Thursday, June 3, 2010       Edition: #4276
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actor Charlie Sheen (“Two-and-a-Half Men”) has reportedly reached a plea deal with Colorado prosecutors whereby he’ll plead no contest to misdemeanor assault and be sentenced to 30 days behind bars for his Christmas Day attack on wife Brooke Mueller (insiders say the real deal is serving 17 of the 30 days beginning next Monday, followed by 36 hours of anger management classes) . . . VH1’s new season of “Celebrity Rehab With Dr Drew” has now been shelved because they can’t find enough troubled ‘stars’ to appear on it with the likes of Tila Tequila (“A Shot at Love”), Jason Wahler (“Laguna Beach”), and Bone Thugs-n-Harmony rapper Bizzy Bone (reports suggest even Lindsay Lohan turned down a $1-million offer) . . . “Sex & The City 2” may have gotten a lukewarm reception in North America but it’s topped the British box office with a $9.2-million opening (more than 3 times the #2 film, “Streetdance 3D”) . . . 24-year-old “Gossip Girl” actress Leighton Meester reveals in “Grazia” magazine that she was born in prison and raised by her grandmother while her mother, father, and grandfather all served jail terms for dope smuggling (holy dysfunctional!) . . . A publicist for Kristin Davis is denying rumors the actress has refused to sign on for a 3rd “Sex & The City” movie until she’s guaranteed more moolah (BS translation: There ain’t gonna be another one) . . . The latest issue of “Vanity Fair” has excerpts from the new book, “Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, and the Marriage Of the Century”, including several of their heated love letters from the ‘60s & ‘70s, one of Burton’s reading, “If you leave me I shall have to kill myself … there is no life without you” (even his letters sound Shakespearean) . . . Actress Katherine Heigl (“Knocked Up”) says she’s choosing her next movie projects very carefully now that she’s a mother because she doesn’t want her daughter to be ‘ashamed’ of mommy’s work (it is so too late for this) . . . And Chris Haney, co-creator with Scott Abbott of the iconic trivia game, “Trivial Pursuit” (launched in 1981), has died in a Toronto hospital at age 59 after battling a long-term illness (it’s game over).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Vampire Weekend (“Contra”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – The Bird & The Bee (“Interpreting the Masters”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Swedish band Miike Snow (“Billie Holiday”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Keane (“Night Train”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Phish (“Joy”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Jane Lynch (cheerleading coach ‘Sue Sylvester’ on “Glee”) who wed her partner, psychologist Lara Embry, at Sugarloaf Mountain MA Monday.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Taio Cruz (“Rokstarr”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Peter Frampton (“Thank You Mr Churchill”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – “American Idol” winner Lee DeWyze & runner-up Crystal Bowersox.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Snoop Dogg (“More Malice”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Aerosmith – It’s been announced the North American leg of their “’Cocked, Locked, Ready to Rock” tour will begin July 23rd in Oakland CA.
• Alan Jackson – The country star’s 135-acre property near Franklin TN has sold for a whopping $28 million. But that may be a bit of a disappointment … it was originally listed for $38 million.
• John Mayer – He’s canceled gigs across Europe after falling ill in Copenhagen, Denmark and flying home. No further details about the mystery malady are yet available. His next scheduled show is July 16th in Charlotte NC.
• Madonna – Her publicist denies reports the 51-year-old is planning a cosmetic overhaul this Summer, insisting there is ‘no plastic surgery on her calendar’. (BS translation: It’s a complete body transplant.)
• U2 – Today their Pasadena CA concert from last Fall, “U2360 At the Rose Bowl”, is released on DVD and Blu-ray in both a single and double-disc set. The show was shot entirely in HD. (The timing was to coincide with the kickoff of the now-postponed tour’s North American leg.)

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The DUFF” – This upcoming teen drama is about a 17-year-old high school girl who realizes she’s the epitome of ‘DUFFness’ (‘Designated Ugly Fat Friend’) as she struggles to maintain her sense of identity and juggle a tumultuous home life. The storyline is based on a novel by Kody Keplinger. No casting has yet been announced.
• “Idiot Brother” – 41-year-old “I Love You Man” actor Paul Rudd has signed on to play the lead in this upcoming comedy, playing an idealist with an overbearing mother and 3 extremely ambitious sisters. The parts of the sisters are to be cast soon. Production is set to begin in NYC this July.
• “The Imperfectionist” – Brad Pitt’s production company has acquired screen rights to this Tom Rachman-penned novel. The story focuses on the inner workings of a newspaper in Rome, its reporters and editors, and the collision of their personal lives and professional ambitions. It’s not yet known if Pitt intends to star in the film.
• “The Switch” – This upcoming prequel to Quentin Tarantino’s “Jackie Brown” (1997) finds ‘Ordell’ and ‘Louis’ hitting it off in prison, where both are doing time for grand theft auto. Upon their release, they join forces on a scheme to kidnap the wife of a wealthy Detroit developer. Based on the 1978 Elmore Leonard novel of the same name. No casting as yet.
• “Transformers 3” – Victoria’s Secret has confirmed its model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley will make her acting debut as Megan Fox’s replacement in the 3rd film in the series scheduled for 2011, although Paramount Pictures has yet to confirm the casting. The British model reportedly beat fellow catwalk star Tanit Phoenix for the role of Shia LaBeouf’s love interest in the new film.

