Thursday, June 4, 2009        Edition: #4033
You Really Know Your Sheet!

According to new figures from Nielsen Online, total minutes spent at MySpace fell 31% in April from a year ago, while time spent on Facebook rose 699%, and time spent on Twitter is up a whopping 3,712% (a year ago not many of us had heard of it) . . . Warner Music Group chairman/CEO Edgar Bronfman Jr (former CEO of Montréal-based Seagram) is moving to London and will run the company from there & NYC for at least 2 years (also home to EMI and Simon Cowell, London is becoming the world’s music center) . . . 45-year-old actor & prolific dad Brad Pitt has told his “Inglourious Basterds” co-star Eli Roth he often doesn’t have time to shower and freshens up by rubbing baby wipes under the armpits (quote: “I’ve got 6 kids … I’m getting peed on all day!”) . . . A source tells “National Enquirer” NY Yankees baseball star Alex ‘A-Rod’ Rodriguez has had a crush on his new actress-girlfriend Kate Hudson for 8 eight years, after watching her in the movie “Almost Famous” dozens of times (creepy, she was playing an underage groupie!) . . . “American Idol” runner-up Adam Lambert has reportedly been spotted dancing with interior designer Drake LaBry at a Hollywood nightclub (perhaps answering the question so many have asked) . . . And “American Idol” producer FremantleMedia is suing to stop the weekly “Stripper Idol” contest at Palazio Men’s Club in Austin TX, claiming trademark violation by the amateur stripping contest for using a similar logo to the TV show, which could ‘mislead the public’ (uh, it’s doubtful many would confuse the pair).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Keith Urban (“Kiss a Girl”).
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Randy Bachman (Guess Who, BTO).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Primetime special at 8 pm (thanks to the NBA Final) features Will Ferrell and Eminem.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – The Doves (“Kingdom of Rust”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Elvis Costello (“Secret, Profane & Sugarcane”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The top 20 dancers are chosen.
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – John Mayer Trio.

• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – After selling out 3 shows at Giants Stadium this Fall, they’ve now added 2 more on October 8 & 9. They’ll be the final act to ever perform at the legendary stadium in the NJ Meadowlands.
• Cher – The 63-year-old Vegas entertainer has filed suit against Universal Music Group, claiming the company has shortchanged her and the heirs of her late ex-husband, Sonny Bono, to the tune of $5 million. When Sonny & Cher divorced in 1977, they agreed to split revenue from the songs recorded together.
• Eminem – While he was busy being sat on by Sacha Baron Chen at the “MTV Movie Awards”, his hotel room was being burgled of a $60,000 diamond necklace, his personal laptop, and other items.
• LeAnn Rimes –  Brandi Glanville, wife of actor Eddie Cibrian whom Rimes allegedly had an affair with, tells “Us Weekly” LeAnn is a stalker who’s obsessed with Eddie and refuses to quit constantly calling and texting. (At least that’s how he explained it to the wife.)
• Madonna – She’ll play Tel Aviv September 1st as the last stop on her “Sticky & Sweet” world tour. She last performed in Israel in 1993. The “S&S” tour began last August in Cardiff, Wales.
• Michael Jackson – Speaking to fans outside the LA studio where he’s rehearsing for the upcoming O2 arena shows in London, he’s reportedly said: “I only wanted to do 10, and take the tour around the world to other cities, not 50 in one place.”
• Nelly Furtado – She’s set to release her first album recorded entirely in Spanish, according to “Billboard”. She’s also announced a Portuguese language album via her MySpace blog.
• Rise Against – Tonight they kick off a North American tour in Vancouver. Rancid co-headlines.
• Taylor Swift – On her MySpace blog she says she’s glad her dad is with her on tour because he keeps her grounded, but his odd sense of humor sometimes leaves her embarrassed. (That’s a dad’s job, isn’t it?)
• T-Wayne – Lil Wayne and T-Pain are still working on a collaborative album. T-Pain tells MTV News that 12 tracks are in the can but there’s no deadline for releasing the project.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Hamlet” – “Twilight” director Catherine Hardwicke’s retelling of Shakespeare’s classic tragedy will move the action from Denmark to a modern-day American liberal arts college, where the lead character’s late father was the president. The idea was hatched by actor Emile Hirsch (“Milk”, “Into the Wild”), who’ll play the lead in the supernatural thriller.
• “The Surrogate” – Halle Berry is in talks to star in director Paul Verhoeven’s new thriller about a couple who hire a surrogate to carry their child, then find out mid-term that she’s totally mad. Berry would play the mom-to-be who discovers her child’s birth-mother is insane.
• “Total Recall” – First “Terminator”, now this 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi thriller is about to get a remake. It follows a man haunted by recurring dreams about traveling to Mars – where he’s never been – and a woman he’s never met (Sharon Stone in the original). It’s yet to be announced who’s being considered for the lead role in the ‘contemporized adaptation’.
• “Your Highness” – “Pineapple Express” co-stars James Franco & Danny McBride are set to re-team in this medieval story about 2 spoiled & arrogant princes. Natalie Portman co-stars as a warrior princess. The comedy is set to shoot in Belfast, Northern Ireland starting next month.

