Wednesday, July 27, 2011        Edition: #4558

Sheet For Brains!

Sandra Bullock’s ex-husband Jesse James (“Monster Garage”) & TV tattoo artist Kat Von D (“LA Ink”) have called off their engagement, citing their long-distance relationship as the reason for the breakup (1,382 miles makes your heart go wander) . . . “Gossip Girl” actress Leighton Meester’s legal battle with her mother has turned ugly as her mom has filed a countersuit over allegations of misused funds and accused the actress of assaulting her last year (money & fame – ain’t it great?) . . . Actor James Franco, who already mixes movies with art projects and university courses, is about to get even busier, reprising his 2009 TV role on daytime soap “General Hospital” (ABC) later this year as serial killer ‘Franco Frank’ (just stay away from the Oscars, ‘kay?) . . . Despite being warned about completing only 33 of her 480 hours of court-ordered community service, starlet Lindsay Lohan is planning to jet off to St-Tropez this Thursday and stay until August 2nd (another in a long line of smart decisions) . . . According to “The Sun”, Jennifer Lopez is reportedly asking for a fee close to the $35 million Simon Cowell used to get in order to return as a judge on “American Idol”, a big bump from the estimated $13 million she was paid last season (not worth it – she’s no Simon) . . . Meantime, the 15,000 sq-ft ‘haunted’ Beverly Hills mansion where “American Idol” contestants lived last season has been sold for $11.2 million to baby products mogul Steven B Dunn (among other amenities included, he now has a motor court with enough room to park – 100 cars!) . . . And sorta comedian Dave Chappelle has now apologized for his Friday engagement at Florida’s Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, where he spent much of his standup comedy show – texting onstage (dude, it’s “Cellphone Courtesy Month”!).

• Amy Winehouse – Only family & close friends attended her private funeral at a north London cemetery yesterday. Her ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil was warned to stay away. Not much need … he’s serving 32 months in prison for burglary and a firearm offence. Amy’s ashes will reportedly be mixed with those of her beloved grandmother. An inquest into her death has been adjourned until October, after toxicology tests become available.
• Kenny Chesney – Final numbers are in for his July 2nd concert at Heinz Stadium in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania: 53,753 fans, and a total gross of $4.6 million.
• Lauryn Hill – She gave birth to her 6th child over the weekend, according to multiple reports. She first announced last month onstage in Detroit, Michigan that she was pregnant … again.
• Michael Jackson – Jermaine Jackson & brother Randy are distancing themselves from their mother Katherine Jackson’s plans to stage “Michael Forever – The Tribute Concert” at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales this October 8th. (Sounds about as likely as Jermaine’s shelved tribute event scheduled for Vienna, Austria in 2009.)
• Mumford & Sons – 26-year-old Oscar-nominated British actress Carey Mulligan (“An Education”) is now reportedly engaged to her folk-rock singer-boyfriend Marcus Mumford. The couple have been an item since February.
• Ricky Martin / Nicki Minaj – They’ve been named the new faces of MAC’s ‘Viva Glam’ lipstick, and are launching their own ‘Viva Glam Ricky’ and the ‘Viva Glam Nicki’ brands. Profits go to help fight HIV/AIDS. They’re taking over the campaign from current spokesperson Lady Gaga.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Funeral Party (“Golden Age Of Knowhere”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Kellie Pickler (“Kellie Pickler”); Ricky Martin (“Musica + Alma + Sexo”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Chris Young (“Neon”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – School of Seven Bells (“Disconnect From Desire”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – They Might Be Giants (“Join Us”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Anna Calvi (“Anna Calvi”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – OneRepublic (“Waking Up”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The remaining dancers try to impress the judges, including guest judges Lady Gaga and director/choreographer Rob Marshall (“Chicago”, “Nine”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Vanessa Carlton (“Rabbits On the Run”).

New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Hydrail’ – A railway system that uses hydrogen fuel-cell technology; or a train powered by hydrogen fuel cells.
• ‘Omega Male’ – At the other end of the scale from the ‘Alpha Male’, this is the guy who is least likely to take on a dominant role in a social or professional situation.
• ‘Toyger’ – The new must-have pet, a cat that has been bred to look like a toy tiger.

