Wednesday, June 30, 2004        Edition: #2812
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

A fire on the Australian set of the movie “House of Wax” has caused an estimated $10-million in damage and halted production (‘actress’ Paris Hilton missed it as she’d already finished shooting all her scenes) . . . Donald Trump’s new glossy, bimonthly magazine “Trump World” is set to hit newsstands in SEPTEMBER, reportedly targeted at both affluent readers and ‘regular’ folk (features a centerfold of his hair) . . . Christopher Backus, new husband of 36-year-old Oscar-winning actress Mira Sorvino, is her junior by 14 years (cradle robber!) . . . 30-year-old Brit model Kate Moss has been dumped from her $1.8-million deal with Chanel – for partying too much! . . . Actress Cameron Diaz reveals that her ‘new philosophy on clothes’ involves wearing the same outfit for 4 days in-a-row, then never wearing it again (phew!) . . . 32-year-old LA Laker Shaquille O’Neal has put his Beverly Hills mansion up for sale at $7.5 million, complete with elevator, built-in fish tanks, recording studio, movie theater and – of course – gym (moving on to another team, Shaq?)  . . . And wildman rocker Tommy Lee asked his sons Brandon & Dylan to write their names on his wrists, then had their signatures permanently tattooed into his skin.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Daniel Bedingfield – The 22-year-old singer-songwriter of “If You’re Not the One” recorded most of his debut album in his bedroom using only a mike and a PC, then tweaked it later in a real studio.
• Montgomery Gentry – They’ll spend the long weekend performing at military bases, FRIDAY at Fort Sill OK, SATURDAY at Fort Leonard Wood MO, and SUNDAY at Fort Knox KY.
• Jonell Mosser – The “Now That I’m On My Own” singer appeared on the movie soundtracks for “Hope Floats”, “Boys on the Side” and “Look Who’s Talking Now”.
• Madonna – She’s reportedly refusing to perform until her concert stages have been blessed by Kabbalah leader Rabbi Philip Berg.
• Julie Roberts – TONIGHT the “Break Down Here” singer does “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Jeff Timmons – “Whisper That Way” is the first single from the first solo album (due AUGUST 24th) by the 98 Degrees member who DIDN’T marry Jessica Simpson.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Spider-Man 2″ (PG-13 Action Fantasy) –
• The sequel picks up 2 years after ‘Peter Parker’ (Tobey Maguire) vanquished the ‘Green Goblin’ as he attempts to protect lady love ‘Mary Jane Watson’ (Kirsten Dunst) from villainous ‘Dr Octopus’, aka ‘Doc Ock’ (Alfred Molina). Maguire’s back injury on the set of “Seabiscuit” nearly cost him this movie. Art imitates life in the sequel as ‘Peter Parker’ forfeits his superpowers and ends up falling from a building, suffering a painful blow to his back.
• The film cost circa $200 million to make, $54 million spent on digital effects alone.
• Testing with focus groups determined the sequel’s title. At one point the titles “Spider-Man: No More”, “Spider-Man 2 Lives” and “Spider-Man: Unmasked” were all being considered.
• Sony Music has released the “Spider-Man 2 “ soundtrack worldwide in 11 different versions.
• Experts predict it will be the  the year’s top-grossing film, but online gambling site BetWWTS.com places odds at 3-1 that opening weekend will fall short of the all-time record of $114.84 million that the original “Spider-Man” brought in.
• Singer Charlotte Church turned down the chance to wear the world’s most expensive dress (a $9 million, diamond-covered creation) to the UK premiere of “Spider-Man 2″ because she didn’t want to upstage Kirsten Dunst.

BS BUZZWORDS:
A review of some new terms invading our jargon …
• ‘SACD’ (Super Audio CD) – A new CD format that uses ‘Direct Stream Digital’ (DSD) technology to convert music into a digital signal. It’s said to offer resolution that’s 64 times higher than a regular CD and reproduces details you previously couldn’t hear. Many classic CDs are being scheduled for re-release in the new format. Note: Although the discs can be played on current CD and DVD players, you’ll need a new ‘SACD’-capable player to get the full effect. (Ah! There’s the rub.)
NET: http://www.superaudio-cd.com
• ‘Groundhog Day’ – When a company’s management ignores obvious problems and allows them to resurface on a daily basis, just like the events in the Bill Murray movie of the same name. (“Natalie booked off sick again. That’s the third Monday this month it’s been Groundhog Day.”)
• ‘DDS System’ – A new ‘behavior modification mouth appliance’ which prevents you from eating large mouthfuls of food. The dental plate is worn only during meals and fits on the roof of the mouth to restrict the amount of space for food, which reduces the amount you eat by about 25% and also makes you chew more slowly. Bottom line … $500.
NET: http://www.ddssystem.com