• A 30-year-old Chinese man has lost his hand after it was ripped off at the wrist during a … tug-of-war contest. He was rushed to hospital, where it was reattached in a 5-hour operation.
• A 17-year-old in Albuquerque NM has been arrested for breaking into a funeral home and … beating a woman’s corpse. It’s an odd crime, considering it wasn’t even someone he knew.
– ABC News
• A 34-year-old teacher at a Manvel TX high school has been arrested for being drunk on-the-job and kissing one of his students … on her back. He’s charged with public intoxication and assault by contact.
– “Houston Chronicle”
• Phoenix AZ police have arrested a 20-year-old man for sexually assaulting his girlfriend while she was passed out and … webcasting the incident online. He’s charged with assault and taking surreptitious photos.
– Fox News
• Canadian entrepreneur Carolyne Braid is part of a global community that’s lobbying to make pole dancing … an Olympic sport. Initially associated with strip clubs and wads of small bills, pole dancing is becoming increasingly common as a workout routine. Braid is owner of Pole Dancing Winnipeg.
– cNews
• An unidentified Israeli woman has been captured on closed circuit TV in an apparent suicide attempt, laying herself between railway tracks just before a train roars through a crossing. But when  the train passes above her at high speed and she appears uninjured, she calmly gets up, picks up her shoes, and walks to her car.
– AP
• In Vassalboro, Maine a 3-alarm fire has destroyed the Grand View Coffee Shop, which gained widespread media attention in February when it opened with waiters and waitresses … who work topless. The owner says the business’s future is uncertain as he doesn’t have insurance.


A 72-year-old Dutch psychotherapist who’s set up shop in Nepal is now offering to help cure chronic pain and illness using … ‘reincarnation therapy’. Peter Langedijk claims people who experience pains with no apparent cause are suffering from problems associated with their past lives. When they are taken back there in therapy, the pain dogging them for years can be cured in as little as a half-hour. Langedijk uses a combination of hypnotism and relaxation techniques to heal the problem areas once and for all. (No wonder I suffer morning sickness.)


British researchers are developing menus to combat climate change by cutting out ‘high-carbon’ foods such as lamb and beef. A government-sponsored study into greenhouse gases has found that producing 1 kg (2.2 lbs) of lamb releases the equivalent of 17 kg (37 lbs) of carbon dioxide. The problem is due to the fact that sheep burp so much methane, a potent greenhouse gas. Cows are only slightly better. The production of 1 kg (2.2 lbs) of beef releases the methane equivalent of 16 kg (35 lbs) of CO2. (Give up rack of lamb and save the planet!)
– “Times of London”


Highlights from a recent poll of employees about reasons they’ve taken sick days …
• 56% admit they’ve taken time off due to a hangover. (“I can’t come in, I’ve got the 26-ounce flu.”)
• 52% of those under 30 say they’ve called in sick so they could stay in bed with their partner. 24% of over-50s have done the same thing. (“I can’t come in, something’s come up.”)
• 25% have invented a death in the family to get time off. (“I can’t come in, my grandmother died … again.”)

29-year-old Desmond Hatchett of Knoxville TN has apparently set at least an American record  by fathering 21 children with 11 women. He even boasts of fathering 4 kids by different mothers in a single year. His hyper-activated procreation has only come to light after Tennessee authorities took him to court for non-payment of child support. The state plans to take half his monthly salary for support but that only works out to … a few dollars per child.
– “Globe & Mail”

Half of all millionaires have lost 30% or more of their fortunes during the worldwide financial crisis.
– “Wall Street Journal”

“I had to grow the hair down there. But because of years of waxing, as all of us girls know, it doesn’t come back quite the way it used to. They even made me a merkin – a wig – because they were so concerned that I might not be able to grow enough.”
– Actress Kate Winslet telling “Allure” magazine way more than we wanted to know about her Oscar-winning performance in “The Reader”.


