Monday, July 6, 2015                  Edition: #5488

Sheeters Always Prosper!

★ There’s speculation Ashton Kutcher & Mila Kunis finally tied the knot on the weekend. The Hollywood stars became engaged last year and welcomed their 1st child, a daughter named Wyatt, in October. A source suggests the couple officially wed at a private mansion in Los Angeles over Independence Day weekend. Details were reportedly kept quiet until 24 hours or less before the wedding. It’s said the ceremony was a very small and intimate affair with close friends and family only.
★ New details about the upcoming “Spider-Man” reboot continue to emerge. In addition to the recent casting news that Tom Holland will play ‘Peter Parker’, Marvel honcho Kevin Feige has revealed that the new film will explore the life of the superhero in a high-school setting. Feige also reveals that the ‘Spidey’ revival is likely to feature a comic-book villain who hasn’t been in any of the previous films. Jon Watts is set to direct the 1st film of the as-yet-untitled reboot, scheduled to hit cinemas July 28, 2017.
★ And ‘James Bond’ may be heading to Broadway in a new musical put together by the daughter of longtime ‘007’ producer Harry Saltzman. Merry Saltzman, whose father produced 9 ‘Bond’ movies, is working on a new stage show featuring the character, which she hopes will premiere in either NYC or Las Vegas. She reveals the show will feature original music and lyrics; several previous ‘Bond’ villains plus some new ones; and, of course, a ‘Bond girl’. “James Bond: The Musical” is expected to open in late-2017 or early-2018.

• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Noel Gallagher (“Chasing Yesterday”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – James Taylor (“Before This World”). Rerun.
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Nick Jonas (“Nick Jonas”). Rerun.
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Andre 3000 (OutKast). Rerun.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The judges choose 20 dancers, as callbacks continue in Las Vegas.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Charlie Wilson (“Forever Charlie”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Ed Sheeran (“x”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Charlie Wilson again.

• The Beatles – In a new interview with “Esquire”, Paul McCartney reveals he’s frustrated that John Lennon’s 1980 assassination made him an even bigger star. Quote: “John did a lot of great work. And post-Beatles he did more great work, but he also did a lot of not-great work. Now the fact that he’s now martyred has elevated him to a James Dean, and beyond.”
• Billy Joel – The 66-year-old and his 33-year-old girlfriend Alexis Roderick were wed Saturday, surprising guests at their annual 4th of July party. Joel’s 29-year-old daughter Alexa Ray Joel (with former wife Christie Brinkley) was in attendance, and New York governor Andrew Cuomo presided over the event. The newlyweds are expecting a baby this Summer.
• Ed Sheeran – The 24-year-old has announced he’s secured himself his first acting credit, landing a role on an upcoming ”medieval” TV show, which he promises will be ”really, really dark” and ”gruesome”. He says he can’t reveal much because the pilot just got picked up.
• Florida Georgia Line – Tyler Hubbard has wed Hayley Stommel at Trail Creek Cabin in Sun Valley, Idaho on the 2-year anniversary of their 1st kiss. Stommel wore Monique Lhuillier, while her golden retriever (and ring-bearer) Harley wore a bow tie. Brian Kelley was best man.
• Foo Fighters – Saturday they took to the stage for the first time since Dave Grohl’s accident at their 20th anniversary concert at RFK Stadium in Washington DC. Grohl performed seated on a giant throne. His mother joined the rockers onstage for a rendition of “For All the Cows”.
• Lionel Richie – After his acclaimed performance at this year’s Glastonbury festival, his 2003 album “Lionel Richie & The Commodores Definitive Collection” has zoomed to #1 on the latest UK album sales chart.
• Rihanna – She’s released a 7-minute video for “Bitch Better Have My Money”. She premiered the mini-movie during an intimate Tidal X event in West Hollywood CA, before unleashing it on Tidal and Vevo. The clip was co-directed by Rihanna and Megaforce.
• Taylor Swift – Nielsen Music has released its mid-year album report, showing that vinyl sales continue to grow in 2015. While the format has become increasingly popular over the last 8 years, it’s a bit surprising to see that “1989” is the biggest-selling vinyl album so far in 2015.

A new report uncovers the fact that Facebook has been in talks with the major labels about getting into music. Facebook execs are said to have met with Sony Music Entertainment, Universal Music Group, and Warner Music Group about its interest in moving further into the music world. There are no details yet about exactly what the social media company is interested in doing. Many would assume that Facebook wants to jump into the streaming music pool, but following Apple’s launch last week with its own service, that may not be the case. Facebook has already been beefing up its music video content in what is thought to be a full-on attempt to compete with YouTube. (Facebook Music … do you ‘like’ that idea?)

