Thursday, June 10, 2010        Edition: #4281
Sheet Happens!

27-year-old actor Jack Huston (“Twilight Saga: Eclipse “) has reportedly split from his 33-year-old wife, “So You Think You Can Dance” host Cat Deeley, in order to ‘focus on his career’ (BS translation: Now that I’m in “Twilight”, I can get younger babes) . . . Canadian producer/musician Daniel Lanois (Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, U2) is expected to be released from intensive care soon after suffering multiple injuries in a motorcycle accident in LA (his schedule’s been cleared for 2 months of recovery) . . . Starlet Lindsay Lohan’s arrest warrant following an alert from her SCRAM anklet indicating she’d been drinking has now been called off, thanks to her reps posting an even bigger bail bond (only smooths things over temporarily until she’s back in court July 6th) . . . When reporters told “Grey’s Anatomy” actor Eric Dane (‘McSteamy’) that former castmate Katherine Heigl has submitted her name to the “Emmy Awards” for consideration, his first response was, “For what?” (ouch!) . . . If the Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt (“The Hills”) split is a hoax, at least they’re committed to it – she’s filed papers for legal separation (her first smart career move) . . . Both “Glee” and “90210” are launching their own clothing lines (the hot new thing – ‘Sue Sylvester’ track suits?) . . . And Bret Michaels is now so convinced he’ll be replacing Simon Cowell as a judge on “American Idol”, he’s already planning his schedule around shooting the show next January (why this won’t happen – he’s a medical landmine and producers won’t be able to insure him).


• CMA Music Festival Fan Fair (Nashville) – Country music’s annual meet ‘n greet and performance event runs through Sunday. Nightly concerts at feature Alan Jackson, Blake Shelton, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, Lady Antebellum, Martina McBride, Reba McEntire, Rascal Flatts, Tim McGraw, Trace Adkins, and Zac Brown Band among others.
• FIFA World Cup Kick-Off Celebration Concert (Johannesburg) – Performances by Alicia Keys, Black Eyed Peas, John Legend, K’Naan, Shakira, and other international stars at the Orlando Stadium. Music video site VEVO webcasts the event live beginning at 2 pm ET. Friday’s first match will feature Mexico vs South Africa.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Slash (“Slash”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Taio Cruz (“Rokstarr”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Angels & Airwaves (“Love”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Damian Marley & Nas (“Distant Relatives”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Sarah McLachlan (“Laws Of Illusion”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Christina Aguilera (“Bionic”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Lil Jon f/LMFAO (“Crunk Rock”).
• Mojo Honours List (London) – Florence & The Machine (“Lungs”) lead nominations for “Mojo Magazine’s” annual fan-voted UK music awards with 4, ahead of rockers Kasabian with 3.
• “Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage” – The dinosaur rock doc that debuted at this year’s Tribeca Film Festival opens in limited release in theaters across Canada and the USA.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – 10 finalists are announced.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Melissa Etheridge (“Fearless Love”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Newlywed Alanis Morissette (“Flavors of Entanglement”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Usher (“Raymond vs Raymond”).

• AC/DC – A 41-year-old Australian woman who pretended to be a concert promoter has been charged with 4 counts of obtaining money by deception after allegedly selling tickets and sponsorship deals for a non-existent 2005 concert. Her total take: Close to $100,000!
• Britney Spears – 29-year-old former cop Fernando Flores has quit his job as her head bodyguard due to ‘sexual harassment’. It seems she paraded around naked in front of him on numerous occasions. (10 years ago that would be a perk … but not now.)
• Eminem – His new album, “Recovery”, due June 22nd, has already ‘leaked’ online. It includes a collaboration with Lil Wayne called “No Love” that samples Haddaway’s 1993 dance (and fitness club) track “What is Love?”.
• Lady Gaga – Her new video for “Alejandro” is an 8-plus minute homage to Madonna … with some gay Nazis thrown in for good measure. (Is she running out of ways to shock us?)
• Madonna – Her daughter Lourdes (aka ‘Lola’) has landed her first magazine cover, on Europe’s “Quality” magazine … at the ripe old age of 13. (She has the same almost-unibrow.)
• Mariah Carey – She & Nick Cannon have welcomed a new addition to the family … a puppy. Carey’s confirmed on Twitter their Jack Russell named ChaCha just birthed up a baby. (And when’s ‘mommy’s’ turn?)
• Radiohead – Frontman Thom Yorke claims it’s only a matter of time until the music business establishment completely folds, which he says will be ‘no great loss to the world’. He advises young musicians to resist signing record deals because the major labels are doomed.
• Rihanna – She tells “Elle” magazine her LA Dodger-boyfriend Matt Kemp helps keep her ‘sane’. (As opposed to the last one.)

