Wednesday, June 15, 2005        Edition: #3056
Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT FX channel’s “30 Days” premieres, a 6-episode reality series in which people swap roles, including a Christian who temporarily becomes Muslim, a conservative hetero man who moves in with a gay, and documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock (“Super Size Me”) who tries to spend a month living on minimum wage ($5.15 an hour) . . . FOX-TV has fast-tracked the new reality show “Skating With Celebrities”, which it admits is a rip-off of ABC-TV’s “Dancing with the Stars” in which uncoordinated celebrities humiliate themselves (so who do you want to see attempt a double salchow?) . . . In a rare show of scruples, “Us Weekly” magazine is adopting stricter rules for paparazzi photos, banning any taken while violating traffic laws, trespassing on private property or invading the privacy of children at school (telephoto shots of topless celebs sunbathing are still welcome) . . . In a salute to the late “Tonight Show” legend, the University of Nebraska’s Department of Theater Arts has been renamed the Johnny Carson School of Theater & Film . . . LAST YEAR Canadians cast over 32 million votes for their favorite “Canadian Idol” competitors over the course of the season . . . A “Live 8″ organizer says that newly-acquitted Michael Jackson would be allowed to perform at either the Philadelphia or London concerts JULY 2 if he expressed interest (but the jury’s still out for any appearance on “Sesame Street”) . . . Meantime, Mariah Carey wants to duet with George Michael at the “Live 8″ London gig (eww, did your stomach just turn over?) . . . Former “Simple Life” star Nicole Richie says her DJ fiancé Adam Goldstein wants a quiet wedding attended by close friends & family but she wants elephant rides, swans, horse-drawn carriages & salsa dancing on her big day (here comes their first tiff) . . . The 7th annual “Forbes” ‘Celebrity 100′ list of the wealthiest and most powerful celebrities will include first-timers Will Ferrell, Dave Chappelle & Jennifer Aniston . . . And have you noticed? “Cinderella Man” star Russell Crowe seems to be on a multi-media mission to publicly apologize ad nauseam for his recent phone-throwing antics, a mea culpa tour that was reportedly initiated by – his mommy, Jocelyn Crowe (as in ‘eating crow’).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alanis Morissette – TONIGHT she’s on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Black Eyed Peas – TONIGHT they appear on NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”.    
• Christina Aguilera – “Time” magazine reports her music is included in tunes used to deprive suspected terrorists of sleep (in other words torture them) at the US detention center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
• John Mayer – TONIGHT he’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Oasis – In his most recent tantrum, Liam Gallagher stormed off the stage halfway through singing “Champagne Supernova” at a concert in Imola, Italy. Bandmate brother Noel admits the gruesome twosome are hardly speaking these days.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Batman Begins” (PG-13 Action Thriller): In this dark prequel to the previous films, Brit actor Christian Bale stars as a young ‘Bruce Wayne’ who heads to Asia to train with a dangerous ninja master (Ken Watanabe). Upon returning to ‘Gotham’, he finds it overrun by crime, so he assumes a new identity as the ‘Dark Knight’ in order to clean it up. Cast includes Michael Caine (butler ‘Alfred Pennyworth’), Liam Neeson (‘Henri Ducard’), Morgan Freeman (‘Lucius Fox’), Gary Oldman (‘Police Lt James Gordon’), and Katie Holmes (former girlfriend ‘Rachel Dawes’). Director Christopher Nolan liked Cillian Murphy’s audition for the ‘Batman’ role enough to cast him as the devious villain ‘Scarecrow’. At a reported $100 million, the film’s marketing budget is the most ever for a single film.

