Wednesday, June 25, 2008        Edition: #3805
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!

Toronto-native Michael Cohl has resigned his positions as Chairman of the Board of concert promoter Live Nation & CEO of Live Nation Artists, moving to a new role as company consultant after admitting he’s gotten away from the things he’s good at (he started out running a strip club – is that what he means?) . . . “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson says he’s confused by the barbaric-looking sword he’s received from Simon Cowell as a 52nd birthday gift (maybe he wants you to make like a Samurai warrior and fall on it?) . . . Donald Trump claims his “Celebrity Apprentice” show did so well last time around a lot of people want to be on it, including Paul McCartney’s ex-, Heather Mills, but the comb-over king refuses to name names until the new season beings shooting in 4 weeks (why’s he inflict this on us? – not like he needs the money) . . . Despite star Tobey Maguire not really wanting to make it, director Sam Raimi not really wanting to shoot it and an entire planet of people who are tired of it, producer Laura Ziskin has announced that “Spider-Man 4“ is going to get made anyway, with a target release of MAY, 2011 (why? – because the last 3 have grossed a total close to $2.5 billion) . . . After a Long Island clothing boutique recently refused to close so Jennifer Lopez could shop in private and also nixed a 50% discount that was demanded, J-Lo reportedly left all the outfits she’d tried on in a heap on the floor and didn’t buy a thing (seems she’s still the devil’s diva) . . . There are rumblings that divorced “Love Guru” star Mike Myers is exploring a new lifestyle and in the process of being outed (who cares about his private life, how come he’s not funny anymore?) . . . And 48-year-old Shawn Southwick King, 6th wife of CNN talk show host Larry King, has been admitted to rehab, suffering from a reported addiction to painkillers (if you woke up every morning to the realization you’d married a geezer 26-years-older, you’d be popping pills too!).

• “The Baby Borrowers” (NBC) – Series premiere of a new reality show (borrowed from the BBC) in which teen couples find out what it’s like to care for infants and seniors while also trying to hold down jobs. (They should have called it “Dose of Reality”.)
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Guests include Flobots (“Handlebars”).
• “Late Late Show” (CBS) – Three 6 Mafia (“Lolli Lolli Pop That Body)” are featured.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Leona Lewis (“Bleeding Love”) is a guest.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The top 16 dancers perform in a 2-hour episode.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Priscilla Ahn (“Dream”) is onstage.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Country singer (!?!) Jessica Simpson is on. (Daddy’s in the wings.)

• The Beatles – Apple Corps/EMI are currently holding meetings with both Activision (makers of “Guitar Hero”) and MTV Games (makers of “Rock Band”) about licensing Beatles music for videogame use.
• DMX – The rapper’s been arrested again, this time by Miami-Dade County Police for driving without a valid driver’s licence. LAST MONTH he was busted for speeding (114 mph); and he’s also pleaded not guilty to other charges of animal cruelty charges and drug possession.
• Janet Jackson – Her longtime music producer-partner Jermaine Dupri has confirmed they’re planning to start a family. (Better hurry … she’s 42!)
• Katy Perry – The 23-year-old “I Kissed a Girl” singer has received a diamond ‘promise ring’ from Gym Class Heroes frontman Travis McCoy. (Who’s apparently in “Cupid’s Chokehold”.)
• Smashing Pumpkins – They’re set to release a box-set of their 1991 debut album “Gish”. An exact release date and details of what the package will contain is yet to be decided. However, it has been announced it will be supported by a tour planned for later in 2008.

A new study suggests the reason so-called ‘bad boys’ have more partners than nice guys is simply because they better their odds by … hitting on more women. New Mexico State University researchers say those with the ‘dark triad’ of personality traits – the tendency to lie & manipulate others; selfish narcissism; and impulsive behavior – often also have a predatory, scatter-gun approach to conquests which helps them meet more women. So the reason they’re more successful than nice guys is mostly due to the law of averages. (Take a hint, dorks!)
– “Curious Times”

According to a new men’s health study, 10 minutes of staring at an attractive woman is equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout. The research suggests that ogling can lower blood pressure and fight heart disease as well. Related market research claims the average guy spends almost a year of his life checking out the ladies. (So how come guys don’t live forever?)
– “Social Studies”

