Friday, June 11, 2010        Edition: #4282
Bully For You!

Actress Demi Moore is now writing her memoir, which is expected to be published in 2012 (in case you need to know even more about Ashton Kutcher’s private life) . . . A company called Evening Arwen is now selling the ‘Galactic Lord Corset’ & ‘Galactic Trooper Corset’ online for sci-fi fetishists, but denies they have anything to do with George Lucas’ ‘epic space opera franchise’ (that’s the official line anyway) . . . Famed philanderer Jesse James is being sued by Fortune Fashions for allegedly reneging on a contract, but he may luck out – the court is having trouble finding prospective jurors who’ve never heard of him (finally, a silver lining!) . . . They may have reconciled their marriage but it’s been revealed that CNN host Larry King’s 50-year-old wife Shawn Southwick has ‘over-medicated’ on pills and had to be hospitalized (while mumbling something that sounded like “OMG, I married an old man!”) . . . 49-year-old actor John Corbett (“Sex & The City 2”) tells “Access Hollywood” he & 53-year-old partner Bo Derek (a former “10”) are now too old to conceive a child but they’re considering adopting a ‘disadvantaged child’ (making he/she ‘advantaged’?) . . . 31-year-old actress Katherine Heigl (“Killers”) tells “Metro” she & husband Josh Kelley didn’t adopt their Korean daughter Naleigh to be ‘trendy’ as has been speculated (next they’ll be renewing their wedding vows) . . . Not only has 23-year-old British model-turned-actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley nabbed Megan Fox’s “Transformers 3” role, she’s also landed actor Jason Statham (“The Transporter”) as a live-in boyfriend (buy a lottery ticket, girl!) . . . Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs tells “LA Times” he’s putting his lavish lifestyle behind him, retiring his diamonds and fur coats because he doesn’t want to be seen as ‘dated and corny’ (too late, dude!) . . . And, according to Lindsay Lohan’s mother Dina, the pseudo-actress’ alcohol-monitoring anklet was famously set off last weekend when (snort!) a reveler at the “MTV Movie Awards” accidentally spilled a drink on her leg (… seven times).


• Bonnaroo Festival (Manchester TN) – This year’s annual 4-day weekend music fest includes Dave Matthews Band, The Dead Weather, Kings of Leon, Norah Jones, Phoenix, Weezer, Zac Brown Band, plus many more.
• Download Festival (Donington Park UK) – Tonight through Sunday one of Britain’s largest music events features AC/DC,  Aerosmith, Deftones, Rage Against the Machine, Stone Temple Pilots, and Them Crooked Vultures, among others.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Irish band Crystal Swing (“The Best Years of Our Lives”)
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Norah Jones (“The Fall”); Sarah McLachlan (“Laws Of Illusion”, out June 15th).
• Guitars Of the Stars Benefit Auction – Today the 2nd annual fundraiser at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium during the “CMA Music Fest” features guitars decorated by some of country music’s biggest stars. This year’s proceeds go for flood relief in the area.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Cypress Hill (“Rise Up”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Swedish band Miike Snow perform “Billie Holiday”.
• “Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami” (E!) – Sunday the Kardashian sisters return to South Beach to revamp their boutique as Season 2 premieres.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Circa Survive (“Blue Sky Noise”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Allison Moorer (“Crows”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – This morning Michael Bublé (“Crazy Love”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Alec Baldwin hosts; Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers are musical guests (“Mojo”, out June 15th).
• “Today” (NBC) – This morning Rascal Flatts headline the show’s ‘Summer Concert Series’.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Against Me! (“White Crosses”).
• “Tony Awards” (CBS) – Sunday American Theatre Wing’s 64th annual Antoinette Perry “Tony Awards” are handed out live from NYC’s Radio City Music Hall, honoring the year’s distinguished achievements on Broadway.
• “True Blood” (HBO) – Sunday ‘Sookie’ (Anna Paquin) turns to ‘Eric’ (Alexander Skarsgard) for help in the 3rd season debut. Natasha Alam is celebrating her addition to the cast as a dancer at the ‘Fangtasia’ club by baring all for “Playboy” magazine’s July edition.

