Thursday, June 26, 2008        Edition: #3806
Here’s More Bull Roar!

According to a new “Hollywood Reporter“ listing, Reese Witherspoon is currently the highest-paid movie actress, pulling in $15-to-$20 million per film, putting her ahead of Cameron Diaz and Nicole Kidman (Reese’s last hit: “Walk the Line” in 2005) . . . Looks like “Get Smart” star Anne Hathaway dumped her Italian BF just in time as Raffaello Follieri is now formally charged with a dozen counts of wire fraud conspiracy & money laundering (he allegedly claimed to be Chief Financial Officer of the Vatican) . . . A rash of teen pregnancies in Massachusetts is being blamed on the so-called ‘Juno Effect’, the popularity of the film “Juno”, starring Ellen Page as a 16-year-old who gets preggers (a rash of bumbling, stumbling & ineptitude is being blamed on the ‘Get Smart’ Effect’) . . . “Sex & The City” star Chris Noth denies there are plans to produce a bigscreen version of his other TV show, “Law & Order” (after 18 years & 3 TV versions, it’s wearing a little thin, no?) . . . A 30-disc box set with every episode of “The Sopranos” is going on sale NOVEMBER 11th at a MSRP of $399.99 (that’s $40/lb) . . . A judge has ruled in favor of Ticketmaster in its case against software firm RMG Technologies, forcing it to stop creating programs that allow scalpers to scoop up tickets before the general public (good news for concert-goers trying to find a tough ducket) . . . “The Hills” star/wannabe singer Heidi Montag has just released the single, “Fashion”, which includes a verse sung in French (which reminds us the word crap in French is merde) . . . And 46-year-old actress Heather Locklear has just checked into rehab to be treated for anxiety & depression and, likely more importantly, the medications she was taking for psychological ailments (her ailments have included Richie Sambora, Tommy Lee, Scott Baio, Jack Wagner, Tom Cruise …).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Keyshia Cole is the musical guest.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Cyndi Lauper promotes her ”True Colors” tour.
• “Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D-List” (Bravo) – Kathy hijacks an airline PA system and performs stand-up during a flight to Australia.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Gavin DeGraw (“In Love With a Girl”) performs.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Rocker Lenny Kravitz (“Lady”) is on.
• “Montréal Jazz Festival” – The 29th edition of the world’s largest jazz festival through JULY 6th features some 3,000 artists from 30 countries in more than 650 concerts, including 450 free outdoor performances. This year’s acts include Al Green, Aretha Franklin, U2 collaborator Daniel Lanois, and Woody Allen & His New Orleans Jazz Band.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The judges send 2 more dancers home on the live results show.
• “Sunset Strip Music Festival” – Through SATURDAY at various music venues along LA’s Sunset Strip. Featured acts include Hot Hot Heat, Juliette & The Licks, and B Real of Cypress Hill.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Sheryl Crow promotes her latest album “Detours”. She’s recently admitted that she relied heavily on booze to get her through live performances early in her career. Nowadays she’s kickin’ it sober.

• Amy Winehouse – Despite being temporarily hospitalized with traces of emphysema, she’s returned to rehearsals for her scheduled appearances at THIS WEEKEND’s “Glastonbury Festival” and Nelson Mandela charity concert in London.
• Coldplay – According to “Billboard”, their album “Viva La Vida” has had the 2nd-best opening of 2008, just a week after Lil Wayne’s “Tha Carter III” scored the top debut of the year.
• Gary Glitter – The former glam rocker (née Paul Gadd) says when he completes his 3-year sentence in a Vietnam prison for illicit relations with minors, he wants to launch a career comeback. (Because the world’s dying to pay for lame music from a 64-year-old pervert.)
• Janet Jackson – She’s announced she’s turning her attention to fashion design and will launch her own line of lingerie. (When you aren’t making hits, make underwear!)
• Jonas Bros – Their musical comedy “Camp Rock” scored a rare win for the Disney Channel over all broadcast networks FRIDAY. That has producers scrambling to get a sequel together by NEXT YEAR.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “All Together Now” – This documentary follows Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Yoko Ono, and Olivia Harrison as they oversee a remix of The Beatles’ back catalogue for “Love”, the lavish $180-million Las Vegas production that opened in 2006. Originally planned as a promotional film, it was rerun by audience demand after premiering at Washington DC’s “Silverdocs” festival. It’s likely to get only a few public showings, but a DVD release is anticipated.
• “The Ghost” – This upcoming Roman Polanski political thriller will star Pierce Brosnan as an ex-British Prime Minister and Nicholas Cage as the author he enlists to write his memoirs. The writer must choose between loyalty and his personal safety when he learns the former leader is embroiled in a political scandal.
• “Robin Hood” – 26-year-old actress Sienna Miller has confirmed she will play the role of ‘Maid Marian’ in director Ridley Scott’s upcoming remake of the epic tale about the good-guy bandit of medieval England. She’ll star alongside Russell Crowe, who’s expected to play the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Some of the most sensational seasonal songs …
10. “Summertime” – Sublime.
9. “La Isla Bonita” – Madonna.
8. “Summer of ’69” – Bryan Adams.
7. “Walking on Sunshine” – Katrina & the Waves.
6. “Kokomo” – Beach Boys.
5. “Summer Love” – Justin Timberlake.
4. “The Boys of Summer” – Don Henley.
3. “Island In the Sun” – Weezer.
2. “Summertime” – DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince.
1. “Margaritaville” – Jimmy Buffett.