KIDS NEED ONE-A-DAY:
A new study published in the JUNE issue of the “Journal of Pediatrics” concludes that in order to stay healthy, kids and teens need an average of 60 minutes of physical activity – every day. (And not just using their thumbs on techno-gadgets.)
– ANI

DELICIOUS WITH A GLASS OF POWDERED MILK:
The world’s first ‘indestructible sandwich’ has been created for the US military. The pizza pocket-style sandwich can survive airdrops and rough handling, and withstand fungus, mold and spoilage. It stays fresh for 3 years at temperatures up to 80 F (26 C), and 6 months at 100 F (38 C). However, soldiers who’ve tested the first prototype are unimpressed, only giving the sandwich an average rating of ‘acceptable’. (We thought the world’s first ‘indestructible sandwich’ was created by 7-11.)
– “New Scientist”

HOW TO MAKE SAFER BURGERS:
The herb rosemary, touted in the past for its beneficial qualities, is now proven to be a good source of antioxidants that reduce the level of harmful compounds in hamburgers. According to Kansas University researchers, the addition of rosemary reduces the levels of carcinogens in grilled ground beef patties. (Or you can use 3 drops of Pyro Diablo Hot Sauce – that’ll kill anything!)
– ANI

ANCIENT SEED SPROUTS:
Researchers in Israel say they have succeeded in growing a date palm from a seed that is 2,000-years-old. The baby date palm has been nicknamed ‘Methuselah’ after the biblical figure said to have lived a 1,000 years. It’s thought to be the oldest seed ever germinated. (We thought that was when Penny Lancaster announced she’s expecting Rod Stewart’s child.)
– BBC News

AND YOU THINK BUS EXHAUST STINKS NOW:
British bus company Stagecoach believes it’s found a secret weapon to cut pollution emissions – sheep pee. The urine is collected by the fertilizer industry from farmyard waste and refined into pure urea, which is injected into bus engines. Ammonia from the urea reacts with nitrous oxides in exhaust fumes and converts them to nitrogen gas and water, which is then released as steam. (Why not cut out the middle man? Put a john at the back of the bus.)
– “The Guardian”

GIVING EACH OTHER THE BONE:
In a British bioengineering experiment, 5 couples are exchanging bones. For the so-called ‘bio-jewelry’ research project, rings of bone are being grown using cells taken from the volunteers’ jawbones mixed with ‘bioglass’, a special bio-active ceramic material.
– BBC News

CHANGE YOUR NAME WHILE THERE’S STILL TIME!:
A study conducted at the University of San Diego which examined 27 years’ worth of California death certificates has found that people with ‘good’ initials such as ‘GOD’, ‘ACE’ or ‘WOW’ live more than 7 years longer than people whose monograms spell ‘bad’ words such as ‘PIG’, ‘RAT’ or ‘ILL’. (So what are your odd initials?)
– “Curious Times”

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN 2:
Frédéric Bourdin, a balding 31-year-old Frenchman nicknamed ‘The Chameleon’, has spent the past month masquerading as a teenager in a children’s home and high school in Pau, France without raising suspicion. By using facial hair remover, dying his greying hair blond and covering his bald patch with a ball cap, he convinced both officials and fellow students that he was a 15-year-old Spanish orphan who ran away after both parents were killed in a car crash. Bourdin is said to have previously assumed 39 other false identities.
– “Telegraph”

BS BUZZWORDS:
Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Retrosexual’ – A heterosexual man who spends little time on his appearance. (Well, we have a new way to describe [co-host] now …)
• ‘Bionics’ – The term used for the combination of biology and technology. For instance, the streamlined design of the new experimental Mercedes-Benz Bionic Concept Vehicle is based on a marine animal called the boxfish.
NET: http://www.germancarfans.com/news.cfm/newsid/2050607.004
• ‘Kawaii’ – Japanese slang for ‘cute’ used in the hit “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani, who’s a big fan of alternative Japanese pop culture.

HOW TO STAY THIN:
Instead of sitting in front of his computer, Dr James Levine of the Mayo Clinic stands on a treadmill and walks slowly – about 1 mile-an-hour. When he and colleagues get together for a meeting, they walk laps on a track. The speed is slow enough to avoid making him sweat, but fast enough to burn an extra 100 calories an hour, or about 1,000 per day. Levine claims that’s enough to create over 50 lbs of weight-loss a year if he maintains the same diet. One of his recent studies found that thin people are on their feet an average of 152 more minutes per day than couch potatoes. (After 4 years, won’t he completely disappear?)
– “Social Studies”

BS AMAZING BODY FACTS:
• Out of all the senses, smell is most closely linked to memory.
• Not all your taste buds are on your tongue. About 10% are on the palate and the cheeks.
• When you sneeze, all your bodily functions stop … even your heart.
• It’s estimated that one-third of the 300 million condoms used annually end up in the ocean.

