Wednesday, June 22, 2005          Edition: #3061
Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“Live 8″ organizer Bob Geldof is reportedly warning performers there should be no ranting and raving about George W Bush, Tony Blair or the war in Iraq as the JULY 2nd concerts are to be all about world poverty . . . Actor Leonardo DiCaprio may press charges over that beer bottle bashing he took on the weekend in Hollywood (how much movie money is the scar gonna cost him?) . . . Tom Cruise is reportedly insisting that the TV crew who squirted him with water in London be prosecuted . . . There are reports Katie Holmes will be dropped from the next “Batman” movie because Warner Bros honchos are unhappy her relationship with Tom Cruise has diverted attention away from “Batman Begins” (former female leads Kim Basinger, Michelle  Pfeiffer, Nicole Kidman & Alicia Silverstone only had one kick at the bat, too) . . . Meantime, Christian Bale is considered such a hit as the ‘Caped Crusader’, there are discussions about re-making the previous 4 films with him in the lead role . . . Oprah Winfrey may be 2005′s ‘Most Powerful Celebrity” in “Forbes” magazine but she was refused entry at the Hermes store in Paris because – nobody knew who she was! . . . A slew of celebs including Nicole Richie, Coldplay, Motley Crue & Lenny Kravitz are cashing in by allowing their famous faces to appear on casino chips in Las Vegas, an idea that’s also jacked up casino profits because many of the chips are saved as souvenirs and never cashed in . . . Get ready for more bad music – a new NBC-TV reality show called “I’m a Celebrity but I Want to Be a Pop Star” will allow TV, movie & sports stars the chance to live out their musical fantasies by performing in front of an audience . . . And get the airbrush ready – 47-year-old Sharon Stone is set to pose in the buff for “Playboy” again, 15 years after her first photo spread in the mag (yet another attempt to create buzz for “Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction”, coming NEXT MARCH).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bo Bice – TODAY the “American Idol” runner-up appears on ABC-TV’s “The View”.
• Foo Fighters – Frontman Dave Grohl tells “Entertainment Weekly” that during his Nirvana days he was the most unrecognizable person in the band … kind of this ball of hair in the background.
• Kathleen Edwards – TONIGHT the Ottawa-born ”Back To Me” singer is on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Martina McBride – The 38-year-old new mom is the latest in Mattel’s line of celebrity Barbie dolls. Dressed in a replica of the gown she wore to the “ACM Awards”, the doll will retail for $19.99 when it hits the market NEXT MONTH.
• Shakira – She may have become virtually invisible in the English-speaking world but at a recent shopping center appearance in Mexico City, she was mobbed by thousands and signed autographs for 2-and-a-half hours.
• Spice Girls – Word has it the only one preventing a reunion of the Spice Girls at “Live 8″ in London is Mel Brown (‘Scary Spice’). Organizers are continuing to try to persuade her, as all 5 original members need to appear for it to happen.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Herbie: Fully Loaded” (G-Rated Comedy): Lindsay Lohan stars as the new owner of ‘Number 53′, the free-wheeling Volkswagen with a mind of its own, in this 4th movie incarnation of Disney’s 1968 comedy “The Love Bug”. This time, Lohan takes the Beetle on the NASCAR circuit (where the paparazzi chase her around the track?). Buzz has it the tech wizards at Disney spent hours editing down the starlet’s breasts by 2 cup sizes and raising the neckline on her T-shirts, paying particular attention to a scene in which she’s seen jumping up and down. Michael Keaton & Matt Dillon must be embarrassed to co-star. Partly filmed in Vancouver.

CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New jargon entering the language …
• ‘Crudity’ – Nudity that is not appropriate in the setting, according to “Jane” magazine. (“Cameron Diaz agreed to disrobe for the role because it was important to the plot and not just crudity.”)
• ‘Hyperdating’ – Dating a lot of different people over a short period of time. (Not to be confused with Usher’s lifestyle … dating a lot of different people at once.)
• ‘Entertoyment’ – The massive marketing & product tie-ins that accompany blockbuster movies such as “Batman Begins”.

