Monday, June 8, 2009        Edition: #4035
Sheet For Brains!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Members of actor David Carradine’s family have threatened legal action after a Thai newspaper has allegedly published crime scene photos of the hotel room where he died.
The “Kill Bill” star’s partially clad body was discovered hanging in a Bangkok hotel suite Thursday. A statement from his rep indicates the actor may have died of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Carradine’s body has been flown home to the US and is expected to undergo a second autopsy in a bid to confirm the cause of death. (Sad … after almost a half-century of acting, this will be his legacy.)
– ContactMusic.com
• “The Hills” star Heidi Montag-Pratt was briefly hospitalized Saturday for what’s been diagnosed as a gastric ulcer after taking part in a stunt on the reality show “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!” (NBC). She & hubby Spencer Pratt were forced to spend 3 days in a darkened room living on only water and rice & beans as ‘punishment’ for quitting the show. The stunt is said to have left Heidi sick and vomiting. (Some of the best acting she’s ever done!)
– TMZ.com
• Actress Angelina Jolie has reportedly decided to marry Brad Pitt in an effort to quash rumors that their relationship is rocky. The parents of 6 kids have been partners for 4 years. An insider says usually it’s Brad who wants to talk marriage but this time it’s Angelina, who’s decided it’s best they wed to put an end to all the speculation. Brad is said to be thrilled. (A marriage license will prevent the press from taking pot shots? Dream on!)
– “Sunday Mirror”
• 38-year-old actress Denise Richards (“Denise Richards: It’s Complicated”) has admitted she’s on her 4th pair of boobs, confessing she went under the knife for the first time when at age 19 in a bid to boost her profile in Hollywood. Along the way she’s had 2 botched enhancements that had to be corrected. Her advice: don’t do it! (Whenever she goes to a pool hall and someone says rack ‘em up … she phones her surgeon.)
– StarPulse.com
• Police were called to the Michigan set of Robert De Niro’s new film “Stone” on Friday after he was accosted by a drunken female fan. Production on the film, shooting in Detroit & Ypsilanti, was halted after the drunk woman somehow managed to bypass security and approach the star. She was Breathalized and subsequently admitted to a local hospital. It’s not known if she’ll face charges. (Groping under the influence? Misdemeanor movie mania?)
– IANS
• 23-year-old “Transformers” actress Megan Fox claims several top movie directors have tried to bed her since she found fame. She says she’s shocked to have made moves on her during casting interviews and she immediately turns them down. She also claims to have been hit on by numerous egocentric actors on movie sets, whom she’s unceremoniously shot down right in front of the film crew. Unfortunately, she refuses to name names. (Ed Asner maybe?)
– “GQ”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “The Bachelorette” (ABC/CityTV) – The remaining 13 suitors visit Jillian Harris in her hometown (Peace River AB); 10 of them are invited on a curling date.
• Challenge America – Country couple Vince Gill & Amy Grant host this Washington DC concert to fund programs for disabled veterans. Performers include Alison Krauss and Darius Rucker.
NET: http://www.challengeamerica.com/challenge_america/
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Rascal Flatts (“Unstoppable”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Airborne Toxic Event (“Wishing Well”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Ting Tings (“That’s Not My Name”).
• “MTV Unplugged” – The stripped-down performance show returns this summer with a monthly program online at unplugged.mtv.com. Tonight a performance by Adele debuts. Ensuing programs include performances by Silversun Pickups, Katy Perry, and Paramore.
• “Weeds” ( Showtime ) – Mary-Louise Parker returns in the 5th season premiere.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alan Jackson – This summer he’ll perform in Europe for the first time since 1990, playing shows in Denmark, Sweden, and Norway in August.
• Britney Spears – She’s prepared to take a $600,000 hit on her Beverly Hills estate which has so far failed to sell. She bought it for $7.1 million in 2007 but has now listed it for $6.5 million. She’s currently leasing a larger home in Calabasas CA. Meantime, buzz has it more than one of her dancers flew in from Amsterdam for her UK concerts and failed a mandatory backstage drug test. Hasty replacements have been recruited.
• Estelle – She says she can’t wait to complete her new album because she’s sick of singing her hit “American Boy”. Among those collaborating on the project: will.i.am from Black Eyed Peas.
• George Strait – His latest album, “Troubadour”, has been certified Platinum by the RIAA for shipments of 1 million copies. Strait now has 33 platinum or multi-platinum albums.
• Madonna – “Mail on Sunday” reports she’s set to turn her attentions to orphanages in the African country of Lesotho if her appeal to adopt Mercy James from Malawi is turned down.
• Michael Jackson – Only 5 weeks to go until his 50-show extravaganza supposedly hits London. Word has it elephants are involved. There doesn’t seem to be any evidence of him actually singing onstage since the “HIStory” tour of 1997.
• Pearl Jam – Tonight frontman Eddie Vedder kicks off a rare 12-show solo tour in Albany NY. The group is currently working on the next studio album, expected out before the end of 2009.

