Wednesday, June 1, 2005        Edition: #3046
You Really Know Your Sheet!

TODAY openly gay “Amazing Race 7″ contestants Lynn Warren & Alex Ali are scheduled to wed in Ottawa (fellow contestants Rob & Amber Mariano are invited and Rosie O’Donnell has gifted them with a cruise honeymoon) . . . Appropriately TONIGHT “My Fabulous Gay Wedding” debuts on Global-TV, with Scott Thompson (“Kids in the Hall”) playing the ‘wedding fairy’ who has just 2 weeks to make the wedding dreams of a gay couple come true (if this aired in the US, all hell would break loose as proven here – . . . TONIGHT ABC-TV’s new reality series “Dancing With the Stars” debuts, in which semi-celebs (“The Bachelorette” Trista Sutter, model Rachel Hunter, former heavyweight champ Evander Holyfield, etc) are paired with professional partners to compete in ballroom dancing (believe it or note, this concept was a big hit in Britain!) . . . TONIGHT Ashton Kutcher’s new reality series “Beauty & the Geek” debuts on the WB, in which beautiful, brainless women are paired up with socially-inept nerds to compete in intellectual & social skills such as spelling bees and dance-offs (this makes “Punk’d” seem Emmy-worthy) . . . The 1995 hit “Wonderwall” by Oasis has been named the ‘Best All-Time British Song’ in a new poll by Virgin Radio . . . “People” magazine reports that Paris Hilton (24) is now officially engaged to her 5-month boyfriend, Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis (22) . . . According to the “Hollywood Reporter”, the 2004-05 TV season’s most-watched show was FOX’s “American Idol” and the least-watched – the WB’s “Big Man on Campus”.

• Bo Bice – THIS MORNING the “American Idol” runner-up is on “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• Bryan Adams & Def Leppard – TONIGHT this odd double bill kicks off the “Rock ‘n Roll Doubleheader Tour” of 26 minor league baseball parks in Portland OR.
• Dave Matthews Band – TONIGHT they launch their summer tour in the Chicago suburb of Tinley Park IL.
• The Eagles – TONIGHT their 2-hour “Farewell Tour” special airs on NBC-TV.
• Willie Nelson – He’ll release his long-percolating reggae album “Countryman” in JULY. He’s already shot a video in Jamaica for a cover of Jimmy Cliff’s reggae classic “The Harder They Come”. He started work on the album in 1995, then shelved the idea for several years.

“The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” (PG Teen Comedy): A coming-of-age story about 4 lifelong friends who are about to be separated for the first time. In order to keep in touch over the summer, they purchase a pair of thrift-store pants that each will wear for a week before sending them along for the next one to wear. The buzz is this could be the breakthrough film for actress Amber Tamblyn (“Joan of Arcadia”). Alexis Bledel (“Gilmore Girls”) and Bradley Whitford (“The West Wing”) co-star. Partially filmed in Vancouver.

New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Blink Technology’ – A soon-to-debut purchasing system in which consumers use ‘Contactless Credit Cards’ by simply passing them in front of special readers attached to cash registers. To speed things up even more, a signature may not be required. (And you think your credit card balance is high now?)
• ‘The Catkins Diet’ – A new high-protein diet recommended for diabetic cats which can replace daily insulin shots. Feline diabetes is similar to Type 2 diabetes in humans and occurs most often in obese male cats. (Also similar to humans.)
• ‘Travel Pursuit‘ – A weird new travel pastime whereby you secretly follow friends on their vacation and take lots of pics of them with a telephoto lens, then surprise them with a slide show afterward. An idea hatched by Joel Henry, French founder of the ‘Laboratory of Experimental Tourism’ (‘Latourex’). He has several others here …

Newly-crowned “Miss Universe”, 5′-10″, 23-year-old Natalie Glebova of Toronto beat 48 other contestants to represent Canada, then 81 other contestants for the international title. The “Miss Universe Canada 2005″ event in January wasn’t even televised, showing how unpopular pageants are in this country. She was born in Russia, then moved with her family to Canada 10 years ago. She says her dream job is to be a Director of Marketing for a big firm. She was crowned “Miss Universe” in the 54th annual pageant held TUESDAY in Bangkok. Karen Baldwin of London ON was the only other Canadian to win the contest, in 1982.
– “Critical Beauty”