SUITING UP FOR SUMMER:

Just 6% of women describe themselves as looking ‘terrific’ in a bathing suit, according to a recent poll. Furthermore, 68% of women surveyed think that men should worry more about how they look in a swimsuit. (How come the guys who have the stones to wear a skimpy Speedo are almost always the ones who really shouldn’t?)
– “Redbook Magazine”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:

• The Longxiang Public Bus Co in Changsha, China has launched a new ‘drive safely’ campaign that involves … hanging big bowls of water next to bus drivers. that makes it necessary to drive very gently in order to avoid spilling any. The bowls are inspected at the end of each shift and CCTV is studied to make sure the bowls haven’t been topped up. (Average speed: 2 mph.)
– Orange News
• An unlikely class of job seekers can now claim discrimination … the unemployed. A Florida-based recruiting company has posted a job for a marketing position cautioning, “No unemployed candidates will be considered at all.” A spokesman for the placement firm says it’s part of a ‘growing trend’, claiming that many companies want to hire only people who already have jobs. (It’s like a bank turning down your loan app because you need the money.)
– “NY Post”
• The planned ‘Renault Zoe’ automobile will not be going on sale if 23-year-old Zoe Renault of Paris, France has anything to say about it. She’s hired a lawyer to keep the French auto giant from using her first name for its new model. Renault laments, “I could not bear to hear, ‘Zoe’s broken down,’ or ‘We need to get Zoe overhauled’.” (It sounds so cute with a French accent.)
– UPI
• An Oklahoma sheriff says his county jail uniforms, which critics contend are designed to embarrass, are simply meant to make fugitives easily identifiable. Cleveland County Sheriff Joe Lester conceived the gaudy get-up which includes hot pink shirts & yellow-and-white striped pants. A local attorney contends forcing jailbirds to be humiliated by wearing a costume like that is wrong. (Yeah, you don’t wanna embarrass a felon.)
– “The Oklahoman”
• A party that calls itself ‘The Best’ has won 6 seats on the 15-member city council in a local election in the Icelandic capital of Reykjavik. Among its promises: free towels at all swimming pools; a new polar bear for the city zoo; a Disneyland at the airport; and a ‘drug-free parliament’ by 2020. (Wow, it sounds like these folks have found themselves a stash of ‘the best’.)
– BBC News

YOUR EXHAUST SMELLS SO FRESH!
The guys from Buckfield, Maine who became an online sensation by creating geysers from Diet Coke and Mentos have discovered the phenomenon isn’t just entertainment … it can propel vehicles! A contraption created by Fritz Grobe & Stephen Voltz using a bike and a trailer is powered by a piston mechanism using hundreds of pieces of Mentos mints and Coke Zero. In experiments, the ‘Coke Zero & Mentos Rocket Car’ has traveled more than 220 feet. A new online video of the contraption is directed by Rob Cohen (“The Fast & The Furious”).
NET: http://www.eepybird.com
– CNEWS

MANAGEMENT REVIEW:
Working closely with someone gives you valuable insight into that person’s performance. This is especially true of your boss. But the book “How to Give Your Boss Feedback” by Amy Gallo suggests that knowing if and how to give your boss feedback can be tough. A few tips to help decide when to share your insights, and when to keep quiet …
• Wait or ask for permission. Don’t launch into a list of things your boss could do better. It’s better to wait to be asked for feedback or to inquire if your boss is open to feedback.
• Focus on helping him/her. Give input that will help improve his/her performance. Avoid telling him/her what you would do if you were boss.
• When in doubt, hold your tongue. If you think your boss will not be receptive or if he/she has been known to lash out at constructive criticism, you’re better off keeping your mouth shut. Find other, anonymous ways to give feedback.
– “China Daily”

BS SOCIAL STUDIES:

• A study of women with breast implants finds that they’re heavier drinkers (more guys sending freebies over to their table?) and have more sex partners (well why the heck do you think they got ‘em in the first place?).
• Eating too much licorice may turn you blue. Helsinki University reports that patients developed blue or dark green pigmentation after gobbling licorice for prolonged periods of time. (Will sports fans pick up on this? It’s easier than painting your face!)
• Scholars now believe that 90% of all languages will disappear by the middle of this century. (Hey, “Star Trek” was right — in the future everyone in the universe will speak English!)

