . And Tom Cruise tops “Forbes” magazine’s annual list of ‘Highest Paid Actors’, raking in $75 million in the past year, almost twice that of runners-up Leonardo DiCaprio and Adam Sandler (too bad Tom will be divvying up all that loot between Katie Holmes and a gaggle of lawyers).


• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Mona (“Mona”). Rerun.
• “Duets” (ABC/Global) – The stars and their duet partners perform standards.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Alanis Morissette (“Havoc & Bright Lights”); Katy Perry (“Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Katy Perry (“Katy Perry: Part Of Me”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jessie Baylin (“Little Spark”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Japandroids (“No Singles”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Jerry Douglas (“Traveler”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Kool & The Gang (“Icon”). Rerun.


• Adele – Her songwriting partner Dan Wilson says the 4-months-pregnant superstar singer is currently ‘in a good place’ and confirms they are working on new material together. However, she may not tour the world again for some years, he says, because … she doesn’t need to.
• Bon Jovi – Jon Bon Jovi has signed on to partner with Avon for a new line of fragrances for both men and women. ‘Unplugged For Her’ will be released in October, followed by ‘Unplugged For Him’ in November. Bon Jovi will appear in ads for the products as well.
• Christina Aguilera – She’s reportedly hard at work on the follow-up to 2010’s “Bionic” album. Duets with Blake Shelton and Cee Lo Green, her fellow coaches on “The Voice”, are apparently going to be included.
• Def Leppard – The classic rockers are recording new versions of their old songs in an attempt to take back control of their own music from their record label. So far, the re-recording of “Pour Some Sugar on Me”, for instance, has sold 21,000 downloads.
• KISS – They’re set to break a record by releasing the book “KISS Monster”. It will be the same size as a guitar, making it the largest music book ever published, and feature previously unseen photos from the group’s 40-year career. Only 1,000 copies will be made …at $4,299 each.
• One Direction – Fans of the Brit boy-band will soon have a whole new trove of merch to get their hands on. Products coming in September include speakers, microphones, earbuds, walkie-talkies, alarm clocks, boomboxes, karaoke machines, and a number of other items.
• Rolling Stones – To commemorate their 50th anniversary, they’ve commissioned illustrator Shepard Fairey to update their classic ‘Tongue and Lips’ logo, originally created by designer John Pasche in 1971. The new logo incorporates ‘50 Years’ into the design.
• Willie Nelson – He tells “Mojo” magazine he may rent or buy a home in Amsterdam when Dutch officials outlaw ‘drug tourism’ next year. The new legislation will ban the sale of marijuana to non-residents in a bid to crack down on smuggling from the country.

“Katy Perry: Part Of Me” ( PG-Rated 3-D Music Documentary ): Follows the life of the pop star both on-stage and off for a year-and-a-half during her “California Dreams Tour”. Promises to reveal the highs and lows, nuts and bolts of her ‘extraordinary ride’. Already nominated for a ‘Teen Choice Award’ (July 22nd) … before it even screens.


A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “All Is By My Side” – Although the Jimi Hendrix estate still isn’t allowing use of his music, Andre 3000 will play the guitar legend by performing covers of The Beatles, Muddy Waters, etc. The film focuses on Hendrix as a young artist in London in 1966-67. It’s now shooting in Ireland.
• “Caught in Flight” – Actress Naomi Watts is said to have undergone a ‘dramatic makeover’ to play Diana, Princess of Wales in this story of the 2 years leading up to Lady Di’s 1997 death in a car crash in Paris. The movie is due for release next year.
• “Motel” – John Cusack stars in this indie crime thriller as a hitman hired by an infamous crime boss (Robert De Niro), who hides out at a seedy motel in the Delta bayous after killing several men and making off with a mystery bag. Rebecca Da Costa co-stars. The film’s out in 2013.
• “Raging Bull II” – This now-shooting sequel to the Oscar-winning 1980 film has been thrown into jeopardy after MGM filed a lawsuit to stop production. The studio alleges that now 91-year-old boxer Jake LaMotta should have offered MGM the rights to his 1986 sequel book first.
• Untitled Marvel Comics Superhero Pic – The 2014 project’s identity will officially be unveiled at “Comic-Con” (July 12-15) but many believe it will be “Guardians Of the Galaxy”, about a band of space-traveling heroes from the 31st century who were introduced in Marvel Comics in 1969.


‘Roominate’ is a new dollhouse that promises to give young girls with a genuine curiosity about technology a playground in which to tinker and learn. It’s the brainchild of some Stanford University graduate students who’d like to see more women in upper level math and science classes. With that goal in mind, ‘Roominate’ isn’t about dinner placements and furniture layouts, but rather building your own furniture and wiring up the house so that it has working lights, fans, etc. It may not be the prettiest dollhouse out there, but it’s less about decorating a space and more about engineering it from the ground-up. (Hard hat not included.)


A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 70% of men think that someday they’ll be a millionaire.
• 40% of us can not touch our toes.
• 30% of us admit to running a red light when we think no one is looking.
• 25% of us admit we have ‘dined and dashed’ at a restaurant at least once.
• 20% of men could never leave for vacation without packing a hair dryer.
• 2% of women have accidentally dropped their makeup in the toilet.


If you’re walking in Chicago’s Logan Square neighborhood, you might happen upon an enormous stack of “Monopoly” ‘Chance’ cards made from plywood and bolted to the sidewalk. Seems a mysterious street artist who goes by the name ‘Bored’ made giant “Monopoly” spaces, cards, markers, and dice and left them on sidewalks. Since their appearance, messages on the ‘Chance’ and ‘Community Chest’ cards have occasionally being painted over and replaced with other humorous and obscure messages.(By the way, Chicago cops do not regard an oversize ‘Get Out of Jail’ card as being legally valid.)


