Friday, June 12, 2009          Edition: #4039
100% Grade A Bull!

Horror movie master Wes Craven is planning 3 new films in the “Scream” franchise, and Hollywood acting couple David Arquette & Courteney Cox are said to be onboard for a return (it’s not like they’re busy doing anything else) . . . A new prison mug shot released by California corrections officials reveals that 69-year-old famously wild-haired music producer Phil Spector is, in fact, bald! . . . 23-year-old “Transformers” actress Megan Fox says it is too hard for her to perform everyday chores like grocery shopping now that she’s famous, so she has to have people to do them for her (don’t worry, you’ve only got about 7 years left before you’re ‘too old’) . . . This week Brit actor Hugh Grant has been involved in another messy clash with paparazzi, reportedly kicking one photog in the crotch during a night out in NYC (in 2007, he famously threw a crock of baked beans on a London snapper) . . . “Imagine That” actor Eddie Murphy has laughed off reports he’s competing to play ‘The Riddler’ in the next “Batman” sequel, insisting he ‘hasn’t been approached’ about it (BS translation: let me plant the seed here) . . . And just days after he spoke about a possible long-term commitment, Paris Hilton has reportedly dumped her latest boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt (“The Hills”), with a media announcement from her publicist; but unfortunately no one bothered to inform the poor mook who’s blabbed to E! Online that everything’s okay (another example of her cruelty to animals).

• “American Idol” – Hard to believe but auditions for season 9 begin today in Boston MA, more than a month earlier than usual. They won’t be attended by the show’s judges, who don’t show up until separate call-backs later on in the summer.
• Bonnaroo Music & Art Festival (Manchester TN) – Tonight the 4-day festival’s 2nd night features David Byrne (ex-Talking Heads) helming the event’s first-ever ‘artist-curated stage’ in which he’s chosen the line-up and the material.
• Digital TV – Today any remaining analog US TV signals go digital. Here’s what that means …
• “Good Morning America” (ABC): This morning Jonas Bros promote the upcoming album “Lines, Vines & Trying Times” (out next week).
• Guitars Of the Stars Benefit Auction (Nashville TN) – Today country fans have the opportunity to bid on ‘star guitars’ at the Ryman Auditorium. Among the contributors: Carrie Underwood, Dierks Bentley, Dolly Parton, Keith Urban, and Sugarland.
• “Guys & Dolls” – The musical revival on Broadway is set to close Sunday after failing to pick up any “Tony Awards”, which might have generated renewed interest in the show.
• “The Hour” (CBC): Tonight Moby promotes the new album “Wait for Me”, out June 30.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Green Day makes the last of 4 appearances in-a-row, masquerading as their online alter-egos, Foxboro Hot Tubs.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC): Tonight Mary J Blige (“The One”).
• Shanghai International Film Festival – Saturday the 12th edition of China’s most prestigious film fest gets underway. “Slumdog Millionaire” director Danny Boyle chairs the jury which also includes actress Andie MacDowell. They’ll decide who wins the 9-day event’s coveted ‘Jin Jue Award’.
• “Spectacle: Elvis Costello With …” (CTV) – Tonight Lou Reed (“Metal Machine Trio”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Jamie Foxx (“Blame It”).
• “Today Show” (NBC): Black Eyed Peas are all over TV today, appearing later on “The View” (ABC/CTV) and “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) this afternoon.

• Echo & The Bunnymen – Saturday NASA astronaut Timothy Kopra is scheduled to blast off for the International Space Station, transporting a copy of his favorite album, their 1984 classic “Ocean Rain”.
• The Fray – Tonight they kick off a 35-city summer headlining tour in Atlanta GA.
• Kenny Chesney – Sunday he’s the closing performer at the “CMA Music Festival” in Nashville. The final concert at LP Field also includes Taylor Swift, John Rich, Miranda Lambert, Montgomery Gentry, and Jack Ingram.
• Lily Allen – She’s hidden numerous tickets in public places throughout her current world tour, using Twitter to give fans clues to find them. Seemed like a fun idea until one eager fan broke a finger in the recent scramble for duckets at Bondi Beach in Sydney, Australia.
• Linkin Park – Today guitarist Brad Delson addresses UCLA’s Class of 2009. “Spider-Man” actor James Franco was originally scheduled but student protests that he wasn’t qualified caused him to cancel, citing ‘scheduling conflicts’. Delson graduated from UCLA in 1999.
• Pussycat Dolls – Nicole Scherzinger is considering a break from music to concentrate on launching a movie career. She’s in negotiations for a role in an upcoming bio-pic about Filipino boxer Manny ‘Pacman’ Pacquiao. After already ticking off the group over solo ambitions, this could be issue that finally causes a break-up.
• Wilco – Tonight they begin a North American summer tour in Cincinnati OH.

