Friday, June 27, 2003        Edition: #2572
Touch Your Screen – This BS Is Still Warm!

YESTERDAY’S play at Wimbledon’s Center Court was delayed a half-hour so scenes for the upcoming movie “Wimbledon”, starring Paul Bettany & Kirsten Dunst, could be shot in front of the real-life spectators . . . TODAY tickets go on sale for the Toronto SARS benefit concert JULY 30th featuring the Stones, Justin Timberlake, AC/DC, Sam Roberts, The Flaming Lips, Kathleen Edwards, The Isley Brothers, Sass Jordan, Chicane & the Guess Who (they’re hoping to sell over 300,000 @ $21.50 CDN) . . . TODAY comedian Gilda Radner will be honored with a posthumous star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, a day before what would have been her 57th birthday . . . TONIGHT 40 “Survivor” alumni, including winners Jenna Morasca, Vecepia Towery, Ethan Zohn & Tina Wesson, will attend a “Go Tribal Party” at Harrah’s Casino IN Council Bluffs, Iowa (answering the question, how does a reality TV contestant make money afterward?) . . . TOMORROW Madonna, Britney Spears & Nelly will join a host of artists and comedians at the Hollywood Palladium for the 1st “MTV Bash”, sort of a comedy/concert roast of TV host Carson Daly . . . Rumor has it Pamela Anderson is getting over her split from fiancé Kid Rock by dating Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst . . . According to “Los Angeles Magazine”, Jennifer Lopez has such an obsession with bathrooms she demands a totally private commode wherever she goes that cannot be used by anyone else – including Ben (it’s the J-Loo) . . . Word is Justin Timberlake & Cameron Diaz will attend Berlin’s “Love Parade Festival” together NEXT MONTH, their 1st public appearance as a couple after dating secretly for 2 months . . . And is anyone normal anymore? Eminem has reportedly been having his hotel rooms covered with tinfoil while touring the UK – to prevent his cellphone calls from being scanned.

Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz & Lucy Liu return in the campy sequel “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle”, touted as a ‘comeback’ for Demi Moore who plays a ‘fallen angel’, and also featuring Bernie Mac as ‘Bosley’s Brother’ (replacing Bill Murray), John Cleese as Lucy Liu’s father (huh?), plus cameos from the Olsen twins, original TV ‘Angel’ Jaclyn Smith, Pink & Bruce Willis . . . After a virus wipes out most of the planet, a handful of survivors try to save the human race from extinction in the no-name British sci-fi thriller “28 Days Later” (from the director of “Trainspotting”).

The creators of a new wonder drug claim it will slow down the signs of aging by repairing and restoring the body’s natural defences. The new pill, set to begin clinical trials in Scotland, contains the protein ependymin which is produced by the brain and stimulates the body into making its own disease-fighting antioxidants. These are found naturally in fruit and vegetables and combat the damage caused to our bodies as we age. The researchers say the new pill has the equivalent effect of eating 30 lbs of fruit and vegetables per day, thereby boosting average life expectancy from 75 to 120 years! (Would you wanna be 120?)

Princess Diana returns as a mutant superhero in Marvel’s new comic book series “X-Statix”, what the “NY Times” describes as ‘a garish spin-off of “X-Men”.’ Brit comic book writer Peter Milligan has created 5 episodes where Di returns as a mutant zombie whom several Buckingham Palace baddies arrange to be killed – quote – “And this time, let’s do it properly!” As in real life, word is Diana comes out of the story a lot better than the British establishment.

The problem with Internet ‘chat rooms’ up until now has been anonymity – people can lie about their profile, appearance, even gender. Enter, touted as the Internet’s largest online Webcam community. The availability of inexpensive Webcams and their easy operation has led more than 700,000 users to the site’s ‘video chat rooms’, where you can see and hear the people you’re chatting with. The site features thousands of rooms, all of them rated from ‘safe rooms’ (mind your manners, please!) to ‘free zones’ (anything goes).

Hey kids, think your summer job sucks? Norwegian newspaper “VG” is collecting stories about odd summer jobs and this one takes the cake … or maybe pie: A 14-year-old will be earning his summer cash by following cattle around with a pan, collecting cow flop for research. The samples, to be used by Saerheim Plant Research, need to be in pristine condition – so lucky Svein Tore Hauge has to catch them BEFORE they hit the ground. For this, he gets 10 bucks an hour! (I’ve been catching crap around here for years.)