As announced YESTERDAY, here are the acts confirmed so far for JULY 2 concert events at 5 venues in the USA and Europe …
• London: Original “Live Aid” performers Paul McCartney, U2, Sting, Rolling Stones & Madonna, as well as Elton John, Coldplay, Prince, Keane, REM, Dido, Scissor Sisters & Joss Stone.
• Philadelphia: Stevie Wonder, Will Smith, Bon Jovi, Dave Matthews Band & P Diddy.
• Berlin: Crosby, Stills & Nash, Lauryn Hill, A-Ha & Brian Wilson.
• Paris: Youssou N’Dour, Jamiroquai & Placebo.
• Rome: Andrea Bocelli, Faith Hill & Duran Duran.
“Live 8″ is named for the “G-8 Summit”, taking place this year in Scotland. There are plans for concerts in the remaining G-8 countries – Canada, Japan and Russia – but organizers haven’t yet given details.
– CBC Arts

It’s been discovered that those in typically male occupations such as accounting or engineering tend toward higher odds of having a male child, while those in typically female careers such as nursing or teaching have a greater tendency to produce a female child. In both cases, it isn’t one of those infinitesimally small fractions stoked up for a study, but a ratio of 1.4 to 1 or almost one-and-a-half times as likely. The conclusion comes from a survey of 3,000 people from various professions by the London School of Economics. (What we wanna know is since when is teaching a ‘female-oriented’ career?)
– Agence France Presse

The Vatican is asking people to submit evidence in favor or against the late Pope John Paul II becoming a saint. Pope Benedict XVI has already waived the required 5-year waiting period required for the sainthood process, but the Roman Catholic Church requires notice of 2 miracles committed by John Paul II SINCE HIS DEATH in order to award him sainthood. (Well let’s see, it’s a miracle they waited this long to announce this idea …)
– BBC News

Women should fall in love with heavy men because they are more likely to be faithful lovers than their thin, svelte friends. That’s the word from German market research group Forsa, which concludes that men who are of average weight are twice as likely to be unfaithful as heavy men. (And besides, there’s just so much more to love.)

A lawsuit against a suburban school district in Chicago has finally gone to trial 6 years after a 12-year-old girl choked to death while stuffing her mouth with marshmallows as part of a classroom game. A lawyer for the girl’s family is arguing that lack of supervision led to the 6th-
Grader’s death. It seems the teacher left the room while several pupils started playing ‘Chubby Bunny’, a race to stuff as many marshmallows in their mouths as possible and still say the words ‘chubby bunny’ 3 times. The girl choked on 4 marshmallows, collapsed, and died at a hospital a few hours later. (Well, so much for that on-air contest.)
– AP

The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances that you’ll have a bad dream.

“This is the Cable News Network. We will broadcast news 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until the end of the Earth … which we will cover live.”  – Media mogul Ted Turner when signing on his innovative new TV news network, CNN, 25 years ago TODAY (1980).


1937 [68] Morgan Freeman, Memphis TN, movie actor (Academy Award-“Million Dollar Baby”)  UP NEXT: Plays ‘Lucius Fox’ in “Batman Begins”, opening JUNE 15th.

1947 [58] Ron Wood, Hillingdon UK, rock guitarist (Rolling Stones since 1975)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)  FACTOID: The Stones’ “Onstage World Tour” launches AUGUST 21st at Boston’s Fenway Park.

1953 [52] Ronnie Dunn, Coleman TX, country singer/guitarist (Brooks & Dunn-“Play Something Country”)

1969 [36] Teri Polo, Dover DE, movie actress (‘Pam Byrnes’ in “Meet the Fockers” & “Meet the Parents”)

1973 [32] Heidi Klum [pronounced ‘kloom’], Bergisch-Gladbach, Germany, fashion model who wed singer Seal on May 10, 2005  FACTOID: Expecting another child in mid-JULY.

1974 [31] Alanis Morissette, Ottawa ON, pop singer whose “Jagged Little Pill” album sold close to 30 million copies worldwide

TODAY & tomorrow the finals of the 78th annual “National Spelling Bee” are on in Washington DC. Believe it or not, it’s one of the highest rated programs annually on – ESPN! Among this year’s contestants is 12-year-old Charlotte Roose of New Zealand who’s hoping that will understand her accent. Another problem for her is that a lot of words are pronounced and spelled differently in NZ compared to the US. For instance, they say ‘zed’ instead of ‘zee’.