• The Beatles – Sunday the only known audio recording of a 1966 press conference at the King Edward Hotel in Toronto, in which John Lennon is grilled about saying they were more popular than Jesus, is expected to sell for $20,000-plus at a Bonhams & Butterfields auction in LA.
• Jack Johnson – His new album “To The Sea” easily debuts atop the sales chart by moving 243,000 copies in its first week.
• Korn – They’re urging musical acts on the road this Summer not to use BP products in their touring vehicles as a protest over the giant oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.
• Michael Jackson – It looks like fans will be allowed into Forest Lawn Memorial Park on the anniversary of his death, June 25th, but not into the Great Mausoleum where he’s interred. A Glendale CA police spokesperson says they’ll be viewing it ‘from a distance’.
• Ricky Martin – The 38-year-old “La Vida Loca” singer is set to star in a revival of the musical “Evita” opposite Argentine actress Elena Roger. It’s scheduled to open on Broadway in 2012.
• Rihanna – She looks spectacular on the July cover of “Elle” magazine … but is her waist really the same width as her head?
• Shania Twain – The 44-year-old singer’s 14-year marriage to producer Robert ‘Mutt’ Lange is officially over as the divorce has been finalized this week. She celebrated by stepping out at the Swiss Red Cross Ball in Geneva with her new partner Frederic Thiebaud.
• Taylor Swift – Sunday she hosts “Taylor Swift’s 13-Hour Meet & Greet” from 8 am till 9 pm at Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena as part of the “CMA Music Fest”. (14 years ago today in 1996,  Garth Brooks set a Fan Fair record by signing autographs for 23 hours straight.)

• “The A-Team” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): Liam Neeson (‘Hannibal’), Bradley Cooper (‘Face’), and Jessica Biel (‘Charisa Sosa’) star in this bigscreen version of the 1983-87 TV show about 4 wrongly court-martialed Special Forces vets who do what they can to clear their names while unleashing obscene amounts of ammo. Shot in Vancouver & area.
• “The Karate Kid” ( PG Action Drama ): Jaden Smith (son of Will) plays a bullied kid who turns to his building’s maintenance man, a martial-arts master (Jackie Chan), to help him toughen up. A remake of the 1984 film that starred Ralph Macchio & Pat Morita. Soundtrack includes AC/DC, Akon, Flo Rida, John Mayer, Justin Bieber, K’Naan, Lady Gaga, and The Roots.

Scientists at Rothamsted Research in the UK have sorted through the 300-to-400 distinct chemical odors that the human body produces to find out why some people end up with dozens of bites after a backyard barbecue, while others remain unscathed. The researchers have concluded that people who avoid bites exude a handful of specific odors, some of which seem to be related to stress. (Flop sweat?)
– “Wall Street Journal”

This Saturday, a young couple in Fountain Hill, Pennsylvania are planning to wed. Amy Singley & Steven Smith were born on the same day (April 17, 1986) in the same hospital (St Luke’s) and their mothers shared the same maternity room. The 2 families kept in touch afterward as they attended the same church. Amy & Steven went on their first date in high school, and have been inseparable ever since. Amy says people are convinced the 24-year-olds are ‘destined to be together’. (Until they share the same divorce date.)


There’s a new fad in China of coloring pet animals’ fur to make them look like … other animals. For instance, a Golden Retriever dyed orange & black to look like a tiger drew a huge crowd this week at a pet show in Zhengzhou. The faux tiger played with 3 fluffy Chow Chow dogs that had been sheared and painted to look like baby pandas. It may sound cruel but only natural, non-toxic dyes are being used so no permanent harm is caused. The dye washes off after about 3 months. (However, the damage to the dog’s street cred lasts a lifetime.)
– “Times of London”

The 2010 World Cup uniforms are made from discarded plastic bottles, harvested from landfills in Japan and Taiwan, that were melted down into yarn and then spun into fabric.


1949 [61] Frank Beard, Frankston TX, classic rock drummer (ZZ Top-“Concrete & Steel”, “Sharp Dressed Man”)/ironically the only member of the band without a beard

1952 [58] Donnie Van Zant, Jacksonville FL, country/rock singer (w/Hank Williams Jr-“That’s How They Do It in Dixie”, Van Zant-“Help Somebody”)

1959 [51] Hugh Laurie, Oxford UK, TV actor (‘Dr Gregory House‘ on “House MD” since 2004)

1960 [50] Mehmet Oz, Cleveland OH, physician-surgeon/TV personality (“The Dr Oz Show” since 2009)/Oprah Winfrey protégé

1978 [32] Joshua Jackson, Vancouver BC, TV actor (‘Peter Bishop’ on “Fringe” since 2008, “Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)/movie actor (“Cruel Intentions”)

1986 [24] Shia LaBeouf, Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“Transformers” films, “Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”)

Former US President George HW Bush is 86; TV sportscaster Marv Albert (’The Voice of Basketball’) is 69; Fashion model Adriana Lima (Victoria’s Secret) is 29; Reality TV/adult video star Kendra Wilkinson is 25.