MOST AWESOME FICTIONAL CARS:
A new ranking of the hottest rods to feature in films …
5. ‘Lightning McQueen’ from the movie “Cars”.
4. ‘James Bond’s Aston Martin (to be auctioned off this October).
3. ‘KITT’ from the TV show “Knight Rider”.
2. The ‘Batmobile’ from “Batman” films.
1. The souped up DeLorean in “Back to the Future” movies.
Which got missed – ‘The Flintstone’s Car’? ‘Herbie the Love Bug’? ‘The General Lee’ from “Dukes of Hazzard”?
– Gunaxin.com

BS AMAZING FACT:

Only 12%, or 1-in-8 Roman Catholics, is reevaluating ties to the church following reports of child sexual abuse, according to a “60 Minutes”/”Vanity Fair” survey.

BS CHRONOMETER 06.03.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [79] Raul Castro (Ruz), Biran, Cuba, President of Cuba since 2008/younger brother of Fidel Castro

1967 [43] Anderson Cooper, NYC, CNN news anchor (“AC 360”)/son of heiress Gloria Vanderbilt

1968 [42] Jamie O’Neal (Murphy), Sydney, Australia, country singer (“When I Think About Angels”, “There Is No Arizona”)

1986 [24] Rafael Nadal, Manacor, Spain, #2-ranked pro tennis player (winner of Australian Open 2009; French Open 2005-08, Wimbledon 2008)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Impersonation Day”. Open up the phone lines and you’ll find that everybody impersonates somebody … even if it’s just family or friends.

• “Pull Your Pants Up Day”. Whatever your reason: out-of-style hip-hop fan; quick weight-loss; plumber … just do it, okay? The world thanks you!

• “Repeat Day”, an annual opportunity to do things over again … just because you want to. It’s a good excuse to double-snack, repeat activities that are fun, etc.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2009 [01] 72-year-old actor David Carradine (“Kung Fu”) dies in a Bangkok, Thailand hotel room, apparently the victim of ‘accidental asphyxiation’ (he’s found the next day)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1970 [40] Ray Davies of The Kinks travels round trip from NYC to London to change one word in the hit single “Lola” (“Coca-Cola” is changed to “cherry Cola” because the BBC bans commercial references in music)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [11] 1st ‘TV Commercial Targeted Directly at Cats” (Whiskas debuts a 30-second cat food spot designed to make cats wild for the product through the use of high-pitched sounds, zigzag lines, and a ball of yarn, but it doesn’t work … cats can’t read)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

2007 [03] 1,680 guitarists simultaneously play Deep Purple’s “Smoke On the Water” in Kansas City MO (beats 1994 record of 1,323 playing BTO’s Takin’ Care of Business” in Vancouver BC)

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Fri] “Get Him To the Greek”; “Killers”; “Marmaduke”; “Splice” open in movie theaters
[Sat] World Environment Day
[Sat] Belmont Stakes (Queens NY)
[Sun] 2010 MTV Movie Awards
[Sun] Drive-in Movie Day
[Sun] BAFTA Television Awards (London)
This Week Is … Fragrance Week
This Month Is … Potty Training Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS


BS QUESTIONS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOUR DOCTOR:
• Can you turn your head and recite the alphabet backwards?
• Does your medical plan cover scurvy?
• Do you mind if I talk to your next-of-kin?
• Are you seeing anybody?
• Is it always that inflamed?
• Do you mind if I get naked too?

BS RANDOM JOKE:

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

BS PROMOTIONAL STUNT:

‘Gender Benders’ – Your contestant is sent out in public dressed as the opposite sex with a morning crew member along to do play-by-play. The contestant must attempt certain chores: buying gender-specific items, trying to pick up a date, asking about jobs, etc. In order to win the grand prize, they must survive through your entire show without being unmasked as a fraud.

BS PHONE STARTER:

Who has Hollywood’s best booty? (A new unranked StarPulse.com listing of hottest a$$es in show biz includes Ciara, Coco, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian, Pamela Anderson, Rihanna, Usher, and … Iggy Pop.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: You’ll thank yourself later if you do THIS in the morning.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Fill up your gas tank. (Surveys show the lowest prices, on average, are at 9:15 am.)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

A stranger is just a friend you don’t know.


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