CHOCOLATE HABIT TO GET EXPENSIVE:
Dr Gareth Griffith of the University of Wales says the price of chocolate could soar if diseases that have devastated South America’s cocoa crops spread to other parts of the world. Fungi expert Griffith fears that infections such as ‘Witches Broom Disease’ could spread to Africa and trigger an international chocolate shortage. Fungal infections of cocoa in Brazil have put some 200,000 out of work. (Better start saving now for next Easter’s bunny!)
– “Biologist” magazine.

WHAT A THOUGHTFUL GUY:
Matt Wells of Leesburg VA has won the “Washington Post” ‘Penny Pincher of the Year’ award for refusing to take a $2 toll road – after his wife went into labor. Fortunately, they arrived at the hospital just in time anyway and both mom and babe are fine.

FOR THE RECORD:
It appears 23-year-old Singapore student Kimberly Yeo has set a new record for ‘Mobile Phone Text Messaging‘ by keying in a complicated 26-word message on her cellphone in 43.66 seconds, easily beating the old record of 67 seconds. The message: “The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human.”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Eating a ballot, not returning it or otherwise destroying or defacing it constitutes a serious breach of the Canada Elections Act.
• Only a quarter of men use grocery lists when they shop, compared to three-quarters of women.

THE BULL SHEET 06.30.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959 [45] Vincent D’Onofrio, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (‘Detective Robert Goren’ on “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” since 2001)

1966 [38] Mike Tyson, Brooklyn NY, ex-con/ex-world heavyweight boxing champion who has just reached a $14-million settlement with rip-off boxing promoter Don King  QUOTE: “For the past 2 years, I have been a bum, truly a bum in the streets. I’ve got nowhere to live. I’ve been crashing with friends, sleeping in shelters.”

1975 [29] Ralf Schumacher, Kerpen GER, Formula One racer/brother of perpetual F-1 winner Michael Schumacher (the kid mom always liked best)

1984 [20] Fantasia Barrino, High Point NC, latest “American Idol” winner (“I Believe”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY-July 11th the 25th “Montréal Jazz Festival” wails in old Montréal. Canada Post has issued a 49-cent stamp to commemorate the event. This year’s schedule includes South Africa’s legendary Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Motown studio musicians the Funk Brothers, and a joint celebration of Cirque du Soleil’s 20th anniversary on the final evening.
NET: http://www.festivalfans.com/fest1.htm

TODAY the Bureau International de l’Heure in Paris, France will consider whether to make a “Leap Second Adjustment” to co-ordinate world atomic time with astronomical time. If it happens, they’ll add one whole second. (Wow, this could be a reaaaal long day!)

TODAY through Monday a quarter-million IQ points will descend on Las Vegas as members of Mensa assemble for the 42nd annual “Mensa Convention” at the Paris Las Vegas Hotel. Mensa is the exclusive organization that only accepts those who score in the top 2 percentile on standard IQ tests. Convention activities include a lecture on Gregorian chants, a quilting bee, and a 24-hour game room where eggheads can play chess & backgammon. Among the attendees will be Greg & Lisa Webster of Phoenix AZ, who met at a Mensa meeting 3 years ago and are now expecting a daughter. Hmm, what are the odds she’ll be a smart li’l cookie?
NET: http://www.us.mensa.org
PHONER: 817.607.0060 (Catherine Barney)

TOMORROW is “International Joke Day”, celebrating humor from around-the-world. It’s a good day to have listeners call in jokes in other languages. It’s most effective if you don’t ask them to translate, just laugh uncontrollably at whatever they say.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1838 [166] 1st ‘casters’ for furniture (next day, the 1st ‘office chair races’ are held)

1859 [145] 1st to cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope (French daredevil Emile Blondin)

