Thursday, June 23, 2005        Edition: #3062
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY veteran movie critic Roger Ebert gets a star on the “Hollywood Walk of Fame” (he’s not happy with the location and wonders if the lighting couldn’t be a bit better) . . . TONIGHT & tomorrow former touring festival “Lollapalooza” stays put in Chicago’s Grant Park, featuring The Killers, Billy Idol, Weezer, Liz Phair, The Pixies & others (http://www.lollapalooza.com) . . . Clothing & accessories worn by Jamie Lynn Spears on the Nickelodeon series “Zoey 101″ are due to hit the market THIS FALL (seems making money off no measurable talent runs in the family) . . . So far 19 acts have been announced for the Canadian “Live 8″ concert in Barrie ON, which leaves room for 2 more (a Moffats reunion, anyone?) . . . Nicole Richie has persuaded her divorced parents, singer Lionel Richie and his ex-wife Brenda, to reunite long enough to both walk her down the aisle at her upcoming wedding to DJ Adam Goldstein . . . In a surprise move, Tom Cruise’s people have announced he will NOT press charges against the TV pranksters who doused him with water at the London premiere of “War of the Worlds” (wouldn’t he be more likeable had he just laughed it off as a joke?) . . . In somewhat of an odd gesture, Tom Cruise reportedly flew fiancée Katie Holmes to Madrid for a lavish dinner with Eduardo & Encarna Cruz – the parents of his previous girlfriend, actress Penelope Cruz (then after the meal he asked for Nicole Kidman’s hand in marriage) . . . 44-year-old acting hunk George Clooney is said to be back on the market after splitting with on & off Brit girlfriend Lisa Snowdon – over the phone (hey, it could have been worse – the answering machine) . . . Court TV anchor Diane Dimond is writing a book about Michael Jackson’s legal struggles, to be published THIS FALL (could there possibly be any obscure details that we haven’t already heard?) . . . And online gambling site PinnacleSports.com has placed odds at 7/2 that Michael Jackson will sell his Neverland Ranch and 7/5 that he’ll sell The Beatles catalogue, but a concert tour overseas or show in Las Vegas are considered long shots at 5/1.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billy Idol – TONIGHT the classic rocker does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC-TV.
• Kiss – TODAY through July 17 their first official retail store, ‘KissWorld’, is holding an online closing-out sale … even though it never opened. The Melbourne, Australia store originally planned to debut in 2004 but never quite got off the ground.
NET: http://kissworld.net
• Lifehouse – TONIGHT they’re on NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”.
• Rolling Stones – Extra dates have been added throughout the US and Canada for their upcoming tour due to high demand.
• Smashing Pumpkins – Billy Corgan has announced in full-page Chicago newspaper ads that he wants to reform the Smashing Pumpkins, 5 years after they decided to call it quits.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
Robert DeNiro & Meryl Streep are being sought to star in the Disney comedy “First Man”, about a business mogul who puts his career on hold to help his wife become the 1st female US president (a complete rip-off of the upcoming ABC-TV series “Commander-in-Chief”, starring Geena Davis) . . . Former TV cartoon superhero “Underdog” is being developed as a live-action movie (word is Al Pacino wants the role) . . . Sarah Michelle Gellar is set to star in a bigscreen adaptation of EA’s video game “American McGee’s Alice”, a sequel of sorts to “Alice in Wonderland” in which ‘Alice’ has grown up to become a disturbed young woman who destroys enemies with playing cards & croquet mallets . . . Meantime, Vin Diesel is attached to star in a bigscreen version the video game “Hitman” . . . The producers of “Ray” are looking to turn the life of late comedian Rodney Dangerfield (“I can’t get no respect”) into a bio-film . . . “Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix” is returning to its original British studio location after the parents of lead actor Daniel Radcliffe voiced safety concerns over filming in the Czech Republic to save production costs (well, who’s got the hammer now?) . . . 15-year-old Radcliffe’s first non-‘Potter’ role will be in “December Boys”, the story of 4 orphans competing to be adopted by the same family in 1960s Australia . . . Brit actor Michael Caine is hoping to do a remake of “Sleuth”, this time with Jude Law (his 1972 original with Laurence Olivier received 4 Oscar nominations).

