Tuesday, June 23, 2009        Edition: #4046
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

39-year-old actor Matthew McConaughey has revealed his girlfriend Camila Alves is pregnant with their 2nd child (somebody hose these people down – their son Levi is just 11-months-old!) . . . Talk about being open-minded: 68-year-old British actor Sir Michael Gambon (‘Albus Dumbledore‘ in “Harry Potter” films) has fathered a 2nd child via his 43-year-old lover Philippa Hart, with whom he openly splits his time while still living with wife Lady Anne (they have a 44-year-old son) . . . 23-year-old actress Megan Fox (“Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen”) is moaning that her friends are avoiding her and her social life is suffering because of the hoards of photographers & fans who follow her every move (lots of stars move about quietly – you just have to want to) . . . It’s now being claimed the reason Stephen Baldwin has quit reality TV show “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!” (NBC) is that insects laid their eggs and implanted larvae under his skin (a far more creative excuse than Heidi Montag-Pratt’s boring ulcer) . . . Supermodel Kate Moss has reportedly destroyed a half-dozen new tracks by rocker boyfriend Jamie Hince (The Kills) by hurling his laptop into a swimming pool during a massive argument (she taking lessons from Naomi Campbell?) . . . “Year One” star Jack Black was hoping to celebrate his 40th by playing with his band Tenacious D at a Pearl Jam concert in San Francisco August 29th but says producers of his next movie “Gulliver’s Travels” won’t let him because the film may still be shooting (take the 10-mill, be happy) . . . 23-year-old soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo says he’s now lost interest in Paris Hilton because he’s been ‘too busy’ to see her since they spent a night together earlier this month (you know you’re shallow when guys lose interest after a single day) . . . And media mogul Oprah Winfrey is treating her staff to a luxury cruise around the Mediterranean, ponying up more than $750,000 to take 100-plus employees & their families on a 10-day vacation (in preparation, first she bought the Mediterranean …).


• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/A Channel) – New host Nick Cannon ushers in the first of a 2-night season premiere. Promos are milking the popularity of Susan Boyle in the “Britain’s Got Talent” version but there’s no plan for her to travel across the pond … yet. Judges remain the same: David Hasselhoff, Sharon Osbourne, and Piers Morgan (who’s also on the UK show).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Iggy Pop (“Preliminaires”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – MSTRKRFT with John Legend (“Fist of God”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Ashanti (“The Declaration”).
• “The Superstars” (ABC) – Debut of a new reality show that pairs pro athletes (Terrell Owens, Jennifer Capriati, Bode Miller, etc) with C-list celebs (David Charvet, Estella Warren, Ali Landry, etc) in weekly competitions such as swimming, cycling, and kayaking.
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Elvis Costello (“Secret, Profane and Sugarcane”).

• Alexisonfire – Today they release their 4th studio album, “Old Crows/Young Cardinals”.
• Black Eyed Peas – will.i.am is facing police questioning after celeb gossip blogger Perez Hilton reported he was assaulted by him & his entourage following the “MuchMusic Video Awards” Sunday night in Toronto. (There are likely those in the biz who called will to thank him.)
• Bob Marley – Today his son Ziggy Marley releases “B is for Bob”, a collection of the reggae legend’s songs re-imagined for children. (We’re guessing ‘S is for Spliff’.)
• Def Leppard – Tonight they launch a 40-date North American tour in Camden NJ. Poison and Cheap Trick co-headline.
• Montgomery Gentry – Today the country duo are inducted as Grand Ole Opry members in a ceremony in Nashville.
• Rascal Flatts – Today the new ‘Unstoppable Breakfast’ is added to the ‘Allnight Rockstar’ menu at Denny’s restaurants. Named for their latest album, it includes a biscuit topped with fried steak, eggs, cheese, gravy and 3 strips of bacon, served with a side of hash browns. (And hopefully a roll of Tums.)
• REM – Today they release a 25th anniversary edition of their 2nd full-length album, “Reckoning”. (Recycling … how Earth-friendly!)
• U2 – Bono says Ali Hewson, his wife of nearly 27 years, has grown to become totally independent and he sometimes wishes she wasn’t as it seems he needs her more than she needs him. (Maybe she’s grown tired of him pontificating all the time too?)