NEXT MONTH Japan’s Kirin Brewery Company will begin test marketing a draft beer that comes in a self-cooling keg. The German-made 5-liter keg does not need ice, electricity or any other cooling device. It makes use of water’s natural tendency to cool its surroundings when it evaporates in a low-pressure environment. When a lever on the container is pressed, water surrounding an inner container holding the beer starts to evaporate and turn into ice. In about 90 minutes, the beer reaches a temperature of about 7 degrees C (44 degrees F), perfect for consumption, and maintains that temp for roughly 12 hours. Consumers will pay a refundable deposit on the kegs, which can be reused at least 130 times.

Britain’s Royal Society of Chemistry has weighed in on the age-old question of how to make the perfect cup of tea. You may not care, but just mention this and watch your phones light up! According to the chemist poohbahs –
• Use 1 rounded teaspoon of loose-leaf Assam tea per cup.
• The water should be freshly drawn and freshly boiled, preferably ‘soft’ water.
• Water temperature has to be 60-65 C (140-149 F). Below this temperature many of the tea’s bouquet of flavors disappear.
• The pre-warmed teapot should be ceramic.
• The tea should be allowed to brew for 3 to 4 minutes but no longer.

Researchers at the Food Analysis Laboratory in Caracas, Venezuela say they have pioneered a natural method that removes almost all of the compounds in beans that cause – flatulence. Intestinal gas occurs when bacteria in the gut breaks down fiber and carbohydrates. The scientists have developed a way of naturally fermenting beans that has positive effects on digestibility, texture and – perhaps most importantly – aroma.

The US Transportation Security Administration’s security laboratory has developed a new ‘Backscatter’ airport screening system that uses total body X-rays to see through clothing. (Passengers will now be rated from ‘Low Risk’ to ‘Nice Rack’.)

SUNDAY Sisters of the Road Café in Portland, Oregon host an attempt to set a world record for ‘World’s Largest Guitar Jam’. Some 3,000 guitarists are expected to strum a 60-minute rendition of the Woody Guthrie folk classic, “This Land Is Your Land”. The only rule is – no amplifiers!


1959 [44] Lorrie (Loretta Lynn) Morgan, Hendersonville TN, country singer (“Gonna Leave The Lights On”, “Out of Your Shoes”)/Mrs Sammy Kershaw (her 5th marriage)

1975 [28] Tobey Maguire, Santa Monica CA, movie actor (“Spider-Man”, “The Cider House Rules”)  NEXT MOVIE: The horseracing drama ”Seabiscuit” coming JULY 25th, then “Spider-Man 2” set for release JULY 2nd, 2004.

1976 [27] Leigh Nash, New Braunfels TX, pop singer (Sixpence None the Richer-“Don’t Dream It’s Over”, “Kiss Me”)

1991 [12] Madylin Sweeten, Brownwood TX, TV actress (Ally Barone-“Everybody Loves Raymond” since 1996)

1926 [77] Mel Brooks (Kaminsky), Brooklyn NY, really rich Broadway producer (“The Producers”)/movie director (“Blazing Saddles”, “High Anxiety”)

1948 [55] Kathy Bates, Memphis TN, film actress (“About Schmidt”, “Titanic”, Oscar-“Misery”)  COMING UP: Plays Queen Victoria in the remake of “Around the World in 80 Days”, coming in DECEMBER.

1966 [37] John Cusack, Evanston IL, movie actor (“Pushing Tin”, “Con Air”)  UP NEXT: Stars in the bigscreen version of the John Grisham bestseller, “The Runaway Jury”, opening OCTOBER 17th.

1967 [36] Gil Bellows, Vancouver BC, TV actor (“The Agency” 2001-02, “Ally McBeal” 1997-2000)/movie actor (“The Shawshank Redemption”)

• “Special Recreation for Disabled Day”
• “National HIV Testing Day”

TODAY is “Decide To Be Married Day”, focusing on the joys of the ball-and-chain. Ask listeners for advantages to being married that you rarely hear about.

TODAY is “Sunglasses Day”. Shades as we know them today are a 20th century phenomenon. In the 1930s, the military commissioned glasses that would protect pilots from sun glare. But they didn’t become a real fad until the 1960s when an ad campaign asked, “Who’s Behind those Foster Grants?”.

