Friday, July 5, 2013        Edition: #5018

Another Sheetload of Bull!

✳ 36-year-old “Django Unchained” actress Kerry Washington is having a great week. Her new “Vanity Fair” cover debuted and it’s been revealed that she has secretly married NHL football player Nnamdi Asomugha (San Francisco 49ers) last month. (Looks like she learned something about keeping secrets from her “Scandal” character.)
– “Scandal Sheet”
✳ Pregnant newly-engaged actress Jennifer Love Hewitt has become the latest celeb to quit Twitter after growing tired of ‘negativity’ directed towards her. “The Client List” star boasted over 600,000 followers and had regularly updated fans with tweets. But this week she’s announced she’s taking time out. (First Alec Baldwin, now Love. Twitter’s getting better all the time!)
✳ The tragic death of Cirque Du Soleil acrobat Sarah Guillot-Guyard has now officially been ruled an accident. The 31-year-old died from multiple blunt force trauma after falling about 90 feet (27.4 meters) during a “Ka” performance in Las Vegas last weekend. Clark County Coroner’s Office has ruled out foul play, but the Nevada Occupational Safety & Health Administration will continue to investigate the accident. (“Ka” has now been cancelled.)
✳ And on UK breakfast TV show “Daybreak”, 67-year-old actress Helen Mirren has announced that the BBC’s new “Doctor Who” should be black, female, and gay. She also says troubled starlets would be a lot less troubled if they weren’t always – quote – “up their own bum”. (In short, Helen Mirren is awesome!)
– Mail Online

• British Summer Time (London) – Tonight this 2-weekend new festival in Hyde Park opens up with Bon Jovi. The Rolling Stones headline Saturday (and again July 13th), their first performance in the park since 1969. To re-create the setting from that concert, a forest of 70-foot fake trees is being erected. Brit boy-band JLS and the Beach Boys are on Sunday.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Miley Cyrus (“We Can’t Stop”) Rerun.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Imagine Dragons (“Night Visions”) perform.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Pharrell Williams (“Blurred Lines”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Delta Rae (“Carry the Fire”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight The-Dream f/Gary Clark Jr, David Sanborn & Bob James (“IV Play”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight John Fogerty w/Dawes (“Wrote a Song For Everyone”). Rerun.
• Oklahoma Twister Relief Concert (Norman OK) – Saturday this Toby Keith-organized benefit show at University of Oklahoma stadium also features performances by Garth Brooks, Ronnie Dunn, Trisha Yearwood, and  Willie Nelson, as well as Carrie Underwood via satellite from the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. The concert is SRO.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Today John Mayer (“Born & Raised”) performs.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Trace Adkins w/Colbie Caillat (“Love Will …”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today guest co-host Harry Connick Jr (“Every Man Should Know”). Rerun.

• 50 Cent – He could face jail time and a hefty fine if found guilty on 1 count of domestic violence and 4 counts of vandalism. Fiddy allegedly caused over $7,000 damage to his ex-girlfriend’s condo before kicking in her bedroom door and subsequently kicking her.
• fun. – Saturday their “Most Nights Summer Tour” kicks off in Toronto and continues through October 13th in Mexico City. Tegan & Sara open all dates.
• Jay-Z – His new album “Magna Carta Holy Grail” is officially out Sunday, although Samsung smartphone users got to download it for free on Thursday. Samsung paid $5 each for the 1 million digital copies given away.
• John Mayer – Saturday his 2013 tour begins at the massive “Summerfest” in Milwaukee WI and runs well into the Fall, with dates announced up to October 5th in Los Angeles.
• Mumford & Sons – Saturday they play Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in London. Also on the bill: Vampire Weekend, Ben Howard, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes, Haim and more. The SRO show is the first big music event to take place at the renovated Olympic site.
• Pitbull – This weekend he’s the guest host on the syndicated “American Top 40” radio show. He’ll answer questions directly from fans, talk about his album “Global Warming”, his current tour, and his work on the animated movie “Epic”.
• Robert Plant & Sensational Space Shifters – They’re headlining the first JamBase Live festival, set for this weekend at the Gorge Ampitheater in Gorge WA.
• 3 Doors Down / Daughtry – Tonight the 3rd leg of their co-headlining tour kicks off in Solomons MD. It runs through August 3rd in Cleveland OH. Halestorm and Ed Kowalczyk appear as special guests on select dates.