TODAY is “Early Bird Day”, a day to get up bright and early … if you like worms.

TODAY is “Healthcare Executives Appreciation Day”, honoring the people who make HUGE salaries off our illnesses.

TODAY is “New Year’s Resolution Recommitment Day”, a chance to revisit all those promises you made to yourself New Year’s Day and then promptly forgot by January 3rd.

TODAY is “Flip a Coin Day”, honoring the decision-making practice begun by none other than Julius Caesar (who was the ‘head’ on the head’s side). The coin flip was used in serious litigation involving property, marriage and even criminal guilt.

TODAY “Atlantic, Caribbean & Gulf Hurricane Season” begins and continues through November 30th. This year the US National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration is predicting a 70% probability of an above-normal hurricane season, with 12-15 tropical storms, 7-9 hurricanes and 3-5 major hurricanes. Hurricanes are named in order from alphabetical lists. Some of the following are actual scheduled names for 2005 storms, others are total BS. Run down the list while a contestant or studio guest guesses which are which …
• Wilma [REAL]
• Akon [BS]
• Gert [REAL]
• Katrina [REAL]
• Lance [BS]
• Nate [REAL]
• Oprah [BS]
• Tammy [REAL]
• Beyoncé [BS]
• Philippe [REAL]
• Vince [REAL]
• Paris [BS]

TODAY is the 10th annual “Stand For Children Day”, begun in 1996 as a nonprofit membership organization that helps people who care about children come together to advocate concrete, lasting changes that improve the lives of children.

THIS WEEK is “International Bathroom Reading Week”, to promote our favorite reading room as the ‘seat of learning’. So what reading material is available in your bathroom?

1938 [67] 1st ‘superhero’, “Superman”, is born on the pages of DC comics, created by Jerry Siegel and Toronto-born artist Joe Shuster

2000 [05] Dixie Chicks’ 5-month “Fly Tour” kicks off in Winnipeg MB

1495 [510] Friar John Cor distills 1st ever vat of ‘Scotch Whiskey’ (he comes up for air 6 times)

1835 [170] Kingston ON Penitentiary opens (no one’s ever called it ‘Club Fed’, it’s arguably Canada’s most daunting)

1909 [96] ‘Grey Cup’ donated to Canadian football, by Governor-General Lord Grey

1996 [09] Florida Panthers make it to Stanley Cup final in fewest seasons for any NHL expansion club (just 3)

1880 [125] 1st ‘Public Phone Booth’ installed, in New Haven CT

1938 [67] 1st ‘Baseball Helmets’ worn by batters (Springfield Greys vs House of David in NYC)

1908 [97] John Krohn decides to walk the perimeter of the USA — with his wheelbarrow (competes the 9,024-mile trek in 357 days, using 11 pairs of shoes, 112 pair of socks and 5 wheels for the wheelbarrow)

[Thurs] Rocky Road Ice Cream Day
[Thurs] Cancer Survivors Day
[Fri] Doughnut Day
[Fri] “Cinderella Man” & “Lords of Dogtown” open in theaters
[Sat] Old Maid’s Day
[Sun] 59th Tony Awards
[Sun] Canada’s Walk of Fame 2005 Induction
[Sun] Personal Computer Day
This Week Is . . . Canadian Safe Kids Week / Step-Parents Week
This Month Is . . . Fight the Filthy Fly Month (wash your jeans!)

JUNE is the month of weddings, so here’s a look at …
• As a topic of conversation, your mother’s beard is no longer off-limits.
• Can’t understand your concern that the wedding date conflicts with the NBA finals.
• Can’t seem to bring herself to say ‘wedding’ without throwing in ‘schmedding’.
• Engagement ring now being used as nose ring.

• The ‘Rehearsal Dinner Kegger’ would last all-night or until the cops show up.
• Bridesmaids would wear Daisy Dukes and belly shirts.
• Tuxes would come with sports team logos.
• Vows would mention ‘cooking’ and ‘sex’ specifically, but omit the ‘forsaking all others’ part.
• Invitations to the ‘Tailgate Reception’ would include the instruction ‘BYOB’.

This isn’t an office. It’s hell with fluorescent lighting.

Today’s Question: Based solely on THIS, the average stranger will form an impression of you and determine your intelligence within 3 seconds of meeting you.    
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your hairstyle. (“Marie Claire” magazine.)

Doing nothing makes you tired ’cause you can’t take a break.


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