Monday, June 6, 2005        Edition: #3049
Get Your Sheet Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!

BS LOOK AT THE WEEKEND TABLOIDS:
• SATURDAY in LA, actress Rachel McAdams picked up 3 “MTV Movie Awards” – ‘Best Breakthrough Female Performance” (“Mean Girls”), ‘Best Kiss’ (“The Notebook”) and ‘Best On-Screen Team’ (“Mean Girls”). “Napoleon Dynamite” won ‘Best Film’, Leonardo DiCaprio ‘Best Male Actor’ (“The Aviator”) Lindsay Lohan ‘Best Female Actor’ (“Mean Girls”) and Dustin Hoffman got ‘Best Comedic Performance’ (“Meet the Fockers”). The first ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ was presented to Tom Cruise … by Katie Holmes. (ABC News / BBC News)
• It seems Katie Holmes will NOT portray Andy Warhol protegé Edie Sedgwick in the new movie “Factory Girl” after all, because – Tom Cruise thinks it would be bad for her image. Sedgwick was in and out of mental institutions and on all sorts of psychotropic drugs and avid Scientologist Cruise has made his aversion to both psychiatrists and depression medication well known of late. (“New York Post”)
• Wow, an “American Idol” rumor that doesn’t involve Paula Abdul! 22- year-old “Idol” winner Carrie Underwood was reportedly caught up in a ‘love triangle’ with fellow finalists Bo Bice & Anthony Fedorov in the middle of the competition, right after she unceremoniously dumped her Tahlequah OK college sweetheart, Drake Clark. (“National Enquirer”)
• Ellen DeGeneres and her actress/lover Portia de Rossi are setting up house in Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston’s old Beverly Hills estate. Ellen recently finalized the purchase of the Normandy-style mansion, the former Hollywood couple’s dream home before they separated earlier THIS YEAR. (“Star Magazine”)
• Here are some more tiny candidates for future therapy – Poison rocker Bret Michaels & his girlfriend Kristi Gibson have named their new baby daughter ‘Jorja Bleu’. Not to be outdone, comic magician Penn Jillette & his wife are naming their baby girl born FRIDAY – we kid you not – ‘Moxie CrimeFighter’. (“E! Online” / “Daily Dish”)
• MBC, the Middle East Broadcasting Company, spent a fortune THIS YEAR making “Al-Akh Al-Akhbar” (“Big Brother Arabia”) in Bahrain but it only lasted for – 1 broadcast! Protests from Islamic clerics (“Stop ‘Sin Brother’! No to indecency!”) took it off the air. MBC is hoping to salvage some of the lost money with a new production idea: putting a group of women with mental health issues into the ‘Big Brother House’ which, apparently, is all right. (PopBitch.com)
• TONIGHT the Council of Fashion Designers of America hosts its annual fashion awards for the industry. Among the winners – 31-year-old Brit model Kate Moss, who’s being honored for her ‘fashion influence’. (“Daily News”)
• 20-year-old Kelly Osbourne has checked into a Pasadena CA drug treatment center. She previously spent time in rehab LAST YEAR for an addiction to prescription painkillers. (“Us Weekly”)
• Actress Cameron Diaz is suing “The National Enquirer” for $30 million, alleging the tabloid libeled her in a story that claimed she cheated on boyfriend Justin Timberlake by kissing another man. (“USA Today”)
• Although unconfirmed, it’s been reported that a “Live 8″ concert JULY 2 on Parliament Hill in Ottawa might include Bryan Adams, Barenaked Ladies, Jann Arden & Our Lady Peace. So far, the official “Live 8″ Website makes no mention of an Ottawa gig. (“Ottawa Sun”)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Black Eyed Peas – TONIGHT they’re on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Bowling For Soup – TONIGHT they appear on NBC-TV’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”.
• Britney Spears – She blabs to “People” magazine that she’s having the best sex of her life now that she’s pregnant.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin wants Spice Girls to perform at “Live 8″. “They were a phenomenon,” he says. “They should get back together and do it.”
• Jennifer Lopez – YESTERDAY was her 1st wedding anniversary with Marc Anthony. If it lasts just 1 more week, it will be the longest of her 3 marriages so far!
• Keith Urban – TONIGHT he does the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Madonna – She’s signed a $9.5-million deal to launch a perfume to coincide with the release of her new album “Defying Gravity”. They’ll hit stores simultaneously this NOVEMBER.
• Motley Crue – While leaving Germany for Britain, heavily-pierced Tommy Lee further increased his problems in passing airport security by wearing clothing covered with zips and safety pins. He came up with a quick solution: climbing onto the conveyer belt and having himself X-rayed!
• Rod Stewart – He’s finally filed for divorce from model Rachel Hunter, from whom he’s been separated since 1999. The motivation? Pregnant girlfriend Penny Lancaster, no doubt.
• Rush – Guitarist Alex Lifeson is suing the Naples FL Ritz-Carlton hotel and 3 sheriff’s deputies for causing him ‘severe discomfort and pain’ after that 2003 New Year’s Eve brawl.
• White Stripes – A few details on Jack White’s wedding to model girlfriend Karen Elson. They said ‘I do’ in a canoe on the Amazon in Brazil. His drummer & ex-wife Meg White was maid of honor. Word is, it was a spur of the moment thing.