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Celebretard’ – Someone who’s as dumb as they are famous (Paris, Lindsay, etc) or someone famous for appearing on a lame reality show (“Rock of Love”, “Flavor of Love”, etc) or someone famous for being famous … without doing squat (Jamie Lynn, Nicole, etc).
• ‘Falsies’ – New slightly smaller beer glasses that hold 14 ounces instead of the traditional 16-ounce pint. Also known as ‘cheater pints’. Like everything else, the excuse is the slump in the economy.
• ‘Petaflop’ – The speed of a new IBM supercomputer made for the US Department of Energy from gaming components. Capable of 1,000 trillion calculations per second, the uber-computer has been nicknamed ‘Roadrunner’. So far, it’s the sole machine capable of petaflop speed.
• ‘Social Dating’ – A new twist to online dating whereby singles avoid awkward one-on-one blind dates in favor of low-pressure group gatherings. Several websites now promise to expand your dating pool by linking you up with different circles. (It’s like grade 9 all over again.)

Plans to move all UK radio stations to digital radio and close down medium wave frequencies have been put forward in a report by the government’s Digital Radio Working Group. The task force says no date should be set yet for the switch, but it believes the transfer could be completed by the year 2020. The interim report suggests listeners should be given at least 2 years’ notice before the change begins. Some 90% of UK homes already have digital TV.
– BBC News

While many suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in mid-Winter, thought to be the result of lack of sunlight, some people experience a much rarer summertime strain with symptoms such as  decreased appetite, agitation, and depression. As odd as it sounds, the symptoms of Summer SAD actually go away come Winter. For Summer SAD sufferers, the problem appears to be too much heat rather than light. The antidote? Try taking cold showers and spending as much time as possible away from direct sunlight and heat. (Where could this possibly be a problem? The Yukon?)
– “Belfast Telegraph”

• In Poland, the Radkow town hall staff have just put a 17-year-old on the payroll as Tourism Promotions Inspector. What makes that unusual is that ‘Bobby’ is not human … he’s a chimpanzee. The big ape is escorted around city streets wearing a sign on his back advertising local tourist attraction Monkey Rock, part of the Table Mountains. For that easy-peasy job he makes about $140-a-month. (No word if he shares any with his handler.)
• In the Netherlands, thousands of Dutch folks say they believe the world will end in 2012. While theories on the supposed catastrophe vary, most tie the 2012 date to the end of the ancient Mayan calendar. Many of those interviewed say they’re already stocking up on emergency supplies, including life rafts and other equipment. (If it’s true, this is a good time to buy a million-dollar house!)
– Radio Netherlands
• In Italy, Japanese martial arts expert Keiko Wakabayshi has been hired by the military to train recruits of the Folgore brigade in hand-to-hand combat. That wouldn’t be so unusual except that Keiko is only 5-ft-tall and … a 77-year-old grandmother. She may be a pensioner but she’s no pushover as she’s a master in jujitsu, jojitso, kenjitso, judo, kendo, and karate. (Think there’s a bit of razzing after a rookie gets stomped by the kung fu nonna?)
– Ananova News

FRIDAY BioArts International of Mill Valley, California is giving away …. a free dog cloning. The carbon canine will go to the pet-owner who’s best pleaded their pooch’s case for immortality. Submissions for the ‘Golden Clone Giveaway’ in the form of 500-word essays were due by 3 pm YESTERDAY. But if you missed it, fear not! BioArts is also staging a ‘Best Friends Again’ auction JULY 5th-9th in which 5 dog clonings will be sold to the highest bidders worldwide. Oh BTW, bidding starts at $100,000.
– “NY Daily News”

• A 101-year-old Somerset, Pennsylvania man may be the world’s oldest licensed pilot. Ernie Trent has been flying airplanes since the 1930s and just passed another proficiency test, which is required every 2 years. So now he can fly till he’s 103 … if he’s still kicking.
– “Pittsburgh Tribune-Review”
• In Ukraine, a funeral parlor in the town of Truskavets claims to have built … the world’s biggest coffin. What’s even weirder is the 65-ft-long (20-m) casket is ensconced in a death-themed restaurant called ‘Eternity’. Guinness World Records has confirmed the biggest coffin title is currently unclaimed, but say they’ve yet to receive an application.
– “Daily Telegraph”

The highest known peak in our Solar System is on Mars, where Olympic Mons measures 24-km (about 15-miles) tall. (Or about 3 Everests.)
– “Mental Floss Magazine”


1945 [63] Carly Simon, NYC, oldies singer (“You’re So Vain”, “Anticipation”)/daughter of Richard Simon, co-founder of Simon & Schuster publishing

1952 [56] Tim Finn, Te Awamutu, New Zealand, oldies singer (Crowded House-“Don’t Dream It’s Over”, Split Enz-“I Got You”)

1961 [47] Ricky Gervais, Reading UK, triple Golden Globe-, double Emmy-winning writer/producer/actor (“The Office” creator, “Extras”)  FACTOID: His father emigrated to England from London ON.