• Bring Summer Into the Office – Put flowers on your desk, a beach screen-saver on your computer, play some Summer music, etc.
• Make the Most of Your Lunch Hour – Get outdoors in a nearby park and treat yourself to a business day picnic, or find a café with outdoor seating.
• Take Your Work Outside – See if you can move a meeting outdoors, or try to steal some quiet moments outside with your laptop.
• Look Into Flex Time – See if you can work longer hours Monday through Thursday in order to leave early on Friday, or come in earlier each day so you can leave earlier and enjoy Summer afternoons.
• Give Yourself a Break – Too many of us fail to take any vacation whatsoever. Commit to using at least part of your accumulated vacation time during Summer.

Consumer outrage over the massive K-Cup waste created by Keurig coffee machines is brewing innovation … new ways to compost or recycle the plastic single-serve containers. While the machines use less electricity, water, and coffee, the popular pods produce a mountain of waste, so the race is on to figure out what to do with them. Keurig’s parent company Keurig Green Mountain has committed to ensuring that 100% of its K-Cup pods are recyclable by 2020. Several firms in the US and Canada are racing to get a solution to market well ahead of that. Toronto-based Club Coffee may be first. Its 100% compostable ‘PurPod 100’ should be out this Fall. (Refillable single-serve pods from a buck store are a far cheaper way to brew coffee and help the environment at the same time.)

✗ Dead Whales – Icelandic brewing company Steojar made headlines by making a low-fat beer with processed whale meat, obtained from beached carcasses. It was subsequently banned.
✗ Elephant Dung – Japan’s ‘Un, Kono Kuro’ was made using coffee beans that had passed through elephants. It sold out within minutes, even at the hefty price of $100-a-bottle.
✗ Human Beard – Rogue Ale’s ‘The Beard Beer’ makes use of natural yeast from the beard of the Oregon-based company’s master brewer.
✗ Dead Christmas Trees – Spruce-based beers have been around for centuries, a practice some believe should be revived to help curb the wasteful discarding of Christmas trees.
✗ Rocky Mountain Oysters – Denver’s Wynkoop Brewing Co created ‘Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout’, a limited-edition brew with 3 bull testicles per barrel. It was just testes-in-cheek humor.
✗ Actual Oysters – Oyster shells and meat have been used in stouts since the 18th century. They give beers a silky, salty finish that makes them favorites in Belgium and New Zealand.
✗ Hemp – Flavored with hemp seeds, Washington’s Redhook brewery first made ‘Joint Effort’ beer to celebrate the state’s legalization of marijuana in 2012. (See Today’s Firsts below.)
✗ Frankincense & Myrrh – Fittingly called ‘Gift Of the Magi’, this gold-colored seasonal ale from The Lost Abbey is flavored with frankincense bark and the smallest amount of myrrh.
– Condensed from

• People with blue eyes are more likely to have an alcohol addiction.
– “Huffington Post”
• The more politically conservative you are, the easier you’ll find it to lose weight because you’re likely to have more self-control.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• A tennis player can produce up to 3 liters of sweat an hour while playing.
– BBC News


1946 [69] George Walker Bush (aka ‘Dubya’), New Haven CT, 43rd US President

1946 [69] Sylvester Stallone, NYC, movie actor-screenwriter-director (“Rocky”, “Rambo”, “The Expendables” film series)

1948 [67] Peter Mansbridge, London UK, TV new anchor (CBC-TV’s “The National” since 1988)

1951 [64] Geoffrey Rush, Toowoomba, Australia, movie actor (“The Book Thief”, “The King’s Speech”)  UP NEXT: “Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” 2017.

1975 [40] 50 Cent (Curtis Jackson), Queens NY, rapper (“Candy Shop”, “In Da Club”)/movie (“Home Of the Brave”, “Get Rich or Die Tryin'”)  COMING UP: “Southpaw”, opening July 24th.

1979 [36] Kevin Hart, Philadelphia PA, comedian/movie actor (“Ride Along”, “Get Hard”)  UP NEXT: “Ride Along 2” January 2016.

1980 [35] Eva Green, Paris, France, movie actress (“300: Rise Of an Empire”, “Casino Royale”)/TV actress (“Penny Dreadful” since 2014)

1985 [30] Chris ‘Woody’ Wood, London UK, rock drummer-vocalist (Bastille-“Of the Night”, “Pompeii”)

• “Fiesta de San Fermin” in Pamplona, Spain, famous for its annual ‘Running Of the Bulls’. The 9-day festival was made legendary by Ernest Hemingway in his novel “The Sun Also Rises”.