CHICKEN COUTURE OR FOWL FASHION?
Austrian Edgar Honetschlaeger has co-operated with Japanese designers to come up with a line of fashion clothing – for chickens! The chicken suits debuted at the Austrian pavilion of the World Exhibition in Nagoya, Japan where 20 chickens paraded on a catwalk while Mozart music played in the background. The poultry fashion show is now touring the world with exhibitions planned for Tokyo, Paris, Mexico City and Vienna. (Will you pay to see a chicken in pants?)
– Ananova

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON CHIPS:
Ian Pearson, head of the futurology department at British Telecom, predicts that by 2050 we will become virtually immortal by downloading the entire contents of our brains onto a supercomputer. The super-wealthy may be first to keep their brains on a chip, but he says it will become commonplace for everyone – so that when you die, it won’t create a major ‘career problem’. (Like telling your replacement where in your desk you keep the staples?)
– “The Observer”

SON OF IPOD – IT’S ‘VPOD’:
Tokyo-based Scalar Corp has developed a new miniature display gadget called the ‘Teleglass’ which attaches to an ordinary pair of eyeglasses to allow the wearer to watch DVDs or read a computer screen through one eye while on the go. Scalar has already approached Apple Computer with the idea of marrying Teleglass with a portable MP4 movie player to create the next electronic must-have gizmo. Despite its small size, the wearer actually sees an image equivalent to watching a 14-inch screen from a distance of 3 feet. And it seems we easily get used to viewing an image through one eye as the brain quickly learns how to block out the other eye. (Imagine how much worse driving will get with this baby on the market!)
– “Daily News”  

BENEDICT BARBIE:
A doll in honor of the new Pope has gone on sale in Germany. The 16-inch collectable version of 78-year-old Pope Benedict XVI costs circa $170. It has movable parts for emulating the Pope’s wave and even wears the full papal apparel. Better hurry through – only 999 of the limited-edition mini-popes will be offered by toymaker Schildkroet. If the child-like papal figure is a little too unsettling, there’s also a cute pope teddy bear alternative for those looking for cuddly Catholicism. However, the plush pope will set the faithful back close to $200. (Holy water extra.)
– “Deutsche Welle”

DOES WALKING TO THE FRIDGE COUNT?
UK inventors have created a sneaker which keeps track of how many steps you take during the day and then rations out TV screen-time based on how much energy you expended. The shoes called ‘Square Eyes’ pass collected data on to a TV governor, which shuts the set off automatically after your earned time is up. Based on health recommendations that say a child should take 12,000 steps a day and watch no more than 2 hours of TV, the shoe is programed to dole out exactly 1 minute of tube-time for every 100 steps taken. (What if you’re playing basketball and you run backwards?)
– “New Scientist”

FOR THE RECORD:
A Nepalese couple has become the first in the world to get hitched atop Mount Everest. Moni Mulepati wed Pem Dorje Sherpa after reaching the summit from the Nepal side.
– Xinhua News Agency

AND WE QUOTE:
“Plastic surgery is 21st-Century haute couture.”
– Fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld.

THE BULL SHEET 06.06.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [51] Harvey Fierstein, Brooklyn NY, playwright/Broadway actor with 3 Tony Awards (“Hairspray”)/movie actor (“Mrs Doubtfire”)

1967 [38] Paul Giamatti, NYC, movie actor (“Cinderella Man”, “Sideways”)

1970 [35] James ‘Munky’ Shaffer, Rosedale CA, rock guitarist (Korn-“Here To Stay”)

1973 [32] Lisa Brokop, Surrey BC, country singer (“I’d Like to See You Try”, “Take That”)

1974 [31] Uncle Kracker (Matt Shafer), Mount Clemens MI, pop singer (f/Dobie Gray-“Drift Away”, “Follow Me”)/sometime DJ for Kid Rock

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Couple Appreciation Day”. So which celebrity couple is cutest – Tim McGraw & Faith Hill? Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie? Kenny Chesney & Renée Zellweger? Pam Anderson?