1963 [45] George Michael (Yorgos Kyriatou Panayioutou), Radlett UK, pop singer (“Faith”, Wham-“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”)

1971 [37] Sean Kelly, Albuquerque NM, pop guitarist/singer (Sixpence None the Richer-“Kiss Me”, “There She Goes”)  FACTOID: Reunited SNTR has just put the finishing touches on their first Christmas album, due out in OCTOBER.

1971 [37] Angela Kinsey, Lafayette LA, TV actress (‘Angela Martin’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1972 [36] Mike Kroeger, Hanna AB, rock bassist (Nickelback-“Photograph”, “How You Remind Me”)/half-brother of frontman Chad Kroeger

1975 [33] Linda Cardellini, Redwood City CA, TV actress (‘Nurse Sam Taggart’ on “ER” 2003-09)

• “Leon Day” (‘Noel’ spelled backwards), observed exactly 6 months from Christmas, meaning we’re as far away from all that rush & stress as we can be!

• “National Catfish Day”, first initiated in 1987 to celebrate the value of farm-raised catfish. (They sure are hard to herd.)

• “Sense of Humor in Bed Appreciation Day”. (So [co-host], what’s it like being laughed at?)

1951 [57] 1st ‘Color TV’ broadcast (1-hour special on CBS-TV)

1630 [378] 1st ‘Fork’ introduced to North America (before that, face-in-bowl method used)

1867 [141] 1st ‘Barbed Wire’ is patented by Lucien Smith (next day, his son comes home with ripped pants)

1930 [78] ‘Twinkie’ snack is invented by Hostess Co baker Jimmy Dewar (Warning: may contain actual real food particles!)

1947 [61] 1st ‘Tennis Shoes’ are designed (next day, Third World workers are recruited to manufacture them in return for 23 cents … a year)

1974 [34] ‘Hand-Held Calculator’ patented (Texas Instruments ‘Datamath’ can only do basic arithmetic, but is priced at over $100)

1968 [40] Pierre Elliott Trudeau wins 28th federal general election, thanks in part to what’s called ‘Trudeaumania’

1993 [15] Kim Campbell is sworn in as Canada’s 19th and 1st female PM

1998 [10] “Windows ‘98“ is released by Microsoft using the slogan, ‘Works better. Plays better.’

1977 [31] Roy Sullivan of Virginia is struck by lightening for the 7th time … and lives! (uh Roy, maybe when you hear that rumbling noise, you ought to try heading indoors?)

[Thurs-Jul 6] 29th Montréal Jazz Festival
[Fri] Canadian Multiculturalism Day
[Fri] Decide to Be Married Day
[Fri] HIV Testing Day
[Fri-Sun] Glastonbury Festival (UK)
[Fri] 46664 Concert Honoring Nelson Mandela at 90 (London)
[Fri] “Finding Amanda”; “Wall*E”; and “Wanted” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Prevention of Eye Injuries Awareness Week
This Month Is … Soul Food Month


Hollywood thrives on follow-up films. Here are a few that surprisingly are yet to be made …
• “When Harry Divorced Sally”
• “Thelma & Louise 2: Honeys On the Lam”
• “The Matrix: Resolution”
• “Day After Tomorrow 2: The Day After That”
• “Titanic 2: Whatever Floats Your Boat”
• “Half Baked 2: Fully Baked”
• “Crutch Cassidy & the Sundance Senior”
• “Rocky 9: Punch Drunk”
• “Juno 2: Juno What I Know?”
• “Alien vs Predator vs Freddy vs Jason: Cage Match!”
(Ask listeners which movie they’d like more of.)
– Extrapolated from

The easiest way to refold a road map is differently.

There have been at least 22 flavors of Jell-O since 1897 … which is the all-time best-seller?
a. Strawberry. [CORRECT]
b. Grape.
c. Tequila Shots.
– Kraft Foods

Which deceased celebrity would you most like to bring back to life? (In a new Warner Home Video poll, Elvis Presley tops the list.)

Today’s Question: Sales of THESE increase by over 30% in the summertime.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Videogames.

Celibacy is not hereditary.

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