Wednesday, June 29, 2005        Edition: #3066
Touch Your Screen – This BS Is Still Warm!

TODAY a further 55,000 tickets for SATURDAY’s “Live 8″ concert in London are being distributed on a first-come, first-served basis at outlets across the UK, thereby making it the biggest ticketed event in British history . . . A Moscow concert has been added to the “Live 8″ lineup, featuring Pet Shop Boys playing in Red Square, joined by Russian bands Bravo, Moral Code X, Valery Sutkin & Spleen . . . Alicia Keys, Toby Keith, Josh Groban & Black Eyed Peas have been added to the lineup for the Philadelphia edition of “Live 8″ . . . Neil Young has been added to the Canadian “Live 8″ lineup . . . Advance orders of “Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince” (publishing JULY 16th) now exceed 1 million worldwide, putting it on pace to eclipse the record 1.3 million garnered by the previous ‘Potter’ in 2003 . . . “Lord of the Rings” director Peter Jackson has filed suit against New Line Cinema, claiming the movie studio may have underpaid him by as much as $100 million in money generated by books, DVDs & merchandise based on the trilogy (poor Pete only made $47 million – LAST YEAR!) . . . Among others, Guy Pearce, Ashton Kutcher & David Duchovny were considered for the lead role in “Batman Begins” before it ultimately went to Christian Bale . . . And a new “Billboard” magazine online poll finds that fully 63% of voters think FOX-TV’s “American Idol” can remain popular for at least 3 more seasons.

• Avril Lavigne – Publicists for both her & Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley have now confirmed they are engaged.
• Bryan Adams – THIS MORNING he’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• Clay Aiken – His 10-page concert rider warns that he is allergic to nuts … and mushrooms and coffee and mint and chocolate and shellfish. And please, the bottled water must NOT be Evian.
• Eminem – TONIGHT he performs atop a downtown Detroit parking garage. “Rockin’ the Rooftop” is a fundraiser for this WEEKEND’s huge fireworks display, part of the US-Canadian “International Freedom Festival” with sister city Windsor, Ontario. Organizers hope to sell over 2,000 tickets at $175 apiece.
• Eve – Gwen Stefani’s 26-year-old “Rich Girl” collaborator is the latest celeb to be exposed on the Internet in a homemade sex tape. It was apparently made 6 years ago. Legal action has been taken in an attempt to have it removed from circulation.
• Keith Urban – TONIGHT he’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Kelly Clarkson – TONIGHT she kicks off her 2nd North American tour of the year, in Del Mar CA. The 47-city “Behind These Hazel Eyes Tour” wraps in Las Vegas on SEPTEMBER 10th.
• Toby Keith – TONIGHT his restaurant-club I Love This Bar & Grill opens in Harrah’s Las Vegas Casino & Hotel. Based on the food in his favorite Oklahoma restaurants, the menu includes a fried bologna sandwich, pulled pork barbecue and side orders of ‘freedom fries’. An Oklahoma City location opened JUNE 21st.

“War of the Worlds” (PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller): In this Steven Spielberg bigscreen take on HG Wells’ 1898 novel, Tom Cruise stars as a working class, small-town New Jersey man whose life is turned upside-down by the arrival of aliens who have come en masse to destroy Earth. Co-stars Dakota Fanning & Tim Robbins. The special effects-laden, $128-million film is being released in at least 35 countries worldwide simultaneously. The story has previously been the basis for the famous 1938 Orson Welles radio play, a 1953 movie, a 1976 audio musical, and a 1988 TV series. An online anti-“War of the Worlds” petition has been started up by someone with a mad-on over Tom Cruise’s increasingly weird ramblings on Scientology.

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Babble’ – A new privacy device that makes it possible for people to have confidential conversations in office cubicles which cannot be understood by co-workers. It does this by ‘multiplying’ the voice and ‘randomizing’ it. (In simple terms: it creates a bunch of noise.)
• ‘Nastygram’ – An e-mail that attempts to intimidate the recipient into ceasing a particular action, ie: stealing a trademark or copyrighted material. Basically, the 21st-Century version of the ‘cease-and-desist letter’.

