BS SHOW  BIZ BUZZ:
★ Today actor-turned-screenwriter, producer, and sometime artist James Franco adds another notch to his expansive résumé … stage director. Franco is helming Robert Boswell’s world premiere play “The Long Shrift” at Rattlestick Playwrights Theater through August 23rd. The off-Broadway job coincides with his current one on Broadway as an actor in “Of Mice and Men”. That play ends its run on July 27th.
– Associated Press
★ With a little bit of magic, Jay Leno is returning to TV today. Leno’s voice, that is. The former host of NBC-TV’s “Tonight Show” is voicing the role of a wise-cracking crystal ball in “The 7D”, Disney’s comedic animated update of the world of the ‘Seven Dwarfs’. The series premieres this morning on Disney XD. Leno’s ‘Crystal Ball’ is joined in the opening episode by ‘Magic Mirror’, voiced by “The View” co-host Whoopi Goldberg. The characters are recurring.
– USAToday.com
★ Filmmaker Cameron Crowe is reportedly developing his first TV series, centered around a fictional rock band’s tour. The “Almost Famous” filmmaker is currently preparing for his first foray onto the smallscreen with an ensemble comedy titled “Roadies”. Crowe, who created the series and is producing the program alongside JJ Abrams’ production company Bad Robot, is also slated to direct the pilot episode.
– NikkiFinke.com
★ And acting couple Megan Fox & Brian Austin Green have bought legendary singer Bing Crosby’s old property … or at least part of it. The couple, who wed in 2010 and have sons Noah (20 months) and Bodhi (4 months) together, forked out $3.35 million for the 6,700-sq-ft ranchhouse, originally a guest house on the “White Christmas” crooner’s estate in the Toluca Lake area of Los Angeles County. The purchase comes just weeks after the couple listed their Los Feliz CA home at $3.995 million. So far, no takers.
– Bang Showbiz

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Kelis (“Food”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Adam Lambert (“Playlist: The Very Best of Adam Lambert”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Brit singer-songwriter Charli XCX (“True Romance”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Classic rock act Crosby, Stills & Nash.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Jennifer Lopez (“A.K.A.”). Rerun.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande – She’s announced she’s releasing her sophomore album, “My Everything”, on August 25th.
• Lorde – She’s alerted fans not to expect the same kind of music on her next album as on her debut, “Pure Heroine”. That album reflected the world in which she grew up, a suburb populated by friends and familiar people. Now, she says, she’s in a different place every day.
• Sam Smith – The 22-year-old singer-songwriter’s mother, Kate Smith, was sacked from her £500,000-a-year ($850,000) job as a currency & bonds broker for ‘insubordinate behavior’, which purportedly included spending too much time on her son’s music career. Guess she has the last laugh now.
• Weezer – They’ve been in the studio with producer Ric Ocasek (formerly The Cars), working on the new album “Everything Will Be Alright In The End”. They’ve been posting occasional clips on YouTube of the recording process. No release date has yet been announced.

WORKS ALMOST AS WELL AS RED WINE:
A cup of strong coffee is, for many, essential to getting the brain in gear at the start of the day. Now scientists have found that it may have the added benefit of … cleaning your teeth. How so? A study from the Federal University of Rio de Janeiro has found that a compound in coffee breaks down the bacteria associated with tooth decay. But – and it’s a big but – the Brazilian scientists further point out that the positive effect of a cuppa joe is totally cancelled out by adding milk and/or sugar. (Can you gargle with java?)
– “The Times”

BEST JOBS FOR WOMEN 2014:
A new listing of fields in which women are making strides and can expect employment opportunities in the coming years …
• Actuary
• Advertising & Promotions Manager
• Computer Systems Analyst
• Dental Hygienist
• Education Administrator
• Event Planner
• Human Resources Manager
• Market Research Analyst
• Occupational Therapist
• Physical Therapist
• Public Relations Manager
• Speech Pathologist
– CareerCast.com

SMART BIKE:
Visiobike, a new light-weight e-bike made of carbon fiber, connects to a smartphone via Bluetooth. Once connected, the Visiobike app offers a slew of navigation functions and safety features such as GPS tracking and a rear-view camera. The bike also has a motor, for users more concerned about getting to work than getting a workout. The bike is designed for urban professionals looking to save time on their commute without compromising safety or breaking a sweat in their office-wear. The first bikes are expected to ship in August, priced at $5,300 for the basic model; and $6,800 for a deluxe version with automatic gear-shifting. (Let’s see … how many cab rides is that?)
– AFP