• “Confessions Of a Shopaholic” ( Comedy ): Isla Fisher stars as a college grad who lands a job as a journalist in NYC where her shopping addiction spirals out of control until she falls for a wealthy entrepreneur. Co-stars Joan Cusack, John Goodman, and Hugh Dancy.
• “Inkheart” ( Family Fantasy ): Brendan Fraser stars as a bookbinder who can bring characters to life by reading aloud. But his young daughter (Eliza Bennett) is forced to rally her friends – both real and imaginary – to rescue him when he’s trapped by an evil-doer (Andy Serkis (‘Gollum’ in “Lord Of the Rings” films). Co-stars Paul Bettany & Helen Mirren.
• “The Pink Panther 2” ( Comedy ): Steve Martin returns as ‘Inspector Jacques Clouseau’, who teams with a squad of international detectives to stop a globe-trotting thief. The problem is, his new cohorts are just as bumbling as he is. Co-stars Jean Reno, John Cleese, and Andy Garcia. • “Waltz With Bashir” ( Documentary ): In this Oscar-nominated animated film, an Israeli movie director interviews fellow veterans of the 1982 invasion of Lebanon to reconstruct his own memories of his term of service in that conflict.
• Also released today: “The Girls Next Door: Season 5” (TV); Reba: Season 6” (TV).


An ‘artist’ from London who spent 2 years creating his latest work by picking his nose and rolling his snot into a ‘sculpture’ just a tad smaller than a golf ball is now ready to sell his masterpiece for around $20,000. James Robert Ford, who somehow managed to exhibit his snot at 4 different art galleries, is seeking an art collector to take the goo off his hands. So far, he’s received bids in the $50-to-$250 range but that’s just not enough to do the artwork justice. Trying to rationalize his absurd request for 20-grand, the artist explains that each booger is part of his body and would be impossible for any other artist to replicate. (Man, your work blows!)
– “Curious Times”

Here’s a term for the future: ‘High-Altitude Wind Power’. The first worldwide study of it estimates a wind generator in the sky might generate 15 times or more power than one on the ground. What that means is there’s enough wind energy at altitudes of 1,600-to-40,000 ft (500 meters-to-12 km) to meet the global electricity demand a hundred times over. While the wind blowing through the streets of Manhattan couldn’t power the city, a wind machine thousands of feet above the city theoretically could. Scientists say the air up there is a vast potential reservoir of energy. (They’ll make it happen as soon as they figure out how to charge money for it.)
– Wired.com

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 85% of us will talk about the weather at least once today.
• 40% of women admit they’ve gone skinny-dipping at least once in their life.
• 33% of women say they would rather go hungry than give up stylish haircuts.
• 25% of guys have put on mismatched socks in the morning.
• 20% of employees show up late for week at least once a week.
• 15% of us have hidden some money in the freezer.

If you’re thinking of nations that lead the world in environmental legislation you’d probably list about 2 dozen countries before you got to Uganda if you ever thought of it at all. Nevertheless, the African country’s government has introduced legislation that would outlaw all plastic bags beginning in 2010 with a remarkable penalty of 3 years in jail and a $1,500 fine for anyone caught using one. The government has also established a 120% tax on imported plastic material entering the country. (“Will that be paper … or jail?”)
– EarthTimes.org


Until now the main way of assessing pain has been to ask people what they’re feeling. But scientists have now discovered a way of using brain scans to measure the true depth of a person’s suffering. Researchers at Britain’s Oxford University have found that pain seems to increase blood flow to certain parts of the brain in proportion to the amount of pain felt. These changes can be measured using brain scans. It’s thought the discovery could one day lead to pain being measured objectively on some form of scale. (“Quit your whining, you’re only a ‘2′!”)
– “Times of London”

“Up” is cleaning up at the box office ($249 million and counting) and may eventually move up this list of the best animated films ever from the ‘Mouse House’ …
5. “Fantasia” (1940).
4. “The Lion King” (1994).
3. “Pinocchio” (1940).
2. “Beauty & The Beast” (1991).
1. “Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs” (1937).
– Listverse.com


• One minute of passionate kissing burns only 2 calories.
• It takes the average 20-something guy just 10 seconds to become fully aroused.
• Eyelids are ultra-sensitive to touch because they don’t contains any fat beneath the skin.
• Besides humans, dolphins and some chimps are the only other animals that ‘do the deed’ for pleasure as well as procreation.
– “Cosmopolitan”


1956 [53] Randy Jackson, Baton Rouge LA, TV personality (“American Idol” judge since 2002)/former music industry exec (A&R VP-Columbia, MCA)/former rock bassist (Journey)/cousin of actor Samuel L Jackson