Believe it or not, chemicals found in underarm sweat can persuade men to buy men’s magazines. A new study by Dr Michael Kirk-Smith from the University of Ulster & Dr Claus Ebster from the University of Vienna suggests that extracts of body odor can help to sell several products. (Like deodorant perhaps?)

Occupations that are expected to decline between now and 2012 thanks mainly to automation and other changes in technology …
• Farmer/Rancher
• Sewing Machine Operator/Textile Knitting & Weaving Machine Tenders
• Word Processor/Data-Entry Keyer
• Stock Clerk/Order Filler
• Secretary (except Legal, Medical and Executive)
• Electrical & Electronic Equipment Assembler
• Computer Operator
• Telephone Operator
• Postal Service Mail Sorter/Mail Processing-Machine Operator
• Travel Agent

A hotel with rooms built in the branches of a tree has opened its doors for business in Saxony, Germany. Guests spend the night in wooden rooms suspended in branches 30 ft above the ground. The Zentendorf Tree House offers 5 rooms connected by narrow walkways and built into the branches of a black locust tree. The rooms, which  come with small balconies, electric lights and shared toilets, go for $180 to $275 a night. Opening night was completely booked. (If you run out of money, is there a bank branch?)
– Ananova

• The village of Polevoy in the Sverdlovsk region, one of the most beautiful parts of Russia, has had to be evacuated after it was taken over by flies, thanks to a local farmer importing several tons of – chicken poop. Hot weather in MAY and heavy rains throughout JUNE proved to be the perfect conditions for the flies that have emerged from the dung by the millions. In all, over 50 homes have had to be abandoned. (We sling crap for a living too, but they’re ain’t no flies on us!)
• A zoo in the southern German city of Augsburg intends to add ‘genuine exotic ambience’ by enhancing their African animal exhibit with grass-skirted black men in mud huts carrying out traditional activities such as basket-weaving, woodwork & tribal dancing. The display will be called “Discover the Dark Continent”. (Thereby turning back African progress 300 years.)
• A prankster in North Platte, Nebraska swallowed his friend’s truck key by accident when he only intended to pretend he was. Fortunately, a doctor’s X-ray of his stomach provided a clear image of the key … in fact, clear enough to allow a locksmith to make a duplicate of the truck’s only key! (Listener poll: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever swallowed? Careful now …)
• A belief that being taller will help you get jobs and lovers has sparked a national craze in China where thousands are lining up to be surgically stretched or to buy torture rack-like ‘stretching machines’ in order to increase their height. One procedure involves breaking the patient’s legs and attaching metal pins to the separated bones to increase their length by 15%. (It doesn’t really work … they’re just pulling your leg.)
• Moscow spiritualist Marina Bai, is suing NASA in a Russian court because the US space agency plans to whack a comet MONDAY with a space probe. The mission, she contends will “infringe upon my system of spiritual and life values … upon the unacceptability of barbarically interfering with the natural life of the universe, and the violation of the natural balance of the universe.” (Whoa, did somebody forget her meds today?)
• Japanese police say a young mother found at the scene of a car crash near Tokyo in which her husband and infant son were killed had already been dead – for at least a day before the accident happened. (Spooky! More details on “CSI: Tokyo”.)

The US National Highway Transportation Safety Administration (NHTSA) has determined that even with hands-free cellphones, driver distraction is still a problem and the practice is a key cause of traffic accidents. A year-long study has determined that it doesn’t matter if drivers are holding a phone to their ear and using the other hand to steer or using a hands-free device. Either way it degrades both driving performance and vehicle control. (So what about a passenger yakking at you … isn’t it the same?)
– “Detroit News”

The largest number of children a single woman has birthed is 69.