1994 [10] 1st wedding via video-conference telephone

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [10] Temperature at Death Valley CA ties local record at 128 F

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[July 1] Canada Day (no BS service)  / International Joke Day / Build a Scarecrow Day / Financial Freedom Day / Frozen Yogurt Day
[July 2] Full ‘Buck’ Moon
[July 2-4] World Wife Carrying Championship (Sonkajarvi, Finland)
[July 3] Compliment Your Mirror Day / Dog Days of Summer Begin / Stay Out of the Sun Day / 31st International Cherry Pit Spitting Contest (Eau Claire MI)
[July 3-25] 2004 Tour de France
[July 4] Independence Day (USA) / National Country Music Day / Sidewalk Egg Frying Day /  Groundbreaking for 1,776-foot ‘Ground Zero’ skyscraper in NYC
[July 5] Independence Day holiday (USA) / 50th Anniversary of Rock ‘N Roll / Workaholics Day / Caricom Day (aka Caribbean Day)
[July 6] Fried Chicken Day
[July 7] Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day / “King Arthur” opens in movie theaters
[July 7-14] Running of the Bulls (Pamplona SPA)
[July 15-25] 22nd Just For Laughs comedy festival (Montréal)
[July 8] Video Games Day
[July 9] Air Conditioning Appreciation Days / Intern Appreciation Day / “Anchorman” opens in movie theaters
[July 8-18 Calgary Stampede
[July 10] Don’t Step on a Bee Day
[July 11] Barn Day / Cheer Up the Lonely Day / Pet Photo Day / UN World Population Day
[July 12]  Swimming Pool Day / Pecan Pie Day / Town Criers Day / Orangemen’s Day
[July 13] Gruntled Workers Day / 75th Major League Baseball All-Star Game
[July 15] Respect Canada Day
[July 16] “A Cinderella Story” and “I, Robot” open in movie theaters
[July 18] Cow Appreciation Day / Stick Out Your Tongue Day / National Ice Cream Day
[July 20] Moon Day / Chess Day / National Lollipop Day / Special Olympics Day
[July 21] Junk Food Day
[July 21-26] 66th All-American Soap Box Derby World Championships (Akron OH)
[July 22] Rat Watcher’s Day
[July 22-25] Manitoba Stampede & Exhibition (Morris MB)
[July 22-31] Edmonton Klondike Days
[July 23] Hot Enough For Ya? Day / “Catwoman” and “The Bourne Supremacy” open in movie theaters
[July 24] Cousins Day / Virtual Love Day / World Toe Wrestling Championships (Wetton UK)
[July 25] 2004 Baseball Hall of Fame Induction / Parents Day
[July 26] All or Nothing Day / Aunt & Uncle Day
[July 27] Take Your Houseplants For a Walk Day
[July 27-Aug 1] Regina Exhibition
[July 28] Accountants Day
[July 29] National Lasagna Day
[July 30] National Cheesecake Day / “The Manchurian Candidate” opens in movie theaters
[July 29] “Lord of the Rings” 50th Anniversary
[July 31] 2004 National Scrabble Championship begins (New Orleans LA) / Full ‘Blue’ Moon
[Aug 13]  Athens Summer Olympic Games opening ceremony