Easy ways to make your teeth shine …
✓ At-Home Trays – The most effective way to whiten your teeth at home is to use bleaching trays from your dentist. Though they’re pricey, you can use them forever. You can buy them much cheaper online.
✓ Bleaching Strips – Bleaching strips are more reasonably priced and still effective. A couple disadvantages: They only whiten your front teeth and you need to wear them 2 hours daily for a week to see the best results.
✓ In-Office Bleaching – Instead of using trays, the dentist applies the bleach directly to your teeth. It’s convenient for people on-the-go who don’t want to bother with trays or strips at home, but the office visit can cost as much as one at-home bleaching tray.
✓ Toothpaste – Look for toothpastes with stain-scrubbing silica. Some promise to remove 90% of surface stains within 5 days.
✓ Chewing Gum – Choose a gum with recaldent, an ingredient that makes it more difficult for stains to bind to your teeth. Chew after every meal and it should take about 1 month to see some results.
– Condensed from “Men’s Health”


People using Macs spend 30% more on hotel reservations through Orbitz than people on PCs.
– “Wall Street Journal”


1943 [69] Robbie Robertson, Toronto ON, classic rock musician (“How to Become Clairvoyant”, The Band-“Music From Big Pink”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1994)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2003)/Order of Canada (2007)

1950 [62] Huey Lewis (Hugh Anthony Cregg III), NYC, oldies singer (& the News -“I  Want a New Drug”, “The Power of Love”)/sometime movie actor (“Duets”, “Back To the Future”)

1959 [53] Marc Cohn, Cleveland OH, pop singer (“Walking In Memphis”)/wed to TV anchor Elizabeth Vargas (2002)

1963 [49] Edie Falco, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (“Nurse Jackie” since 2009, “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)/winner of 4 Emmys, 2 Golden Globes, and 5 SAG Awards

1980 [32] Jason Wade, Camarillo CA, rock singer/guitarist (Lifehouse-“You & Me”, “Hanging by a Moment”)

1982 [30] Dave Haywood, Augusta GA, country musician (Lady Antebellum-“Just a Kiss”, “Need You Now”)

1986 [26] Adam Young, Owatonna MN, pop-electronica musician (Owl City-“Fireflies”)


• “Bikini Day”, celebrating the 1946 unveiling of the landmark swimsuit by designer Louis Reard at a Paris press conference, which he described as ‘4 triangles of nothing’. The bikini is named after a tiny Pacific atoll where early atomic bomb tests were performed.

• “Graham Cracker Day”, saluting the wafer developed in 1829 in Bound Brook, New Jersey by Presbyterian minister Sylvester Graham. He believed that consumption of graham flour helped to suppress what he considered unhealthy ‘carnal urges’. Yeah, right. So what’s the best use for graham crackers? Pie crust? S’mores? Moon pies?

• “Running Of the Nudes” in Pamplona, Spain, the 8th annual protest of bullfighting organized by PETA ahead of the famous annual “Running Of the Bulls”. Upwards of a thousand animal activists are expected to run totally starkers. The motto: ‘Out With the Old, In With the Nude!’

• “Workaholics Day”, a day to remove your nose from the grindstone … just once.
– You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their process.
– You get all excited when it’s Saturday so you can wear sweat pants to work.
– You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
– You think that ‘progressing an action plan’ and ‘calendarizing a project’ are acceptable English phrases.
– You know the people at the airport hotels better than your next door neighbors.
– You think a ‘half-day’ means leaving at 5 o’clock.


2000 [12] “Big Brother” premieres (CBS) but fails to generate the buzz it experiences in other versions worldwide (Season 14 premieres July 12th on CBS-TV)


1607 [405] Britain’s national anthem “God Save the King” (Queen) is first sung in public


1937 [75] ‘Spam’, the luncheon meat, is introduced by Hormel Foods Corp


1937 [75] ‘Highest Maximum Air Temperature’ in Canada is set at Yellow Grass, Saskatchewan … 45 C/113 F (no wonder the flippin’ grass is yellow!)


[Fri] “Savages” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] International Kissing Day
[Fri] Fried Chicken Day
[Sat] Macaroni Day
[Sun] Videogames Day
[Mon] International Town Criers Day
This Week Is … Unassisted Homebirth Week
This Month Is … Cellphone Courtesy Month


• Has suffered over 2 dozen concussions from toilet seat falling on his head.
• Requests her IQ test be reformatted so she can smell the questions and then eat them.
• Lengthy pause after ‘bow’ while he tries to remember ‘wow’.
• Countless bruises on nose from confrontations with the evil dog guarding the other side of the  mirror.
• Thinks that flea and tick baths give you fleas and ticks.
• When you give him Alpo, he only eats the ‘meat byproducts’.
• Even after repeatedly watching the ‘Barking Phonics’ video, still pronounces ‘woof’ as ‘oops’.
• Buries tail, wags bones.


☎ What’s the best all-time movie franchise? (“Star Wars”? “Star Trek”? “Indiana Jones”? “Spider-Man”? “Mission: Impossible”? “Porky’s”?)


Which were bathing caps invented to prevent?
a. Swimmer’s drag.
b. Baldness.
c. Clogged drains. [CORRECT]


How many Legos would it take to build your house? This handy little online calculator tells you in seconds. Quick tip in case you actually wanna build your house from Legos … it ain’t cheap!


All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.


Question: 2-out-of-10 couples have important conversations using THIS.
Answer: Post-It notes.


Never argue with a fool. He may be doing the same thing.

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