IT’S ALIVE … ALIVE!
A partnership of mad scientists from IBM and a Swiss university has begun building the world’s first computer simulation of an entire human brain. It’s hoped the ‘Blue Brain’ project will recreate the human brain down to the molecular level over the next 10 years. The virtual brain will be used to allow scientists to observe the electrical code our brains use to interpret the world. It could provide insight into the mysteries of human perception, memory and consciousness, and perhaps suggest cures for psychiatric disorders such as autism, schizophrenia and depression. ([Co-host] keeps his brain in the freezer overnight so it’s fresh each morning.)
– “New Scientist”

MANY MORE MIXES TO BE MADE:
The Liberals’ proposed Bill C-60 would amend the Copyright Act to make it illegal to upload songs to online shared directories, such as Kazaa or BitTorrent. Interestingly, while ‘making music available’ would be forbidden, it would still be okay to download music and burn CDs for personal use. The legislation will have to pass through several stages before it becomes law, perhaps late this year or early next. (So you can steal, just not share … is that it?)
– eTalk Daily

SOON THERE’LL BE WHITE STATES?
If ‘secularism’ were a religious denomination, it would be one of the largest and fastest-growing in America. The number of people who say they have ‘no religious affiliation’ has grown since the early 1990s to encompass about 14% of the US population. This trend may seem surprising, considering the political impact that ‘religious values’ have had in recent years. (It’s happening quietly because there aren’t too many ‘no religious affiliation’ zealots.)
– “Hartford Courant”

TOWARD BETTER BEER:
A new type of grain developed at Virginia Tech University is getting a test run in Virginia fields. The newly developed barley sheds its hull during harvesting, a feature that researchers believe will have several advantages: as livestock feed, it will offer faster weight gain for animals; as a low-cost corn additive it can be used to produce the alternative fuel ethanol; but – most importantly of all – the scientists say it will make a better tasting beer. (Like have you ever had a bad one?)
– WTOP Radio Network

HELL HATH NO FURY:
A British radio personality’s wife got her payback for her husband flirting on-air with a glamor model, whom he jokingly promised he’d leave his family for. Hayley Shaw, who’s hubby hosts “Tim Shaw’s Asylum” on Kerrang 105.2, sold the DJ’s beloved Lotus Esprit Turbo sports car worth $45,000 on eBay for – a buck. The Mrs says she’s sick of him disrespecting this family for the sake of his act. The car sold in 5 minutes. (That reminds me, have I mentioned yet this morning how much my wife means to me …)
– “Metro”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• A 13-year-old British boy was taken to hospital after he was found – with his hands glued to a lamppost. EMS workers managed to free him and his injuries are not thought to be serious. It’s still not known how the lad ended up stuck to the post in North Tyneside. (BBC News)
• A Romanian man has decided to sell his penis because he needs money more than sex. The 33-year-old from Rovinari says he needs financial support to take care of his younger brothers. He previously considered selling one of his kidneys and an eye but later changed his mind. (“Gazeta de Sud”)
• ‘Todd the Human Cannonball‘ has been fired – due to his fear of flying. It’s not the gun that shoots him 40 ft above the circus ring at 60 mph that scares the shiny pants off him – it’s airplanes. After the 26-year-old injured his knee while performing, the Cottle & Austen Circus decided to fly him from Scotland to Brazil for special training. But Christian refused to fly, so the circus has replaced him with ‘Diego the Human Rocket’. THC is threatening to sue. (“Times of London”)

FOR THE RECORD:
ER & Bessie Pennebaker of Lenox IA just celebrated their 81st wedding anniversary, a year longer than the (apparently incorrect) record which appears in the latest “Guinness Book”. They were married June 14, 1924. (And she’s still trying to get him to put the seat down.)
– “Des Moines Record”

BS AMAZING FACT:
TV sets already account for about 4% of residential electricity use, a percentage that will increase proportionally with the use of bigscreen TVs with HDTV, which draw even more power.
– “Christian Science Monitor”

AND WE QUOTE:
• “The stunt was meant to be light-hearted rather than malicious. We apologize to Mr Cruise for any offence caused.”  – The official apology from Britain’s Channel 4 for Tom Cruise getting sprayed with water as part of a prank for a TV show. (They better lawyer-up quick … he won’t be accepting.)
• “I play a low-grade American entertainer, which is perfect for me because that’s what I am.”  – Woody Allen describing his role in his new (as-yet-untitled) movie in “Variety”.

