Tuesday, June 2, 2009        Edition: #4031
Ahhhh, It’s Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

After her much-talked about emotional breakdown at her London hotel Sunday, it’s been verified 48-year-old “Britain’s Got Talent” singing sensation Susan Boyle has been admitted to the Priory, a private clinic dealing with mental health & substance abuse issues (the official diagnosis being given is ‘exhaustion’) . . . It’s now been confirmed that Nadya Suleman,  the infamous ‘Octomom’ who gave birth to octuplets in January, will star in a ‘quasi-reality’ TV show about her family of 14 children in which family events will be filmed for a documentary series (will Jon show up from “Jon & Kate”?) . . . One of the biggest media mergers ever, the 2000 melding of AOL & Time Warner, is about to come apart as AOL is severed to again become an independent company by year-end (10 years ago AOL was THE way to go online) . . . 27-year-old actress/singer Jennifer Hudson is reportedly 7-months-pregnant via her lawyer-turned-WWE wrestler boyfriend David ‘Punk’ Otunga (lawyer-turned-wrestler – now THAT’S who we’d like on retainer!) . . . “Slumdog Millionaire” director Danny Boyle is pleading with the media to leave the young Indian stars of the movie alone because the constant attention is ruining their lives (and costing him money each time he has to find them homes) . . . While promoting his new movie “The Proposal” (opening June 19), actor Ryan Reynolds has revealed he proposed to actress/wannabe singer Scarlett Johansson (“Vicky Cristina Barcelona”) by text message (they wed in September), and the hardest part was trying to ‘compress all that love, all that joy into just one text’ (“Wanna?”).

• “The Hour” (CBC) – Moby (“Disco Lies”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Taking Back Sunday promotes today’s release of the album “New Again”.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Singer/songwriter Paul Simon.
• “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” (NBC) – Season finalé.
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Green Day plugs their new album “21st Century Breakdown”.

• Akon – He claims Michael Jackson won’t be singing during “This Is It”, his upcoming 7-month London residency, instead opting to lip-sync to a pre-recorded track. Still, he says, the stage show is ‘going to be amazing’.
• Alice Cooper – Today the multi-platinum classic 1972 album, “School’s Out”, is reissued on audiophile vinyl.
• Brad Paisley – His next album, “American Saturday Night”, is set for a June 30th release. Its first single, “Then”, has become his 10th chart-topper in-a–row.
• Dr Dre – Music from his upcoming album “Detox” is being sampled in new TV ads for Dr Pepper.
• Fall Out Boy – Pete Wentz’s NYC bar Angels & Kings has been temporarily closed amid allegations staff served booze to minors. He co-owns the Manhattan venue with members of Gym Class Heroes and Cobra Starship.
• Jimi Hendrix – A new book by one of his former roadies, James ‘Tappy’ Wright, claims the rock legend was murdered by his manager as part of an insurance scam. Hendrix choked to death at age 27 but the exact circumstances of his death have always been a mystery. Michael Jeffery is said to have made a drunken confession a year after the September 1970 incident. (Nice of you to finally mention it … 40 years later!)
• Killers – Frontman Brandon Flowers & wife Tana are expecting their 2nd child. They wed in Hawaii in 2005 and already have a son named Ammon, soon to be 2.
• Lady GaGa – She tells the “Daily Star” tabloid that she’s met the Jonas Bros and would like to ‘have a foursome with them’. (Can ‘purity rings’ turn red?)
• Michael Jackson – Word has it he’s planning to launch a zombie-themed “Thriller” casino in Las Vegas next year. That may be difficult as he’s said to be more than $150 million in debt and has been sued by dozens of former associates.
• Madonna – An oil painting by Scottish artist Peter Howson depicting her nude with ex-husband Guy Ritchie has failed to meet the reserve price of $25,000 at an auction in Glasgow. (How much would you bid to never be forced to look at it?)
• Neil Young – Today his “Archives Vol 1 1963-1972” box set is finally released, a collection of 128 tracks, including 43 unreleased recordings, 3 live concerts, a 236-page book, and his debut feature film, “Journey Through the Past” (1973). The 10-disc collection is priced at about $280.


