Wednesday, July 9, 2014        Edition: #5258


Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Cats”, the 1981 stage musical based on TS Eliot’s poems about cats that featured ridiculous makeup and spandex is going to be even more ridiculous. When it comes back to London’s West End this December, it will feature original character ‘Rum Tum Tugger’ as … a rapping street cat. The musical’s composer, Andrew Lloyd Webber, says he’s come to the conclusion that perhaps poet Eliot (1888-1965) was the de facto inventor of rap. (We’ve come to the conclusion that Webber is recycling because he hasn’t had a stage hit in a long, long time.)
– AP
★ The Sportsman Channel has ordered up a 2nd season of “Amazing America with Sarah Palin”, but the sometime political star also thinks another show might be a good fit for her, suggesting she’s ready to ‘go rogue’ on “The View”. Quote: “I hear everyone recently got canned from ‘The View’; maybe a show like that needs a punch of reality and a voice of reason from America’s heartland to knock some humble sense into their scripts.” As of now, Whoopi Goldberg is the only one set to return for “The View’s” new season on September 15th. (Whoopi and Sarah … halfway to the lineup from hell!)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ And Zac Efron & Michelle Rodriguez have finally confirmed rumors they are a couple after being spotted smooching while on vacation in Italy. The 26-year-old former “High School Musical” star and openly-bisexual 35-year-old actress have been photo-ed enjoying a bit of PDA on a yacht anchored off Sardinia. Michelle first spoke about her sexuality in October last year, when she admitted, “I’ve gone both ways”. She & model/actress Cara Delevingne were previously an item. (Basically she likes anything that breathes.)
– @MailOnline

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Hopefuls perform for the judges.
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Bone Thugs-n-Harmony (“Thug Stories”). Rerun.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Rodrigo y Gabriela (“9 Dead Alive”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Kellie Pickler (“Woman I Am”). Rerun.
• “Extant” (CBS/Global) – Premiere of a new sci-fi thriller series starring Halle Berry as astronaut ‘Molly Woods’, who returns from a 13-month solo mission … pregnant. A production from Steven Spielberg’s Amblin TV.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Nico & Vinz (“The Magic Soup & The Bittersweet Faces”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jake Bugg (“Shangri La”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Neon Trees (“Pop Psychology”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Sleeper Agent (“About Last Night”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Florida Georgia Line (“Here’s To the Good Times”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV2) – Top 20 finalists perform, face elimination.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Canadian reggae fusion band Magic! (“Don’t Kill The Magic”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bruce Springsteen – Today a short film called “Hunter of Invisible Game” debuts on his official website at noon EDT. The mini-movie is a collaboration with Thom Zimny, who has worked with Springsteen on a number of live concert videos in the past.
NET: http://www.brucespringsteen.net
• Ed Sheeran – His new album “x” is a worldwide hit, debuting at #1 in Australia, Canada, Denmark, Germany, Ireland, New Zealand, Switzerland, United Arab Emirates, UK, and USA.
• Kanye West – New wife Kim Kardashian has been accused of reversing the charge on her AmEx for their honeymoon at Castle Oliver in Limerick, Ireland. Seems they weren’t satisfied with the $20,000-worth of effort the proprietors put in, so they’re refusing to pay.
• Miley Cyrus – She has a new tat underneath her left arm that’s meant to honor her dearly departed dog, Floyed, who passed away 3 months ago. Oddly, a couple of her friends have also had the same tattoo inked on in the very same spot.
• Pharrell – At the halfway point of 2014, his mega-hit “Happy” is the biggest digital song of the year so far, selling a total of 5.6 million copies according to Nielsen SoundScan.
• Pink Floyd – Their 1st ‘new’ album in 20 years, “The Endless River”, is due in October. The content isn’t new, however, as it consists of unreleased songs from 1994, when David Gilmour, Nick Mason, and the late Richard Wright recorded “The Division Bell”. Roger Waters was not part of that album, so he won’t be on this one either.
• Queens Of the Stone Age – Tonight in  Montréal PQ they kick off some newly added tour dates that run through July 20th in Philadelphia PA. Then in August they’ll head overseas to Europe.

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Grousers’ (gown + trousers) – One description of what Jennifer Lopez wore at a recent Versace show in Paris. The designer’s strapless white concoction featured a high-slitted floor-length skirt that revealed a single pant leg. Is that a ‘pown’ or maybe a set of ‘gants’?
• ‘Housing Lock’ – The inability to look for better job opportunities in another market because one’s house is worth less than the mortgage on it, thereby preventing a move.
• ‘Yacht Rock’ – A form of soft rock music with a smooth, melodious sound, often with nautically-themed lyrics. Much of it comes from the ’70s and ’80′s, ie: Christopher Cross, known as the ‘king of yacht rock’.

