Tuesday, June 10, 2008        Edition: #3794
Sheet Happens!

As part of a deal aligning its teen clothing line with a young female music act, fashion brand Candie’s has agreed to promote the song, “Wake Up Call”, the 1st single from the upcoming debut album by “Heroes” star Hayden Panettiere (as a singer, she sounds a lot like an actress) . . . The New York City Opera has commissioned an opera to premiere in Spring 2013 based on “Brokeback Mountain”, the Annie Proulx short story that spawned the 2005 Oscar-winning movie starring Heath Ledger & Jake Gyllenhaal (won’t people laugh at a tenor in a cowboy hat & chaps?) . . . Fiery 38-year-old Brit model Naomi Campbell has undergone surgery to enable her to have children, which she says she intends to do – with or without a father (should a venom-spewing, phone-throwing prima donna ex-con be allowed?) . . . Actor Patrick Swayze has been given the go-ahead by doctors treating his pancreatic cancer to start filming a new TV series, 13 one-hour episodes of “The Beast” for A&E, in which he’ll play a veteran FBI agent (whoa, somebody paid a big insurance premium to make this happen!) . . . The late Anna Nicole Smith’s baby daddy Larry Birkhead has just purchased a 10,000 sq-ft, 6-bedroom home in his hometown of Louisville KY where he eventually hopes to move baby Dannielynn to grow up (apparently there was big money in ‘them there hills’) . . . And the 2nd season of “Celebrity Rehab” (VH1) has begun production THIS WEEK and rumor has it the cold-turkey cast includes Rod Stewart’s son Sean Stewart, former Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss, wannabe pop singer Aaron Carter, and retired NBA badboy Dennis Rodman (they could shoot 3 seasons simultaneously if they signed up Amy Winehouse).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Garth Brooks is the musical guest.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC/CityTV) – NERD is onstage.
• “Late Show With David Letterman (CBS) – Alanis Morissette performs “Underneath”.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno (NBC): Sheryl Crow and Justin Timberlake are guests.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Poison singer Bret Michaels (“Rock Of Love“) is on.

• AC/DC – “Wall Street Journal” reports they’ll sell their new album (out THIS FALL) exclusively through Wal-Mart Stores.
• Alabama – Former drummer Mark Herndon is being sued by the other 3 members of the disbanded group for an alleged $200,000-plus overpayment generated from merchandise sales during their 2003 “American Farewell” tour.
• Duffy – The “Mercy” singer says she’s shocked at the success she’s achieved and sometimes wishes she could ‘hide’ from the fame.
• Janet Jackson – Her “Rock Witchu” arena tour will begin SEPTEMBER 10th in Vancouver. It‘s her first full tour since 2002.
• Kellie Pickler – She’s collaborated on a tune called “Best Days Of Your Life” with Taylor Swift for her as-yet-untitled upcoming album. The country duo wrote and recorded the track together.
• Paul McCartney – He’s set to announce a massive farewell tour, according to reports. The last go-round will likely entail a 100-date stretch over 2 years.
• The Police – Their final gig ever will be AUGUST 7th at NYC’s Madison Square Garden. Tickets will only be available via donations to public television, starting JUNE 14th.
• Rick Ross – The “Boss” rapper and Foxy Brown have apparently become an item after teaming up in the studio to record new material together.
• TI – The rapper says he’s lined up 3 movies to produce and/or act in. He’s currently serving community service for a weapons conviction.

• “The Bucket List” ( Comedy ): Jack Nicholson & Morgan Freeman star as an aging corporate billionaire and an older working class mechanic who decide to go on a road trip to do everything they ever wanted to experience before they ‘kick the bucket’. Directed by Rob Reiner.
• “Jumper” ( Sci-Fi Thriller ): Hayden Christensen stars as a young guy who discovers he can teleport (‘jump’) himself to any location, an ability he decides to use to find the man who killed his mother. Co-stars Jamie Bell (“Flags Of Our Fathers”) & Rachel Bilson (“The OC”). Partially shot in Toronto & Peterborough ON. Also available in a ‘Special Edition with Digital Copy’.
• “The Other Boleyn Girl” ( Historical Drama ): Natalie Portman & Scarlett Johansson play the competitive 16th-century Boleyn sisters, Anne & Mary, who are both after the same prize … King Henry VIII (Eric Bana). Trouble is, you can lose your head over a guy like him. Shot in England.
• “Witless Protection” ( Comedy ): Larry the Cable Guy plays a small-town sheriff who witnesses what he believes is a kidnapping and rushes to rescue a woman. The kidnappers turn out to be FBI agents trying to protect a witness in a major trial … or are they?
• Also released TODAY: “Army Wives: The Complete 1st Season”; “The Dukes of Hazzard TV Double Feature”; “High Noon (2-Disc Ultimate Collector’s Edition)”; “John Adams” (TV miniseries); “7th Heaven: The 6th Season”; and “Soap: The Complete Series” (Classic TV).