• “Imagine That” ( PG Fantasy Comedy ): Eddie Murphy plays a financial executive in a career down-spiral who is invited into his daughter’s imaginary world, where solutions to his problems await. Co-stars Thomas Haden Church & Vanessa Williams. Filmed on location in Denver CO.
• “Moon” ( Limited Release R-Rated Sci-fi Thriller ): This story will seem familiar to fans of “2001: A Space Odyssey”. Sam Rockwell plays an astronaut attempting to return from a solo stint on the Moon, where his job is to cull energy to bring back to Earth. His journey is complicated by a controlling robot (voiced by Kevin Spacey).
• “The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Denzel Washington plays a public transit dispatcher who goes up against the mastermind of a subway hijacking (John Travolta) who’s holding passengers hostage. A remake of a 1998 TV movie that in turn was a remake of a 1974 feature film. Shot entirely in NYC.

With the cost of jet fuel mushrooming again airlines are looking for every conceivable way to cut costs, including weight reduction. Japanese airline JAL took everything normally loaded on a 747 and spread it out on the floor of a school gym to see what could be eliminated. The result? It shaved a fraction of a centimeter off its cutlery to reduce weight. Other airlines have made similar cuts, such as excluding spoons from cutlery packets and dropping in-flight magazines. (How about banning the fat lady we always get stuck sitting beside?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

While there’s no doubt they’re comfy, rubber flip-flops aren’t really meant to be worn beyond the pool. The problem, say podiatrists, who see a spike in visits to their offices in the summer months, is that we’ll walk in flip-flops everywhere from the park to the beach and back to the office without regard to the damage we’re doing to our feet. The inadequate support of the foot over prolonged periods leads to a strain in arch ligaments, which can cause severe pain in the heel and arch known as ‘plantar fasciitis’. (Is that a peanut product?)

As payback for all the humans who’ve had to suffer humiliating anal probes comes the incredibly useful website ‘How to Cook an Alien’. Along with many reasons for eating our intergalactic visitors (‘they ate Elvis; they are Kosher’) comes excellent advice as to their different flavors (reptoid meat is lowest in fat & cholesterol); tips on how to catch an alien (lay a trail of M&Ms and the creature will blindly follow); and plenty of great alien recipes, such as ‘Mixed Alien Gumbo’, ‘Minced Reptoid’, and ‘Three-Alien Pizza’. Bon appetit!
– “Curious Times”


According to a new ranking by TV fans, these are the best episodes ever …
5. Pilot episode … “Lost” (2004).
4. “Lucy Does a TV Commercial” … “I Love Lucy” (1952).
3. “Chuckles Bites The Dust” … “Mary Tyler Moore Show” (1975).
2. “College” … “The Sopranos” (1999).
1. “The Contest” … “Seinfeld (1992).
– “TV Guide”

Due to Earth’s gravity, it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters, about 49,000 ft. (Denise Richards has tried to defy this principle … numerous times.)

“Sometimes I feel I’m living a meaningless life. I don’t understand what it is I do that people want. I don’t know what an actor does. I have no credentials. I don’t know what I’m doing. To my mind, talent doesn’t really exist. Talent is like a card player’s luck. I think acting is a con game.”
– Actor Shia LaBeouf in “Parade” magazine, sounding way old for his just-turned-23 years.


1924 [85] George HW Bush, Milton MA, 41st US President (1989-93)/Dubya’s dad

1941 [68] Marv Albert, Brooklyn NY, TV sportscaster/’The Voice of Basketball’ (NBA-TV, TNT)

1981 [28] Adriana Lima, Salvador, Brazil, fashion model (Victoria’s Secret, Maybelline)

1985 [24] Kendra Wilkinson, San Diego CA, TV personality (“Kendra” 2009, “The Girls Next Door” 2005-08)/former Hugh Hefner girlfriend/former “Playboy” Playmate/engaged to wed NFL player Hank Baskett June 27 at Playboy Mansion  FACTOID: Hefner will reportedly be named their expected baby’s godfather.