Experts say the best time to schedule surgery is before noon, when there tend to be fewer complications. In a Duke University study of more than 90,000 operations, ‘adverse events’ were found to be least common 9 am-noon and most common 3-4 pm. That’s likely due to surgeons’ flagging energy and concentration. Ideally, try to nab the 2nd or 3rd slot in the OR as a related study shows that surgeons perform better when they’re warmed up. (How reassuring to find out your 8 am heart transplant was a ‘warm-up’.)
– “Redbook”

THE ‘27 CLUB’:
Musical artists who’ve tragically died at the age of 27 …
1969 … Brian Jones (Rolling Stones).
1970 … Jimi Hendrix.
1970 … Janis Joplin.
1971 … Jim Morrison (The Doors)
1994 … Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)
2011 … Amy Winehouse.

The US military and its suppliers have brought us such technical innovations as the GPS and the digital camera, and now they’ve developed … the robot jet ski. Sounds like something straight out of a ‘James Bond’ flick but the US Navy has made it into a reality. All decked out with a plethora of hi-tech surveillance systems, the drone jet ski – code-named ‘Blackfish’ – is designed to go after ‘amphibious terrorists’. (Killer Whales?)

You’re more likely to die shortly after getting paid. Specifically, the 2nd payday of the month, because by then you really have some money to spend. Economist William Evans reasons that, for most people, the first pay of the month goes to pay the monthly bills but most of us have a much freer disposal of the income from the 2nd pay of the month. That money is more likely to get spent in ways that aren’t good for one’s health, thus increasing risks. (Party!!!!)
– “TIME Magazine”

A ranking of some of the big-buck private boats that sail the seas …
5. ‘Seven Seas’ ($200 million) – 280 ft. Owned by movie producer/director Steven Spielberg. Equipped with a helipad, 2 swimming pools, a spa, massage room, and 2 cinemas.
4. ‘Al Said’ ($200-$300 million): 508 ft. Owned by Sultan Qoobas bin Said al Said, Sultan of Oman. Houses a concert hall that can host a 50-piece orchestra.
3. ‘Dubai’ ($350 million): 525 ft. Owned by Shiek Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, ruler of Dubai and Prime Minister of the UAE. Has a Blackhawk helicopter and a submarine.
2. ‘Eclipse’ ($800 million): 533 ft. Owned by Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich. Features a anti-missile defense system and an anti-paparazzi laser shield.
1. ‘History Supreme’ ($4.8 billion): Length unknown. Owner is an anonymous Malaysian businessman, possibly Robert Kuok. Contains 100,000 kg of precious metals including gold & platinum; has decorations made of t-rex bones and meteoric stone.
– Adapted from MSNBC /

Arizona scientist Dr Loretta Mayer, alongside biotech company SenesTech, has developed ‘Chemspay’, a doggy contraceptive that is administered once orally or via injection, which induces menopause. It’s been proven to render dogs unable to have puppies. Mayer is taking the product to India to help reduce the country’s feral dog population and, in about 3 years, plans to begin FDA trials at an animal rescue center in Flagstaff, Arizona in hope of future distribution in North America. (Now about the billions of cats …)

• The ‘Soft-Hearted’ pillow contains a small plastic pouch that seals their ashes so you can cuddle them for eternity.
• ‘And Vinyl’ presses ashes into vinyl records for you to listen to forever after. You can either use your favorite song or have the company write a tune specifically for you & your pet.
• Designer Kate Benjamin rolls fluffy leftover kitty or puppy fur into balls and then turns them into jewelry.
• Fur can be turned into yarn and then knitted into sweaters for photographer Erwan Fichou’s ‘Dogwool’ series of pictorials.
• Japanese company ‘Lido’ can turn your pet’s ashes into a yellow diamond up to 1 carat in size for use in your choice of jewelry creations.
• Artist Jackie Kaufman uses a quick-forming silicon mold to take imprints of pet’s noses, which she then uses to cast metal pendants.

19% of drowning deaths involving children occur in public pools with certified lifeguards present, according to the Drowning Prevention Foundation.