• Fill-up your tank in early morning or late afternoon/evening when the temperature is coolest. Fuel is denser when cool.
• Remove excess baggage from your vehicle. Extra weight requires additional gas to get the car moving.
• Clean or change the air filter regularly. When not enough air is delivered to the engine, some of the fuel intake is wasted.
• Plan your itinerary. Planning an efficient route to the places you want to visit will save you not only gas but time.
• Avoid using the air conditioner when not really needed. It can save 40%-50% on gas consumption.
• Park your vehicle in the shade as much as possible. It’ll be a lot easier to cool the interior afterward.
• Avoid rush hour traffic by going to work and leaving at odd hours if possible, thereby avoiding long travel times and heavy traffic.
• Don’t rev your engine before switching it off. It’s unnecessary and just wastes fuel.
• Turn off your engine while waiting for long traffic lights. Idling while waiting for the green uses more fuel than re-starting the engine.
– Gomestic.com

A strange little berry from west Africa that’s been tagged ‘The Miracle Fruit’ temporarily changes how the taste buds work, making beer taste like chocolate, lemons taste like candy, Tabasco sauce resemble doughnut glaze, and brussels sprouts taste like fruit. The magic berry apparently enables the tongue to perceive bitter and sour as sweet and yummy for up to 2 hours. Restaurants in Japan have been serving it alongside unappetizing lo-cal desserts to help customers perceive they’re eating a decadent treat. While it’s just being introduced to North America, there’s no shortage of websites selling it as a dieter’s dream come true.
NET: http://www.miraclefruitman.com/
– “New York Times”

Health experts say ‘portion distortion’ is one of the reasons so many are overweight. Here are a few tips on how to downsize meals …
• Never eat directly out of the bag, box, or carton.
• Make ‘small’ your default setting when ordering food or drinks.
• Use a salad plate as your dinner plate.
• Overload your plate with vegetables and/or salad.
• Package and store leftovers BEFORE you sit down to eat.
• Quit the ‘clean plate club’. 1-in-4 of us eat everything that’s served … no matter how much.
• Contemplating seconds? Wait 10 minutes for your stomach to signal the brain that it’s full.
– “Reader’s Digest”

Studies show that the average person has  about 60,000 thoughts per day and a good number of them are negative. Research suggests that negativity drains your energy and willpower. The solution is to immediately replace a negative thought such as “My thighs look huge!” with a positive one such as “My thighs are really strong!” (Not recommended: “Oops, that’s not my thigh, that’s my left arm!”)
– “Fitness”

German scientists are attempting to build the world’s first bomb that’s … environmentally friendly. While traditional explosives leave a toxic mess behind after they’ve levelled the target and killed all the people, the new technology makes use of materials called tatrazoles which have massive explosive energy but don’t create as many deadly pollutants when they detonate. (Because there’s nothing uglier than a bomb crater without any trees.)
– LiveScience.com

• 80 miles … The average distance an infant has crawled by age 2.
• 14 minutes … The time taken for an average man to make love, according to “Men’s Health”.
• 3.5 years … The average time spent eating in the course of a lifetime.
• 66% … The percentage of drivers who admit to eating while driving.