THIS WEEK is “Headache Awareness Week”. Studies show 93% of us suffer from headaches at one time or another. Ancient headache remedies have included draping reptile skins over the head, wearing the head of a dead vulture around the neck, rubbing the forehead with a live toad, and drinking tonics made of cow manure, powdered flies and beaver sex organs.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1933 [72] 1st ‘Drive-In Theater’ opens, in Camden NJ (25¢ per person or $1-a-car to see “Wife Beware” (1st drive-in theatre in Canada opens in Hamilton ON in 1946)

1978 [27] 1st edition of “20/20″ news magazine on ABC-TV (a behind-the-scenes exposé accusing Paula Abdul of sleeping with the cast of “Little House on the Prairie”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1844 [161] 1st ‘YMCA’ founded by George Williams in London UK (“It’s fun to play at the …”)

1882 [123] 1st ‘Electric Iron’ (and the 1st white blouse ends up with a big brown splotch on it)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Hunger Awareness Day
[Tues] Chocolate Ice Cream Day
[Tues] Attitude Day
[Tues] Family Day
[Wed] Name Your Poison Day
[Thurs] CMA Music Festival begins
[Thurs] Nursing Assistants Day
[Fri] Take a Kid Fishing Weekend
[Fri] “Mr & Mrs Smith”, “The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl in 3-D” & “The Honeymooners” open in movie theaters

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Brain Tumor Awareness Week
Graffiti Week
Carp Week
Clay Week
Fraternal Week
Therapeutic Recreation Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS SONGS THAT CAN TURN YOU GAY:

Citing the writings of (likely fictitious) psychologist Dr Todd Snider, author of the upcoming book “Don’t Let Music Turn You Gay”, “Weekly World News” claims the more times you hear these tunes, the gayer you become …
• “YMCA”, Village People
• “I’m Coming Out”, Diana Ross
• “Constant Craving”, kd lang
• “Over the Rainbow”, Judy Garland
• “I’m Too Sexy”, Right Said Fred
• “Dancing Queen”, Abba
• “Believe”, Cher
• “Relax”, Frankie Goes to Hollywood
• “That’s the Way I Like It”, KC & the Sunshine Band
• “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go”, Wham

BS WEB GOODIE:
You can anoint yourself with an official-sounding title at the online ‘Random Title Generator’. Imagine being known as ‘Tsar of Sticking Your Head & Arms Out the Window’ or ‘Duke of Sleeping In’. You’ll be rubbing elbows with the muck-a-mucks in no time!
NET: http://title.flywheel.org

BS ‘FIND THE FAKE’:
Some of the following are actual tabloid headlines, some are total BS fakes. Which is which?
• “Third Gender Discovered in Ozarks!”
• “Man Electrocuted by Lightning Bug!”
• “Siamese Twins Come to Blows Over Father’s Will!” [BS]
• “Scientist Invents ‘Reverse Lightbulb’ That Makes Room Darker!”
• “Man Explodes While Trying to Suppress Belch!” [BS]
• “Circus Elephant Gives Birth to Human Baby!”
• “Colony of Super-Evolved Microbes Has Tiny Kingdom in Ted Kennedy’s Butt!”
• “Seeing Eye Squirrels for Dogs!”
• “Aliens Prefer Their Humans Barbecued!” [BS]
• “Study Finds Most Studies Are Stupid!”

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• If you could have a secret camera in any room in the world, what room would you put it in?
• What’s the best kind of movie to take in on a first date? Romantic comedy? Thriller? Documentary?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 72% of women are actually flattered when a man does THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Catcalls. (“Glamour”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the Earth.

WHAT DO ALL THESE CMW HONOREES HAVE IN COMMON?
• 2003 On-Air Talent of the Year – Roger, Rick, and Marilyn, CHUM-FM Toronto
• 2004 On-Air Talent of the Year – Gerry Forbes ‚ CJAY92 Calgary
• 2004 Country Station of the Year Nominee – KICX 104, Midland ON
• 2004 Rock Station of the Year Nominee – 106.9 The Bear, Ottawa
• 2005 On-Air Talent of the Year Nominee – BJ & The Q Morning Crew, Q104 Halifax
• 2005 CHR Station of the Year Nominee – 94.5 The Beat, Vancouver
• 2005 AC Station of the Year – CHUM-FM Toronto
• 2005 Rock Station of the Year Nominee – Power 97 Winnipeg
They’re all a bunch of “BS”ers!

NEW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
A tip of Da Bull’s horns to Les Askelson @ KVIK [K-Viking Gold] Decorah IA, who’s back for another full year of “BS” (his 11th!); and we welcome samplers this week that include Michelle Palmer @ CKHC [Radio Humber] Toronto, Canada; Hector Vallejo @ WXYX [La X] Bayamon PR; Hannah Simpson @ WXPN [88.5 XPN] Philadelphia PA; Dustin Collins @ CKXL [EZ Rock] Penticton, Canada; and Alesha Phillips @ WDXB [The Bull] Birmingham AL. Remember BSers, we give you ONE MONTH FREE service for each and every new subscriber you refer!

 


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