Monday, June 13, 2005        Edition: #3054
New Improved BS – Now With More Sheet & Less Bull!

BS WEEKEND GOSSIP:
• Russell Crowe’s phone-throwing tantrum in NYC cost him a dinner date with President George W Bush and a sleepover at the White House. The hellraiser had been invited to host a private screening of his new film “Cinderella Man” but after his antics at the Mercer Hotel White House officials quickly called to cancel the engagement. (“Sunday Mail”)
• It seems the previous bauble that Britney Spears picked out and bought for herself LAST YEAR just wasn’t big enough, so hubby Kevin Federline is giving her a new engagement ring with a 5.5 carat, round-cut diamond on a platinum band. Now where the hell does this guy come up with that kinda moolah? (“E! Online”)
• Hit me baby 3 more times? NBC-TV is adding at least 1 and perhaps 3 more episodes to its summer reality success “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. There’s no word on what bands will be added to the roster of one-hit wonders, but THIS WEEK’s show will feature Cameo, Howard Jones, Irene Cara, Sophie B Hawkins & Wang Chung. (“Chicago Tribune”)
• “War of the Worlds” star Tom Cruise says girlfriend Katie Holmes ‘digs’ the Church of Scientology. “People are curious about it,” he claims. “They’re always asking me about it, they want to know what Scientology is.” Perhaps not Penelope Cruz or Nicole Kidman though, huh Tom? (“Entertainment Weekly”)
• Some enterprising weasel is offering “Celebrity Air” for bid on eBay, a jar of stale air that may contain molecules possibly breathed by Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie. It was purportedly captured in ‘close proximity’ to the glittering duo at the “Mr & Mrs Smith” movie premiere, a claim that’s just wacky enough to inspire celebrity-obsessed consumer lemmings to drive the bidding over $15,000. (“Edmonton Sun”)
• Jennifer Lopez & hubby Marc Anthony have been trying for a baby ever since getting married and an insider says there have been whispers she’s finally expecting. And you know what a picture is worth … recent photos show J-Lo positively glowing and looking curvier than ever. (“Star Magazine”)
• When Motley Crue produces its story from their book, “The Dirt”, Tommy Lee knows exactly who he wants to play him in the film – he thinks Johnny Depp would be perfect in the role. (“National Enquirer”)
• Actor Adam Brody, who plays ‘Seth’ on “The OC”, is offering $100 to whoever finds a TV ad he did for a zit cream. The 25-year-old performed both ‘before’ and ‘after’ roles in the ad while still a struggling actor but he’s never seen it. (Worldwide Entertainment News)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alanis Morissette – TODAY, exactly 10 years to the day after the original release, an all-acoustic version of her monster hit album “Jagged Little Pill” (30 million copies worldwide) goes on sale exclusively at Starbucks’ 4,500 North American outlets for a 6-week period. Traditional music retailers are PO-ed they don’t get to sell it until JULY 26th.
• Black Eyed Peas – TONIGHT they do “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Brooks & Dunn – They’ll again host the “CMA Awards”, NOVEMBER 15th in New York City.
• Carrie Underwood – The “American Idol 4″ winner hopes to release a country album later THIS YEAR.
• Foo Fighters – TONIGHT they’re on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Madonna – She wants to open a Kabbalah hotel and drop-in center in a $3-million Georgian mansion she recently purchased in London. The neighbors are not happy. Meantime, she tells “The Sun” the key to her happy 5-year marriage is putting her husband first.
• Natasha Bedingfield – “These Words” has already been a top hit in a dozen countries. She’s set a “Guinness World Record” with her brother Daniel (“Gotta Get Thru This”) as the only brother and sister to have separate #1 solo hits in the UK.
• Queens of the Stone Age – Frontman Josh Homme has been sentenced to 60 days in rehab & 3 years probation after pleading no contest to misdemeanor battery over an attack on Dwarves singer Blag Dahlia last NOVEMBER.
• Rihanna (Fenty) – The 17-year-old “Pon De Replay” singer was born in Barbados where she was discovered by producer Evan Rogers (Christina Aguilera, *NSYNC, Jessica Simpson, etc) during a Christmas 2003 visit. THIS YEAR she moved to the US to concentrate on her musical career. Her first album, “Music of the Sun”, will be released AUGUST 16th.