[July 1] Canada Day  / International Joke Day / Build a Scarecrow Day / Financial Freedom Day / Frozen Yogurt Day
[July 2] Full ‘Buck’ Moon
[July 2-4] World Wife Carrying Championship (Sonkajarvi, Finland)
[July 3] Compliment Your Mirror Day / Dog Days of Summer Begin / Stay Out of the Sun Day / 31st International Cherry Pit Spitting Contest (Eau Claire MI)
[July 3-25] 2004 Tour de France
[July 4] Independence Day / National Country Music Day / Sidewalk Egg Frying Day /  Groundbreaking for 1,776-foot ‘Ground Zero’ skyscraper in NYC
[July 5] Independence Day holiday (no BS service) / 50th Anniversary of Rock ‘N Roll / Workaholics Day / Caricom Day (aka Caribbean Day)
[July 6] Fried Chicken Day
[July 7] Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day / “King Arthur” opens in movie theaters
[July 7-14] Running of the Bulls (Pamplona SPA)
[July 8] Video Games Day
[July 9] Air Conditioning Appreciation Days / Intern Appreciation Day / “Anchorman” opens in movie theaters
[July 10] Don’t Step on a Bee Day
[July 11] Barn Day / Cheer Up the Lonely Day / Pet Photo Day / UN World Population Day
[July 12]  Swimming Pool Day / Pecan Pie Day / Town Criers Day / Orangemen’s Day
[July 13] Gruntled Workers Day / 75th Major League Baseball All-Star Game
[July 15] Respect Canada Day
[July 16] “A Cinderella Story” and “I, Robot” open in movie theaters
[July 18] Cow Appreciation Day / Stick Out Your Tongue Day / National Ice Cream Day
[July 20] Moon Day / Chess Day / National Lollipop Day / Special Olympics Day
[July 21] Junk Food Day
[July 21-26] 66th All-American Soap Box Derby World Championships (Akron OH)
[July 22] Rat Watcher’s Day
[July 23] Hot Enough For Ya? Day / “Catwoman” and “The Bourne Supremacy” open in movie theaters
[July 24] Cousins Day / Virtual Love Day / World Toe Wrestling Championships (Wetton UK)
[July 25] 2004 Baseball Hall of Fame Induction / Parents Day
[July 26] All or Nothing Day / Aunt & Uncle Day
[July 27] Take Your Houseplants For a Walk Day
[July 28] Accountants Day
[July 29] National Lasagna Day
[July 30] National Cheesecake Day / “The Manchurian Candidate” opens in movie theaters
[July 29] “Lord of the Rings” 50th Anniversary
[July 31] 2004 National Scrabble Championship begins (New Orleans LA) / Full ‘Blue’ Moon
[Aug 13]  Athens Summer Olympic Games opening ceremony

BULL’S BITS . . .
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Are my plants dying just to make me feel guilty for not talking to them?
• Is it insomnia if you keep dreaming that you’re awake?
• Do lawyers charge $300 an hour because everyone already hates them anyway?
• When we say ‘tying the knot’ are we talking about a noose?
• When you weigh fish, should you include the scales?
• Are funerals held in the daytime because we can’t have mourning at night?
• Can Mike Tyson’s girlfriend be charged with bestiality?

BS CANADA DAY QUIZ:
• 3 of the 4 original provinces that made up Canada on July 1, 1867 were Ontario, Québec and Nova Scotia. Name the 4th. [New Brunswick]
• Who was the first French Canadian to become Prime Minister? [Sir Wilfrid Laurier]
• Who is Alberta named after? [A daughter of Queen Victoria.]
• Which Canadian recording artist was the first to have a million-selling album in Canada? [Bryan Adams]
• High River AB was the birthplace of which Canadian prime minister? [Joe Clark]
• What’s the 3rd-largest ethnic group in Canada after British and French? [German]
• From what language did the name ‘Canada’ originate? [Huron-Iroquois]
• Canada occupies how many of the world’s 24 time zones? [6, when you include Newfie time.]
• What’s the proper way to address the Governor General of Canada? [‘Excellency’]
• What’s the only single community in Canada split by a provincial boundary? [Lloydminster AB/SK]
– “McClelland & Stewart Canadian Encyclopedia”  

BS INTERVIEW:
Pajama parties are becoming increasingly popular as a venue for ‘Girls Night Out’. A company called ‘Ultimate Pajama Party’ stages weekend sleep-overs for women at hotels in US and Canadian cities, complete with food and lightweight seminars on things like fashion and cooking. The company slogan is, “All I need to know about life I learned from my girlfriends”.
PHONER: 403.287.8425 (Helene Oseen)
NET: http://www.ultimatepajamaparty.com

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• I don’t get it … I’ve known 3 different Lukes and not one of them was warm.
• When you think about it, ‘95% fat-free’ is just another way of saying ‘5% pure lard’.
• After that first date I decided we somehow need to work IQ into a woman’s measurements.

BS Q&A:
Q: How come everything we crave to eat is bad for us?
A: Actually it’s not – experts say we’ve evolved to crave sweetness so that we’re attracted to breast milk as babies. And the primal reason we crave salty foods is to prevent dehydration.
– “Denver Post”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a survey, the 2nd-scariest question a woman can ask a man is “Where is our relationship going?”. What’s the scariest question?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: “What are you thinking?”

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life is what happens when you’re not watching TV.

 


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