“R&R” R.I.P.:
Sad to see that Friday’s edition of “Radio & Records” was the last issue ever, another victim of the recession. The trade mag has been a radio biz staple since 1973, although a less stellar source after it was acquired by “Billboard” owner AC Nielsen in 2006. The website has already been taken offline.
– BS original

10 REASONS TO NAP:
Need a good excuse to sneak a nap this afternoon? Here are enough to last a week or more from Sara Mednick, a sleep medicine researcher at the University of California at San Diego and author of “Take a Nap! Change Your Life” …
• Increases your on-the-job alertness by 100%.
• Regenerates skin cells so you look younger.
• Increases your sex drive.
• Helps you lose weight by altering metabolism and shifting chemicals that affect appetite.
• Lifts your mood by bathing your brain in the neurotransmitter serotonin.
• Speeds up your ability to perform motor tasks, like keyboarding or operating machinery.
• Improves your accuracy … in everything.
• Puts your brain into its creative gear so you can come up with fresh ideas.
• Boosts your ability to learn something new … and remember it.
• Makes you feel good all over.
– Condensed from BestHealthMag.ca.

MAKING THINGS EASIER TO LOSE:

Scientists at Sony’s Tokyo labs are working to redesign comparatively bulky electronic devices so that they’ll fit into small pockets. The plan is to create handheld computers, cellphones and portable game consoles that fold up for carrying but quickly become rigid for use. The body and screen of the folding gadgets will be made from flexible material that becomes erect as rubber bracing fills with a silicone gel. (Whatever you’re thinking right now … stop it!)
– “Wired”

HOW TO EASE BRAIN FREEZE:
How come when you eat or slurp something too cold too fast you get a headache?  Dr Frederick Freitag of Chicago’s Diamond Headache Clinic says it’s because the cranial nerve in the back of the roof of your mouth reacts quickly to tell your brain that your whole head is cold. Hence, the excruciating ‘ice cream headache’. Fortunately Freitag has an easy solution: since your tongue has higher blood flow, it reheats more quickly. So pushing it up against the roof of your mouth will re-warm the soft palate and calm your cranial nerve. (What else have you tried that works?)
– “Esquire”

WHY WOMEN DATE JERKS:
A recent poll of women asks why so many put up with dating ‘bad boys’ …
• 36% put up with crap from men because it makes the good times seem even sweeter.
• 27% don’t care if their guy checks out other women because they believe he ‘can’t help it’.
• 13% date bad boys because they think they can change them.
• 5% would go out and have an affair of their own if they found out their man was cheating.
– “Maxim”

FOR YOUR BONES’ SAKE, GET JUICED:

You’ve no doubt heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Now it seems that if it includes orange or grapefruit juice, you’ll have better odds your bones will never crack up. In Texas A&M University testing, orange and grapefruit juice regularly given to lab rats prevented osteoporosis, long considered an unavoidable aging disease in which bones become more brittle. (The research was carried out at the college’s ‘Minute Maid School of Medicine’.)
– ANI Health & Science

BIZARRE CELEBRITY DEATHS:

Obviously none of these are condoned, encouraged or admired, but they sure are wonky …
• Chris Chubbuck, newscaster (WXLT Sarasota FL): Shot herself during TV newscast. (1974).
• Donny Hathaway, pop singer (“Where Is the Love”) – Jumped from 15th floor of NYC’s Essex House Hotel (1979).
• Peg Entwistle, film actress (“13 Women”): Jumped from the ‘H’ in the ‘Hollywood’ sign (1932).
• Ray Combs, TV host (“Family Feud”): Hanged himself with bed sheets (1996).
• Michael Hutchence, rock singer (INXS): Hanged himself in the Sydney, Australia Ritz-Carlton Hotel; thought by many to be auto-erotic asphyxiation (1997).
• Terry Kath, rock guitarist (Chicago): Russian roulette (1978).
• Virginia Woolf, author (“Mrs Dalloway”) – Self-drowning by filling overcoat pockets with stones (1941).
– Adapted from Corisnet.com.

ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM!
Highlights of a recent insurance company poll on driving …
• 60% of drivers change lanes on a highway without using their turn signal.
• 50% admit they do not know how to merge into heavy traffic.
• 33% speed up to make a yellow light even when pedestrians are in the crosswalk.
• 25% roll through a stop sign rather than coming to a complete stop.
• 17% have driven without a rearview or driver’s side mirror.
• 10% would fail a driving test if they had to take it today.
Yikes, be careful out there!
– AOL Autos

DID YOU KNOW?

The most prolific 10% of Twitter users account for over 90% of tweets. Most of them are men.
– PopBitch.com

BS CHRONOMETER 06.08.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [76] Joan Rivers (Molinsky), Brooklyn NY, loudmouth comedian/TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” winner 2009)

1957 [52] Scott Adams, Windham NY, comic strip cartoonist (“Dilbert”)

1958 [51] Keenen Ivory Wayans, NYC, movie producer/director/screenwriter (“Dance Flick”, “White Chicks”)/movie actor (“Scary Movie”)/brother of actors Shawn, Damon, Marlon & Kim Wayans

1978 [31] Kanye West, Atlanta GA, egocentric rap artist/producer (“Stronger”, “Gold Digger”)

1981 [28] Sara Watkins, Santa Monica CA, bluegrass/folk music fiddler (Nickel Creek-“Smoothie Song”)

1985 [24] Alexandre Despatie, Montréal QC, Canadian senior diving champion (3-time World Champion, 2 Olympic silvers 2004/2008)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Best Friends Day”, a day to salute our BFFs for being there … when nobody else is.

• “Name Your Poison Day”. Let’s say you can have all you want of one bad-for-you thing for the rest of your life without any repercussions. What would you pick: Milk chocolate? Sirloin steak? Buckets of beer?

• “World Brain Tumor Day”, a day of awareness of the malady that’s killed off almost as many soap opera stars as heart attacks.

• “World Oceans Day”, a UN observance to honor our oceans, their marine life, and their  sea-lanes that enable international trade.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [11] Surviving Beatles sing “Let It Be” at the ‘Linda McCartney Tribute’ memorial held in London UK

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1824 [185] 1st practical ‘Washing Machine’ developed by Noah Cushing of Québec (who was tired of bashing his underwear against St Lawrence River rocks)

1869 [140] 1st ‘Vacuum Cleaner’ patented by JW McGaffey of Chicago IL (even though his wife tells him, “JW, your invention sucks!”)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1983 [26] Charlos Vieira begins 191 hours of ‘Non-Stop Cycling’ in Leiria, Portugal

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Donald Duck’s 75th Birthday
[Thurs] Nursing Assistants Day
[Thurs] Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival opens (Manchester TN)
[Thurs] CMA Music Festival opens (Nashville TN)
[Fri] US TV signals go digital

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Automotive Service Professionals Week / Business Etiquette Week / Clay Week / Headache Awareness Week / International Clothesline Week / Nursing Assistants Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
THOROUGHBRED HORSE OR ADULT MOVIE TITLE?
You run down the list rapid-fire while your contestant decides whether each is the name of a thoroughbred racehorse (from Saturday’s Belmont Stakes) or an odd listing from “The 100 Worst XXX Movie Titles” …
• Chocolate Candy [Horse]
• Airtight Granny [Movie]
• Beeping Miss Buffy [Movie]
• Mr Hot Stuff [Horse]
• Luv Gov [Horse]
• Flying Private [Horse]
• The Fat, The Bald & The Ugly [Movie]
• Bumpin’ Donuts [Movie]
• Kiss My Mark [Horse]
• Red Hot Cho Chos [Movie]

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I had my palm read on the weekend. I found out I will spend the rest of my life in the future.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: This can cause a man to gain an average of 14 lbs.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: His partner’s pregnancy. (“Today Show”)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you can’t see the bright side, polish the dull side.


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