1944 [61] Gary Busey, Goose Creek TX, movie actor (“Under Siege”, “Lethal Weapon”)

1948 [57] Ian Paice, Nottingham UK, classic rock drummer (Deep Purple-“Hush”)  FACTOID: SATURDAY Deep Purple plays the Canadian “Live 8″ concert in Barrie ON.

1949 [56] Dan Dierdorf, Canton OH, CBS-TV NFL analyst/NFL Hall of Fame player (St Louis Cardinals)

1853 [52] Colin Hay, Kilwinning, Scotland, classic rock singer (Men at Work-“Down Under”)

1978 [27] Todd Sansom, Stanardsville VA, country singer/guitarist (Marshall Dyllon-“You”)

TODAY is “International Camera Day” or at least it was … does anyone use an old-fashioned gizmo with film and flash anymore?

1964 [41] 1st TV remote sold with a TV (Zenith Radio Corporation’s ‘Lazy Bones’ uses a cable that runs from the TV set to the viewer)

1925 [80] 1st ‘Frosted Light Bulb’ patented, to soften glare of  incandescent lights (Marvin Pipkin)

1937 [68] 1st ‘Snowmobile’, built by Armand Bombardier in Québec (originally called ‘Ski-dog’, later ‘Ski-do’)

1966 [39] ‘World’s Largest Hotdog’ measures 3,124 feet long (Humberside, England)

[Thurs] Meteor Day
[Thurs] Gay Pride Day (varies city-to-city)
[Thurs-July 10] Montréal Jazz Festival
[Fri] Canada Day (no BS service)
[Fri] International Joke Day
[Fri] “Rebound” opens in movie theaters


• “Why don’t you go out with the girls tonight?” = “That way I won’t feel guilty when I ditch you for poker.”
• “You have a nice smile.” = “I’m staring at your mouth right now because I’m dying to kiss you.”
• “I’ll do whatever you want tonight.” = “I’ll do whatever you want tonight, but it better include sex.”
• “I caught that guy checking you out.” = “But you’re not interested, right?”
– “Cosmopolitan”

CHEZ 106 Ottawa’s Jeff Brown played nothing but a single Stompin’ Tom tune for 3 hours on his drive-time show to protest the fact that the Canadian icon has not been included in the “Live 8″ lineup in Barrie ON (about the only homegrown geezer that isn’t). The station has supposedly  suspended him for his actions, which has led to a flood of protest calls and an online petition. The old fake firing bit … works every time!

• What is the best example of ‘perfection’ that you can think of? Steak & lobster? Scotch on the rocks?
• If you could eliminate one habit your mate has, what would you have them stop doing?

• The average Canadian household spends nearly twice as much on this as on food.
a. Clothing.
b. Income tax. [CORRECT]
c. Gasoline.
d. Beer.

• Which element of “Live Aid” will be repeated at THIS WEEKEND’s “Live 8″?
a. A duet between Mick Jagger & Tina Turner.
b. A one-time-only reformation of Led Zeppelin.
c. Phil Collins performing at concerts on 2 continents.
d. Bono pontificating in his wrap-around shades. [CORRECT]

• Which is currently the most common non-contagious disease in the world?
a. Gum disease. [CORRECT]
b. Skin cancer.
c. Gout.
d. Cat scratch fever.

• Of the following countries, which has the longest coastline?
a. Canada. [CORRECT]
b. USA.
c. China.
d. Kirstie Alley.

• Which of the following was true about the first “Independence Day”?
a. Marked the first public display of the Declaration of Independence.
b. Included a non-denominational religious component.
c. Was celebrated on July 8 rather than July 4. [CORRECT]
d. Featured Billy Dee Williams in the Will Smith role.

• Which man has won the most modern-era Wimbledon singles titles?
a. Rod Laver.
b. Pete Sampras. [CORRECT]
c. Bjorn Borg.
d. Martina Navratilova.

Today’s Question: When it comes to THESE, new research has found that on average women’s are bigger than men’s.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Hangovers.

Life is a sexual transmitted disease that is always fatal.


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