Tuesday, June 16, 2009         Edition: #4041
Have Another Sheetload!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actress-turned-reality TV star Denise Richards (“It’s Complicated”) has found it necessary to blab that actor John Stamos (ex-“ER”) was her ‘best-ever lover’ (former hubby Charlie Sheen only ranks 1,743rd) . . . 30-year-old actress Katie Holmes is in talks to appear on “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX), which would involve her doing a one-off routine on-stage (aww how cute, Tom’s letting her out of the house again!) . . . After “Survivor: Samoa” (CBS) finishes production this summer, shooting on the show’s 20th season will immediately get underway, possibly also in Samoa (what do they need to change for you to stomach 2 more seasons?) . . . Bucking the current trend, actor Leonardo DiCaprio has actually made money on his Malibu CA home, selling the beachside property for $7.9 million, a $1.25-million profit after only 2 years (painting the bathroom ceiling was a good idea, Leo) . . . As production winds down on the final 2-part ‘Potter’ film, “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows”, actors & crew are scouring the sets looking for suitable souvenirs to take home (like Emma Watson?) . . . Rapper Luce Cannon is recovering from surgery after fellow rapper Sticky Fingaz accidentally shot him in the leg (never heard of these guys, but love the names!) . . . Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie have donated $1 million to St John’s Hospital in his hometown of Springfield, Missouri (sorta makes up for all the millions they get for photos each time they get a new kid) . . . And new celebrity couple Paris Hilton & soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo (just signed to Real Madrid) have reportedly promised to ‘remain faithful to each other’ while she’s in Dubai filming a new TV show and he’s in the USA (partying with chicks in his Vegas hotel suite).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “CMT Music Awards” (CMT/CMT.com) – Comedian Bill Engvall hosts live from Nashville’s Sommet Center. Sugarland leads nominations with 5. Performances include Brad Paisley, Keith Urban, Rascal Flatts, Sugarland, Taylor Swift, and Toby Keith. The final nominees for ‘Video Of the Year’ are announced at the beginning of the show for fan voting online.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Black Eyed Peas (“The E-N-D”).
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Gene Simmons (KISS).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jonas Bros (“Lines, Vines & Trying Times”).
• “LA Candy” – This first novel by 23-year-old “The Hills” star Lauren Conrad is published. The plot revolves around a 19-year-old girl who moves to Los Angeles and is suddenly thrust into the spotlight on her own reality show. Unbelievably, HarperCollins has signed her up to write 2 more. (Look out, Maya Angelou!)
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Gavin DeGraw (“Free”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Hank Williams Jr (“127 Rose Avenue”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Gavin Rossdale (“Wanderlust”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – Guitarist Brad Whitford will join his bandmates on tour next month. The previously unidentified injury that forced him to sit out the first few dates has now been revealed. He suffered internal bleeding after banging his head while … getting out of his Ferrari.
• Green Day – Tracks from “21st Century Breakdown” will be released for “Rock Band” July 7th,  and more of their material is on the way for the popular music videogame.
• Jack Ingram – The “Barefoot & Crazy” singer is still in pain following a celeb steer-riding competition last week in which he was thrown hard to the ground after just 3 seconds. It was a promotional stunt for a Championship Bull Riding event in Nashville TN.
• Madonna – Yesterday she moved newly adopted daughter Mercy into a luxury lodge in Malawi and sent a nanny & nurse to look after her while immigration paperwork is completed to allow the 4-year-old to be flown to the US.
• Maroon 5 – 30-year-old frontman Adam Levine says his best songs have been about his girlfriends. That may mean he’ll soon be writing a tune about 36-year-old actress Cameron Diaz, with whom he admits he’s currently ‘hanging out’.
• Paul McCartney – He & daughters Stella and Mary have begun the ‘Meat-Free Monday’ initiative, which urges meat-eaters to turn vegetarian one day a week to help the environment.
• Spinal Tap – Today the spoof rockers celebrate their 25th anniversary with a new album, “Back From The Dead”, their first new material in almost 2 decades. The release includes an hour-long DVD.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:

• “Friday the 13th” ( Horror Thriller ): In this 12th edition of the horror series a group of young adults discovers a boarded up ‘Camp Crystal Lake’, where they soon encounter ‘Jason Voorhees’ and his deadly intentions. No-name cast. Also available in an ‘Extended Killer Cut’. First released in theaters on Friday, February 13, 2009.
• “Madea Goes to Jail” ( Dramedy ): Prolific writer/director/actor Tyler Perry is back with a bigscreen version of his stage play about a feisty old lady (himself in drag) whose antics land her behind bars. There she meets a hooker in need of some tough love (a grown-up Keshia Knight Pulliam, formerly of “The Cosby Show”).
• Also released today: “CMT Crossroads: Taylor Swift & Def Leppard” (music); “The Dark Progression” (Depeche Mode documentary); “The Diary of Anne Frank – 50th Anniversary Edition”; “Family Guy: Volume 7” (TV animation); “Friday the 13th: Part V: A New Beginning”; “Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives”; “Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Deluxe Edition”; “Lost: The Complete 1st & 2nd Seasons” (Blu-ray HD); “Morning Light” (sailing documentary); “The Three Stooges: Volume 6”; and “Transformers: The Complete 1st Season – 25th Anniversary Edition” (TV animation).

IF YOU KNEW SUSHI LIKE I KNEW SUSHI:
Before you eat that oh-so-delicious piece of salmon sashimi, consider this: sushi (as well as undercooked fish) may be contributing to the growing problem of urban tapeworm. Once the bane of rural Japanese villagers, a paper in the June issue of “Emerging Infectious Diseases” reports the salmon tapeworm is spreading. The parasite can reach lengths of 39 feet (12 meters), and has been steadily increasing its global prevalence … mostly among yuppies with a hankering for sashimi and ceviche. (Your just desserts if you’re gonna eat raw fish.)
– “Scientific American”

WACKY WORLD OF BS:
• In Foshan, China a restaurant is defending its controversial practice of killing of chickens … with snakes. Charges of animal cruelty have spread online over what’s called ‘Snake-Bitten Chicken’. A spokesman for the eatery says they’ve been offering the dish for years and customers keep coming back. It’s thought that, after heating, the snake toxin turns into an enzyme that helps clear human blood vessels.
– Agence France-Presse
• In Leeds, England a new high-rise tower is being built … for animals. The habitat’s creator, 26-year-old Neil Oxlee, hopes the 40-foot (12-meter) ‘man-made tree’ will provide a solution to the decline in urban wildlife. The structure is designed to house bats, birds, butterflies, insects and even foxes with minimal human involvement.
– BBC News
• In Paris, France a princess from Saudi Arabia’s royal family rang up a shopping bill close to $25 million then refused to pay due to … diplomatic immunity. During the purchasing binge, Princess Maha & her entourage visited shop after shop handing out embossed documents stating ‘Payment to Follow’. But she ignored her furious debtors afterward and locked herself in her $4,000-a-night suite at the George V Hotel. Among the purchases: about $100,000 of designer lingerie. She’s finally paid up after a judge ordered bailiffs to confiscate the underwear.
– Telegraph.co.uk

BEST CITIES TO LIVE IN 2009:

Based on a variety of factors including economy, quality of life, infrastructure, environment, traffic congestion, etc.
5. Dusseldorf, Germany
4. (tie) Vancouver, Canada / Auckland, New Zealand
3. Geneva, Switzerland
2. Zurich, Switzerland
1. Vienna, Austria
– CityMayors.com

MOANING LISA:
Did Leonardo da Vinci paint a nude version of the ‘Mona Lisa’? Maybe so, according to a newly revealed painting, hidden for a century within the walls of a private library. The lady in the portrait does not exactly resemble the original, but there is little doubt it has parallels with the painting hanging at the Louvre in Paris. The painting is now on exhibit at the Museo Ideale in the Tuscan town of Vinci, where da Vinci was born in 1452. (A naked photo she sent Leo via cellphone?)
– “Discovery News”

HIGHEST PAID ACTORS 2009:

Based on total income over the past year …
4. (tie) Eddie Murphy (“Meet Dave”) / Nicolas Cage (“Bangkok Dangerous”) … $39.9 million.
3. Will Smith (“Seven Pounds”, “Hancock”) … $45 million.
2. Adam Sandler (“Bedtime Stories”, “You Don’t Mess With The Zohan”) … $54.9 million.
1. Harrison Ford (“Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”) … $64.95 million.
(Interesting that almost all of these movies sucked!)
– “Forbes Magazine”

DID YOU KNOW?

This year your heart will beat approximately 36.8 million times. (More if you saw “Friday the 13th”, less if you saw “He’s Just Not That Into You”.)
– GreatFacts.com

BS CHRONOMETER 06.16.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1970 [39] Phil Mickelson, San Diego CA, PGA golfer (36 PGA tour wins)/3 major championships

1972 [37] John Cho, Seoul, South Korea, movie actor (‘Sulu’ in the new “Star Trek”, “Harold & Kumar” movies)

1988 [21] Keshia Chanté (Harper), Ottawa ON, R&B/pop singer (“2U”, “Bad Boy”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fresh Veggies Day”, a good day to add some crunch to your lunch!