CANADA DAY WEEKEND is always time for the annual “World Super Gopher Derby” in Eston SK. It was initiated in 1972 by the local Lions Club and has been held annually since in conjunction with “Sportsarama Days”. It’s such a landmark event for the town, they erected a statue of a giant 8-ft gopher on the main street in 1987. 64 starting gophers (all with names) are drawn from entries that come from across Canada and the USA. There are 8 heats run daily with winners advancing to finals. Once the racing is over, the competitors are released back into the wild.
PHONER: 306-962-4444/306-962-3541 (Rod Knight)

SATURDAY is “Paul Bunyon Day”, celebrating the famous American fable about the giant lumberjack who performed incredible feats such as scooping out the Great Lakes to get water for his blue ox, ‘Babe’ (why the heck was he blue – mad cow?) The stories date back to the1800’s, then appeared in newspapers in the early 1900’s and turned Paul Bunyon into part of American folklore.

THIS WEEKEND in Luling, Texas, they celebrate the watermelon harvest at the annual “Watermelon Thump”. One of the events is the ‘World Champion Seed-Spitting Contest’, recognized by the “Guinness Book of World Records”. The current record is just under 69 ft. So what’s the secret to seed-spitting success?
PHONER: 830-875-3214 (Susan Ward, Luling Watermelon Thump Association)

TOMORROW and Sunday the 642nd annual “Kirkpinar Oil Wrestling Championships” grapple near Turkey’s northwestern city of Edirne, when big burly men cover themselves in olive oil and grapple with each other while wearing leather trousers. (I think I saw the movie.)

SATURDAY is “National Tapioca Day”, honoring that stuff you put in pudding that looks like fish eyes.

1859 [144] The melody of the world’s most-sung song “Happy Birthday to You” is composed by Louisville KY school teacher Mildred J Hill (published in 1893 as “Good Morning To All” with lyrics written by her sister Patty Smith Hill)

1924 [79] Parliament approves formation of ‘United Church of Canada’ from Methodist, Presbyterian & Congregational churches

1980 [23] “O Canada” unanimously accepted by House of Commons and Senate as Canada’s national anthem, with ‘special allowance for possible changes of words’ (written by Calixa Lavallee & Adolphe-Basile Routhier, it was officially proclaimed Canada’s national anthem a few days later on July 1, 1980)

1942 [61] ‘Ray-Ban sunglasses’ 1st introduced (developed for high-altitude bomber pilots)

1994 [09] 1st music release on the Internet (Aerosmith-“Head First”)

1949 [54] ‘Largest Canadian majority government’ in history as Louis St Laurent’s Liberals win 191 seats to 41 for Conservatives, 13 for CCF and 10 for Social Credit

[Sat-Mon] Glastonbury Music Festival (Glastonbury UK)
[Sat] Paul Bunyan Day
[Sun] Camera Day
[Mon] National Blonde Day
[Mon] Gay Pride Day (varies city-to-city)
This Week Is . . . Assistant Principals Week
This Month Is . . . Fireworks Safety Month


10. “Bats”
9. “Anaconda”
8. “The Beast”
7. “Arachnophobia”
6. “Deep Blue Sea”
5. “Congo“
4. “Lake Placid”
3. “Kingdom of The Spiders”
2. “The Birds”
1. “Jaws”
(Apparently “Deep Throat” didn’t make it.)
Source: Underground Online

Find out what your name is an acronym for with the online ‘Cyborg Generator’. We found out Da Bull is an acronym for ‘Biomechanical Unit Limited to Learning’.

BS Q & A:
Q: What are the 5 most popular fruits in America?
A: In order of greatest consumption, they are bananas, apples, watermelon, orange & cantaloupe.
Source: Food & Drug Administration

1. Adam Sandler
2. Demi Moore
3. Orlando Bloom
4. Halle Berry
5. Vin Diesel
Source: Hot Searches

• We were very poor. I had a static electricity guitar. To play it, I had to keep rubbing my shoes on the carpet.
• My advice to parents is to relax. Slow down. Take time to stop and smell your children.

Today’s Question: According to a recent survey, what do only 4% of men do when they get married?
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Ask permission from the bride’s parents.

It’s true hard work never killed anybody … but why take the chance?


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