• “Fried Chicken Day”. Don’t know who started it; don’t know why. But then … who cares? Dig in!

• “International Kissing Day”, so presumably you can only kiss someone from another country.

• “Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day”, to show appreciation for the specialized geek responsible for your company’s website. (What a fascinating time this will be, huh?)

1994 [21] “Forrest Gump” starring Tom Hanks opens in movie theaters (goes on to earn $678 million in worldwide box office)

1957 [58] Liverpool teenagers John Lennon and Paul McCartney 1st meet at the Woolton Parish Church Garden Fête, at which John and his Quarry Men skiffle group are invited to play (The Beatles ensue)

2011 [04] Pyeongchang, South Korea is named host city for the 2018 Winter Olympics

2014 [01] The State of Washington legalizes recreational marijuana (joining Colorado)

1985 [30] Tommy ‘Muscrat’ Greene of Annapolis, Maryland sets a new world record by eating 288 oysters in 1 minute, 33 seconds

2009 [06] In the most lopsided loss in franchise history, NL’s Cincinnati Reds are routed by Philadelphia Phillies 22-1, beating the previous record 20-run differential (26-6) between the same teams in 1892

[Tues] Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day
[Tues] Global Forgiveness Day
[Tues] Tell the Truth Day
[Wed] Ice Cream Sundae Day
[Wed] Be a Kid Day
[Thurs] “Dates” debuts (CW)
[Thurs] Québec City Summer Festival begins (Québec QC)

Be Nice to New Jersey Week / Character Counts Week / Creative Maladjustment Week / Farriers Week / Nude Recreation Week


Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Reverend Lonnie’s Clothing-Optional Trampoline Park … Gold Coast, Australia.
• Asphalt Flats State Park … Newark, New Jersey.
• Wet & Wanton Water Orgy Park … Amsterdam, Netherlands.
• Mount Pampers … Cincinnati, Ohio.
• Interpretive Dancing Whimsical Chimney Sweep Theme Park … London, England.
• The Amazing World of Dirt … Medicine Hat, Alberta.
• Crystal Lake Fantasy Serial Killer Camp … Vorhees, Illinois.
• Triple Crown Glue Factory … Louisville, Kentucky.
• Six Flags Over Chernobyl … Ukraine.
– First published in “BS” 2010.

What would you be sizing up when using each of the following units of measurement?
• ‘British Thermal Unit’ – Heating or cooling. 1 BTU is the amount of heat required to raise the temperature of 1 lb of water by 1 degree Fahrenheit. Air conditioners are rated this way; a typical window AC unit measuring 5000 to 10,000 BTUs.
• ‘Faggot’ – Firewood. A faggot is 3-feet-long and 2 feet in circumference. There are about 134 faggots in a cord.
• ‘Sabin’ – Soundproofing. Used in acoustical engineering, 1 sabin is the sound absorption of 1 square foot of a perfectly absorbing surface.
• ‘Clo’ – The insulating value of clothing. With a rating of 0 clo you’d be naked; 1 clo would be the insulating value of the average business suit.
• ‘Balthazar’ – Wine. A balthazar is a large bottle holding about 12 liters, or 16 times the volume of a standard 750 ml bottle.
• ‘Scoville Heat Units’ – The heat in peppers. Sweet Bell peppers measure 0 SHU, the Jalapeno rates up to 5,000 SHU, while the fiery Red Savina Habanero pepper registers 350,000 SHU.
– First published in “BS” 2005.

☎ Which profession is a total dating turn-off? Would you go out with a mortician? Garbage collector? Stripper? Accountant?

You know what’s good on chocolate? Chocolate.

Question: You might think it’s OK to do THIS at work, but 80% of your co-workers are likely to say no way.
Answer: Trimming fingernails (and heaven forbid, toenails!).

A grownup is someone who suffers from responsibility.

Thomas DeBray @ Newsradio 1580 [WCCF] Punta Gorda FL; MJ Benz @ The Zone 107.1 [KLMZ] Farmington MO; Delano Perera @ E FM Colombo, Sri Lanka; Robert Legroulx @ Southern Fryed Radio, Calgary AB; Graham Wilman @ Trafford Sound, Manchester UK; and Nathan Knight @ Country 1570 [CKMW] Morden MB.

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