This week’s big releases opened Wednesday. Opening in limited release today: “Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me” (Documentary); “Hammer Of the Gods” (Action); “Just Like a Woman” (Drama); “The Look of Love” (Dramedy); and “The Way, Way Back” (Dramedy).

A team of American and Swiss researchers has created new contact lenses which, when paired with special eyeglasses, bestow telescopic vision on the wearer, magnifying details by 2.8 times. Polarizing filters in the spectacles enable switching between normal and telescopic vision. The system has been developed to help people suffering from age-related macular degeneration, which makes it difficult to perform tasks  that rely on picking up details, such as driving and reading. The contact lenses might also find a military use, helping soldiers on the battlefield. Clinical trials begin in November. (It’s HDTV … in your eyeballs!)
– BBC News

Doug Engelbart, the inventor of the computer mouse and developer of early incarnations of email, word processing, and the Internet, has died at age 88. The mouse was one of the biggest advances in his personal campaign to make computers user-friendly. He developed it in the 1960s and patented in 1970. At the time, it was a wooden shell covering 2 metal wheels, with an ‘X’-‘Y’ positioning indicator for a display system. The notion of operating the inside of a computer with a tool on the outside was way ahead of its time. The mouse wasn’t commercially available until 1984, with Apple’s new Macintosh. (Unfortunately, his patent ran out in 1987 … so he never made a dime during his invention’s heyday.)
– USA Today

German ad agency BBDO is proposing to transmit ads via … train windows. The ‘Talking Window’ idea is based on bone conduction technology, a technique that transmits sound to the inner ear by passing vibrations through the skull. So when a commuter leans against a ‘Talking Window’, they sense a voice inside their head, though no-one else can hear it. As well as ads, the system might be used to provide music, mass transport information, and weather reports. (Just what you want when struggling into work all muzzy-headed … someone nagging at you!)

A haddock’s mating call starts as a slow knocking sound before turning into a quicker hum, similar to a small motorcycle revving its engine. (Is that a biker I hear? Nope, just a horny fish.)
– Magazine Monitor


1950 [63] Huey Lewis (Hugh Anthony Cregg III), NYC, oldies singer (& the News -“I  Want a New Drug”, “The Power of Love”)/sometime movie actor (“Duets”, “Back To the Future”)

1959 [54] Marc Cohn, Cleveland OH, pop singer (“Walking In Memphis”)/wed to TV anchor Elizabeth Vargas (2002)

1963 [50] Edie Falco, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (“Nurse Jackie” since 2009, “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)/winner of 4 Emmys, 2 Golden Globes, and 5 SAG Awards

1980 [33] Jason Wade, Camarillo CA, rock singer-guitarist (Lifehouse-“You & Me”, “Hanging by a Moment”)

1982 [31] Dave Haywood, Augusta GA, country musician (Lady Antebellum-“Just a Kiss”, “Need You Now”)

1986 [27] Adam Young, Owatonna MN, pop-electronica musician (Owl City-“Good Time”, “Fireflies”)

Former US president George W Bush is 67; Movie actor Sylvester Stallone (“The Expendables”) is 67; CBC News anchor Peter Mansbridge (“The National”) is 65; Movie actor Geoffrey Rush (“Pirates Of the Caribbean”) is 62; Rapper 50 Cent (“In Da Club”) is 38.

Oldies drummer Ringo Starr (The Beatles) is 73; TV actress Jorja Fox (“CSI”) is 45; Movie actress Berenice Bejo (“The Artist”) is 37.

• “Calgary Stampede”, the 101st annual rodeo & 10-day festival through July 14th in Calgary, Alberta. Due to severe flooding in the past month, the festival’s Saddledome music concerts with Bruno Mars, Carly Rae Jepsen, Dixie Chicks, KISS, and Tim McGraw have been cancelled. Organizers hope to reschedule the gigs.
• “Graham Cracker Day”, saluting the wafer developed in 1829 by Presbyterian minister Sylvester Graham who believed consumption of graham flour suppressed ‘carnal urges’. What’s the best use for graham crackers? Pie crust? S’mores? Moon pies?
• “Running Of the Nudes” in Pamplona, Spain, the 9th annual protest of bullfighting organized by PETA ahead of the famous annual “Running Of the Bulls”.
• “Workaholics Day”, a day to remove your nose from the grindstone … just once.
• “World Wife Carrying Championships”, the 18th annual in Sonkajarvi, Finland in which men from around-the-world tote their wives (or a female friend) around an 830-ft (250-m) obstacle course in hope of winning her weight in beer. The current record is 55.5 seconds.