PREPOSTEROUS PROPOSALS:
Etiquette maven Annie Cater says women used to compare engagement rings but now they compare – unusual proposal stories. In fact, pressure to create these stories is driving men to make ever-more-elaborate marriage proposals. These days, guys are popping the question on sports venue JumboTrons, on airplane banners, and in fortune cookies. It’s getting difficult to  be original. Thank goodness there’s a Website offering a database of creative proposal ideas … for a fee.
– “Houston Chronicle”
NET: http://www.2propose.com

“WEEKLY WORLD NEWS” HEADLINES:
• “US Military Has Team of ‘Underground Submarines’ Stalking Iran!”
• “Fat Teen Fights off Gator With Her Bare Hands!”
• “Outsource Your Own Job, Then Goof Off All Day & Still Get Paid!”
• “Teens Sniffing Human Ashes to Get High!”
• “Gal With 36-Inch-long Fingernails Kills Herself – While Picking Her Nose!”

WHAT’S SHE THINKING NOW?
Women have always said that men are emotionally clueless – and it just may be true! New research on facial recognition at St Andrews University in Scotland concludes that the male brain does NOT, in fact, pick up on facial expressions showing how his partner feels. When shown pictures of female faces during experiments, male subjects could only identify the most obvious cases of sadness, surprise, fear, disgust and anger. In general, men are particularly insensitive to picking up on anger and disgust.
– “The Independent on Sunday”

WHAT YOUR RINGTONE SAYS ABOUT YOU:
• If your phone plays a classic rock tune, you’re showing your age but you do get points for figuring out how to change the ringer … Gramps.
• If your phone is still playing “Jingle Bell Rock” in JUNE, you’re not going to impress people with your productivity.
• If your ringtone is a current hip-hop hit, you’re young at heart but you’re not particularly original. Hip-hop ringtones have accounted for more than half the $300-million market in the past year.
• If your phone plays the sound of an old mechanical phone bell, you’re not as funny as you think you are.
• If your phone plays the theme song to a TV show, you’re not going to impress anyone with your intellectual acumen. Perhaps a Mozart or Beethoven ringer would do some damage control?
• If your phone never leaves ‘vibrate’ or ‘silent’ mode, you may be the kind of important person who can’t afford to waste time answering a phone call right now. Or maybe you just think you’re that important. However, you may also be considerate and respectful, the kind of person we’d like sitting behind us in a movie theater.
– “The Age”

‘SUICIDE’ CAN KILL YOUR PC:
The latest computer virus doing the rounds is an e-mail titled “The News from Neverland Ranch”, displaying information about a fictitious ‘suicidal attempt by Michael Jackson’. When the user clicks on the ‘Read More’ button to get details, the computer hangs while malicious software is installed.
– ANI / “E!”

BS AMAZING FACT:
 Your skin accounts for 16% of your body weight.

THE BULL SHEET 06.13.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [70] Christo [Javacheff], Gabrovo, Bulgaria, environmental artist (“The Gates”, Central Park NYC 2005)/husband & collaborator of Jeanne-Claude

1953 [52] Tim Allen (Dick), Denver CO, movie actor (“Toy Story 1 & 2″, “The Santa Clause 1 & 2″)/TV sitcom actor (“Home Improvement” 1991-99)  COMING UP: “Father Knows Best” (2005), “The Santa Clause 3″ (2006), “Zoom” (2006), “The Shaggy Dog” (2006) &  “In the Pink” (2007).

1963 [42] Paul DeLisle, Ottawa ON, pop bassist (Smash Mouth-“All Star”, “Walkin’ on the Sun”)

1970 [35] Rivers Cuomo, Yogaville CT, rock singer/guitarist (Weezer-“Beverly Hills”, “Buddy Holly”)

1985 [20] Raz B (De’mario Monte Thornton), Cleveland OH, R&B singer (B2K-“Uh Huh”, “Bump Bump Bump”)

1986 [19] Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Sherman Oaks CA, multimillionaire twins who began acting at 6 months of age (TV’s “Full House” 1987-95)  FACTOID: They’re #3 on VH1′s new list of ‘Top 100 Child Stars’, behind Gary Coleman (“Diff’rent Strokes”) & Macaulay Culkin (“Home Alone”).