Movie actor Tim Allen (“Wild Hogs”) is 56; Rock singer/guitarist Rivers Cuomo (Weezer) is 39; TV personality Steve-O (“Dancing With the Stars”, Jackass”) is 35; Country singer Jason Michael Carroll (“Where I’m From”) is 31; Movie actor Chris Evans (“Fantastic Four”) is 28; Entrepreneur twins Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen are 23.

Businessman-TV personality Donald Trump (“The Apprentice”) is 63.

• “Red Rose Day”, an annual celebration of the most popular cut flower. Also one of the most expensive!
• “Taco Day”, a day to stuff a hard tortilla shell with your favorite hot ‘n spicy fillings. (Tomorrow is “Unbearable Cramps Day”. )
• “World Day Against Child Labor”, an annual observance since 2002 created by the International Labor Organization to raise awareness and activism against child labor for economic or military purposes.

• “Croquet Day”, saluting that other game that requires hitting balls on grass.
• “Kitchen Klutzes Day”, celebrating not-so-accomplished cooks by encouraging them to prepare a recipe that contains no more than 4 ingredients, not including water, salt & pepper. (What’s the easiest dinner to make? ‘Wiener Water Soup’?)
• “World Naked Bike Ride” when naturists in 70 cities in 20 countries worldwide take to the streets on bicycles to protest oil dependency and to ‘celebrate the power and individuality of our bodies’. In Canada, groups have been organized to participate in Halifax, Montréal, Ottawa, Toronto, Winnipeg, and Victoria.

• “Children’s Sunday”, an annual salute on the 2nd Sunday in June to the wee folk.
• “Family History Day”, a day to ‘share the folklore, legends and myths of your own particular family tree’. There’s a lot of sap in [co-host’s].
• “World Blood Donor Day”, honoring those who give up time to make the effort to donate blood on a regular basis. A round of these pints can actually save lives!

1981 [28] “Raiders Of the Lost Ark” opens, introducing adventurer ‘Indiana Jones’ to movie fans

1984 [25] Movie star & diehard LA Lakers fan Jack Nicholson moons a group of Boston Celtics supporters in the Boston Garden (please, don’t be showing us your 72-year-old tush this year!)

1792 [217] George Vancouver discovers site of Vancouver BC (what a coincidence … same name!)

1939 [70] The ‘Baseball Hall of Fame’ is formally dedicated in Cooperstown NY

1997 [12] 1st MLB ‘Interleague Play’, ending 126-year tradition of separating the American & National baseball leagues until the World Series (in the 1st game, San Francisco Giants beat Texas Rangers 4-3)

[Mon] Husband Caregiver Day
[Mon] Nature Photography Day
[Mon] Ride to Work On Your Motorcycle Day
[Tues] 2009 CMT Music Awards (Nashville TN)
[Wed] World Day to Combat Desertification & Drought
[Thurs] Recess At Work Day
This Week Is … Credit Awareness Week
This Month Is … Dairy Alternative Month


You run down the list while your guest or phone caller decides which choice is more palatable. Would you rather …
• Eat a rotten egg (no salmonella!) OR eat a raw 5-pound pumpkin in one sitting?
• Count all the grains of sand in a sand castle OR count all the eye droppers full of water in an Olympic-sized swimming pool?
• Have a pinky finger broken OR be injected with a strain of 35-day flu?
• Inhale a small amount of gasoline while siphoning OR eat a handful of that foam that gathers near street drains during a storm?
• Be forced to attend the wedding of your ex-fiancé who dumped you and with whom you are still completely in love OR run into your ex-lover and a different, good looking, love interest every 4 months?
• Be trapped in an elevator packed with wet dogs OR filled with 3 fat guys with bad breath?
• Have a perpetually plugged nose OR perpetually plugged ears?
• Snort half a shaker of pepper OR a live bee?
• Lick a melted chocolate bar off the sidewalk OR lick a friend’s plush pile car seat, including all the crevices?
• Wear only orange clothes all the time OR wear a tuxedo all the time?

Finish this sentence: I know a guy who knows a guy who can …


Tonight Detroit Red Wings attempt to win back-to-back Stanley Cups. Which was the last team to accomplish the feat? [Detroit in 1997, 1998.] And the team to do it previously to that? [The Red Wings’ opponents – Pittsburgh in 1991, 1992.]


Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.

Today’s Question: When a survey asked several hundred employees what they would like to bring to work from home, THIS was the #1 answer.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their beds.

You can only live once but if you do it right, once is enough.

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