1974 [35] Stefan Lessard, Anaheim CA, alt-rock bassist (Dave Matthews Band-“Big Whiskey & The GrooGrux King”)

1975 [34] Russell Brand, Grays UK, comedian/TV personality (“2008 MTV Video Music Awards”)/movie actor (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, “Bedtime Stories”)  COMING UP: Now shooting the comedy “Get Him to the Greek”, scheduled for release in April 2010.

1975 [34] Angelina Jolie (Voight), LA CA, movie actress (“Changeling”, “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider”)/2000 Academy Award (“Girl, Interrupted”)/daughter of Academy Award-winning actor Jon Voight/actor Brad Pitt’s partner since 2005/mother to Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh, Pax, and twins Knox & Vivienne)/Mrs Billy Bob Thornton (2000-03)  UP NEXT: Stars in the spy thriller “Salt”, now shooting for a 2010 release.

1985 [24] Bar Refaeli, Hod HaSharon, Israel, fashion model (“Sports Illustrated”)/Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend since 2005  FACTOID: Israeli Major General Elazar Stern is enraged that she’s apparently wed & immediately divorced a family friend in order to avoid mandatory military service. He’s urging a boycott of all products she endorses.

1990 [19] Zac Farro, Franklin TN, rock drummer (Paramore-“Decode”, “Crushcrushcrush”)

• “Cheese Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of the creation of the first Roquefort cheese, made from ewes’ milk and ripened in a cave near Roquefort, France in the year 1070. It’s the perfect excuse to indulge yourself with a slice of your favorite.

• “Hug Your Cat Day”, a day to disclaim the common belief that cats don’t like affection. So ignore the hisses and pet your puss! Be sure to keep lots of band-aids handy!

• “International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression”, a United Nations observance established in 1982. There are approximately 50 million uprooted refugees around-the-world who have sought safety in another country. Around half of them are children.

• “Old Maid’s Day”, a truly outdated observance initiated back in 1948 for unmarried women over age 35. Nowadays 35 is when a woman begins THINKING about having kids (and when a man begins thinking about DATING kids).

• “St Quirinus’ Day”, the patron saint against earaches, gout, and hemorrhoids. (He must have been a real pain!)

2004 [05] “Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban” opens in movie theaters (eventually grosses close to $800 million worldwide)  FACTOID: “The Wizarding World of Harry Potter” theme park, part of the Universal Resort in Orlando FL, is slated to open in 2010.

1969 [40] The Beatles release the single “The Ballad Of John & Yoko”

1838 [171] 1st recorded ‘Baseball Game’ (by some accounts) is played in Beachville ON (contrary to that Abner Doubleday fable many buy into)

1937 [72] 1st ‘Shopping Cart’, invented by Oklahoma’s Sylvian Goldman (next day, 27 of them are found abandoned behind his apartment building, half with one wonky wheel)

1988 [21] World record for ‘Hackey-Sack’ (foot bag) set at 48,825 consecutive kicks

[Fri] World Environment Day
[Fri] “Land Of the Lost”; “Hangover”; “My Life in Ruins” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Cheer Coach Day
[Sat] George Strait opens new Dallas Cowboys stadium
[Sun] Cancer Survivors Day
[Sun] Write To Your Father Day
This Week Is … Business Etiquette Week
This Month Is … Celibacy Awareness Month


• Whyzit the third hand on a clock is called the second hand?
• Whyzit every time you make ends meet, they move the ends?
• Whyzit ‘overlook’ and ‘oversee’ mean opposite things?
• Whyzit as soon as you’re doing what you want to be doing you want to be doing something else?
• Whyzit the people who look the worst in shorts are the ones who take up jogging?
• Whyzit there are so many ways to die but only one to be born?


What less-than-flattering nicknames did you have for your teachers in high school?

Never moon a werewolf.

Today’s Question: If a woman has THIS it will make her look 7 lbs lighter.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A tan.


Nothing is sometimes the best thing to say.

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