CRAZIEST CELEBRATIONS FROM AROUND-THE-WORLD:
• “Cascamorras” (Baza, Spain): Each year on September 6th locals completely cover themselves in grease to reenact the stealing of a statue that took place 500 years ago.
• “Up Helly Aa” (Lerwick, Scotland): The highlight of this modern-day Viking celebration is the burning of life-size Viking longships.
• “La Tomatina” (Buñol, Spain): For the past several decades on the last Wednesday of August this small Spanish town witnesses the largest tomato fight on Earth.
• “Songkran Water Festival” (Chiang Mai, Thailand): Every April 13th-15th this Thai town has the biggest water fight in the world.
• “Festival of St Vincent” (Manganeses de la Polvorosa, Spain): Villagers round up a goat and throw it from the top of a bell tower while others below hold out blankets to catch it.
• “Baby Tossing” (Sholapur, India): Once a year mothers throw their babies of off 50-foot ledges to be caught by villagers below in order to secure ‘good luck’ for their children.
• “Cooper Hill’s Cheese Rolling Festival” (Gloucester, England): Every year hundreds of people go rolling down this English hill while chasing a wheel of cheese. Injuries are common.
• “Boryeong Mud Festival” (Boryeong, South Korea): Just like it sounds. If mudslinging’s your thing, this is your festival. You can slog through it, roll in it, throw mudballs … whatever you like.
• “Batalla de la Rata Muerta” (El Puig, Spain): As you may be able to tell from the name, during this event at the fiesta of San Pedro Nolasco residents throw dead rats at each other.
• “Las Bolas de Fuego” (Nejapa, El Salvador): To celebrate surviving a volcanic eruption villagers get together each year and throw the equivalent of Molotov cocktails at each other.
• “Moose Dropping Festival” (Talkeetna, Alaska): In celebration of the US state’s official animal, locals attempt to drop moose poop onto targets from hot air balloons.
– List25.com

BUG OFF:
You can catch flies with honey, but fake sweetener kills them. A new Drexel University study has found that fruit flies hungry for sugar are fooled by artificial sweetener, but at least one such product proves to be toxic for them. Researchers have found that flies raised on food containing the sweetener ‘Truvia’ lived only 5.8 days on average instead of up to 50 days. The toxic ingredient is erythritol, which is not present in other sweeteners. The study was inspired by a 6th grade science fair project. (Leave it to kids to fix the world!)
– MentalFloss.com

BS AMAZING FACTS ABOUT FELINES:
• Cats aren’t interested in sweet stuff because of an inherited defect in a gene that controls their sweet taste receptor.
• Even healthy cats can exhibit symptoms of illness (missing the litter box, vomiting, decreased appetite, etc) if there’s a change in their normal routine.
• One reason cats paw the water in the water bowl is thought to be that it creates ripples, which makes it more interesting.
– MentalFloss.com

BS CHRONOMETER 07.07.14

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [74] Ringo Starr (Richard Starkey), Liverpool UK, rock drummer (Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band)/bad singer (“Photograph”, The Beatles-“Act Naturally”)

1968 [46] Jorja Fox, NYC, TV actress (‘Sara Sidle’ on “CSI” 2000-07, since 2009)

1981 [33] Synyster Gates (Brian Elwin Haner Jr), Huntington Beach CA, metal rock guitarist-vocalist (Avenged Sevenfold-“This Means War”, “Hail To the King”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Day”, started by the National Confectioners Association to promote what is almost every woman’s (and many a man’s) weakness. Some say chocolate from the New World (mostly Mexico) was introduced to Europe on this date in 1550.

• “Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day”. If she’s a teenager, good luck! Like are you tryin’ to embarrass her or what?

• “Global Forgiveness Day”, begun in 1994 as an excuse for us to get in touch with our need to forgive and be forgiven. A good day to knock that chip off your shoulder and make peace with yourself and others.
NET: http://www.ceca.cc/global_forgiveness_day/

• “Macaroni Day”, saluting one of the more popular forms of Italian Pasta. How would the average student survive college without mac & cheese?