THE BULL SHEET 06.15.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [57] Mike Holmgren, San Francisco CA, NFL coach (Seattle Seahawks, 1997 Super Bowl-winning Green Bay Packers)

1954 [51] Jim Belushi, Chicago IL, TV actor (“According to Jim” since 2001)/movie actor (“K-9″)/late John Belushi’s brother

1963 [42] Helen Hunt, LA CA, movie actress (“Cast Away”, Oscar-“As Good As It Gets”)/former TV actress (4 Emmys-“Mad About You” 1995-1999)

1964 [41] Courteney Cox Arquette, Birmingham AL, ex-TV actress (‘Monica’ on “Friends” 1994-2004)/movie actress (“Scream I-III”)/Mrs David Arquette since 1999 (1 child)

1966 [39] Michael Britt, Fort Worth TX, country singer (Lonestar-“You’re Like Comin’ Home”, “Amazed”)

1969 [36] Ice Cube (O’Shea Jackson), LA CA, movie actor (“xXx: State of the Union”, “Barbershop 1 & 2″)

1970 [35] Leah Remini, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (‘Carrie Heffernan on “King of Queens” since 1998)

1981 [24] Billy Martin, Naptown MD, rock guitarist (Good Charlotte-“I Just Wanna Live”, “Girls &  Boys”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is –
• “Fly A Kite Day”, honoring Ben Franklin’s kite experiment in 1752.
• “Smile Power Day”, recognizing the second-best thing you can do with your lips.
• “St Vitus Day”, honoring the patron saint of comedians, actors and dancers.

THIS WEEK is “National Public Service Week” in Canada, to recognize ‘the many ways in which the members of Canada’s federal public service contribute to the quality of life we enjoy’. (Huh?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1994 [11] Disney’s “The Lion King” opens in movie theaters (earns $784 million worldwide)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1956 [49] 15-year-old John Lennon meets 13-year-old Paul McCartney (Beatles ensue)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1847 [158] US-Canada border established (first illegal handguns are smuggled north; first illegal immigrants are smuggled south)

2004 [01] Detroit Pistons humiliate LA Lakers 100-87 in Game 5 of the NBA Finals for their 1st championship in 14 years

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1974 [31] Baltimore Oriole Don Baylor sets Major League Baseball record by getting caught stealing a base twice … in the same inning

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Eat Your Vegetables Day
[Fri] Work@Home Father’s Day
[Sat] International Panic Day
[Sat] Splurge Day
[Sun] Fathers Day
[Tues] Summer begins
This Week Is . . . Nursing Assistants Week
This Month Is . . . International Men’s Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS HEADLINES:

Some of the real headlines were bogus enough, but these definitely did NOT appear in newspapers YESTERDAY …
• “Jackson Free to Address Troubling Back Pain”
• “Beat It: Jacko Not Guilty!”
• “Billie Jean Not His Lover: Innocent!”
• “Jacko May Be Whacko, But Still Not Guilty!”
• “Moonwalking a Free Man”
• “MJ and OJ: Together at Last!”
• “Jackson Gets Off – Again!”
– “Gawker”

BS ‘5 IN 10 GAME’:
Your phone contestant has 10 seconds to name 5 of each of the following …
5 TV reality shows.
5 schoolyard games.
5 non-fattening foods.
5 things you drink through a straw.
5 prestigious universities.
Add up their total score to determine the prize.

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• If you had to give your dad a label, what would it be? ‘Mr Fix It’? ‘Mr Golfer’? ‘Mr Boater’? ‘Mr Beer Belly Barely Covered by an Undershirt’?
• The difference between real diamonds and so-called ‘manufactured diamonds’ is undetectable to the human eye. In fact, the only way to tell the difference is with a special machine. So is a much-cheaper manufactured diamond engagement ring okay … or just miserly?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Twice as many men as women were caught doing THIS last year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Speeding. (“Men’s Health”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.

 


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