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Chaperone” – Pro wrestler Paul ‘Triple H’ Levesque (“Blade: Trinity”) stars in this upcoming comedy for WWE Studios. He’ll play the best ‘wheel man’ in the bank-robbing business, who tries to go straight for the sake of his ex-wife and daughter.
• “Fright Night” – Anton Yelchin stars as a teen convinced that his new neighbor (Colin Farrell) is a vampire. Toni Collette plays the teen’s disbelieving mom, who falls under the vampire’s spell. It’s a remake of the 1985 horror thriller that starred Chris Sarandon & Roddy McDowall.
• “Men in Black III” – The series’ 2nd sequel is slotted to hit theaters May 25, 2012 with Barry Sonnenfeld returning to the director’s chair, Will Smith & Tommy Lee Jones reprising their roles, and with Josh Brolin & Jemaine Clement also in the cast.
• “Mortal Kombat: Rebirth” – It’s reported that this film-short that’s made its way anonymously to YouTube is, as many theorized, a test for a potential R-rated film reboot of the videogame-based movie franchise. If the short’s popularity is any indication, a feature film is likely to follow.
• “The Muppets” – Walt Disney Pictures has set a December 25, 2011 release for the latest incarnation of the characters first made famous on “Sesame Street”. Actor Jason Segel (“How I Met Your Mother”, “I Love You, Man”) is co-writing the screenplay and co-starring in the project.


All things eventually end. Fortunately, you’ll outlast these short-timers …
• Facebook – Eventually some other upstart will take over our fascination (and spare time).
• Cellphone Contracts – There’s good reason(s) Europeans have already abandoned these.
• Your Dog – Sure, it’s a sad thought. But it’s better than the reverse.
• Gasoline – One day everything will run on hydrogen or something we’ve not yet heard of.
• Skinny Jeans – Denim was made to cover your legs, not turn them into shrink-wrapped stilts.
• Your Childhood Idol – He/she is older, so she/he will croak first.
• Metrosexual/Manscaping – It’s now accepted that men care about how they look, so the labels have lost their purpose.
• Keith Richards – But just barely. The walking wrinkle is proof that life, not longevity, is what’s worth living for.
– Excerpted from “Men’s Health”


The Pittsburgh Penguins are looking for 250 students to help with an important task and there’s only one major requirement: You must know how to flush a toilet. Construction is near completion on the NHL team’s new arena, the Consol Energy Center and, like any new arena or stadium, officials need to simultaneously flush all the toilets and urinals to make sure everything is working. The Penguins are calling today’s event the ‘Student Flush’, a spinoff of their popular ticketing program known as ‘Student Rush’. Students must be 18 or older to participate in the flush-apalooza. In all, there will be 400 flushers, including construction personnel. (There goes Lake Erie!)


• You should book a mover at least 3 weeks ahead of time.
• We expect you to be home and to be prepared on moving day.
• Don’t make the boxes too big or too heavy or we may have to repack them.
• Be realistic about how much stuff you need to move. Get rid of things you no longer need.
• Make sure all the paperwork for your new home is done well ahead of time.
• You should check for damages and report them ASAP after the move.
• You may have to pay more than the estimate, depending how prepared you are.
• We never ask but we expect a tip if we do a good job.
– Condensed from “Woman’s Day” magazine

A Brigham Young University research study suggests that overweight people miss work more often than their slimmer peers. In fact, the extensive survey of more than 10,000 employees shows that obese workers miss work twice as often as others, up to 14 days annually. (“Hi boss, I won’t be in today. I’m taking a ‘fat day’.”)


• A British bank once accepted a cheque written on a cow. (They were a little disappointed when the cow left a ‘deposit’ in the lobby.)
• For every person on Earth, there are over 200 million insects. (Most of which will somehow find your campsite.)