“LIVE AID” TICKET SCRAMBLE:
THIS MORNING at 10 am ET the 35,000 tickets for the Canadian “Live 8″ concert are up for grabs (maximum 2 per person) @ ticketmaster.ca for those who answer the following question:
According to “Live 8″ and “Make Poverty History”, what can G-8 leaders do to help make poverty history?
a) Increase foreign aid.
b) Cancel the debt of poor countries.
c) Make trade rules fair for the poor.
d) All of the above. [CORRECT, as per http://www.makepovertyhistory.ca/e/platform.html]
It’s expected the tickets will be gone within 15 minutes.
– Canoe Jam!

THE GRADUATE:
THIS MORNING Queen Elizabeth II is expected to attend her grandson Prince William’s graduation ceremony, along with his father Prince Charles and new stepmother, Camilla Parker Bowles, now known as the Duchess of Cornwall. Hunky William (nicknamed ‘Wills’) will receive his MA diploma from Scotland’s St Andrew’s University. It’s thought the event may also be the first opportunity for the queen to meet the parents of the 23-year-old Prince’s live-in girlfriend, Kate Thornton (née Focker).
– “Daily Telegraph”

GHOULISH AUCTION:
TODAY a handful of morbid mementos are being offered among some 2,000 movie, rock n’ roll and sports-related items at Leland’s auction house in NYC. Among them …
• A business card with a handwritten note from convicted wife-killer Scott Peterson.
• A section of rotting, white picket fence from the grassy knoll in Dallas TX where President John F Kennedy’s assassin may have stood.
• A framed newswire photograph of Jack Ruby assassinating JFK assassin Lee Harvey Oswald.
A propeller from the 1972 plane crash that killed baseball great Roberto Clemente was withdrawn after protests of poor taste … and a threatened lawsuit from the family. Among the other ‘Americana’ items on sale: Mick Jagger’s belt, a Jimi Hendrix bracelet, and an Elvis Presley handgun.
NET: http://www.lelands.com
– Reuters

THE LONG & SHORT OF IT:
• New research at France’s National Institute for Statistics & Economic Studies suggests that  short men are inclined to work harder to compensate for their lack of height. Lead researcher Nicholas Herpin theorizes this is to prove themselves as reliable providers to prospective mates. (Otherwise known as the ‘Napoleon Complex’.)
– “Fortean Times”
 • Here’s an alternative to seeking size 14 feet. According to a new study at the Naval & Veterans Hospital in Greece, men with longer index fingers are also larger in … well, another department. (Studio experiment!)
– “New Scientist”

BS TALES OF THE BIZARRE:
• In an extremely unusual case, a Calcutta, India doctor is treating a teenage boy who has been showing symptoms of – menstruation. The 15-year-old’s ‘period’ has been occurring in the 2nd week of every month and lasts 3 days during which he experiences stomach aches, cramps, nausea & mood swings. Physicians say that though he has male organs, his behaviour and traits are like a woman. (rediff.com)
• A 12-year-old Ethiopian girl kidnapped by men who wanted to force her into marriage has been rescued by – lions. After she’d been held in a remote area for 7 days, 3 lions chased away the girl’s captors, then guarded her for half-a-day until family and police found her. (CNN)

GANJA ON A STICK:
There are new lollipops on the market that are said to taste exactly like – marijuana. The pot-flavored novelty candy is made with hemp oil from the marijuana plant but all traces of THC, the stuff that gives marijuana its high, have been removed. It comes in several versions including ‘Acapulco Gold’, ‘Purple Haze’ and ‘Rasta’. California-based Chronic Candy says its candy is perfectly legal and markets it with the slogan: “Every lick is like taking a hit!” (And makes you really hungry for more.)
NET: http://www.chroniccandy.com
NET: http://www.hydroblunts.com
– AP

AND WE QUOTE:
“Women are full of buttons, little buttons, millions of buttons. And men have just the on-and-off switch. Men need only food and you-know-what. We need so much more.”
– Sauce-pot singer Shakira waxing philosophic in the JULY issue of “Blender” magazine.