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “St Anthony of Padua Day” (D-1231) in Portugal. According to an old Portuguese tradition, on this day a maiden can learn the identity of her future husband by filling her mouth with water and keeping it there until she hears a man’s name. (Then she has to decide whether to spit or swallow.)

TONIGHT Steven Spielberg’s “War of the Worlds” starring Tom Cruise holds its world premiere in Tokyo, Japan at the Virgin Cinemas Roppongi Hills, a hi-tech 9-screen cinema complex that’s home to Japan’s largest screen and state-of-the-art sound technology.

TOMORROW through Thursday is the annual “All Candy Expo” in Chicago IL, the largest confectionery show in North America which showcases new and unusual products. Some of this year’s new treats that will soon be going on the market …
• ‘Abba-Zaba Sour Apple’ (sour apple-flavored taffy filled with peanut butter)
• ‘XLR8 Energy Chews’ (cherry flavored energy-boosters loaded with taurine, guarana, ginseng, caffeine & vitamin B)
• ‘ABC Bubble Gum’ (stands for ‘Already Been Chewed’ … not really, but it looks like it!)
• ‘Triple Twist Pretzel’ (a pretzel covered in peanut butter, then drenched in chocolate)
• ‘Arctic Blast’ (a cool explosion of peppermint flavor loaded with 16 mg of caffeine)
• ‘Caring Candies’ (sugar-free ‘healthy candy’ with no artificial ingredients)
• ‘Country Fresh Gourmet Fudge’ (in Jim Beam, Kahl’ua, Malibu & Tia Maria flavors)
PHONER: 703.790.5750 (Susan Fussell, National Confectioners Association, Vienna VA)
NET: http://www.allcandyexpo.com

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1825 [180] 1st ‘Safety Pin’ patented by Walter Hunt, who later sells rights for a lousy $400

1898 [107] ‘Yukon Territory’ is organized

1966 [39] US Supreme Court’s ‘Miranda Decision’, requiring police to inform criminal suspects of their constitutional rights BEFORE interrogation (“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.”)

1993 [12] Federal Progressive Conservatives choose Kim Campbell as leader, making her 1st female PC leader, 1st female PM, and 1st PC to be PM without being elected

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [13] World’s ‘Smallest Recorded Baby’ is born (measures just 6 inches and weighs only 11 ounces)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Family History Day
[Wed] Smile Power Day
[Wed] “Batman Begins” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Eat Your Vegetables Day
[Fri] International Violin Day
[Fri] “The Perfect Man” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] Splurge Day
[Sun] Fathers Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
American Flag Week
Men’s Health Week
Grasslands Week
Physical Therapy Week
Amateur Radio Week
Hermit Week
Families in Business Week
Meet A Mate Week
Tennis Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
“STAR WARS” CHARACTER OR HIP-HOP ARTIST?
• Droopy McCool [“Star Wars”]
• Fredro Starr [Hip-Hop]
• Boss Nass [“Star Wars”]
• Obie Trice [Hip-Hop]
• Sly Moore [“Star Wars”]
• Talib Kweli [Hip-Hop]
• Mawhonic [“Star Wars”]
• Phoenix Orion [Hip-Hop]
• Jasper McKnives [“Star Wars”]
• Sly Boogy [Hip-Hop]
• Anchor Blue [“Star Wars”]
• Mabulu [Hip-Hop]
• Joh Yowza [“Star Wars”]
• Ygryega [Hip-Hop]
• Kit Fisto [“Star Wars”]
• Mangu [Hip-Hop]
• Rappertunie [“Star Wars”]
• Queen Izrina [“Star Wars”]
• Sa Razza [Hip-Hop]
• Luke Skyywalker [Hip-Hop. The “Star Wars” character is ‘Luke Skywalker’.]
– “BB Spot”

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Who do you think poor lonely little Jennifer Aniston should hook up with next? George Clooney? Vince Vaughn? Tommy Lee?
• If you could have the body of someone from history or alive today and keep your own brain, whose body would you chose?

BS BLATANT JOKE:
And now today’s ‘Ouija Board Weather’ … H … O … T.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Men who do THIS every morning earn more … and live longer!
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Kiss their partner. (Discovery Channel)

BS DEEP THOUGHTS:
When you try to make an impression, chances are that’s exactly the impression you will make.

 


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