Researchers at Ben-Gurion University in Israel are developing a hands-off computer system designed to allow surgeons to flip back and forth through MRIs and CT scans simply by … groping in mid-air. The Gestix System keys in on the color of a surgeon’s gloves and responds to 8 separate gestures. The idea is to avoid hospital-acquired infections, easily spread via a keyboard or mouse. (If this catches on for office use, imagine how weird your cube farm’s gonna look to a visitor!)
– “New Scientist“

A German court has just ruled against a woman’s appeal of a decision to suspend government benefits. Her excuse for failing to properly register – a phobia of opening and reading official correspondence. There isn’t a word for that fear yet, but there is for each of these real but really weird phobias …
• ‘Acarophobia’ … the fear of itching.
• ‘Alektorophobia’ … the fear of chickens.
• ‘Genuphobia’ … the fear of knees.
• ‘Osmophobia’ … the fear of body odors.
• ‘Venstraphobia’ … the fear of beautiful women.
– UPI/”The Phobia List”

There’s a website that’s devoted entirely to unusual uses for common household items. Among them …
• You can clean a toilet with Alka-Seltzer, by plopping it in and waiting 20 minutes. (To save time after an all-night binge, drink the Alka- Seltzer first before driving the ‘big white wheel’.)
• Bounce fabric softener sheets will repel mosquitoes. Tie one through a belt loop when outdoors. (Also makes the mosquitoes soft and cuddly.)
• Rubbing the car bumper with a crumpled-up piece of aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola will help remove rust spots. (Geez, what’s this stuff do to your stomach?)
• Trying to remove a ring stuck on a finger? Try Miracle Whip. (Icky!)
• If you run out of shaving cream, applying Reddi-Wip to wet skin will work as a substitute. (For maximum usage, put it back in the fridge afterward for tomorrow’s dessert.)

A new ranking of guys who dress to impress and are always lookin’ fine …
10. LL Cool J
9. Usher
8. Timbaland
7. Justin Timberlake
6. Jonas Bros
5. Jon Bon Jovi
4. Sean Combs
3. Zac Efron
2. Jay-Z
1. Kanye West
– Starpulse Entertainment News Blog

• For added comfort, the Four Seasons hotel in Westlake Village CA is offering guests … teddy bears. It’s part of the hotel’s new ‘Better Sleep Program’ designed by doctors, dietitians, and other experts. Acupuncture, meditation, and similar soothing aids are also available.
– “Globe & Mail”
• A George Mason University study has found that boyfriends co-habiting with their chicks tend to help out more with household chores than married guys. (Because they’re still trying to score.)
– “Cosmopolitan”


1956 [52] Chris Isaak, Stockton CA, TV actor (“Chris Isaak Show” 2001-04)/movie actor (“Silence of the Lambs”)/pop singer (“Wicked Game”)

1959 [49] Mark McKinney, Ottawa ON, TV comic (“Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip” 2006-07, Saturday Night Live” 1995-97, “Kids In the Hall” 1989-94)

1969 [39] Colin Greenwood, Oxford UK, alt-rock bassist (Radiohead-“There There”, “Creep”)

1973 [35] Gretchen Wilson, Pocahontas IL, country singer (“Homewrecker”, “Redneck Woman”)

1974 [34] Derek Jeter, Pequannock NJ, MLB shortstop (NY Yankees)/1st player to be chosen World Series & All-Star Game MVP in same season (2000)/girlfriends have included Mariah Carey, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, and Vanessa Minillo

• “Beautician’s Day”, your chance to show your appreciation to those who make you look beautiful and stunning. That includes your hairstylist, manicurist, esthetician … and the makers of Adobe Photoshop.