THE BULL SHEET 06.22.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [64] Ed Bradley, Philadelphia PA, CBS news correspondent (“60 Minutes” since 1981)

1949 [56] Meryl Streep, Summit NJ, movie actress (Oscars-“Sophie’s Choice”, “Kramer vs Kramer”)

1952 [53] Graham Greene, Six Nations Reserve ON, movie actor (Oscar nomination-“Dances With Wolves”)

1953 [52] Cyndi Lauper, Brooklyn NY, oldies singer (Grammy-“Girls Just Want to Have Fun”)

1964 [41] Amy Brenneman, Glastonbury CT, TV actress (‘Judge Amy Madison Gray’ on “Judging Amy” 1999-2005)

1970 [35] Steven Page, Toronto ON, pop singer (Barenaked Ladies-“One Week”)

1973 [32] Carson Daly, Santa Monica CA, TV host (NBC-“Last Call With Carson Daly” since 2002, MTV-“Total Request Live” since 1998)/syndicated radio host (“Most Requested”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Let It Go Day”, either something to do with releasing pent-up emotions or getting rid of your kid’s pet garter snake.

TODAY is “Mirthday”, a day to celebrate individualism and appreciate your own uniqueness. This is the day to make choices that are for your own good. It’s also a good excuse for a ‘Mirthday Party’. (Although it sounds like a speech impediment.)

THURSDAY-Sunday is the 52nd annual “Watermelon Thump” in Luling TX, home of the ‘World Champion Seed-Spitting Contest’ in which the Guinness  Record was established at 68 ft-9 1/8 ins. Thanks to their accent, Texans always seem to make a great interview.
PHONER: 830.875.3214 x2 (Susan Ward)
NET: http://www.watermelonthump.com

FRIDAY is the 7th annual “Take Your Dog to Work Day”, created by Pet Sitters International in 1999 to give dog owners the opportunity to invite their ‘best friend’ into participating workplaces. Are there jobs where you SHOULDN’T take your dog to work? Neurosurgery, perhaps? (Fortunately, thanks to your SFX library, you can take your dog to work whether you’re allowed to or not.)
PHONER: 336.983.9222 (Pet Sitters International, King NC)
NET: http://www.petsit.com/dogday
NET: http://www.thepoop.com/pooppourri/takedogtowork.asp
NET: http://pets1st.ca/articles/00092TakeYourDogToWork.asp

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1975 [30] Steven Spielberg’s “Jaws” premieres, sparking Hollywood’s obsession with the summer blockbuster.

2002 [03] Syndicated advice columnist Ann Landers dies in Chicago at age 83

2003 [02] Movie actor Adam Sandler weds Jackie Titone in an outdoor ceremony attended by celebrity friends … and his pet bulldog dressed in a tux

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1873 [132] PEI joins Canada (adding 137 people and 4 billion potatoes)

1979 [26] NHL absorbs Winnipeg, Québec, Hartford & Edmonton teams from defunct World Hockey Association (Winnipeg is now in Phoenix, Québec in Colorado, and Hartford in Carolina, leaving Edmonton Oilers as the only original WHA team still in existence)

1847 [158] 1st ‘doughnut’ (according to legend, doughnuts with a hole in the center were developed for sailors, so they could hook them over the spokes of a ship’s wheel while steering)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] St-Jean-Baptiste Day (QC)
[Fri] “Bewitched” & “The Land of the Dead” open in movie theaters
[Fri-Sun] Glastonbury Music Festival (Glastonbury UK)
[Sat] Log Cabin Day
[Mon] Decide to be Married Day
[Mon] HIV Testing Day
[Mon] Discovery Day (NL)
[Mon] Canadian Multiculturalism Day
This Week Is . . . Cheese Week (honoring this show?)
This Month Is . . . Perennial Gardening Month (yep … it’s endless alright)

BULL’S BITS . . .
5 RULES OF PHONE ETIQUETTE:

1. Have a purpose to your call.
2. Place the call at an appropriate time.
3. Keep the conversation brief.
4. Be positive and leave on a high note.
5. Leave a message only after the 2nd call; make sure it’s clear & understandable.
– AskMen.com

BS BRAIN STRAIN:
There’s a famous book that you’ve probably read which only uses 50 different words. What’s the book? [Dr Seuss' “Green Eggs & Ham”.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could read the private diary of any person in the world, whose would it be?

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• My wife is so demanding. Last night she gets all hissy and says, “Could you please move this transmission so I can take a bath?”
• Seems [other jock] is having a great vacation. We just got a postcard that says, “Having a wonderful time. Where am I?”
• [Co-host’s] girlfriend found a simple new form of birth control … she takes off all her makeup.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A 5-year study found that having one or more of THESE in your home lowers your IQ.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Kids. The part of the brain that makes you think objectively takes a big hit when you have a child.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing.

 


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