• “Defiance” ( War Drama ): Daniel Craig (“Quantum of Solace”), Liev Schreiber (“Love In the Time of Cholera”), and Jamie Bell (“Jumper”) star in this story of 3 Jewish brothers who escape from Nazi-occupied Poland to the Belarussian forest, where they help organize the largest armed rescue of Jews during WW2.
• “He’s Just Not That Into You” ( Comedy ): Based on the same-titled best-selling book of the late ‘90s, the film follows the romantic woes of an interconnected group of Baltimore singles and marrieds. Drew Barrymore produces and stars; the ensemble cast includes Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson & oodles more.
• “Revolutionary Road” ( Drama ): Leonardo DiCaprio & Kate Winslet reunite onscreen for the first time since “Titanic” in this thought-provoking portrait of a 1950s marriage from director Sam Mendes (Winslet’s real-life husband). Adapted from the groundbreaking novel by Richard Yates. The film won Winslet won a “Golden Globe Award” for ‘Best Actress – Drama’.
• Also released today: “Army Wives: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “BB King, Live At Montreux 1993” (music concert on Blu-Ray/DVD); “Inning by Inning: A Portrait Of a Coach” (documentary); “Prison Break 4: The Final Season” (TV); “Raising the Bar: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); and “Weeds: Season 4” (TV).

Requiring smokers to go outside for a puff has caused another pollution problem to worsen. San Francisco CA and other cities report that cigarette butts now account for 25% or more of the refuse tossed onto streets. Although smokers might consider cigarette butts a more ‘natural’ type of trash than, say, a plastic bottle, they are not biodegradable. Butts contain plastic filters that enter sewers and storm drains, get swept into rivers and then out to sea, where they can release toxic chemicals including nicotine, benzene, and cadmium.
– “New York Times”


This week a British digital radio station has switched formats after 18 months of playing only … the sound of birds chirping. ‘Birdsong Radio’ was only intended as temporary filler after a spoken word station went off-air, but the loop recording of ‘all birds, all the time’ became unexpectedly popular, attracting close to a half-million listeners over its run. The recording was made 20 years ago in the English country garden of Quentin Howard, now CEO of a chain of radio stations. The station’s now changed to ‘Amazing Radio’, an interactive format that features a mix of urban, rock and jazz by unsigned artists. For the bird format, click on ‘listen’ here …
NET: http://www.birdsongradio.com
– antiMusic.com

Researchers at Autonomous University of Barcelona have analyzed over a thousand cases of reported canine aggression over a decade. According to the new study, these are the dog breeds most likely to be hostile …
5. German Shepherd … No surprise: a big dog that foams at the mouth when barking.
4. Yorkshire Terrier … It’s bite is worse than its annoying yappy little bark.
3. Boxer … It’s a ‘boxer’, people! Care to step into the ring?
2. Rottweiler … What would you expect? Even the name sounds scary!
1. English Cocker Spaniel … Don’t be fooled by the coot widdle floppy ears. Cocker spaniels have also been found more likely than other dogs to act aggressively toward their owners as well as strangers.
– “Discovery News”

According to new research, we are all capable of ‘hearing’ shapes and sizes and perhaps even ‘tasting’ sounds. This blending of sensory experiences is called ‘synaesthesia’. Oxford University scientists have found that participants in experiments tend to associate lower-pitched sounds with larger, more rounded shapes. On the flip side, a small dot is most often paired with a high-pitched sound. Similarly, asked to pair foods with the made-up words ‘maluma’ or ‘takete’, brie cheese turns out to be very ‘maluma’ whereas cranberries are very ‘takete’.
– BBC News

It’s possible to overdose on ‘energy chewing gum’ that contains caffeine.
– “Telegraph”


1941 [68] Charlie Watts, Islington UK, rock drummer (Rolling Stones)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1952 [57] Gary Bettman, Queens NY, NHL commissioner since 1993/former NBA executive

1955 [54] Dana Carvey, Missoula MT, movie actor (“Wayne’s World”)/TV comic (“Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies”, “Saturday Night Live” 1986-93)

1960 [49] Kyle Petty, Randleman NC, NASCAR team owner/3rd-generation race car driver/Richard Petty’s son/Lee Petty’s grandson/father of late driver Adam Petty

1972 [37] Wentworth Miller, Chipping Norton UK, TV actor (‘Michael Scofield’ in “Prison Break” 2005-09)

1977 [32] Zachary Quinto, Pittsburgh PA, TV actor (‘Sylar’ on “Heroes” since 2006)/movie actor (‘Spock’ in “Star Trek”)

1978 [31] Justin Long, Fairfield CT, movie actor (“He’s Just Not That into You” “Dodgeball”)/actress Drew Barrymore’s former boyfriend (she’s now reportedly moved on to “Entourage” star Adrian Grenier)

1980 [29] Fabrizio Moretti, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, rock drummer (The Strokes- “Juicebox”, “Hard to Explain”)/actress Drew Barrymore’s ex-fiancé

• “Bubba Day”, honoring those formally named or just informally called ‘Bubba’. (We’re betting most of ‘em live in Dixie.)