• “Chocolate Pudding Day”, the yummy dessert that combines almost everything that’s bad for you – sugar, starch, cream, butter, and salt. Is it just us or does it feel really gooshy when you squeeze a fistful?

• “International Day Against Drug Abuse & Illicit Trafficking”, a UN observance established in 1987 with the goal of achieving an international society free of drug abuse. Let’s see, has it worked yet?

• “International Day in Support of Torture Victims”, created by the United Nations General Assembly to demonstrate solidarity with all those whose mind, body or spirit have been impacted by torture. (Is this a holiday at Guantanamo Bay?)

• “National Handshake Day”, initiated by a corporate training firm which claims the handshake is an important part of the business world that can make or break a deal or interview. Brody Professional Development suggests handshakes you should avoid include the ‘I won’t let go’, the wrong-handed ‘southpaw’, the ‘ringed torture’, the ‘dead fish’, the ‘4-finger’, the ‘cold & clammy’ and, conversely, the ‘sweaty palm’. The day’s motto is: “Get a grip on a professional handshake today!” (Then slather on hand sanitizer.)

• “Watermelon Thump”, the 55th annual through SUNDAY in Luling, Texas, home of the ‘World Champion Seed-Spitting Contest’ in which the Guinness Record was established at 68-ft, 9-ins.

1925 [83] Ted Rogers Sr invents the alternating-current tube which allows plug-in batteryless radios (the ‘RB’ in his radio station CFRB stood for ‘Rogers Batteryless’)

1959 [49] ‘St Lawrence Seaway’ is officially opened by Queen Elizabeth II and US President Eisenhower

1974 [34] 1st supermarket ‘Bar Code Scanner’ is used at Marsh’s Supermarket in Troy, Ohio where a pack of chewing gum becomes the 1st item scanned at a checkout (and shows up on the bill as twenty-dollars-worth of sirloin)

1985 [23] 1st ‘Organist Ejected from a Baseball Game’ (Wilbur Snapp gets tossed for playing “Three Blind Mice” following a call by umpire Keith O’Connor in a Class A League game at Jack Russell Stadium in Clearwater FL)

1976 [32] Toronto’s $63-million ‘CN Tower’ 1st opens to the public, the ‘World’s Tallest Free-standing Structure’ at 1,815-feet (553-m) featuring ‘World’s Highest Public Observation Deck’, ‘World’s Highest & Largest Revolving Restaurant’

1981 [27] ‘Most Coupons Used in a Single Purchase’ as Virginia Campbell of Mountain Home, Idaho buys $24,460 worth of groceries in a supermarket and uses clipped coupons and rebates to cover all but 67 cents of the bill (wow, someone even cheaper than [co-host]!)

1994 [14] Killer heat wave sets record temps in US Southwest (104 F in Denver CO, 107 F in Albuquerque NM, 112 F in El Paso TX, 126 F in Death Valley CA)

[Fri] Canadian Multiculturalism Day
[Fri] Special Recreation for Disabled Day
[Fri] Decide to Be Married Day
[Fri] HIV Testing Day
[Fri-Sun] Glastonbury Festival (UK)
[Fri] 46664 Concert Honoring Nelson Mandela at 90 (London)
[Fri] “Finding Amanda”; “Wall*E”; and “Wanted” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Paul Bunyan Day
[Sun] Log Cabin Day
This Week Is … Camping Week
This Month Is … Lane Courtesy Month


• Neighborhood kids ask if they can come over to jump on your trampoline.
• New algae species attracts a Discovery Channel film crew to your backyard.
• You can walk on water even though you’re only the ‘son of Gord’.
• pH is so high, in vitro fertilization is possible.
• Your recently installed pool filter already resembles Amy Winehouse’s chest X-ray.

If you could pick any 2 people in the history of the world to be your parents, who would they be?

In the interest of promoting more erudite language as well as general goofiness, here’s a truly weird word for you to toss around for the day (award callers for tying it in with whatever they’re talking about) …
• ‘Latrability’ … the ability to bark.
– “Foyle’s Philavery: A Treasury of Unusual Words”

Nice job, [co-host]! Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then.

Today’s Question: By the time you’re 40, odds are that you’ll have gone through about 11 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Jobs.

Wrinkles merely indicate where smiles have been.

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