1921 [89] Prince Philip Mountbatten (Philippos Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderbert-Glucksburn, Prince of Greece), Corfu, Greece, Duke of Edinburgh & Mr Queen Elizabeth II since 1947

1964 [46] Kate Flannery, Philadelphia PA, TV actress (‘Meredith Palmer’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1965 [45] Elizabeth Hurley, Basingstoke UK, movie actress (“Austin Powers” films)/model (Estée Lauder)

1982 [28] Leelee Sobieski, NYC, movie actress (“Public Enemies”, “The Wicker Man”)/TV actress (“Joan of Arc”, “Uprising”)

2001 [09] Sasha (Natasha) Obama, Chicago IL, younger daughter of US President Barack Obama & First Lady Michelle Obama


• “Ball Point Pen Day”, celebrating its 1943 invention by Lasalo Biro of Budapest, Hungary. Britain’s Royal Air Force employed him during WW2 to develop a pen that could write under low atmospheric pressure at high altitudes.

• “Iced Tea Day”, celebrating the favorite summer cooler of millions. Tea is the world’s 2nd-most-popular beverage … after water. According to the Tea Association of Canada, Canadians drink more than 7 billion servings of tea (either hot or cold) per year.

• “Nursing Assistants Day”, to recognize nursing assistants who have dedicated their lives to the well-being of others. Here’s to you RNAs!

2003 [07] “Last Comic Standing” premieres on NBC-TV (7th season now underway)
2004 [06] Legendary singer Ray Charles dies of liver failure at age 73, just a few months before the bio-pic “Ray” opens

2005 [05] Action comedy “Mr & Mrs Smith” opens in movie theaters, the film in which Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie become a couple …. onscreen & off

1925 [85] ‘United Church of Canada’ 1st opens for business (Canada’s largest Protestant denomination with more than 3 million members)

1935 [75] ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’ is founded, in Akron OH

1998 [12] World Cup ‘98 kicks off, hosted by France (which goes on to win)

1979 [31] ‘World’s Largest Pastry’ is baked in Liestal, Switzerland, a 1,084-ft-long éclair (and gimme a keg of coffee with that, please!)

[Fri] “The A-Team”; “The Karate Kid” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Corn On the Cob Day
[Sat] Crowded Nest Awareness Day
[Sat] Wicket World of Croquet Day
[Sun] “True Blood” season debut (HBO)
[Sun] Tony Awards (NYC)
[Sun] Abused Women & Children’s Awareness Day
[Sun] Children’s Sunday
This Week Is … Beef Week
This Month Is … Zoo & Aquarium Month


• “Don’t mind me. I always clip my toenails in bed.”
• “On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.”
• “Did I mention the video camera?”
• “Hurry! This room rents by the hour!”
• “Can you pass me the remote control?”
• “But my cat always sleeps on that pillow.”
• “I have a confession to make …”
• “You woke me up for that?”
• “Zzzzzzzzzz.”

Always look out for #1. And don’t step in #2 either.

We’ll tell you the full name, you try to guess who the famous character is …
• Barbara Millicent Roberts (Barbie doll.)
• Horatio Magellan Crunch (Cap’n Crunch cereal mascot.)
• Patricia Reichardt (‘Peppermint Patty’ in the “Peanuts” comic strip.)
• Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs (‘Wizard of Oz’.)
• Jonas Grumby (‘The Skipper’ on vintage TV show “Gilligan’s Island”.)
• Milburn Pennybags (“Monopoly” mogul ‘Rich Uncle Pennybags’.)
• Salvatore Assante (‘Turtle’s real name on HBO’s “Entourage”.)
• Bernie Liederkrantz (“Sesame Street’s” resident game show host ‘Guy Smiley’.)
• Bibendum (tubby tire touter the ‘Michelin Man’.)
– Adapted from “Mental Floss”

You’ve just executed a successful ‘pittypat’. In which activity are you participating?
a. Playing marbles.
b. Skipping stones. [CORRECT. A ‘pittypat’ is a short skip at the end of a ‘run’.]
c. Jumping bones.
– “Land O’ Useless Facts”


What trip would you most like to take in your lifetime? Why haven’t you done it?


Today’s Question: The average one of THESE contains more than 420,000 bacteria.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Shoe. (


A professional is someone who does a good job even when they don’t feel like it.

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