TEEN NOVELS ON TOP:
The best-selling books for the first half of 2014 …
5. “The Goldfinch” by Donna Tartt
4. “Allegiant” by Veronica Roth
3. “Insurgent” by Veronica Roth
2. “Divergent” by Veronica Roth
1. “The Fault In Our Stars” by John Green
– “USA Today”

MOST MARKETABLE SPORTS STARS:
Athletes worldwide ranked according to their marketing potential over a 3-year period from this Summer based on age, value for money, home market, charisma, crossover appeal, and (of course) willingness to be marketed …
10. Sloane Stephens (USA) … Tennis
9. Blake Griffin (USA) …Basketball
8. Missy Franklin (USA) … Swimming
7. Neymar (Brazil) … Soccer
6. Usain Bolt (Jamaica) … Track
5. Grigor Dimitrov (Bulgaria) … Tennis
4. Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal) … Soccer
3. Robert Griffin III (USA) … Football
2. Virat Kohli (India) … Cricket
1. Lewis Hamilton (UK) … Auto Racing
– uk.eurosport.Yahoo.com

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 56% of web surfers skip all online video ads.
• 37% of drivers have (or have had) a ‘Baby On Board’ sign displayed on their vehicle.
• 33% of  guys contend they can’t go without pizza for a week.
• 31% of us admit we never apply sunscreen in the Summer.
• 24% of us say our biggest bedroom pet peeve is ‘crumbs in the bed’.
• 10% of women get a say when it comes to picking out an engagement ring.

OBNOXIOUS THINGS RESTAURANTS NEED TO STOP DOING:
✗ Asking How the Meal is Mid-bite … “It was great until you butted in!”
✗ A Ridiculous Number of Menu Items … More than 4 pages? TMI (Too Many Items).
✗ Happy Birthday Songs … Embarrassing to the ‘honoree’ and the staff who have to sing them.
✗ No Substitutions Allowed … Oh c’mon, we hate asparagus!
– Adapted from Cracked.com

BS SHOCKING FACT:
North Americans account for less than a 16th of the world’s people, but more than a third of their weight.
– Telegraph.co.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 07.09.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [62] John Tesh, Garden City NY, syndicated radio host (“Intelligence For Your Life With John Tesh” (estimated 14.5 million listeners across America, Canada, and the UK)/former TV host (“Entertainment Tonight” 1986-96)/quasi-musician (“Power of Love”)

1956 [58] Tom Hanks, Concord CA, movie actor (“Captain Phillips”, Academy Awards-”Forrest Gump”, “Philadelphia”)

1964 [50] Courtney Love (Harrison), San Francisco CA, sometime singer (Hole-”Nobody’s Daughter”)/sometime actress (“People vs Larry Flynt”)/Mrs Kurt Cobain (1992-94)

1968 [46] Xavier Muriel, San Antonio TX, rock drummer (Buckcherry-”Gluttony”, “Sorry”)

1975 [39] Jack White (Gillis), Detroit MI, rock musician (“Lazaretto”, The Raconteurs-”Steady As She Goes”, White Stripes-”Seven Nation Army”)/movie actor (“Cold Mountain”)

1984 [30] Jacob Hoggard, Surrey BC, pop-rock singer (Hedley-”Kiss You Inside Out”, “On My Own”)

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
“Sugar Cookie Day”, honoring the cookie that is so delicious, yet so simple. All you need is sugar, flour, butter, eggs, vanilla, and baking powder. (Mmm, smells so good!)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [10] “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” opens in movie theaters, starring Will Ferrell & Steve Carell

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1999 [15] Mick Jagger’s marriage to model Jerry Hall is officially annulled in a London court, eliminating 8 years of marriage and a 22-year relationship (and about $37 million)

1999 [15] Elton John checks into London’s Wellington hospital to have a pacemaker installed due to an irregular heartbeat

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2005 [09] Daredevil skateboarder Danny Way uses a large ramp to jump over the Great Wall of China, becoming the 1st to clear the wall without motorized aid

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2006 [08] The Fiat 500 Club Italia organizes the ‘World’s Largest Parade of Fiat Cars’, from Villanova d’Albenga to Garlenda, Italy (500 of them, of course)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Don’t Step On a Bee Day
[Thurs] Piña Colada Day
[Fri] “Dawn Of the Planet Of the Apes” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Cow Appreciation Day
[Sat] Collector Car Appreciation Day
This Week Is … Farriers Week
This Month Is … Horseradish Month

BULL’S BITS


SUMMER FITNESS CLASS MOTIVATORS:
Encouragements fitness instructors can yell out in place of “It’s bikini season!” …
✓ “It’s chase your unexpectedly windborne beach umbrella across the sand while hoping it doesn’t impale anyone before you catch it season!”
✓ “It’s pedal your rental bike back to the beach shack fast enough to stay within the half-day rental price season!”
✓ “It’s get out of the secret cave before high-tide when it completely fills in with water season!”
✓ “It’s elude the aggressive seagull season!”
✓ “It’s carry the cooler full of melted ice and empty beer bottles back to the car by yourself because you’re the most sober of all your friends season!”
– Thanks to Kate Hahn

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the weirdest book you own?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Who lives at number 664? The neighbor of the beast.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to a recent poll, THIS is the top guilty pleasure for both men and women.
Answer: Ice cream.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.


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