• “Festa della Repubblica” (‘Republic Day’) in Italy, which commemorates the birth of the Repubblica Italiana and the end of the monarchy.

• “Hopping Festival”, one of the world’s strangest, celebrated in Luxembourg each Whit Tuesday (after WhitSunday). Priests, townsfolk, and pilgrims hop sideways through the town to the accompaniment of traditional music to honor St Willibrord, who died there in 739. Originally the procession hopped 3 paces forward then 2 back, but it’s become so popular the crowd now hops forward only, alternating to the left and right. (“You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out …”)

• “Leave the Office Early Day” (… and see if they let you back in tomorrow).

• “Yell Fudge At the Cobras in North America Day”. To keep the poisonous snakes off the continent, you’re supposed to go outdoors at noon and yell ‘fudge!’ (Seems to be working.)

2004 [05] Ken Jennings begins a run of 74 consecutive wins on TV game show “Jeopardy!” (eventually wins $2.5 million in cash & prizes)


1800 [209] 1st ‘Small Pox Vaccination’ (Trinity NL)

1952 [57] Debut of Canadian television (test pattern on Channel 2 Montréal)

1953 [56] 1st ‘Televised Coronation’ of a monarch (Queen Elizabeth II is crowned in Westminster Abbey 16 months after the death of her father, King George VI)

[Wed] Tailors Day
[Thurs] International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression
[Fri] World Environment Day
[Sat] Belmont Stakes (NY)
[Sat] Cheer Coach Day
[Sat] George Strait opens new Dallas Cowboys stadium
[Sat] Trails Day
[Sun] Cancer Survivors Day
This Week Is … Sun Safety Week
This Month Is … Potty Training Awareness Month


Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Today is not your lucky day; it’s tomorrow instead. At least there’s something to look forward to whilst you’re picking up your teeth with your broken arm.
• Taurus – Serendipity is right around the corner, waiting for you to bump into it. If you pause, say to try and scrape off some unspeakables from the bottom of your shoe, you might miss it.
• Gemini – Your idea of using dandruff and bad breath to help ward off unwanted advances will work. That is what you’re trying to do, right?
• Cancer – Pickles are a source of joy for you this week. Wow, exciting life you have, pal.
• Leo – The word ‘wobble’ might mean something to you today that it simply hasn’t meant before. By the way, how is that treadmill routine working out for you?
• Virgo – Seek solace in the bosom of a loved one. If your loved one has a particularly ample bosom, be aware that there might be others already in there. Help the small ones.
• Libra – The longest ‘friends list’ in the world won’t make up for the fact you are socially retarded. Just sayin’.
• Scorpio – Your appetites may diminish today. That’s the kind of thing that happens when you fall into a vat of gravy with no inside ladder.
• Sagittarius – This week you will be glad of a loved one’s ability to almost painlessly remove splinters from your backside. Ahhh!
• Capricorn – Remember, smiles help the world go round … especially when the smiles are accompanied by dirty big wads of cash.
• Aquarius – The number ‘10′ may be given added significance today and will randomly pop up in everyday conversations. 10.
• Pisces – Love will no longer be just another 4-letter-word to you today. It will also be your average score at the tennis club, loser.
– Adapted from LaughsEnd.net.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever bought from a vending machine? (Worldwide, there are actual vending machines that dispense everything from pizza to gold, neckties, pet beetles, and even dog washes.)

There’s something kinda creepy about this. ‘Litter Kwitter’ is touted as the original 3-step cat toilet-training system. What we want to know is, do they learn to put the seat down afterward?
NET: http://www.litterkwitter.com.au

All I want is a chance to prove that money means nothing to me!

Today’s Question: The woman who invented THIS was laughed at, but nowadays most of us own at least 2 of them.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Windshield wiper.


If the shoe fits … get another one just like it.

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