BS AMAZING FACT:
Beware of filthy lucre! It’s estimated that half of all bills and coins carry infectious germs. (Send it in and we’ll get rid of it for you … as a public service.)
– “Popular Science”

THE BULL SHEET 06.23.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [49] Randy Jackson, Baton Rouge LA, TV personality (“American Idol” judge since 2002)/former music industry exec (A&R VP-Columbia, MCA)/former rock bassist (Journey)/cousin of actor Samuel L Jackson  FACTOID: He’ll host his own Westwood One syndicated radio show beginning in SEPTEMBER.

1957 [48] Frances McDormand, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Almost Famous”, Oscar-“Fargo”)/married to filmmaker Joel Coen (“O Brother, Where Art Thou?”) since 1984

1972 [33] Selma Blair, Southfield MI, movie actress (“Hellboy”, “Legally Blonde”)

1977 [28] Jason Mraz, Mechanicsville VA, pop singer (“Wordplay “, “Curbside Prophet”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY in Northern Europe is “Midsummer Eve”, celebrating summer with maypoles, music, dancing and bonfires. In Sweden and Finland it’s considered one of the year’s greatest festivals, comparable to Christmas and New Year’s Eve. The tradition goes back to ancient times.

TOMORROW is the annual “Celebration of the Senses”, when you’re encouraged to treat yourself to stimulation of each of your 5 senses. Ask listeners what would be the greatest sensation treat for each (then get ready to hit the bleeper button!). Here are some fun experiments involving each of the senses to try – they’re meant for kids, but then … aren’t we all?
NET: http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/chsense.html

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1989 [16] “Batman” opens in movie theaters with $42.7 million box office (goes over $100  million within 10 days)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1987 [18] Madonna becomes the first celebrity cover girl on “Cosmopolitan” magazine since Elizabeth Taylor in 1969

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1974 [31] 1st ‘Extraterrestrial Message’ sent from Earth into space

1995 [10] VISA & MasterCard agree to cooperate in creating a standard for online credit card security, a big boost for online shopping

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1982 [23] World’s ‘Heaviest Domestic Cat’, Himmy, weighed in Australia at 20.7 kg or 45 lb (imagine scooping that litter box!)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] St-Jean-Baptiste Day (QC)
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Fri] “Bewitched” & “The Land of the Dead” open in movie theaters
[Fri-Sun] Glastonbury Music Festival (Glastonbury UK)
[Sat] Log Cabin Day
[Mon] Discovery Day (NL)
[Mon] Canadian Multiculturalism Day
This Week Is . . . Canadian Hire a Student Week
This Month Is . . . Effective Communications Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
TOP CAREER KILLERS:

• Lack of results.
• Not working at a job you’re passionate about.
• Not having big enough goals.
• Thinking that money is everything.
• Having a bad attitude.
• Gossiping & playing office politics.
– CareerBuilder.com

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
1. 50 Cent  – “Just A Lil Bit”
2. Ciara – “Oh”
3. Eminem – “A** Like That”
4. Mariah Carey – “We Belong Together”
5. Mike Jones – “Back Then”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

BS ‘WHOSE REAR END?’ GAME:
Just like ‘Name the Tune’ – only backwards. Play the LAST few notes of a tune, then have listeners try to identify the artist and song by guessing ‘Whose Rear End?’.

BS NAME GAME:
In each group of 3 names, which one is NOT one of the 5,000 most popular in America?
• Maple, Sugar, Honey [Sugar]
• November, September, January [November]
• Alpha, Beta, Omega [Beta]
• Dakota, Nevada, California [California]
– US Census Bureau

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the absolute best cheap date? (AskMen.com suggests a hike, bike ride, picnic or house party; visiting an art gallery, farmer’s market or winery; or how about a home-cooked meal?)

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Behind every successful [athlete] stands a woman … and behind her stands his wife.
• I’m the living proof this morning … late to bed and early to rise makes a guy cross, mean and surly.
• My wife just bought an occasional chair. So what is it the rest of the time?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: When a poll asked, “What’s been in your freezer the longest?”, THIS was mentioned most frequently.     
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A pot-pie.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
An unbiased opinion is always absolutely valueless.


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