Movie actor Tim Allen (“Wild Hogs”) is 57; Rock singer/guitarist Rivers Cuomo (Weezer) is 40; TV personality Steve-O (“Jackass”) is 36; Country singer Jason Michael Carroll (“Livin’ Our Love Song”) is 32; Movie actor Chris Evans (“Fantastic Four”) is 29; Twin entrepreneurs Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen are 24.


• “Corn On the Cob Day”, celebrating the only ears most of us will ever eat.
• “Hug Holiday”, an annual observance begun by some eternal optimist somewhere who thinks most of the world’s troubles can be solved with a tight clinch. C’mon now, don’t be shy … group hug everybody!
• “King Kamehameha Day”, honoring Hawaii’s first king, who unified the Hawaiian Islands in 1810. Not very significant to the rest of us … but it sure is fun saying ‘Kah-MAY-uh-MAY-uh’!
• “Luminato”, the 10-day arts & creativity festival kicks off in Toronto. This year’s highlights include John Malkovich in “The Infernal Comedy: Confessions Of a Serial Killer”, ‘The Ultimate ’80s Party’, and the ‘1000 Tastes of Toronto’ food fest.

• “Red Rose Day”, an annual celebration of the most popular cut flower … also one of the most expensive!
• “Taco Day”, a day to stuff a hard tortilla shell with your favorite hot ‘n spicy fillings. (Tomorrow is “Unbearable Cramps Day”. )
• “Wicket World of Croquet Day”, saluting that other game that requires hitting balls on grass.
• “World Day Against Child Labor”, an annual observance since 2002 created by the International Labor Organization to raise awareness and activism against child labor for economic or military purposes.
• “World Naked Bike Ride” when naturists in 70 cities in 20 countries worldwide take to the streets on bicycles to protest oil dependency and to ‘celebrate the power and individuality of our bodies’. In Canada, groups have been organized to participate in Halifax, Montréal, Ottawa, Toronto, Winnipeg, Vancouver, and Victoria.

• “Children’s Sunday”, an annual salute on the 2nd Sunday in June to the wee folk.
• “Kitchen Klutzes Day”, celebrating not-so-accomplished cooks by encouraging them to prepare a recipe that contains no more than 4 ingredients, not including water, salt & pepper. (What’s the easiest dinner to make? Mac & Cheese?)

2002 [08] “American Idol: The Search For a Superstar” debuts (FOX) as a Summer replacement series, but quickly becomes the #1 show on US television (How many true ‘Superstars‘ has it produced? Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.)


2002 [08] 59-year-old Paul McCartney weds 34-year-old Heather Mills at Castle Leslie in Ireland (what an expensive idea this turns out to be!)


1994 [16] World’s ‘Largest Popcorn Container’ is unveiled in Jacksonville FL which, at 8-feet-tall, holds 6,620 cubic feet of popcorn


[Mon] World Blood Donor Day
[Mon] Family History Day
[Tues] National Man Day
[Wed] Fresh Veggies Day
[Thurs] Songwriters Hall of Fame Awards (NYC)
[Thurs] Recess at Work Day
This Week Is … Automotive Service Professionals Week
This Month Is … Lane Courtesy Month


• The metal buttons on his blood spattered jacket scratch your leather seats.
• His insistence in riding on your lap leads to an embarrassing traffic ticket.
• What you thought was a busty gal turns out to be Cheech Marin.
• He compliments your clothes, then asks your measurements.
• The knife didn’t concern you … but the sharpening process does.
• He proves resistant to chloroform.
• Barbed wire tattoo turns out not to be tattoo.
• Cordial game of ‘Punch-Buggy’ gets weird when he insists on “playing for keeps”.
– Thanks to Eric Martin

What would you like written on your headstone?

Love is like a roller coaster. When it’s good you don’t want to get off, and when it isn’t … you can’t wait to throw up.


Your shoelaces come untied all the time. Which should you do?
a. Soak your laces overnight in Cheez Whiz.
b. Learn to tie them in a ‘round turn with 2 half-hitches’.
c. Go back to old-fashioned flat laces. [CORRECT. The newer rounder laces look cool, but come untied a lot.]


Today’s Question: The average person gets 17 of THESE each year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Bug bites.


Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.

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