1972 [39] Maya Rudolph, Gainesville FL, movie actress (“Bridesmaids”, “Away We Go”)/TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 2000-07)  COMING UP: Co-stars with Christina Applegate in the new NBC-TV comedy “Up All Night”, debuting September 21st.

1973 [38] Abe Cunningham, Long Beach CA, alt-rock drummer (Deftones-“Diamond Eyes”, “Change”)

1975 [36] Alex Rodriguez (‘A-Rod’), NYC, MLB All-Star 3rd baseman (NY Yankees)/baseball’s highest-paid player (10-year, $275 million contract)/sometime boyfriend of many, including Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Madonna

1977 [34] Jonathan Rhys Meyers (O’Keeffe), Dublin, Ireland, TV actor (‘Henry VIII’ on “The Tudors” 2007-10)/movie actor (“From Paris With Love”, “Bend It Like Beckham”)

• “Korean War Veterans Armistice Day”, commemorating the 1953 negotiated cease-fire that ended the war on the Korean peninsula. During the 3 years of fierce struggle, over 600,000 Allied lives were lost.

• “Sleepyhead Day” in Finland (‘Unikeonpaiva’), commemorating the Ephysus Martyrs, who are said to have slept in a cave for 200 years starting in 200 AD. On this morning many families throw water on the face of the last person still in bed. (You gotta love those Finns!)

• “Take Your Houseplants For a Walk Day”, to help them get to know their real environment.

• “Walk on Stilts Day”, celebrating the feat most often seen in parades and at the circus. Stilt-walking is an ancient art that only requires a pair of stout sticks and lots of practice. (And maybe some extra butt padding in case you take a tumble.)

2003 [08] Entertainer Bob Hope dies in Toluca Lake, California at age 100

2006 [05] The company behind online file-sharing service Kazaa agrees to pay record labels over $115 million in damages for music piracy

2007 [04] 1st known incidence of 2 news helicopters colliding in mid-air as whirlybirds from Phoenix, Arizona TV stations KNXV and KTVK slam into one another while covering a police chase (no survivors)

[Thurs] Milk Chocolate Day
[Thurs] Chili Dog Day
[Fri] “Cowboys & Aliens”; “Crazy, Stupid, Love”; “The Smurfs” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Lumberjack Day
[Fri] Talk In an Elevator Day
This Week Is … World Footbag (Hackeysack) Week
This Month Is … Horseradish Month


(What to say when friends are discussing videogames you’ve never played … or even seen.)
• “Mario” (“Kart” variety) – “I love the turtles.”
• “Mario” (non-“Kart” variety) – “I hate the turtles.”
• “Halo” – Don’t you hate snipers?”
• “Call of Duty” – “Don’t you hate snipers?”
• “Team Fortress 2” – “Don’t you hate snipers?”
• “Mass Effect” – “I love how long the game is.”
• “Mass Effect 2” – “I love how much longer the game is.”
• “Grand Theft Auto” – “I love the wide-open world.”
• “Red Dead Redemption” – “I love the wide-open world … and the horses.”
• Any sports game – “I don’t understand why they took out that feature I liked from last year’s version.”
• Any other game – “It looks pretty, but I wish they’d put more work into improving the gameplay.”
– Thanks to Chris Grace

What unusual talent has been passed down from generation-to-generation in your family?

Some of the following are real names of past or present musical acts, some are total BS. Which are which?
• Swingin’ Johnsons [real]
• Cops Under Fire [BS]
• Zombies Under Stress [real]
• Uncle Dickie’s Shameless Quickies [real]
• Internet Crime [BS]
• Flu Season [BS]
• The Well Hungarians [real]
• Planes Collide [BS]
• Airport Gridlock [BS]
• Screaming Headless Torsos [real]

Girls who wear zippers shouldn’t live alone.

The 8th season of HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is underway. Fans will delight in the online ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm Soundboard’. You simply click on the portraits to hear your favorite quotes from the cast (content warning).

Today’s Question: A new study says THIS makes men more apt to cheat on their partners.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: If their fathers did.

The best education is learning how little we know.

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