1957 [52] Frances McDormand, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Burn After Reading”, “Almost Famous”)/1997 Oscar (“Fargo”)/married to filmmaker Joel Coen (“No Country for Old Men”) since 1984

1971 [38] Fred Ewanuick, Port Moody BC, TV actor (‘Hank’ on “Corner Gas” 2004-09)

1972 [37] Selma Blair, Southfield MI, TV actress (“Kath & Kim” 2008-09)/movie actress (“Hellboy” films, “Cruel Intentions”)

1975 [34] KT Tunstall, Edinburgh, Scotland, pop singer (“Suddenly I See”, “Black Horse & The Cherry Tree”)

1977 [32] Jason Mraz, Mechanicsville VA, pop/folk singer (“I’m Yours”, “The Remedy”)

1984 [25] (Aimee Anne) Duffy, Gwynedd, Wales, pop singer (“Warwick Avenue”, “Mercy”)

1984 [25] JT Thomas Jr, Mobile AL, reality TV show contestant (winner “Survivor: Tocantins” 2009)

• “Let It Go Day”, either something to do with releasing pent-up emotions … or maybe getting rid of your kid’s pet garter snake?

• “Midsummer’s Eve”, celebrated in much of Northern Europe. In Sweden, Finland and Estonia, it’s considered the greatest festival of the year, comparable only with “Walpurgis Night” (April 30), “Christmas Eve”, and “New Year’s Eve”. Its origins go back to the ancients.

• “United Nations Public Service Day”, first declared in 2003 to celebrate the value & virtue of public service to the community. On this day the ‘UN Public Service Awards’ are handed out for contributions in enhancing the role, prestige, and visibility of public service.

1979 [30] One-hit-wonder rock group the Knack releases “My Sharona”

1979 [30] Charlie Daniels Band releases #1 country hit “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”

1998 [11] One-hit-wonder pop singer Jennifer Paige releases mega-hit single “Crush”


1974 [35] 1st ‘Extraterrestrial Message’ sent from Earth into space (guess they should have included an RSVP)


1999 [10] Wayne Gretzky (who retired April 18, 1999) becomes the 10th player to have the 3-year waiting period waived by the Hockey Hall of Fame by reason of ‘outstanding pre-eminence and skill’

[Wed] “Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] Celebration of the Senses
[Wed] St-Jean-Baptiste Day (Fête National du Québec)
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
This Week Is … Camping Week
This Month Is … World Infertility Month


The mega-popular girls-lit series updated for today’s co-eds …
• “Claudia Goes to Class Wearing Sweatpants With Words On the Backside”
• “Kristy’s Softball Friends Don’t Buy It That She’s Dating a Dude”
• “Dawn & The Unpaid Internship”
• “Stacey Unsuccessfully Hides Her Purging”
• “Mary Anne & The Free Credit Card T-Shirt”
• “Dawn Gets Into a Heated Discussion On Post-Structuralism”
• “Mallory & The Trouble With Unaccepted Transfer Credits”
• “Claudia & The Illegal Music Download Subpoena”
• “Mary Anne Narcs On Her Roommate”
– Thanks to Grace Dobush


The sign said ‘8 Items or Less’ … so I changed my name to Les.

Today is “Soap Opera Day”, saluting those addictive daytime dramas that fill afternoon TV. Okay soap fans, let’s see how well you know ‘your stories’ …
• Which was the first American soap to simulcast in Spanish? [“The Bold & The Beautiful”.]
• Which had the largest-ever audience for a daytime drama? [“General Hospital”, with 30 million for ‘Luke & Laura’s Wedding’ in 1981.]
• Which soap has been ranked #1 longest? [“The Young & The Restless”, first topping ratings in December 1988.]
• Which soap features an intro by a dead actor as a tribute? [“Days Of Our Lives” has maintained MacDonald Carey’s voiceover in the opening title.]
• Which was the first 30-minute soap? [“As the World Turns”, 1956.]
• Which soap still has 2 remaining original cast members? [“All My Children”, begun in 1970.]
• Which is the longest running drama in TV history? [“Guiding Light”, a constant since 1952.]
• Which soap was originally titled “Between Heaven & Hell”? [“One Life to Live”]
– SoapCentral.com

What vegetable do you most resemble?

Today’s Question: The average household loses 3 of THESE over the course of a year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Forks.


If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

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