• “Fiesta de San Fermin” in Pamplona, Spain, infamous for its annual ‘Running Of the Bulls’. The 9-day event was made legendary by Ernest Hemingway in his novel “The Sun Also Rises”.
• “Fried Chicken Day”. Don’t know why. But then … who cares? Dig in!
• “International Cherry Pit Spitting Contest”, the 40th annual expectorates in Eau Claire, Michigan. Entrants eat a cherry and then spit the pit as far as possible. Sounds like a good excuse for an in-studio competition!
• “International Kissing Day”, so presumably you can only kiss someone from another country.
• “Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day”, to show appreciation for the specialized geek responsible for your company’s website. (What a fascinating time this will be, huh?)

• “Chocolate Day”, started by the National Confectioners Association to promote what is almost every woman’s (and many a man’s) weakness. Some say chocolate from the New World (mostly Mexico) was introduced to Europe on this date in 1550.
• “Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day”. If she’s a teenager, good luck! Like are you tryin’ to embarrass her or what?
• “Global Forgiveness Day”, begun in 1994 as a way for us to identify with our personal need to forgive and be forgiven. A good day to knock that chip off your shoulder and make peace with yourself and others.
• “Tell the Truth Day”, challenging each of us to go an entire day without telling a lie or saying anything misleading or dishonest. Is this possible?

2000 [13] “Big Brother” premieres (CBS) but fails to generate the same buzz it experiences in other versions worldwide (even so, season 15 is now underway)

1607 [406] Britain’s national anthem “God Save the King” (Queen) is first sung in public

1946 [67] French designer Louis Reard unveils a daring 2-piece swimsuit at the Piscine Molitor swimming pool in Paris as showgirl Micheline Bernardini models the 1st ‘bikini’ (named for the Pacific atoll where the 1st atomic test took place earlier in the week)

1996 [17] ‘Dolly’ the sheep, the 1st mammal to be successfully cloned from an adult cell, is born at the Roslin Institute in Scotland

2003 [10] Serena Williams captures her 2nd consecutive Wimbledon tennis title with a 3-set victory over her sister Venus

2012 [01] ‘The Shard’ in London, England is inaugurated as the ‘Tallest Building in Europe’, with a height of 310 meters (1,020 ft)

[Mon] “Get Me Out Alive with Bear Grylls” debuts (NBC)
[Mon] International Town Criers Day
[Tues] Ramadan begins (Muslim)
[Wed] Don’t Step On a Bee Day
[Wed] Piña Colada Day
[Wed] Hot Dog Night
This Week Is … Freedom Week
This Month Is … Sandwich Generation Month


• Wrong turn through unexpected suburban neighborhoods.
• Overnight accommodations in enclosed space near screaming baby.
• The visitor center of broken exhibits serving 0 million visitors a year.
• Breathtakingly cold water in locals-only municipal swimming pool.
• Historic B&B with peeling paint and … is that cat pee? It’s definitely cat pee.
• Staycation in living room, nestled between eatery (kitchen) and spa (bathroom) with all the comforts of home.
• High school reunion featuring wine coolers and vengeful payback.
• Some national monument with more stairs than a stair factory.
• Immersive, authentic experience in depressing town you left at age 18.
• The Goddamit-We-Paid-a-Lot-of-Money-So-Quit-Crying Amusement Park.
– Thanks to Lora Shinn

☎ What would give up your cellphone in order to keep for a week? (In a poll on the topic, most people say they’d rather do without their phones than – huh? – cheese.)

Here’s what a ‘Barbie’ doll with an average woman’s measurements would look like.

Canadian Daniel David Palmer was the first person anywhere to take up which profession?
a. Hockey Puck Manufacturer.
b. Chiropractor. [CORRECT. He began practising ‘chiropractic’ in 1895 in Davenport, Iowa.]
c. Proctologist.

When a waitress puts food on the table, the old men look at the plate. The young men look at the waitress.

Question: THIS food is consumed outside the home 90% of the time.
Answer: French fries.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.

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