University of British Columbia research links driving time to obesity. The study shows that people who live in neighborhoods where stores and businesses are within easy walking distance are 7% less likely to be obese than those who do more driving to get around. The study also suggests that for each 30 minutes of daily driving time, you increase your risk of becoming obese by 3%. (So if you drive faster, do you get skinnier?)
– WebMD

A Brigham Young University study suggests that overweight people miss work more often. An extensive survey of more than 10,000 employees shows that obese workers miss work twice as often as others … up to 14 days annually. (“Hi boss, I won’t be in today. I’m taking a ‘fat day’.”)
– AP

• The largest restaurant in the world can serve 6,014 diners at a time. To do so, the ‘Damascus Gate’ in Syria employs as many as 1,800 staff.
– BBC News
• It takes 772 peanuts to produce a single 16-oz jar of peanut butter.
– PeanutButter.com


1921 [87] Prince Philip Mountbatten (Philippos Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderbert-Glucksburn, Prince of Greece), Corfu, Greece, Duke of Edinburgh & Mr Queen Elizabeth II since 1947

1964 [44] Jimmy Chamberlin, Joliet IL, alt-rock drummer (Smashing Pumpkins-“Tarantula”, “1979”)

1964 [44] Kate Flannery, Philadelphia PA, TV actress (‘Meredith Palmer’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1965 [43] Elizabeth Hurley, Basingstoke UK, movie actress (“Austin Powers” films)/model (Estée Lauder)

1973 [35] Faith Evans, Lakeland FL, R&B/pop singer (“Mesmerized”, w/Puff Daddy-“I’ll Be Missing You”)/widow of Notorious BIG

1982 [26] Leelee Sobieski, NYC, movie actress (“88 Minutes”, “The Wicker Man”)

• “Iced Tea Day”, celebrating the favorite summer cooler of millions. Tea is the world’s 2nd most popular beverage … after water. Canadians drink more than 7 billion servings of tea (either hot or cold) per year.

2003 [05] Stand-up competition “Last Comic Standing” debuts on NBC-TV

2004 [04] Legendary singer Ray Charles dies of liver failure at age 73, just a few months before the hit movie “Ray” opens

2005 [03] Action comedy “Mr & Mrs Smith” opens in theaters, the film in which Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie become a couple …. onscreen & off

1925 [83] ‘United Church of Canada’ 1st opens for business (Canada’s largest Protestant denomination with more than 3 million members)

1952 [56] 1st ‘Drive-Thru Restaurant’ opens (next day, the 1st cup of boiling hot coffee spills onto a driver’s lap)

1979 [29] ‘World’s Largest Pastry’  is baked in Liestal, Switzerland … a 1,084-foot-long éclair (and gimme a keg of coffee with that, please!)

[Wed] Hug Holiday
[Thurs] Taco Day
[Thurs] Kitchen Klutzes Day
[Thurs] NXNE Festival begins (Toronto)
[Thurs] 8th Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival begins (Manchester TN)
[Fri] Blame Someone Else Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Sun] Fathers Day
This Week Is … Beef Week
This Month Is … Zoo & Aquarium Month


The once-every-4-years European soccer championship, “Euro 2008”, is underway in Switzerland & Austria, a good excuse to review some …
• Replace ball with round pinata filled with wasps.
• Give one guy on each team a powerful jet pack.
• When they score a goal, they do a shot.
• Let ’em use their damn hands!
• Naked penalty kicks.

• Is sexual harassment at work a problem for the self-employed?
• Was Einstein insulted when someone offered ‘a penny for his thoughts’?
• The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence but wouldn’t the water bills be higher?
• How come no matter what language people speak, they always sneeze in English?
• Is it time to diet when your hand is too big to fit in the Pringles canister?

A clean desk is the sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Here’s a useful site now that you practically need a bank loan to buy a tankful of gasoline. Participants keep track of how far their vehicles will still travel after the fuel gauge registers ‘E’. There’s already data on dozens of makes and models.
NET: http://tankonempty.com/

Who’s responsible when a fan is injured by unruly crowds at concerts with ‘festival seating’? (A fan who was trampled at a 2006 Korn/Mudvayne show in Denver CO is suing promoter Live Nation, the University of Denver venue, members of the bands, and … the company that owned the radio station promoting the event.)

Today’s Question: Research shows that when you say THIS to a woman, you usually get the exact opposite effect of what you’re looking for.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: “Relax.”

When arguing with a stupid person, make sure he isn’t doing the same.

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