• “Morticians Day”, saluting undertakers and all others who work in the funeral or cemetery biz. Don’t stiff out on saluting them … people are dying to throw them a party!

• “National Fudge Day”. Is this to make up for the fresh veggies or something?

• “National Public Service Week” in Canada, to recognize ‘the many ways in which the members of Canada’s federal public service contribute to the quality of life we enjoy’. (No laughing!)
NET: http://www.tbs-sct.gc.ca/arp/nfpsw-eng.asp

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1995 [14] “Batman Forever” (3rd in the series), starring Val Kilmer & Nicole Kidman, debuts in movie theaters and racks up $53 million in box office in its opening weekend

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2002 [07] Elvis Presley appears on the UK singles chart for the first time since his death with a remix of his 1968 track “A Little Less Conversation” credited to Elvis vs JXL (which later jumps the pond to become a hit in North America)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1903 [106] ‘Ford Motor Co’ is incorporated (and actually makes money instead of losing it)

1998 [11] Estimated 2 million people watch 1st ‘Live Birth’ online (would this qualify as a download?)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .

1975 [34] Randy Farland finds a ‘14-Leaf Clover’ near Sioux Falls SD (worth about 712 years of good luck!)

1992 [17] ‘World’s Largest Salami’ measures 69-ft, 25-ins in circumference, and weighs 1,492 lbs (Flekkefjord, Norway)

1998 [11] Coach Scotty Bowman drinks from the NHL’s Stanley Cup a record-tying 8th time as his Detroit Red Wings complete sweep of Washington Capitals

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Recess At Work Day
[Fri] “The Proposal”; “Whatever Works”; “Year One” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Virgin Festivals begin (Montréal QC)
[Fri] World Sauntering Day
[Sun] Fathers Day
[Sun] 1st Day of Summer
[Sun] MuchMusic Video Awards
This Week Is … Meet a Mate Week
This Month Is … Lane Courtesy Month

BULL’S BITS


BS ‘FIND THE FAKES’:
Here’s proof that science is stranger than fiction. Some of the following are actual conclusions reached in real scientific studies, others are total BS. Which are which?
• Married couples tend to look alike over time. [Real]
• Belly button lint is a strictly human phenomenon. [BS]
• Women with curvier hips have slightly higher intelligence. [Real]
• Woman wearing red are more attractive to men. [Real]
• All females are more attractive with wet hair. [BS]
• Herring communicate by passing gas. [Real]
• The length of a man’s index finger has a direct correlation to the size of his manhood. [Real]
• Playing Meatloaf’s “Bat Out of Hell” non-stop makes plants grow faster. [BS]
• Sheep can recognize human faces. [Real]
• 12 is the funniest number. [BS]
– Adapted from ListVerse.com.

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you were to give your dad a label, what would it be? ‘Mr Nice Guy’? Mr Fix It’? ‘Mr Golfer’? ‘Mr Bad Fashion’?

REAL BUT REALLY DUMB FATHERS DAY GIFTS:

• ‘BBQ Branding Iron’ – A branding iron with interchangeable metal letters, so dad can insert any message he wants, such as “Grilled by Dad” or “Hands Off My Meat!”. Price: $27.99.
• ‘Beer Pager’ – Put dad’s beer into this special holder & clip the remote to his belt. When he misplaces his brew, he can press the red button on the remote and lights flash and the holder begins to burp loudly. So much fun; so much class for only $18.99.
• ‘Gun O’Clock’ – When the alarm goes off, a round target pops up on top of the clock. In order to shut off the alarm, dad has to hit the target with an infrared ‘gun’. $34; NRA membership is extra.
• ‘Pasta Boobs’ – When it’s cooked, this boob-shaped pasta increases in size. Comes with a recipe for ‘Pert Pasta Tossed with Creamy Herb Sauce’. What better way to say ‘I love you, Dad?’ $6.95.
• ‘Pizza Boss 3000′ – A pizza slicer shaped to look like a circular saw. Perfect for the do-it-yourself dad at $14.95.

BS WEB GOODIE:

Thanks to Buzzman-TV you can click on ‘Laugh’ here, then select any of the faces to create your own laugh track. It’s the same person laughing in 27 different ways.
NET: http://hahahaha.fr

BS RANDOM JOKE:
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: According to “Glamour” magazine, a third of women have prayed for THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A boyfriend.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Play well, or play badly, but play truly.


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