• “Running Of the Bulls” begins in Pamplona, Spain, an annual event during the “Fiesta San Fermin”. Starting today we’ll likely get the usual listing of ‘cornadas’ (wounds from goring).

• “Tell the Truth Day”, challenging each of us to go an entire day without telling a lie or saying anything misleading or dishonest. Is this possible?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [08] “Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” opens in movie theaters (the 2nd film in the franchise eventually rockets to #4 in all-time worldwide box office, at just over $1 billion)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [08] Pink Floyd singer-songwriter-guitarist Syd Barrett dies at age 60

2007 [07] “Live Earth: Concerts For a Climate In Crisis” take place in 11 locations on all 7 continents, featuring performances by over 150 musical acts (which emit about 7 trillion tons of carbon into the atmosphere)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1928 [86] 1st ‘sliced bread’ as Des Moines, Iowa-born inventor Otto Rohwedder takes his much-scoffed-at loaf-cutting contraption to a struggling Chillicothe, Missouri baker named Frank Bench, who increases his sales by 2,000% within 2 weeks

1996 [18] Synbiotics Corporation of Rancho Bernardo, California becomes the 1st company to extend group healthcare coverage to its employees’ … pets (including dogs, cats, and horses)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1985 [29] At age 17, Boris Becker becomes the youngest player to win the men’s singles title at the Wimbledon Tennis Championships

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Ice Cream Sundae Day
[Tues] Be a Kid Again Day
[Wed] Sugar Cookie Day
[Thurs] Don’t Step On a Bee Day
[Thurs] Piña Colada Day
[Thurs] Teddy Bear Picnic Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Be Nice to New Jersey Week / Creative Maladjustment Week / Farriers Week / Nude Recreation Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS IT’S TIME YOU MOWED YOUR LAWN:
• You have to attach an orange antenna flag to your kid before she plays outside.
• Your lawn flamingo was taken down by hungry jackals.
• Taking out the garbage requires a machete and a 4-day supply of water.
• Suddenly your yard is THE hot spot to watch bison do it.
• The last time it was cut, the neighbor kid did it for 5 bucks. Today, his son wants a hundred.
• Your ABOVE-ground pool is now an IN-ground pool.
– First published in “BS” 2004.

BS THINGS THAT DON’T HELP YOUR FEAR OF FLYING:
• Each passenger being asked to bring a quart of oil in their carry-on.
• After flight attendants demonstrate seat belts, oxygen masks and life vests, they run through how to settle a flight insurance claim.
• The First Class seat next to you is reserved for the spare tire changer … and the spare tire.
• Flight attendant makes “air quotes” with her fingers every time she says “Captain”.
• In addition to being able to purchase drinks, snacks, and a pillow, flight attendants offer a wide array of parachutes.
• Observing other passengers go into a screaming mid-flight panic … out your window … on a different plane.
• The pilot’s guide dog has a major attitude problem.
– First published in “BS” 2011.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Right now in Spain, it’s the annual Running Of the Bulls. Followed, of course, by the Soiling Of the Pants and then the Burying Of the Idiots.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which are married couples more likely to have in common than strangers?
a. Veganism.
b. Eye color. [CORRECT]
c. Loud clothing.
– “Glamour Magazine”

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What nostalgic item from your childhood do you wish would come back so you could play with it again?

BS WEB GOODIE:
British tennis star Andy Murray’s girlfriend will paint your dog.
NET: http://kimsears.com/wp/

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Researchers have found that people think food tastes better if it is THIS.
Answer: Expensive.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Always do the right thing. This will gratify some and astonish the rest.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Kathy Mars @ KZEP 104.5 San Antonio TX; Mike Francis @ Radio Maxx, Takoradi, Ghana; Thor Jadesø @ Radio Sydhavsøerne, Nykøbing, Denmark; Kevin Matthews @ The Cape’s Best Music [WCOD] Hyannis MA; Jeremy Harpe @ The Native Perspective [CFWE] Edmonton AB; Callum Golligy-Sutton @ Life Radio, Cambridge UK; Ryan Jacobs & Austin Ratcliff @ B-105 [WUBE] Cincinnati OH; and David Andrews @ Gold Country 1320 [WOBL] Oberlin OH.